Precious Moments
Never would I have thought that I would be where I am now. I'm a father; completely in control of another human being's life and how it turns out. Some would say that it's all in the norm for me being a surgeon but this feeling is something completely different. Never did I think that I could hold such a tiny thing in my arms and be so scared. I am Patrick Drake, I take on any challenge and more often than not I come through with flying colors. But this is all a new experience for me. Sure, I walk in the operating room everyday and I cut open some part of another person's body. I am in control, I decide whether that person lives or dies… most of the time. But now, I have to set an example, be the best that I can be because one day it will all rub off on my daughter. My actions now will shape the way that my little girl looks at life and lives her own.
You're sleeping in the bed while I sit in the chair simply staring at the life that we created together. She's perfect. Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. She has the perfect little nose and the smallest ears. I have determined that she has your mouth but she definitely has my dimple.
The moment that she was delivered into this world and into my life, was magical. Being the one to welcome her was the best moment of my life and looking at you, our eyes locking and knowing we are now connected until the end of time… there are no words.
I am hoping she will look and act just like you. Although, maybe not in her size… But in all seriousness, I hope she looks at the world and sees things with the same equality that you do. I hope she gives everyone an equal chance and doesn't judge.
Sitting here watching her sleep, I am thinking of her future and my hopes and dreams for her because I am her father.
Those words are still so captivating.
I will be there to help her learn to speak and to walk, to drive her to her very first day of school. I will be there to teach her how to drive and then to watch her walk across that stage and get the thing that she will work thirteen years of her life for. And then I will be there to take that final walk with her when I give her away to the man who will captivate her heart like you have captivated mine.
Finally, I understand.
I understand just how much my father loved my mother and how her death was capable of ripping him apart piece by piece. I finally understand why he couldn't face me after her death. I also understand why it was so hard for your father and uncle to hand you over to me on our wedding day. I now understand why I saw such pain intermingled with the happiness in their eyes on that day.
It all becomes crystal clear when our daughter grips my finger and my hearts swells.
I look up at you, our eyes locking. We're finally a family. We're complete.
We brought another human being, a tiny version of ourselves into this world. It is now our job and our soul purpose on this earth to give her everything that she needs, to help her grow into a caring and compassionate adult so that one day she will be where we are; starting a family of her own.
Of course… that will be quite awhile from now. Not until she is at least fifty if I have anything to say about it.
But for right now, little Madison Leighanne Drake is my little girl, our gift. And every moment is more precious than the last.
