Soldiers in the military often talked about their sex lives. It was a result of a certain indifference that stemmed from the realization and awareness of one's own mortality, mixed with sentiments of boredom and a curiosity for the taboo. Had it not been for joining the army, most of the soldiers here wouldn't have had the opportunity to mingle so freely with other people their age—many would've been limited to their own respective villages and towns, spending their days farming, working in their parents' shops, and waiting for a love that might never come.
The Survey Corps had a strict rule against dating other soldiers. It was a measure that was put in place to avoid everything from seeing soldiers sleep with their superiors to climb the ranks, to limiting the amount of casualties on the battlefield from lovelorn soldiers who watched their lovers bleed out in the grass. But as much as the squad leaders and captains preached this gospel to the rank and file during assemblies, Levi knew, that out of the commanders who had served, Erwin enforced this rule the least.
Levi spent more time in Erwin's office than he'd claim he'd preferred—sitting opposite his mahogany desk, one of the few luxuries the Survey Corps had been afforded by the king's government—listening to battle strategies. More often than not, he would be joined by other veteran members like Hanji and Mike. But Levi would also spend his days there, drinking tea, finishing paperwork. Enjoying his company when he had no one else. A cold and distant man. That's how he seemed to the young soldiers who would pass him in the meal hall. But those who survived long enough knew Levi more closely—they were the ones who had survived, who shared a common consciousness.
They would seek friendship, companionship in each other, and by virtue of understanding this—by virtue of himself enjoying the details of life, the ones that involved others, Erwin was lax about the strict no dating rule. And the soldiers in different squads began to pair up occasionally, seeking solace after a particularly rough expedition, or simply having someone to smile and stare at from across the field during training.
Erwin never talked about Levi's sex life. He didn't ask. He assumed he didn't have one. Hanji and Mike would speak freely at the table at meals, bored with other topics. Bored with the death, the drama, the mundanity of the town. They indulged in the topic, their voices loud, mingled with the conversations of others around the meal hall. Levi would listen, bored, his intrigue or curiosity occasionally piqued once they said something particularly forward. But he would rarely engage. That was before Erwin had assigned Levi a team and made him a squad leader. Erwin watched as the membership at his table dwindled. As Mike, Hanji, and now Levi went to their own respective teams to sometimes have meals as a group. He watched them laugh and push each other around the way they had at their own table, but the interactions were different. Slightly nuanced when he watched the way their squads, flush with respect for their leaders, would speak and joke with them. Ever so slightly. And this was most definitely true with Levi's squad.
A team of elite members of the Survey Corps whose memberships had all exceeded at least two years. Experienced, precise, deadly. They moved as one in training—Erwin had watched their practice, after all, he had picked them—and this carried itself off of the battlefield as well. Fierce sense of protectiveness for each other, a sense of comradeship that was impossible to find in the lower ranks and anywhere beyond the Survey Corps, and joy that came from people truly enjoying the company of the other people around them. They were the finest soldiers that the army had to offer, and they served under the finest captain that the army had ever seen.
Erwin sometimes made a bad habit of staying up through the night. Of sleeping a few hours during the day, and then staying up until the morning bells for breakfast. He would sit in the meal hall, enjoying the tall ceilings and empty room, and watch as the soldiers would file in for food. Sitting from his far table, watching the entryway, he would sip at his coffee in the morning, and observe the patterns of the soldiers coming in. He could tell a lot more about their personality, their habits, by the way they interacted with the staff, their appetite, and the others around them, and the time in which they entered the room. The order for Levi's squad would always be the same. Erd and Gunther would come down in the mornings first, alternating between each other who would come first, stretching their arms, grabbing food, and being the first to sit at their squad's table. Gunther never took much in the morning—some coffee, a piece of bread. He ate lightly in the mornings, at the table, it seemed, more so to engage with his comrades and wake up before the day's first set of training than really to eat breakfast. Erd, on the other hand, would pile his plate with as much as was allowed. He knew the kitchen staff was sneaking him a bit more food than the others—perks of being so deadly—and he would enjoy multiple slices of bread, multiple cups of coffee, and by the time the others were coming down, he'd already be eating another plate of food. They sat across from each other, accustomed to their own patterns, talking in spirited, but relatively low voices in the morning. He watched them smile and eat, chat and relax. Petra would usually come down next—around a half hour later, right before when the meal hall became crowded. She'd arrive around the same time as Mike. Ever the model soldier, Ral would step through the doors, looking prepared to fight. Her straps were already on, prepared for the morning's training, whereas Erd's would typically hang lamely at his sides. Her jacket rarely had a wrinkle, looking crisp and orderly, and she would be wearing a slightly more toned down version of her typical smile. Mornings, clearly, were not her thing. She would start with a cup of coffee, sitting next to Erd and enjoying the company of the two men, and right before the morning rush, she would refill her cup and grab a plate of food, eating slowly throughout the allocated time. By the time Petra would sit down, and the meal hall would flood with tan and white uniforms, Auruo would stumble in. He wore a scowl—though Erwin knew that in part it was to imitate Levi—and while his uniform would also be looking crisp and clean, he could tell that Auruo was exhausted, tired out from the night. He stood in line for food, eager to escape the chaos and sit opposite Petra, flirt to no avail, and join the rising noise coming from Squad Levi's table.
And Levi entered the room last. Erwin could never quite get his time of arrival correct. It fluctuated from day to day, depending on how much work he'd had, how much sleep he'd been able to scrape by with. He glided through the doors, and everyone in the room tried to pretend as if they hadn't noticed his presence. He skipped the line for food completely—he didn't eat in the mornings, a habit he'd developed since his youth—and when he arrived at the table, his soldiers stood at attention. Occasionally, Levi would've passed by Erwin's own table to muster a hello or mutter a few short words. But he always returned to his men. When Levi arrived, sitting at the head of the table, with Auruo and Petra Ral flanking him on either side, a new pot of coffee will already be in the process of brewing at the table–placed since he arrived in the room. The entire squad always took a last cup of coffee together in the mornings, prepared, as he'd heard, by Petra Ral herself. The squad indulged in her fine coffee making skills, an upgrade to the poor military grade sludge they offer in the mornings, and sometimes, he knew, they would chip in to buy the finer beans and grounds that would be imported in the shops and market stalls beyond the compound. Petra Ral would make the rounds at their table, always starting with Levi, and she would pour them all a cup, retaking her seat to Levi's right, and enjoying the warm cup of coffee in the morning. Despite being elites, and despite being able to draw from a serious place that new soldiers lacked, they were just as loud as the other tables around the hall. They laughed, slammed the table, and scolded each other. Even they were not limited those habits.
But today, was different. Erd and Gunther skipped through the doors first, taking their spot, and starting the squad's routine. That was no different. But Erwin was surprised when he noticed Auruo stumbling at the table first—before the squad's only female member. It was an odd break in routine, though he supposed that anomalies were to happen. Still, he couldn't quite shake it. The mess hall was full by the time Auruo began to eat. He would glance up every so often at their table, curious as to whether or not the members were aware of their very own habits and routine. Then Petra Ral stumbled in far later than she usually did. He watched as she joined the line for food, finishing the straps on her legs, oblivious to the other ones hanging by her arms' sides. She looked relieved to be in the line, and he watched as she grabbed a plate of food, ignoring the coffee initially, only to set her plate down at the table and rush back, remembering. The men were oblivious to her disarray, but commented on her clear state of relative disheveledness. He watched as Auruo said something, prompting the other men to laugh, and he watched as Petra Ral swung the palm of her hand across his face, leaving a stinging red mark. He began to turn his full attention to the table, amused at their situation, when he was surprised to notice Levi traipse into the room. He was earlier than usual. His expression was cold, empty, as usual, but he couldn't help but notice the slight nuanced shift that occurred once he was at the table. He took his spot, and the table turned their attention. There was no coffee, a break to tradition. He watched as Petra began to stand up, to go grab the pot that waited for them specifically, but Levi made a motion at her to sit down, and Gunther stood up instead. They talked, loudly, and he watched them battle amongst one another as they drank their coffee. Their interactions were more lively this morning, and as he ever so rarely did, he watched Levi join their conversation. The bell rang for the soldiers to leave, and one by one, the members of the table left their lively banter. The men left first, leaving Petra to finish her plate of food, and Levi his coffee. The mess hall emptied as soldiers looked to spend their twenty minutes before training, until few others were left besides him and Levi and his soldier. She polished off her plate, and Erwin watched as Levi moved to refill both of their coffee cups. They engaged in small talk—more than Levi had been talking with the group at first—and they seemed at ease with each other. From just around a year of being together, Erwin assumed. They chatted, Levi reclining back in his chair, Petra speaking increasingly animatedly. And then he watched as Levi leaned towards her, as Petra bent forward, and as Levi said something in a low voice to her. She smiled, laughing, then smiled at him. And Levi formed a small, slight smile in return. Then she cleared her plate, and just before she stood up, Levi cupped her face, and left a chaste kiss on her cheek. She beamed, stealing a glance around the room, then placed her fingers under his chin, kissing him on the lips in return. And then the two of them left the hall together for training.
"We never talk about your sex lives," Erd said, stirring at his cup of coffee. Petra and Levi had just come into the hall, minutes apart from each other.
"What," Petra said, her mouth full with food. She swallowed hard, taking a sip of water. "Is that all you can really talk about? You might as well be twelve—or be one of those new soldiers, fresh out of training camp."
"Really," Gunther added, taking a sip from his own cup. "Whenever we talk about it, you're always so limited on what you say." He glanced over at Levi, debating whether or not to make the same claim about their captain. But Erd beat him to it. "You as well captain," Erd added.
Levi sighed, listening to the insolence of his squad. "You sound like children, Schulz and Ginn." He chastised them lamely, the table filling with their snickers and giggles. He stole a glance at Petra, thinking about the morning they'd just had. How he'd woken up, arm draped lazily over her stomach, feeling more rested than he had in weeks. How when he'd woken her up, trailing kiss from her shoulders to her neck, hearing her let of out a groan of tiredness, only to switch to light giggles from his touch on her bare skin. She rolled over and kissed him deeply, running her hands through his hair, feeling the warmth of his body. And before he'd let her stumble out of bed, he'd pulled her back, eliciting a squeal of protest, rolling on top of her, enjoying the taste of her lips, even in the morning. And pressed against her, lips against hers, he whispered, I love you.
"I'm just saying," Erd continued. "You guys are definitely stiffing us on some good stories. There's no way that if even Bossard is getting some neither of you aren't." Erd took a sip of coffee. "Just saying."
"Yes, well." Petra sighed, speaking over Auruo's protests. "Maybe I just don't want to brag about my sex life that guys like you can only dream of." To that, the three of them laughed, hitting the table, protesting fiercely back against Petra, livening up the group's conversation. Levi watched as the only female member of his squad fought against the guys, as if they were all schoolchildren, and he felt a smile creep into the corners of his lips. He drank his coffee, still hot, and watching them, resisted the urge to brush away at the piece of hair that had fallen in front of Petra's face. Instead, he nudged his foot to his right, brushing against her own. She turned back towards him at the slight movement, and smiled—a knowing smile reserved just for him.
When the others cleared the table, they both lingered behind, talking softly. There was almost nobody else in the hall, and Levi felt more at ease alone with her. "Do you think they knew?" Levi asked.
Petra smiled, "I think they definitely suspect something. We came down together," Petra polished off her coffee, then shot him an accusatory glare. "And, you made me late." Levi smiled, leaning forward, and spoke softly against the shell of her ear. "What, did you not like that?"
He watched as she reddened, but also as the smile spread across her face. She let out light laughter, and smiled at him. "You know I love waking up next to you in the mornings." She cleared her plate, but before she could stand up, Levi slid his hand into hers, pulling his hand up to cup her cheek, and left a chaste kiss, his lips brushing against her skin. Petra couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. He rarely did little affectionate actions. It was usually pulling her down a darkened hallway between training sessions to kiss her hard against the stone walls. Or a tug to the hips and a trail of kisses up her neck in the stables when the squad had stepped away. A visit at night to his office, to his bedroom. But this was new. It was soft. And she loved it. Petra glanced around the room, making sure nobody else was really there, and then placed her fingers under his chin, pulling him in for a deeper kiss, slipping her tongue in, enjoying his apparent surprise and eagerness when his hand moved to her waist, pulling her close. Petra smiled against his lips, then pulled away, smiling at him. And even though they didn't say anything, the message was clear. I love you. And then the two of them left together for training.
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