Chapter VII: Kokopelli and the Cave

Raven woke up to the sound of cascading water. She tried to sit up but her body cried out in pain. This trip was definitely taking its toll on her. Terra was not beside her and she began looking around for her missing companion. Her backpack still lay beside the sleeping bag so she hadn't gone far.

Raven looked at her smaller backpack and froze momentarily. The hammer Terra had given her was no longer there. It would be a potent weapon if she decided to use it on her. There was still some slight distrust in her for her companion. Raven felt a bit of remorse when she realized if that was the case she wouldn't be alive to consider this possibility.

Terra stood on the other side of the room near the waterfall. She had her arms spread out feeling the canyon walls; her hammer was strapped to her waist. Raven stood up and gingerly made her way over to her. Terra appeared to be hugging the canyon rocks.

"What are you doing," Raven asked curiously.

"I'm communing with the rocks," she said slowly. "You have your meditation and I have my communing; I'm recharging my batteries so to speak." She continued to run her hands along the rock walls with her eyes pinched shut.

Something caught Raven's attention out of the corner of her eye. She walked closer to the water fall. There were several strange figures carved onto the canyon walls that she hadn't noticed before. Some were plain hand prints, others were squiggly lines. There was a rough figure that resembled the sun but the strangest one appeared to be a man with tall hair hunched over in a dancing posture playing what appeared to be a flute.

"That one's called Kokopelli," Terra's voice called out from behind her over the sound of the cascading waters. "They were made by the Anastazi. There are carvings like this all over the desert."

Raven continued to stare in wonder at the strangely compelling figures. "What do they mean?" she asked.

Terra considered Raven's question. "I think they're someone's attempt to say that even though my name is lost in the eons of time past and my bones have long ago become dust, scattered by the dry desert winds." Terra paused then stepped forward and gently laid her hand on the ancient petroglyph. She then turned and looked into Raven's probing eyes, "That I exist."

Raven looked away from the carved figure and into Terra's tear-stained eyes. The two girls' eyes locked in understanding for that one moment.

"Come on," Terra said as she made her way back to her sleeping bag. "It's time to go."

Raven continued to stare at the petroglyphs a moment longer then reluctantly turned and followed her companion.

Terra rolled her bag back up and attached it to her pack. She pulled out the sun screen and began applying it to her face and arms. Raven stepped forward and closed her eyes as Terra reapplied it to her face, arms, ears and neck.

"I see you've changed your outfit," she said as she handed the bottle to Raven and turned around. "Everything fit all right?"

Raven took a dab of sun screen and smoothed it over the back of Terra's neck. "The shorts are a bit tight, but it's definitely an improvement over what I had on before." Terra turned around and Raven handed her the sun screen which she quickly returned to her pack.

"You're a little more hippy than me; that's why they're a little tight," Terra explained. "Raven," Terra continued. "Thanks for coming with me. I wouldn't have made it this far without you."

Raven looked at her curiously, "What do you mean? All I've done is slow you down."

Terra let out a small laugh. "You haven't slowed me down, you've only helped me forward." She put on her canvas hat and strapped on her backpack. "Come on, we don't have much further to go."

Raven packed up her things, hoisted her pack onto her back and put on her hat. "Where are we going Terra?"

Terra took a couple of steps then halted. "All in due time; you will have your answers shortly."

The two travelers exited the ravine and headed back down the dry river bed. The sun was low in the sky. Raven took a deep breath and pressed on behind her fleet-footed companion. She was glad that their journey was almost over; her legs couldn't take too much more of this.

The pair walked for a couple of hours until the sun turned orange and the desert began to burn under its fading light. Terra came to a sudden stop and Raven almost ran into her.

"What's the matter?" Raven asked her riveted companion. She walked around and saw Terra staring blankly towards one of the sides of the wash. Raven turned trying to figure out what she was looking at. Above the bank of the wash Raven could make out a dark opening of a cave along the rocky slope.

"Terra is that where we need to go?" Raven asked. Terra nodded affirmative. Raven could feel Terra's heart beating fast in anticipation.

Terra pressed forward and scampered up the side of the wash's steep embankment. Raven tried to follow her but every time she would get a footing the ground gave out under her. Terra was not making much progress either. Raven quickly gave up and floated along behind her struggling companion.

"Terra, this is hopeless," Raven protested. "Let me help you."

Terra grunted in frustration as the ground gave way under her feet and she slid down the loose embankment. "I can do this," she protested. She pulled out her hammer and swung it hard into the side of the wash burying the pick end deep into the loose soil. Terra pulled herself up, gained a foothold and she repeated this several times until she was halfway up the embankment. Raven followed her afraid she would loose her grip and fall to the ground.

Terra was pulling herself up when her hammer became dislodged and she began to slip down the side. She screamed as she started to fall. Raven quickly grabbed her as her hammer tumbled down the side of the embankment and clanged onto the dry river bed below them. Raven carried her to the top of the wash embankment and gently lowered her to the ground. Terra sighed and looked down as her hammer reflected the dying sunlight. She turned to Raven and looked sadly at her.

Raven held out her hand and pulled Terra's hammer up from below and returned it to her. Terra reached out and plucked it from the air then cradled it to her chest. "Thank you," she said in relief.

The pair turned to the cave opening that was only a short climb up the side of a rocky hill. Raven and Terra carefully picked their way up the slope avoiding the prickly cacti and scrub brush.

Both paused at the cave opening as the sun quickly descended towards the horizon. The pair jumped as the coyotes howled in the wash below them. Terra quickly pushed Raven into the cave opening.

"Whoa Terra, easy," Raven protested as they entered the cave.

"I'm sorry," Terra said as she began to breathe quickly bordering on hyperventilating. "I don't like coyotes or any dogs for that matter."

"It's OK, we should be safe," Raven tried to reassure her. "That is if we can start a fire to see what's in here."

Raven heard a cracking sound as Terra broke a pair of glow stick and shook them. She handed one to Raven then took her backpack off and looked sadly into the gloom. Raven took the glow stick, turned around and looked into the cavern. The dim light revealed a mound of dirt and debris that filled the back of the cave up to the ceiling.

"What is this place?" Raven asked as her voice echoed in the room. Terra wouldn't answer her so she turned and looked at her companion. Terra looked down onto the dust covered floor. "Terra?"

There was a long silence before Terra looked up. Her eyes glistened in the feeble light. "This was Slade's base."

Raven turned and looked back at the debris. There was no way to tell if Terra was telling the truth unless she was willing to spend the next several weeks excavating this mess. Coyote howls broke out outside louder than before. Terra jumped but soon settled as their cries died down.

"Did you do this?" Raven asked her companion. Terra remained silent. "Come on Terra, answer me."

"Yes," Terra finally replied.

"What's the matter, you tried to take out Slade," Raven replied. She wondered why Terra seemed so upset.

"You don't understand," Terra countered. "This was our base."

Raven was confused. Terra continued her explanation. "I tried to kill him, but it wasn't because I opposed him." She paused then continued. "It was because I despised him."

"What are you talking about?" Raven was totally lost.

Terra took a deep breath and looked directly into Raven's eyes. "He was my lover."

Raven stared at Terra in disbelief as a sudden chill washed over her when she realized what she had just said. "You don't mean," Raven started but halted unable to fathom the possibility of Slade and Terra joined in that way.

"Yes, I do," she looked into Raven's startled eyes. "I willingly gave myself to him. It was a mistake, I know that now." Terra's eyes grew cold as she became defensive. "I thought he was the only one who understood me; I thought I loved him. A girl can make a mistake," she said in a hurt voice.

"How?" Raven asked.

"The ravine, Slade found me in the ravine," Terra tried to explain. "That's where I was. I came out here to end it all." Terra paused for a moment then pressed on with her explanation. "I couldn't deal with my powers any longer; I wanted everything to end. It was about to when Slade showed up and saved me from the coyotes."

"But he didn't save you just for the sake of it. Slade never does anything without a cost," Raven interjected.

"Yes, it came at a cost," she agreed. "But at the time it was a cost I was willing to pay. He helped me gain some control over my powers. I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me."

"But he didn't," Raven said bitterly.

"No, he didn't," Terra said in a hurt voice. "I figured that out eventually. Then I tried to kill him and free myself. That's when I came to the Titans, hoping for acceptance." Terra paused as Raven went over the Titans first meeting with her and her sudden angry departure.

"I'm sorry," Raven replied softly when she realized what kind of trouble Terra had been in at that time. "We would have helped if we knew."

"Yes, I think you would have. But I ran away from you afraid and bitter," Terra continued. "Back to Slade and like a fool I trusted him."

Raven looked down, "I'm not sure I would have done much better if I was in your situation."

"Well because of that I almost killed all of you," Terra said bitterly. "I was stupid not to trust the people who could have helped me."

There was another short pause. Raven looked up into Terra's angry face and searched for some words to comfort her. "But you didn't follow Slade. You made the right decision, even if it was late. You destroyed Slade and saved the city." Raven paused looking to see if her words had brought Terra any comfort.

"Yes," Terra said distantly. "But I was the one responsible for that situation." She looked at Raven who could not find any words to counter her. "What happened was a perfect ending; I didn't want to come back."

"What do you mean?" Raven asked.

"Taking out a bad guy and then sacrificing yourself to save millions," Terra explained. "I couldn't have done any better; I died a hero. It should have all ended there," she paused again. "But Slade and I were bound to each other in death. When your father called Slade to serve him, I returned also." She began to walk towards Raven, her light footsteps echoing in the cavern. "Slade was incomplete when he returned, and so was I. Without my powers I figured I could live out my life like a normal person and no one would be interested in me."

"No one except for Beast Boy," Raven quickly added.

"Yes, except for him," Terra replied with a faint smile.

"But Slade eventually retrieved himself," Raven added.

"He did, and I can also retrieve myself if I choose to."

"What do you mean?" Raven asked.

"It's there in front of you," Terra pointed towards the debris.

Raven turned and spied something glowing lightly near the ground. She reached down and brushed away the dirt and rocks exposing a small piece of turquoise about the size of her finger. It slid out easily as Raven held it in her hands and turned towards Terra.

Terra recoiled from it in fear. "No Raven, please stop."

Raven halted as she watched Terra stagger backwards. "It's yours; don't you want it back?" she asked curiously.

"I don't know. It would mean going through that struggle all over again. I'm not sure if I have the strength to bear that burden again; I just don't think I have what it takes to be a hero," Terra said sadly.

Raven looked at the glowing piece of turquoise in her hand then at her frightened friend. She understood the constant struggle Terra alluded to; she had suffered the same fate and had the same doubts. "I think the main difference between villains and heroes is trust," Raven said slowly. "Villains don't trust anyone but themselves. Heroes, on the other hand, are not always that confident. They rely on their friends to help them when they're unsure."

Raven released the glowing piece of turquoise and levitated it towards Terra. She held her ground as it halted before her, glowing softly in the darkening cavern.

"Terra," Raven said firmly. "Your destiny will always lie in you own hands, and the hands of your friends."

Terra looked into Raven's dark eyes and took a deep breath. She cupped her hands underneath the glowing turquoise stone as it fell softly into her hands.