Disclaimer: I don't own HP.
Chapter Thirteen, Year Two: A Highly Dysfunctional Neighborhood
After Salazar finished packing, Snape finished altering people's memories, and Draco finished hunting down the runespoor (he never did find it), they were ready to leave. Snape pulled a portkey out from a pocket, and they appeared in a house, filled with Muggle utensils, and generally looking very un-Malfoyish.
Salazar stepped outside to get a better look at his temporary new house and the surrounding neighborhood. The neighborhood was what one could generally find in a Muggle town, and the house looked very...very...well..., it looked like a...
"Beach house? Malfoy, your parents bought a beach house in a Muggle town?" Salazar asked incredulously.
"Huh?" Draco's head suddenly appeared in the threshold. He looked around. "Well, I guess they did. Isn't that strange?"
The two were momentarily distracted from their confusion as someone lit a fire in front of their house. In the middle of the day no less.
"That's it, Muggles are officially insane, but hey, you should get along wonderfully with them. That said, I'm going to unpack."
Salazar shook his head, and went inside the house.
...
"Alright, let's lay some ground rules first," Snape said, glaring in particular at Salazar and Draco. "No magic will be cast here. At all. We are infested with Muggles, and they will eventually notice even the slightest bit of household magic. In case you're wondering, I'm directing this to Lupin."
Lupin blinked at Snape innocently.
"Next, the two of you will not attempt to kill, maim, or psychologically and/or emotionally harm the other, is that understood? Good.And lastly, it would be a wise idea to try to not refer to the Muggles as such. Or mention the Dark Lord, or anything pertaining to the Wizarding world in general while not in this house. Furthermore, these rules are liable to change and more will be added on as needed. I think that's it." Snape trailed off and stared at a wall, looking a bit disturbed. The others turned to look at the wall as well.
The noises of an arguing family could be heard. Suddenly, there was a giant crash, and a fan went flying out of the house, into a parked van. Curses could be heard two houses down.
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," Salazar said dryly, staring as a young man began to run, closely followed by another man, presumably the van's owner, and a small mob.
"And people honestly believe Trelawney is insane. Have any of my colleagues ever visited this neighborhood?" Snape muttered, also staring as, what could pass as an impromptu street theatre drama unfolded.
...
After everything settled down, and the four wizards chose their bedrooms and unpacked, Remus decided that it would be a good idea for Salazar and Draco to meet their new neighbors. Needless to say, they didn't feel it was appropriate to label it as a good idea. A bad idea was a better name. So was insane and suicidal.
Draco sighed and looked at Salazar angrily. Salazar glared back.
"You ring the doorbell. You're a Malfoy."
"Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, your rich and a pureblood. That and you act like a girl sometimes. So, ladies first."
"Oh, but I'm not Harry-bloody-Potter, the Boy-Who-Won't-Friggin-Die. I think you should have the honor."
"Of what? A heroic and tragically early death by fan?"
The staring match began anew. It was interrupted by a door opening, and a girl staring at them oddly.
"Could you possibly.stare at each other somewhere else? Preferably not in front of my door?" she asked. She looked possibly 15 or 16 with brown hair.
"We are new around here, and were wondering if we could become better acquainted."
The girl stepped back and slammed the door in their faces. The sound of locks clicking into place could be heard.
"Good going Potty, now that girl thinks your some type of rapist," Draco said, crossing his arms and attempting to drill a hole through Salazar's scar with the sheer power of his mind. It didn't work.
"Oh, so you couldn't interrupt me or anything!" Salazar exclaimed, whirling around wildly, and almost causing Draco to tip over the steps' railing.
"No, it's too much fun watching you suffer."
Salazar made a noise of annoyance and threw his hands up in the air. He attempted to cross the street to move away from the "annoying proof of the banes of incest", and was almost run over by a giant maroon monstrosity on wheels.
The two could hear screaming from the same house they'd just left. It sounded like a two year old. It also sounded like he was screaming 'Hummer'. But Draco knew that couldn't be right. What was so bad about a person who hummed? He did it sometimes! His father did it sometimes. Must be a Malfoy thing.
A girl stepped out of the truck. She looked rather pale and had black hair. She looked around 15 as well. Salazar attempted to introduce himself again.
"Er, hello, My name's Harry Potter. I'm new here."
"Really? That's nice." There was silence.
"..You really don't have the greatest social skills, do you?" Draco asked when it became apparent that no one was going to break the silence soon.
The was a slight 'hmm' and a shrug.
"So, uh, what's you name, do you live here?"
"Why do you want to know?" The girl said, suddenly defensive. "And who's he? Also, do you have a list of any sexual based crimes? Do you have a murder rap?" There was a glare.
"Ah, nooo..." Draco said, backing away. That girl was paranoid. "I think Harry and I are going to take our leave now," he said, starting to slowly back away.
"So, you've either murdered or molested and/or raped someone. Or both. So, which is it?"
Draco and Salazar began to back away.
"She's crazy," Salazar whispered to Draco. Draco nodded in response. Then, when all hope seemed to be lost.the door opened, and the girl from earlier poked her head out.
"Annej! Jenna! Alugilac! Whatever you want to call yourself, get in here and stop scaring and mentally scarring people!"
With one last glare at the two, Annej, or Jenna, or Alugilac, whichever her name was, went into the house. The yelling began again. Something about easter bunnies, glomping and demands to be unhanded.
"...I think I've had enough of meeting our neighbors," Salazar said. That was one of the oddest moments of his lives.
Draco nodded silently, still staring at that house with round eyes.
A/N:
IMPORTANT THINGIE! ONLY VOTE FOR THE POLL ONCE!
This came later than was expected. It was because of soccer. Soccer practice and a mandatory soccer camp. It left me too sore and too tired to do anything but...yeah you get the picture. Luckily for you, I slightly pulled my achille's tendon. I don't get to play for a week now. This is kind of short I know, but I got some basics down...
The whole fan incident was real, and happened to a friend of mine named Courtney. She wrote the Marauder's Summer Vacation. It's funny, you should go and read it.
And don't worry, the new people won't have much bearing on the story...well, a little, but they won't suddenly develop super powers and cause Sal and Draco to fall madly in love with them. I acrtually based them off of me and Court, so they have all of our bad habits and stuff. They'll only be there for the next two chapters or so.
Reviews:
NephyRiddle: Oh, yeah. It's an entirely different story.I haven't really given any thought to the basilisk yet. When I come to that bridge, then I'll consider it.
andy-may: You voted twice already? I'll have to subtract one vote then. I should have mentioned it earlier though. You can only vote once. Once.
japanese-jew: I just couldn't resist adding in Zim. He just applies to everything. It's some law of nature or something.
twisteddagger: Thanks. I'm trying to make it as original as possible at the moment.
like whoa: Thanks also. I updated, it took a little while. Not as long as some other times, but still a bit longer than I would have liked.
ivan the terrable: Well, that's actually a good question. I didn't notice that it just disappeared before, so right now, it's a plot hole. Shhh, don't tell anyone! But eventually, I'll make it into...something. Maybe a...I dunno. Thanks for pointing it out. You get a cookie! And the knowledge that you were the only one to notice AND tell me about it. I like your name too. It's clever. Terri...Terra, earth. I like it!
Didaskaleinophobia: I'm glad. That chapter was much more random than the last, and less by the book. Ah, no pun intended. I'm also glad you liked the last lines. I'm planning on having them figure it out, or something, eventually.
kawaii chibi shun: I'm glad you love it, and thank you! You don't know how much your review meant. It's the little things that are added on that sometimes catch a person's eye the most, and your last few words definitely caught me eye. "whichever is easier for you to write." The last person that said that was a friend of mine.
Heiress-To-The-Dark-Throne: In updated! In a week no less! Or about a week. But hey, who's calulating?
Inu-Angel Z: We need more people like you! The laid back kind. The kind that aren't obsessive over small details like some others! I need to become like that!
veronik: You'll just have to wait and see. It'll all become clear for you in the next chapter.
dark-artemis89: Well, Sal probably isn't very Slytherin in this chapter yet. When he gets back to school, he will be...hopefully. I don't know why, I just can't seem to write Slytherin Sal anymore. IT'S HORRIBLE! He's going to be OOC for the rest of his career in my fic! Well, hopefully not. Hopefully. Let's just pray.
Alright now, it's time for the count.
Friendship with 18 votes
Sal S/Draco with 7
and either or with 4
And a thanks too k, SunStar Kitsune, lunadea21, Medabart, Dark Lord Frederick, and Szihuoko for the votes!
Everyone else, I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as a friend of mine apparently enjoyed betaing it. And as much as my ankle hurts. And as much as...I just really hoped you enjoyed it.
