OK.
We're back in real time now!

Hurley was sat in the pantry eating away.
He was now safe from Jack and Sawyer, plus no one suspected a thing!
He was eating.
RANCH DRESSING!

Just then Charlie ran in.
"Oh my god! I didn't know I'd find you here Hurley!"

"don't tell anyone..."

"Nah I won't! Look, I need some peanut butter..."

"why just peanut butter? we have a wide selection here!" Said Hurley.

Hurley already knew were this was going. He was already thinking through different plans to kill him. They were still friends and all, but he couldn't let it out now. One thing would lead to another and he'd end up most hated, higher ranked than Sawyer, Kate would cry from the memory, people would hurt him, he'd cry, he'd need a doctor, Kate would cry more from the other memory, he'd momentarily gain super powers, fly around the world, loose the super powers, fall to his death in the ocean, and he would no longer be able to steal from the hatch, because he'd be dead. So dead he wouldn't even be able to haunt people... and that's his new life's goal... for after death.
If that makes any sense at all.
Anyway! Back to Charlie time!

"Well I thought I'd try and win Claire back with some peanut butter... but anyway, can you help me out?"

"uh... suuuurrre I caaaan..." He chucked Charlie a jar of peanut butter, "oh... and if I was you I wouldn't give it to her till tonight... when it's dark... and no one can stop you... you could do anything... you could kill someone... and no one would hear them scream..."

"right... thanks for that... but I think you may of had too much ranch dressing..." Charlie left the hatch.

Hurley's mind raced, searching for ideas to kill Charlie. he needed something that no one suspect. that could be blamed on the virgin Mary statues or their contents, or even his new found love of stealing Claire's baby.
Then it came to him.

he ran to the freezer and grabbed a.
WATER MELON!

He then rushed around the hatch until he found an old sheet.
He wrapped the sheet around the melon, and pinned it into place. He was ready.

That evening Hurley ran out onto the beach with his melon. once he saw Charlie just ahead of his he threw the melon into the sea. He went to join Charlie.

"hey Charlie what's that in the water. it looks like a fish or maybe even a child to me!"

Charlie turned and stared out into the ocean.
"OH MY GOD!" he screamed, "CLAIRE'S BABY!"

"OH NO! I'll go get triple chocolate cookies and ice-cream!" yelled Hurley, who skipped back into the jungle towards the hatch.

"OK! What the hell!"

Claire's tent was right opposite where he had been screaming, so naturally she jumped up and grabbed her child in fear that the crazed Charlie may try and christen her child again.

Charlie turned to Claire, "Claire! seriously! come help! Can't you see your baby is drowning!" he screamed as he started to run into the water.

"Charlie, all I can see is a water melon... quit the screaming!"

" huh? "all I can see is you water man lol"! Don't worry I'll save you baby!"

And so the "water man" headed out into the sea to save this so called baby, but of course by now the melon was drifting out with the tide. A storm was approaching (how convenient.
Charlie swam on while people gathered to watch one of the islands outcasts swim to his death.

Meanwhile back in the hatch Hurley was sat with a bag of triple chocolate cookies and a tub of ice-cream. the ice-cream had a cowboy hat on and the cookies had a sheriffs badge.

"can you believe it guys! Charlie actually thought I was getting you guys to come and help!"

So he sat laughing with his items of food while everyone else watched Charlie die. Charlie died knowing he was water man in the eyes of Claire! Claire watched him die knowing her child could remain whatever religion people are when they have no chosen religion! Hurley heard that he died knowing he wasn't gonna have any peanut butter thieves bother him anymore!

How was it?
This fic is getting quite long!

Next chapter soon.