Chapter XV
Fifteenth Session
So many unrelated ideas can fit inside a mind plagued by possibilities. For some reason humans tend to chaos and destruction, and understand chaos as an absolute which doesn't give them anything, just abstraction and pain. However, how beautiful seems the mind that lightens, and expands, and leaves behind the fear of being born again, and again, and again, as many times as ideas jump and take flight.
InuYasha left the book he was reading, a sharp pain stabbing his head. He had a certain tendency to masochism, taking philosophy at the university had done nothing but assure him of that. He never intended to finish the career, yet who knows? It was a possibility. Once or twice, he'd slept with a philosophy student and could remember that, aside from spending some pretty decent hours in her company, she'd had a couple of interesting books in her room. He didn't want to see her again, however, as she showed him that gaze some girls get when their minds explore ideas of them together after just one night. He learnt to discern them soon after his casual encounters began, more than anything because he could see himself in that gaze, the same feeling he held years past.
His eyes closed briefly, and he thought the day hadn't been so bad after all, as he managed to pass the time quite well despite having to endure the yearning to see Kagome, on a Tuesday and lacking an afternoon shift to occupy his mind. There were only two days until the next therapy session and he questioned himself if it was a good idea to keep going to them, as this situation with Kagome put many things in perspective for him. Maybe, it was a better idea to try and go on with his life as it was before meeting her. There were far worse things to suffer than a sex addiction.
However, just a brief calm was enough for his mind to be filled with images of Kagome, of her body, of her yearning, of her sighs. A part of him resisted the temptation of lucubrating those memories, yet the other was delighted to; the way he'd savoured her, the way she held back until failure and letting out her breath in a moan charged with sensuality. He inhaled deeply in the moment he felt his sex hardening before the memories, and took a hand to his crotch to calm that part of his body. Without thinking too much, he began to caress it, as his mind was immersed in the moment he entered her, and how Kagome looked at him in such a profound way it gave him the feeling she could read inside his being.
He let out his breath forcibly, and halted his caress, extending his arms on the bed, his skin incredibly sensible to the cold due to a simple memory.
Why? A fair question. Kagome was beautiful, pleasant and possessed a sparkling intelligence which made him feel comfortable; however, she wasn't the only person he'd met with those same characteristics.
Yes, maybe he should stop going to the sessions, or maybe he should take some fresh air. The afternoon's cold would do him well.
He sat on the bed, an epiphany jolting him up. Yes, maybe he should go out there and look for a tryst, get all tangled up and the go back to his apartment and wait to see how he'd feel in the morning. Yes, he would do that, and stop thinking about Kagome, and if she were to choose not to appear this Thursday's session, he'd go to her apartment to ask for his phone, and this short story would end. He stood up with conviction and began to dress up.
However, InuYasha had the sensation of skipping some sort of norm in the whole process, as if some part wasn't a fit to his idea. Despite it, he continued onward, not wanting to question his actions too much, ignoring his conscience so that it didn't interfere with his febrile idea of salvation. He took the keys he usually left on the small table by the door, put his shoes on and went out, decided to break that cycle of useless thoughts which had plagued him for two days now.
Kagome left his work that day, and for the first time in a long time, she did so without having a clear destination in mind. It had been a day of arduous work, which had served her to keep her thoughts and memories in line. Right now, she could go back to his apartment, read a bit of the book she had by her futon, or sleep. She could also take a stroll through a place frequented by youths, as she used to do a month ago, and maybe take with her someone interesting. However, that plan wasn't tempting her at all, with no desire to explore the reason for that either, maybe she was just in a moment of her cycle in which men were irrelevant to her. There was another possibility, but she didn't want to think about it.
She'd go for a coffee, that could probably clear her mind and relativize her ideas and her way of seeing things. Who knows? Maybe she'd find someone interesting.
Yes, I'll do that. She told herself, taking a step with new intent.
In that moment a phone inside her purse began to ring, and contrary to how her mind should work, the first phone she thought about was InuYasha's. Her lips thinned, annoyed at the way in which her head's gears were turning, centered around what happened that Sunday's night, the damn phone not allowing her to forget it. At some point the battery should ran out, right?
She looked inside her purse and found a call from Kōga, it was the third that day and she could understand the why of the insistence. The previous day he expected to see her and it was the first time Kagome sent someone else to his study, since they saw each other for encounters beyond what was purely professional. She sighed, knowing Kōga wasn't one to let things pass. One of the reasons she could achieve the orgasms she had with him.
Before this thought, she stopped for an instant. If with Kōga she had a good time, why did she consider her time with InuYasha so different she considered it incredible?
"Yes, hi Kōga." She tried to sound as relaxed as possible, despite her thought, after all they only had sex from time to time, it wasn't like they owed something to each other.
"What happened?" He wasn't someone to loiter around a topic.
"Why? Did you run into some problems with Ayame? She brought what was needed, Didn't she?" She almost laughed when imagining Kōga's face.
"C'mon, Kagome. You know what I mean. If you don't want to come anymore, just say it." He was asking of her to clarify something she couldn't, for which she took an instant to find the words with the least chance of hurting him, as even if their relationship was superficial, she didn't think it right.
"I'm busy with something these days, I'll call you next week." If by then I've managed to get InuYasha out of my head.
The last part was something that only sounded in her mind. She waited a moment for an answer, it seemed that Kōga was considering his next words. Kagome pondered the action of stopping seeing him, as she couldn't deny she held some affection for him, although nothing she couldn't let go of.
"Alright, but I won't be waiting for you." He warned her. She knew he meant they never agreed to be exclusive in their relationship.
"I understand that's what we've always done." She smiled at the end of her reply in a way Kōga could notice. She heard him smile in return.
"You are a seductress, you know it." He sentenced on the other side of the line. Kagome wasn't quite sure about that; however, she knew how to play her cards with her friend.
Why can't I do the same with InuYasha? She felt frustrated.
"I'll keep in touch." His voice seemed calmer on the other side. Sometimes Kagome asked herself if these fits of possessiveness weren't more than just genuine worry from one person to another.
She cut the call and was left pondering about that relationship she had with this friend with benefits. She would probably call him as well if he were to disappear for days.
She put the phone back in her purse, and looked at InuYasha's once again. After those messages from that woman called Kaguya, it didn't receive anything more, aside from some app notifications. Her mind, as it was prone to do lately, thought the reason was because they had already met each other and that's why the woman wasn't trying to reach him anymore. She wasn't going to deny that the imagery installed a strong sensation of unease in her stomach. Maybe, and after all, she was truly just his Thursday's girl.
She took a deep breath and let the air out with force, in order to also expulse all of her anger. She could always just go to InuYasha's apartment and solve her doubts. Would he be alone on a Tuesday's night?
Then she recalled the place he took her that night, the place he worked at. Maybe he also worked there on a Tuesday's night.
She huffed and decided to go someplace else to pass the time and try to get InuYasha out of her head. Her mind recalled a place she hadn't been to in a long time, thinking that maybe it could still be open on a Tuesday at six; She had only been there a few weekends, but it had left a lasting impression on her, as she met two boys while inside, yet the third time she went it wasn't as comfortable due to meeting one of them, with who she never thought of seeing again, and the boy was only short of calling her a whore for not doing so.
On her way she stopped to look something at a shopfront, she hadn't seen that shop before, so it was probably new. There was a line of minerals in exposition and some artisanal items made with beads of those same minerals. She stared at a few earrings made with a blue stone, streaked of green, a more intense blue, and she could even say there was a streak of an ocher color; she liked it a lot. She wasn't much into wearing earrings, but she didn't discard the possibility of there being a pendant made with the same stone. She descried a bit more the exposed pieces and fell in love with a collar that seemed almost tribal; it was composed by very dark beads with white carves in between, shaped like fangs. Her mind immediately made a connection with InuYasha, what's more, she clearly had the image of him, with his long hair, and that sort of rosary surrounding his neck. The vision was unsettling, wild, and that made her want that necklace for him, even if she were to never deliver it.
"So dumb." She voiced out loud and waited an instant, to see if her whim dissipated, however she met no success, and decided to enter the shop.
InuYasha had been at that coffee shop for a while now, and as he lacked a phone, he put the book he had been reading before in this jacket's pocket, and was now dedicating it some of his time. The place was a coffeeshop and bar in which they played jazz, and on weekends some unknown yet talented bands would put on a show, to which he'd had the opportunity of listening once or twice before starting his shift. The music today was a record, yet it was pleasant nonetheless, and the rain outside only added to the atmosphere settling on the night. There was almost no coffee left on his cup, and he was pondering if to ask for another or something different, for he didn't want to return home. He lifted his gaze from the book's pages when the door opened and was able to see two boys entering. It was a kind of mania he had, for it was incredibly hard for him not to look when someone came in; sometimes he wondered how many manias he actually had.
He stared at the street through the window, the rain was creating some beautiful reflections on the asphalt thanks to the illuminated signs from shops and places of entertainment, showing a nostalgic autumn impression. It was probable he'd have to get wet on his way home, yet he didn't care about it too much.
His gaze returned to the book and he finished the one gulp of coffee inside his cup. He managed to read a couple of lines when the door opened again, causing him to throw it a glance. The way in which his heart bounced inside his chest was so evident he had to start breathing through his mouth to get some air in. Kagome was there, crossing the door and shaking the raindrops off her clothes. He took a deep breath, as he saw her walking towards the main bar, completely ignorant to his presence. She was wearing that black flowered dress he had almost ripped off her in one of their trysts, and the mere memory was stealing the little calm left he had managed to keep. He looked at the book again, although not to read but rather to seek a way to find quiet between its lines.
Could it be a coincidence? Maybe Kagome was waiting for someone? Maybe she was going to meet her Tuesday's boy?
Why did he feel so uneasy?
He laughed at himself before the maelstrom of thoughts inside his head.
He lifted his gaze, just a tad, without changing his posture as to not attract attention to himself. The place wasn't too big, however, he was in a good place to hide, with barely any light aside from the one directly descending on the center of the table, and in a corner behind a wide brick column. Kagome was still practically facing away from him, with her hair free and wet, skimming through the place a bit. InuYasha began to shuffle the idea of going to her and simply start a conversation. He never managed to ponder whether it was a good idea or not, before being on his way, prey to his own incoherence.
He closed the distance with subtlety, moving at all times outside of Kagome's vision. He was sure of wanting to get near, however he wasn't able to get rid of that sensation of vulnerability which boarded him when it was her it concerned. It was absurd, he knew it, he felt like a restless teenager... and didn't want to finish that reasoning. He took a deep breath once he was about two meters away from Kagome, and hurried his steps once he noticed her intention of turning towards him.
"Did your date for Tuesdays fail you?" He asked her, once he reached the part of the bar right behind her.
Kagome turned around, surprised of hearing that tone of voice which was not only familiar, but that it had a name attached to in her mind. She looked at his eyes directly, and they produced inside her all of those things they usually created: surprise, joy, yearning, and a deep heat throughout her body, which reached even the medulla of her bones.
"InuYasha." She managed to say, with more tenderness that she could allow herself.
"That's me." The drawing of a smile in his features was soft and close.
To be continued.
A/N
There I leave you another chapter, I hope you like it.
Thank you for reading and keeping me company.
Kisses,
Anyara.
This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart
