Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don´t own any of these 3. If I did there´d be happier Addeks out there.
A/N: So, this little ficlet has been written for ga500. It´s both, Addex and Addek. Please read and review! Reviews are my drug, keep them coming.
- Kissing Too Close To The Abyss -
I was zipping my black skirt while trying to smooth down my hair. He didn´t seem to care that I was trying very hard to look normal and casual again. I´ve just had sex and he was still planting kisses on my back. Soft and wet kisses. And he was forming circles with his thumb on my right arm. It´d been like that for weeks. We were working together and we had sex. Occasionally. Great and angry sex. We were both so angry. Angry and broken. And the sex was great. It helped us get over the remains of what had once been or the prospect of what could have been. We didn´t need to talk. There was nothing we could have said. There was no love, there was just lust. There were no decisions that needed to be made. It was just sex. And it would be.
I was putting on my heels. He was still kissing me. But he´d moved higher, up to my left shoulder. I was tilting my head one last time to let his tongue caress my skin before I had to stand up and leave. After all I was still a surgeon and I had patients to look after. I was slowly standing up while his hand followed my lead to rest on my tigh. I was turning around and I was looking him in the eyes. I liked what I saw. Him. And me. No words. No apologies. No love.
I left the room.
As soon as I exited the room, I saw him. And he saw me. We locked eyes. She was standing there,too. But he was starring at me, starring me down. I knew that he knew. I knew from the way he looked at me. We´d always had the ability to communicate without words. I guess that´s how he´d known that I´d been cheating on him before he´d even entered the room. Or how I´d known he´d had sex with Meredith Grey the night of the prom. Or how we´d both had known that I hadn´t just left the hospital that night.
He was still starring at me. And I was still starring at him. But then Meredith asked him something and he took his eyes off of me. His deep blue eyes that he just knew how to use as deadly weapon so perfectly. He´d almost killed me. But I was still standing. I was walking close to the abyss, balancing myself on the edge of fragility. But I was still standing.
He was leading her away while stealing one last glance at me. I averted my eyes though, not allowing him to make me feel guilty. There was no need to feel guilty. I was angry and above all I was broken. And yet, I was still standing and I would continue to do so. Because I knew that whenever I got too close I´d have a place to go.
And we´d fuck each other, help us heal.
