Chapter XXXII
Thirty second session
"... among all the things I comprehended during my visit to that place, the one that moved me the most was to understand dignity is one of the sensations that most quickly pulls us closer to happiness..."
"What are you writing?"
Kagome lifted her gaze, with her thoughts still on the words she'd been laying down on her notebook. To see InuYasha with his golden eyes full of curiosity, as he held two paper cups of coffee, became something quite close to that happiness she'd been trying to describe, and so she attempted to disguise that emotion under a kind smile.
"Notes." She answered, closing the notebook and leaving it on the bench of that park they'd gone to visit, to then receive her cup of coffee.
She would always carry a notebook on herself to write down any idea that may come up, as every single one were being used in the story she'd been developing and perfectioning for a couple of years now. Sometimes, she thought that novel would never come out of her laptop, yet she had like a fetish with it.
"Can I know about what?" He followed up with another question, taking the place by her side on the wooden bench.
She had to think for a moment if to share or not with InuYasha that something she considered intimate, and that up until now had only belonged to her.
"A story." She accepted to explain. To say anything more felt like an impossible task, it'd be like opening a window to her soul, and she wasn't prepared for that.
"A story you're writing' or correcting?" She saw him drink from his cup, quite serene, holding a calm conversation, completely oblivious to the restlessness she felt before those questions.
Before them there was a lake on which some small pedal-boats were, and Kagome remained there, watching the view.
"A bit of both." She admitted, after all she was her own editor.
"Oh, and will you let me read it someday?" It was strange to notice that little dot of hesitation that question left in her.
She thought about having mercy on him and say yes, that he could read it, yet the fear of exposing what she was doing, and that he may be able to read between lines, was far too much for her.
"Maybe." She attempted to dodge it in the best way possible.
"Oh, alright." He seemed to accept.
She perceived the way in which his beautiful golden eyes darkened slightly, and settled their attention on the boats circling on the water. She surprised herself noticing a light pinch inside her chest, as if the hand of conscience was clutching her heart. She didn't like to see even the smallest of shadows in his beautiful golden iris, which were like observing into the deep of the sun. She surprised herself even more when she thought that emotion she was now feeling was one of those things she liked to write down on her small notebook, and that was coming from her as something real, instead of an illusion. She extended her hand to reach one of his, catching his attention, making his gaze to focus for an instant in that caress.
She heard him sigh very slowly before talking.
"How is your hand?" Only in that moment she remembered her little accident in InuYasha's kitchen a few hours ago. She looked at it, and realized it was the same hand she had just used to reach out to him.
"Amazingly well." It was true, her hand was like she never suffered an injury, as if it never became a shade redder, threatening her with a blister.
She heard him smile.
"I told you my mother's ointment could make miracles." He touched her hand, taking care of not making contact with the hurt zone.
"Thank her for me when you can." She wanted to be sweet, and ended up being far more kind than she expected, finally bringing out that honest shine in his sunny eyes.
"Talking about that. I have to go see her in a few days, want to come with me?" He sounded timidly hopeful.
Crap. She thought. The situation was getting out of hands, what was she supposed to answer?
"Of course." She didn't want to let that light she just saw, be snuffed out, nor did she wish to feel as if she were taking away his happiness. On the opposite, she found herself wanting to grant him more doses of it.
"Alright!" He didn't keep his satisfaction to himself, and leaned against her to touch her mouth with his.
She became completely aware of how that gesture took away her breath, physically and emotionally, and it was then that her mind warned her: He doesn't know you.
There it was, her greatest fear. If InuYasha were to finally see her for who she was, he'd realize that everything he'd seen until then was but a facade. Despite that, she held his features from both sides, as he began to take some distance with a smile, and kissed him with more intensity than what he had placed in his own expression of affection.
"If you feel like it, there are some public bathrooms nearby." He whispered to her with a smile, as soon as she let him talk.
"Idiot." She laughed while saying it.
One more day. She thought. Maybe, if she chose to live one day at a time, her heart wouldn't break so hard.
"Will you be mine all day?" He voiced the question, settling down on the bench facing the lake.
"Did you just use the possessive pronoun in your question?" She attempted to mask that sensation of belonging that surged in her when she heard him.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Writer." The apology came with a thick dose of sarcasm.
She drank a bit more of the paper cup of coffee he'd brought, then smiled.
"With writer is enough." She teased a bit more, playing along, to feel less pressured by herself in this that they were attempting.
She heard him let out a hearty laugh, happy, resounding, probably freed by having the whole place to themselves.
"I have my whole day for you." She encouraged herself to answer.
She could see the way in which he looked at her, as his laugh became a smile, and then his features relaxed into kindness.
"I'm glad, I want to take you to a place." He stood up, and extended his hand in an invitation.
The notebook was placed inside the purse, which then hung from the shoulder with the same parsimony that her mother's education had planted in her. The, she touched InuYasha's extended fingers with her own, as if poking them to know if they were real, and were there, waiting for her. She had a hard time realizing that in her mind a question as beginning to take form, exciting her and scaring her at the same time. Was this what it is like to be in love?
No, this was something else, she had already fallen in love, once. Or so she believed.
She took a deep breath, seeking fortitude to follow InuYasha's steps and her own heart.
Shortly after they started walking, she began to feel a certain calm and inner warmth, despite the cold. She stole a glance at the people strolling through the park, the couples, families, and those who were just jogging or practicing some sport. Her mind related a couple of ideas, and her question came out without filter.
"You've come for a run here?" She looked at her side.
"It's a good place to oxygenate oneself." She accepted.
"If I've known..."
"Where would you have taken me?" The question was pertinent, and she understood she had no answer.
"I don't know." She felt overwhelmed by not being able to make his moment as perfect as she'd have wanted. Even more, given that it was the way for her to apologize. Her constant need of controlling everything was starting to eat at her mind like a tiny devil.
"Relax, this looks quite different when you walk instead." She saw him lean towards her slightly. "It's more enjoyable."
She observed him for an instant, and although that little devil was still there, she felt like she could stop listening to it for a while.
It felt strange to him to finally be able to spend a simple day beside Kagome. After waking up in the morning, after a day he could only categorize as crap, she appeared by his door, waiting for him with an apology in the form of creamy buns. She had more or less prepared him coffee, albeit she burnt her hand in the process, and next she invited him to spend the day outside. After that they went to the park he'd gone to run to early that same day, although it didn't matter to him if they were to just sit at the stairs of some train station to watch people pass by, if that were to be in Kagome's company. It was clear to him that his feelings for her were already overflowing, and he also knew that such a thing meant he needed to overcome his fears with every passing moment.
"We are here." He mentioned when they found the door to the place he brought her to.
"A museum?" The way in which she looked at the entrance's plaque didn't show annoyance, but maybe curiosity, and that encouraged him.
"Let's enter." He didn't let go of her hand the whole way. He wanted to feel her as close as possible.
Hearing her nod, he noticed how she was following without the tension she showed at the beginning. It was strange to feel himself getting to know her despite the time they'd been sleeping with each other.
Shortly after, they found the place to enter, and paid their ticket. Little by little they began to explore the place, as InuYasha's gaze kept watching all expression Kagome showed with what she was seeing. He followed her figure as she got close to a door, that like previous ones, had a crystal side that framed a beautiful stained glass that followed the theme of the museum. He had the urge to bring out his phone and capture the image of her touching, delicately, the lines on the crystal, yet he held himself back as to not break the moment. Not long after, after roaming around the place and catch glimpses of the numberless figures and recreations inside it, about characters related to the study founding the museum, they decided it was time to leave and seek a place to eat something. He thought about offering his own kitchen to prepare food in his apartment, however he was enjoying this time outside those four walls.
"Come. Let's take something with us before leaving." He walked towards a souvenir shop, which was plagued by stuffed toys of all sizes, keychains, notebooks, cups, pillows...
He began to explore the place, trying to steal glances at Kagome as subtly as possible, to know if there was something that may caught her eye. Among all the things she found a notebook, whose cover was softly traced by her fingers. He got close, and looked at the figure protruding from the cover.
"Mononoke Hime. It fits you; a girl half rebel, half wild." He took the notebook from her hands and went with it to the checkout.
"Hey!" He heard the complaint behind him.
They stood there, one beside the other, in front of the counter as the salesgirl processed the payment.
"You don't have to buy me anything." She found strange that distrustful tone in her voice.
"It's true. I don't have to. I want to." He cleared up, and by the way he heard her breathing it almost seemed as she had inflated her cheeks, and had to look at her to check she had only thinned her lips slightly.
The salesgirl brought their purchase in a paper back with the museum's logo drawn on one side, she thanked them, to which he answered with a polite gesture.
"Then I'll also get you something." He heard Kagome by his side, and saw her extend her hand and pick a keychain, then delivered it to the same woman form before, who kept a soft and neutral smile before their situation.
He waited for her to finish the transaction, and once they were outside the shop, he handed her the paper bag containing the notebook. In exchange he received the envelope with the keychain. When looking at it, a certain sensation of satisfaction appeared in his smile, he didn't care about the object itself really, he just liked to feel they were sharing something that was beginning to take shape for him.
"And, why this llama?" He asked. The image of a fire with eyes came to his mind, yet he could recall the title of that movie.
"Calcifer is fire, and you can cook with it." She seemed to answer with more desire of finding conviction in her own words, rather than having it to begin with.
"I see you've just labeled me as the cook." He looked at her, his smile wider.
He enjoyed the view of Kagome's cheek flushing when she couldn't find the right words to answer something, when the control of the situation escaped her.
"Oh, shut up!" She reached out to him and took a good handful of his hair to pull him to her, and hit him with a kiss.
The surprise didn't allow him to close his eyes immediately, although once the instant was passed, he not only closed them, but also surrounded her waist and allowed her to think she had control over the kiss.
Someone cleared his throat when passing by them, and in that moment, he pulled away, accepting that the kiss had to continue someplace else, with some more privacy.
It was becoming one of his nightly pleasures to watch Kagome as she slept. Usually, she would fight to not be the first to fall asleep, probably because of one of her own issues she had with control, however today they walked around a lot, and even she accompanied him to work, where she waited until he got off. She had literally dedicated her day to him.
He felt thankful for the memories they made today. He hadn't been aware of how much he needed the moments they'd shared until today; now he felt complete. He reached out to graze her cheek, yet halted his movement right before the contact as to not wake her up, he found out it was better to just contemplate her and listen to her soft breathing coming out of her mouth as she rested. He laughed when, as they came back to the apartment, she asked dibs on the first turn for the shower, and, that way, get rid of the exhaustion from the day. However, said exhaustion had beaten her anyway, and began to fall asleep while he was braiding his hair. That way it didn't took her long to close her eyes and let the dreams take over.
Right now, she laid sideways towards him, and he could observe her with complete calm. He liked that sweet sensation of purity that filled him when Kagome was at the mercy of her rest, it was as if he could see her, really see her, as if in those instants, the dreams were able to expose her bare, allowing him to enjoy her serene semblant.
He felt how his eyes began to close as well, and although he knew it wasn't a bad idea to finally rest, he was having a hard time giving up that chance of remaining a moment longer amidst that enchantment that filled him just by watching her. He saw her inhale deeply and thought that maybe she'd open her eyes, however it didn't happen, and once she exhaled her breath as if seeking release, she curled up in a pseudo fetal position. The gesture managed to make that deep feeling of protection to surge up inside him, which he'd been experiencing for a while now, and so he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder blade, as to pull closer. Despite the small details they shared today, he had to admit it caught him by surprise how Kagome was the one to seek his warmth, surrounding his waist with an arm, then breathe on his chest, still asleep.
He became fully aware of the way in which the heart could warm up, just by love, to the point of almost bursting.
To be continued.
A/N
I love how they are starting to become close, and to feel them so sweetly in love.
I love the InuKag in this story.
Kisses, and thank you for keeping me company,
Anyara.
This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart
