IZON SHŌ
Chapter XXXIX
Thirty ninth session
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Frustration is an emotion that's hard to handle; it grows and swells by itself the more you feel it, the more you think about it, and that's how InuYasha was feeling as they made their way towards Kagome's home, with her grandfather leading that little group.
Just a few minutes was all I needed. He complained silently, helping himself of the long sleeves of the red kosode he was wearing to cover the erection still pulsing underneath his pants.
"I'm sorry." Kagome muttered. InuYasha looked at her, not knowing what to say.
"What do you think about the temple, boy?" Her grandfather interrupted that attempt at a verbal exchange.
"Oh, well. It's big, and well-organized." He answered, thinking the man would appreciate it, given he'd dedicated his life to the place.
"I see." The man said, walking ahead of them with his hands joined behind his back. "Did you find something interesting at the pagoda's well?" He glanced back, over his shoulder.
And so, inevitably, InuYasha recalled the situation of a few minutes ago. Kagome was kneeling in front of him, taking his member in her mouth, moistening it as her tongue caressed the length together with her lips. The sensation was incredibly intense, maybe because of the place, or the previous tension of being inside her family's home. In any case, his body was demanding release, and Kagome was provoking it masterfully. A hand helped him stay standing against the pagoda's wall, while the other held her head, his fingers intertwining with her dark strands of hair, hearing himself repeating her name, his sex hardening painfully, on the edge, noticing in the lower part of his belly that tingling preceding ejaculation. However, right in that moment and just a short distance away, they heard the voice of the old man calling her, and Kagome reacted by placing both her hands on his hips and pushing herself away. He pleaded a don't, but far from being heeded, she fixed her garments and told him to do the same.
After that, both of them came out of the pagoda, Kagome first, buying him some time.
Back to the present, InuYasha thought he couldn't tell the old man that the best part of the pagoda was the intimacy it had provided to them for a short while.
"It is an interesting place." If only he'd given him a minute or two, though... "Is it there some history behind it?"
"Didn't my granddaughter tell you?" This time the man stopped, and turned sideways towards them, looking at Kagome, who became stiff under his gaze.
"She was going to, we'd just come in." InuYasha tried to lighten the mood. "It must be a really interesting history."
The man stared at them some more, at one, then the other, before continuing on his way.
"It is made of wood of the sacred tree, and the legend says the bodies of the youkais that once attacked the villagesused to be thrown in there, and that inside they would disappear, which is why it's called the bone-eater well." He explained.
"It's a fascinating legend." InuYasha voiced.
"Like many others about the temple and the surrounding forest. If you keep coming, I'll tell you more of them." The man was leaving an open invitation, and InuYasha felt a bit content because of it, yet when he tried to share a knowing look with Kagome, he found nothing.
Once they reached their home, her grandfather opened the door and went in first. The scent of food reached him almost immediately, and InuYasha got a good guess about what was being cooked.
"Maybe you'd like to change." Kagome told him, as soon as they reached the hallway.
"That'd be nice." He accepted.
"Grandpa, we are going up for a moment." She explained.
"Of course, of course." The man's tone was carefree. "Don't take too long though, or I'll go up after you."
Kagome immediately felt her cheeks heating up, knowing it wouldn't take a detective to see it. Not daring to answer, she turned around and gesture InuYasha to follow. Once upstairs and in her room, she gathered her clothes and started towards another room to change.
"We are leaving now, right?" She heard him ask, freezing her on the spot.
"Didn't I say we were going to eat here?" She inquired, feeling the world falling over her.
As always, that same sensation of insecurity possessed her when it came to taking decisions inside the walls of this house. Even now, living alone and paying her own expenses, everything seemed to depend on the approval of those she cared about. And now, InuYasha was there too.
"I'm not sure you ever mentioned it." His gaze was untarnished by lies, just like he seemed to be with everything. For that same reason, she knew he wasn't liking the idea.
Crap.
"I can try to excuse us, or excuse you." She pondered out loud.
InuYasha looked at her, her gaze lost on a dot somewhere in the room, and could recognize the anxiety she was feeling, that moment when she would start to raise barriers to isolate herself from everyone and from him. He got closer, not wanting her far away, and took her by the shoulders to call her attention back.
"Kagome, do you want to stay?" The question was simple, yet in her eyes many, too many choices and ends were dancing back and forth.
"I don't know." The words made her aware of her own honesty, and of how vulnerable she'd made herself with those three words.
"It's not a problem." He attempted to ease her burden. In that moment, a thought made its way inside his mind: every single of Kagome's walls had been built here. It wasn't easy for him to measure such a thing, given that his own family situation had never been difficult, yet he could understand it. "We'll stay, eat, then leave together."
He felt the way in which Kagome took a deep breath, her eyes fixed on him, and he also noted how they began to shine, covered by tears she was trying to hold back with all her might. Next, came a fleeting kiss, one meant as thanks, then she turned around, starting out of the room, and although tenderness was all that filled him at that moment, his wish was to inspire her strength.
"That's not what I want you to do with your mouth." He voiced. Kagome turned around, her eyes wide open, then her gaze turned predatory like when she took the reins of something.
"We'll talk later, you and me. Or not." She muttered, leaving a pleasant threat hanging in the air, then exited the room.
InuYasha took a deep, deep breath. He'd wished to know her better and share her world, didn't he? And so, the universe gave it to him, didn't it?
Be careful with what you wish, it could come true yet not in the way you want. He thought.
Laughing at himself, he began to take off the garments that had kept him company the last few hours. When Kagome returned to the room, she was already wearing the same clothes with which she had arrived; a dress with semi-transparent tights. It could become quite cold outside, and albeit it wasn't something to worry about, he realized he'd never seen her wearing pants.
"Won't you be cold on the way back?" They had to walk for a good while.
"My jacket is in the other room; I'll wear it when it's time to go." She answered.
"I asked because of your legs. You never use pants." He tried to explain himself better.
Kagome remained silent for an instant before replying. "I'll be fine." She smiled, then turned towards the stairs.
InuYasha followed her and tried to appear as relaxed as he could, yet the stairs seemed to be creaking under his steps the same way his nerves were. When they entered the kitchen, they found her grandfather skimming through a newspaper, but her brother was nowhere to be seen. InuYasha thought of his own mother, and tried to remind himself that the woman that was placing plates on the table was also a mother; maybe that would help him handle the pressure.
"It smells so good!" Kagome expressed, getting close to the woman.
"We should eat in the other room." Her mother replied.
"No, mom, this one is fine, InuYasha is very familiar with the kitchen, he is a cook." Kagome glanced his way, as if seeking some support for her words.
"The kitchen is perfect." He voiced, taking a step further inside. "It's that gyoza?" He gestured to the dumplings resting in a bowl, of which he could see a part of.
"That's right. I filled them with meat and vegetables, but Kagome doesn't like meat much." The woman mentioned, as she placed the pan on the kitchen's fire.
"That's how it is." He interrupted himself then, being on the verge of saying he usually cooked vegetarian food for her. The mother stared at him, as if waiting for him to finish what he started with so much enthusiasm. "... my mother used to make them at home."
He went off on a tangent, somehow.
"For we, mothers, it is the go-to food when in need." The woman agreed.
"Indeed. It can be made in advance and that's comfortable." He kept the conversation going, using his understanding of the times needed to prepare each ingredient, aside from knowing what could be previously preserved.
"That's right." Kagome's mother agreed again. "How did you two meet?"
An absolute silence followed, and even her grandfather stopped turning the pages of the newspaper.
"We just happened upon a place, and talked." Was the vague answer Kagome gave, so vague InuYasha was at a loss as to how to follow up on that.
"And... classmates from cooking class?" The mother continued, placing the gyoza, one by one, on the pan to fry.
"Well, yes, you know, I'm not good at cooking and I thought..." Kagome looked at him, then at her mother, then at him again. "... we are going out."
"You thought you were going out? I don't get it." The mother's gaze darted from one to the other, first to Kagome, then InuYasha, noting how their eyes met and held there, creating a separate world for themselves which others could never reach. "Now I get it."
"Time to eat?" Souta asked from the door.
Just a moment later, they all sat at the table without anyone speaking a word of what Kagome had just confessed, the lunch proceeding without a hitch. Souta talked about his plans of going to the house of one of his classmates to finish some homework they had to turn in next week, yet Kagome suspected it was all just an excuse to go out with someone, probably a girl. Her mother seemed to be of the same mind, and then her grandfather cut in asking for more miso, which InuYasha pushed near the elderly man, and Kagome served.
"Tell us, InuYasha, do you like your job?" The mother asked.
He pondered the answer, yet he began nodding even before answering.
"Most of the time, although every now and then the working hours become a bit too much, but it's nonetheless a pleasant job." He replied.
"And, has Kagome learnt to cook a bit?" She continued.
InuYasha held his answer for an instant, in case Kagome wanted to say something first, yet to recover from his surprise caused by the sudden confession about their relationship. He thought of something to say, yet it seemed to him not a good idea to talk about the way she was learning to prepare tamagoyaki for breakfast.
"She is a great taster." He began, and Kagome looked at him, her restlessness not so easily hidden. "I always try to give her something different when she comes for dinner to my workplace, and she voices her opinion."
"I see." The mother smiled at him. "And Kagome, how is your work? Everything alright?" Kagome took a breath to answer. "By the way, Ayumi came by and told me she misses you. Her mother's health is better now, and the girl really wanted to see you."
It didn't go unnoticed to InuYasha the whole of the situation, for there was something control-hungry in the way the mother spoke to her.
"I'll call her when I have the time." Kagome answered, as if no cause for conflict were in what had just happened.
"InuYasha." It was her grandfather who spoke now. He turned towards him, lending him his undistracted attention, maybe as a way to give example of how to conduct a respectful conversation. "Are you from Tokyo?
He shook his head. "I'm actually from Nakano, in Nagano." He explained.
"Oh, I know the place, they have a Buddhist temple." The man nodded. "I visited it many years ago, it was impressive. Is it still standing?"
"Of course, it receives many visitors, even more during summer." He felt motivated with what seemed a good conversation.
"It snows heavily during winter there." The elderly man continued, and Kagome felt relieved by the chance of talking about something normal.
"It does, and it's quite the show, although my mother always complains about how it stacks right outside home and the shop she runs." He explained.
"She runs a shop?" The elderly man asked, which caused Kagome to feel absurd when she realized it had never crossed her mind to find out about that.
"That's right, a flower shop, or mainly a flower shop, she sells some other things, food and the like, but flowers more than anything." He told.
Kagome's chest opened up all of a sudden, as if a radiant light were making its way through her skin, and the bones protecting her heart, and for a moment she allowed herself to reason that in such a place, the soul didn't reside, yet if there was a way...
InuYasha looked at her then, his eyes trying to convey a feeling she couldn't quite recognize, maybe because she actually didn't know it, and was new to her.
The rest of the lunch went on smoothly. Her mother spoke about some of the temple matters, and her grandfather reminded her she needed to come back during some of the next days in order to prepare more amulets. In his mind, she had the duty to learn.
Later on, when they were leaving, not long after they finished eating, her mother said goodbye to her at the door, InuYasha a few meters away from them.
"No." She said to her ear as she embraced her. Kagome had to take an instant to actually understand what she was talking about.
"Why?" Was the logical question in front of that word, said softly yet carrying something so negative it hurt her beneath the skin.
"He's not for you, it's quite obvious he has way too much experience." Was her argument, which left her dumbfounded for a moment, overwhelmed by how much she was being idealized, and how little did her mother actually know. How could she answer without creating discord, and distance, between them?
"Grandpa seems to like him." She tried to step on the edges of the situation, seeking a way through which a different view could get in.
"Grandpa is old." The woman objected, turning the argument invalid.
"Mom." She felt weak, maybe even offended by the little value her mother gave to the opinion of the family's patriarch.
She still couldn't understand how obsolete was such a thought.
"The best would be for you to not bring him again." Came the low-blow, and her chest burned from the stacking emotions suddenly held inside.
She took a deep breath, and thought about turning around without saying anything, in fact she did, yet turned back right after, her eyes fixed on her mother's. She didn't want to grow distant with her, yet the harmony that entailed, came always by the hand of the disposal of what she herself desired. Her mother loved her, she could feel it so, and that limited her, compelled her, more than anything because love shouldn't oppress.
She looked at InuYasha, felt that warmth coming from the way in which he stood by her side. Their points of view were firm, solid, without ever ceasing being kind. He would constantly show her that warmth, and even though she received it with a potent sensation of vertigo, she recognized it as warmth, and she enjoyed it.
Her gaze went back to her mother.
"I have to go." Right now, she was too divided and too tired to deal with her mother's demands, watching how the brown chestnut eyes she inherited, filled with experiences she could not even begin to guess, looked at her with uncertainty.
"What about Hojō?" She brought up, as if it mattered, and Kagome fought with herself as to not feel disappointed at that simplicity.
"What about him?" She asked, giving herself time, and maybe her mother too, so that she could correct herself. Her gaze went back to InuYasha, with his hands in his pockets in that pose of his, his hair waving thanks to the fresh air.
"He has a good job, is kind and sweet." She insisted. "And he likes you."
She focused on the woman in front of her, noting the gray hair tracing some of her strands, and carefully considered her next words with as much calm as she could muster.
"But I don't like him." It was a certainty, something she knew her mother wouldn't understand. She felt sadness inside her chest, yet it was contrasted by that other feeling, almost overwhelming when she realized this had been precisely the instant in which she came to know she was in love with InuYasha.
She kissed her mother on the cheek. She also loved her.
And then her steps took her towards the man who was waiting for her. InuYasha looked at her, and she couldn't help feeling the clutch of fear grabbing her heart, yet right there, her desire to be with him won over the fear of losing him when he inevitably found out what was hidden beneath the many layers composing her.
They started towards the torii gate pointing at the exit, and left the place behind soon after. InuYasha practically breathed as if it was the first breath he'd taken in hours, filling his lungs with the eagerness of someone who has only inhaled but mouthfuls of air. That was his sensation when he descended the last step of that long stairway connecting the temple with the rest of the world. He literally sighed, and only in that moment he came to realize the pressure he'd been under. Kagome looked at him with a smile.
"Everything alright?" She asked, as they went on their way.
He observed him for an instant, and comprehended she had overcome an important barrier today. It wasn't a lowered barrier, but rather one she'd broken from inside so that it ceased to exist.
"Everything alright." He agreed.
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To be continued.
A/N
Well, almost all pieces are together now, but there are still some steps left, daily details that creates them as a couple.
I hope you've enjoyed it, and that you tell me in the comments.
Kisses!
Anyara.
This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart
