In the End
Chapter Four
Author's Note: Sawyer's flashbacks take place after he mistakenly murdered the shrimp guy in .
Disclaimer: October Sky was written by Homer Hickman. As much as I wish I was that creative, I didn't come up with the awesome name for my favorite month.
Chapter Four:
Sawyer sat by himself at the fire that night. A few hours ago Sayid, Alex, and Jack had returned with water and food, and Sawyer grabbed some early, making sure Jack didn't see him. Of course, this meant that he finished eating earlier, meaning he'd get hungry again quick. But Sawyer decided to just deal with it. What was a stomachache compared to what could possibly be..death?
4 months ago
It was like the key was refusing to fit into the lock. Sawyer let out a groan of frustration as he tried to unlock the hotel room for the fourth time. As if someone were watching him, just waiting to see how far he'd go before he reached the limit, the lock clicked just as he slammed his fist against the door. He threw open the door and entered the room quickly, as if he were running from something. Shivering, Sawyer closed the door and threw the key onto the bed.
So you got in okay?
Sawyer jumped at the Australian accent he didn't recognize. Turning around, Sawyer sighed in relief when he saw it was only a maid. She was a blonde, standing at maybe five two, slightly shorter than he was, with a bright smile.
Sawyer said, offering the maid a small smile that barely made it past a smirk, the maid said, pulling something from behind her back, here are some fresh towels. We don't put mints on the pillows, but I can snag you one from downstairs if you want. Sawyer said, slightly amused at the woman's perkiness against his depressed demeanor, but I've been here for a few days. said the maid, who began rolling back on her heals.
Sawyer couldn't help but to notice how the woman kept glancing at him from underneath some lose strands of hair.
the maid said again with a smile, nice to meet you. Hope you enjoy your stay.
He nodded though secretly Sawyer knew that the next few nights were going to be some of his worse. The maid smile once more as if she could sense that he needed it, and then left, closing the door behind her. Sawyer turned back to the bed and started shiver again. His hair was still soaking wet and his jacket was drenched. The denim of his blue jeans clung to Sawyer's legs, making every step he took feel like he was walking through water. At last he thought to take off his jacket, but just as he reached for the zipper his hand landed on the jacket's inner pocket where the gun still lay.
Frozen, Sawyer felt his mind lock. His hand tightened around the gun's handle and he pulled it out, feeling like someone or something was controlling him. Pulling out the gun, images of who he thought was the man who ruined his life came to mind, followed by images of himself aiming the gun at the man's heart, pulling the trigger. And in the end he had the wrong man. He had taken an innocent life with little effort. He hadn't even moved the body in fear of his fingerprints being found, but more importantly, fear of facing what he had done, and how it had been so easy for him.
Looking down at the gun, Sawyer began to shake. There were still a few bullets left, he knew, and he also knew that it'd only take one of them to end it. End it all. The gun stared up at Sawyer, as if it were calling him, telling him this was the answer. The easy way out. Life- or whether, death- really could be this easy, and here was his chance. He stared back at the gun, glaring at it, and made up his mind.
In one furious rush of motion, Sawyer rushed forward, threw open the balcony door, and lunged the gun over the railing and into the ocean below, the thought that someone may have seen that never crossing his mind.
a soft voice said from the next balcony over.
Sawyer's heart leapt, and he had to force himself to see who was talking to him. The occupant of the voice was young, like the maid, with light brown hair that fell well beyond her shoulders. Sawyer didn't reply, too nervous to say anything. This woman could be the person who would determine whether or not he'd spend the next part of his life in a cell or not. This wasn't the time to say the wrong thing.
I'm proud of you, the woman continued softly.
Now this was just getting weird. Here was a woman, another American at that, sitting in the pouring rain telling a man she had never met that she was proud of him.
The gun, she said, nodding towards the ocean, I know how hard it is.
Sawyer snorted.
You have no idea.But I do, the woman replied, standing up and walking towards Sawyer's side of the railing. My best friend died when I was sixteen. Drunk driver.
Sawyer glanced over at her curiously.
I was the driver, the woman finished quietly, and looked away.
Sawyer did as well. What were you suppose to say to a story like that?
You may think your doing the right thing, the woman went on, but your not- she breathed in deeply, sometimes you've just gotta stepped on the edge.
Glancing over again, Sawyer found himself anticipating the woman's advice. For the first time he felt like he was with someone that could understand him, understand how hard it was. Something landed on his nose, and Sawyer looked up. He had completely forgotten it was raining. Looking back down, the woman smiled at him.
m glad you stepped off, she finished.
She winked and then turned on her heals, and headed back into her room, closing the door quietly behind her. Sighing, Sawyer looked back down to the waters below, trying to make out his reflection. He couldn't. Sawyer looked back into the room the woman had walked into, which was now lighted brightly from a lamp. Smiling, Sawyer could picture her in her room now, probably reading- yeah, reading. Most likely some literature, he thought, Wuthering Heights or maybe something by Stephen King. She seemed to him like the type who could make that transition with ease.
Slapping his hand against the wet balcony, Sawyer pushed himself off, almost smiling at the possibility of seeing her again. m glad you stepped off . He opened the door to his room, stripping off his jacket and throwing it onto a nearby chair. His hand shook as he reached into his pocket, and pulled out his now soaked letter, and opened it quickly before he could change his mind. Sawyer set down on the edge of the bed, despite the fact that his jeans were still wet, and began to read..
Dear Mr. Sawyer..
For the first time, he was unable to get past the opening. Sawyer found himself wondering, was he really planning on changing for good? If he was, would he be able to? Or had he just made yet another mistake?
2004
There you are, said a voice from behind him, I've been looking for you.
Though he had only heard the voice once, Sawyer could've placed it as Rebecca's from a mile away. She offered herself a seat next to him, and reached into a kaki messenger back she was carrying.
You forgot something, she said softly, handing him a book.
Sawyer took it, glancing at Rebecca unsurely, and looked at the title: October Sky.
This is yours, Sawyer pointed out.
I thought you might like it, Rebecca explained, it's set in the south.
Sawyer raised an eyebrow, wondering if she was some kind of mind reader.
The accent, Rebecca said with a smile, I'm from Kentucky myself. You can't really tell though.Past through Kentucky once, Sawyer said, recalling a runaway incident from when he was sixteen.
He had then decided that there was no place for him but the south. Big cities gave him headaches.
Tennessee, right? Rebecca asked him.
Sawyer nodded, wondering once again how she knew that.
I had a friend from Tennessee once, Rebecca said, East Tennessee. Which part are you from? Sawyer muttered, now finding all the personal questions a bit annoying.
Knoxville it is, Rebecca said, smiling at her own little mind game.
Sawyer looked at her, incredulous. Did this woman ever stop?
Well anyway, Rebecca said, standing up and brushing the sand off of her pants, hope you enjoy the book.
She gave Sawyer a pat on the shoulder as she left, and Sawyer didn't even realize that he didn't want her to go until she was already gone. Sawyer turned back to the fire, and heaved a sigh as he opened the book to the first page..
Until I began to build and launch rockets, I didn't know my hometown was at war with itself..
A low rumbling coming from the direct of the jungle drew Sawyer's attention away from the book, as it did many others. He looked back behind him, and panicked when he didn't see Rebecca. The rumble started up again, and Sawyer turned back towards the jungle, watching as Jack stood up(he had been sitting with Sayid and Shannon; Sawyer snorted, wondering what Shannon had to think about that) and crept towards the sound. Sawyer glanced behind him again, and his heart began to race. The low rumble started up again and many others got to their feet, and frightened whispers of conversation stirred around him. Squinting to see, Sawyer noticed that someone was now running out of the jungle, and Sawyer watched as whoever it was began describing their story to Jack and Sayid..
A few yards away, a few minutes ago
Jack stared dully into the fire in front of him. He had taken up Sayid's offer to stay with him and Shannon, not wanting to have to sit alone and hear people talk about him. So instead he was condemned to Sayid's and Shannon's chatter, which, after a while, got down right annoying. Jack found himself jealous of their happiness, and was contemplating getting up and leaving, a low roar- no louder than a rumble- shook the ground around them. Jack stood as it started a second time, bracing himself for another attack. He could already see the ground splitting open in front of him, but instead of running from it, Jack inched closer.
Out of the corner of his eye Jack was sure he saw a figure run past a tree in the jungle, but he was sure he was just seeing things until the figure ran straight for him, breathing heavily and leaping over every tiny twig and rock. Jack couldn't put a name to the person until they reached them, and was surprised to see it was Boone. He realized that he hadn't seen Boone nor Locke all day, and wondered where they had been. Did they even know what was going on? Boone tried to say something, but was so out of breath he couldn't even make out a comprehendible syllable. Sayid handed Jack a bottle of water, who handed it to Boone, and after a few swallows was finally able to talk.
Locke's missing, Boone siad through a gasp of breath, we were out there and we heard that..thing..and..we were trying to get out of the jungle and he just disappeared!
Jack frowned at the story, which didn't make sense.
Jack repeated.
The jungle got to thick, Boone explained, I just now got out.
Jack wondered how long Boone had been running, and how it was that he and Locke appeared to have heard the monster maybe hours ago, and they were just hearing it now. It was just then that Jack noticed that Boone wasn't even talking to him, but Sayid. The two seemed to be having some kind of conversation with their eyes, and Jack began to get the feeling that they knew something he didn't.
I'll go find him, Jack said, grabbing his bag from the ground.
Sayid said, so quickly that Jack raised an eyebrow, I'll go. I know the ground better.It's night, Jack pointed out.
Sayid said.
Sayid picked up his own bag and gave Shannon a quick kiss goodbye. Jack noticed that Boone looked away, obviously feeling a bit awkward, and Jack felt bad for him. He knew too well how it felt to lose someone you loved to someone else.
What if something happens? Shannon said, a look of worry on her face.
Nothing will, a voice behind them promised, and the three turned to see that Alex had been listening in.
She looked directly at Jack.
Can I talk to you? She asked.
The tone of her voice hinted to Jack that whatever it was must be important. Jack finally nodded in agreement, and turned back to Sayid and Boone.
Be careful, he warned.
Don't worry, Sayid said, and gave Shannon's hand a squeeze before heading into the jungle.
Jack turned back to Alex, who led him over a good distance away from Shannon and everyone else for that matter.
I need you to help me, Alex said quietly, even though there was no possible way anyone could've overheard them.
Jack said.
He wondered if Alex had expected him to say anything else because she went quiet after that. It was obvious that asking for his help was something that she had been working up to all day, and Jack felt bad about not being able to help her get to that point.
I need you to come with me, Alex said, glancing around nervously, to the caves.
Jack raised an eyebrow in surprised.
he said hesitantly, not wanting to let the girl down, you know we can't.. Alex begged with pleading eyes.
Whatever's wrong I'm sure I can just help you here, Jack said.
You can't, Alex said, practically in tears now, please! Nothing will go wrong, I promise.
Jack looked around the beach at the different castaways and their little groups, all chatting and some already falling asleep. Sighing, Jack realized how alone he was, and realized that part of him wanted to go with Alex just for the company- he'd never get any sleep tonight anyway. But yet the other part of him knew that he shouldn't leave the others, and felt a little uneasy about being responsible for a teenager when whatever that thing was was still out there, and especially with it being night. He looked back at Alex and met her helpless eyes, which made him crumble in defeat.
he agreed with a sigh, let me tell Shannon where we're going.
Alex looked down to the ground quickly.
I'll tell her I left something, Jack offered.
Alex gave him a small smile of appreciation and followed him towards Shannon, who was now sitting alone by their fire, knees drawn to her chest, looking angry.
We're going back to the caves, Jack told her, I left something there.
Jack couldn't be sure if Shannon even knew what he had told her, but he didn't want to risk repeating himself and her starting a scene.
Did you tell your mom? Jack asked, turning to the jungle.
Alex replied, a little quickly.
Jack raised an eyebrow. It didn't take a psychic to know she was lying through her teeth.
Come on, she said, dragging him out into the jungle before he could protest.
Their trip through the jungle was easy enough, with no rumbles or roars, only an occasional stumble over a tree limb. When they reached the caves it seemed even more vacant before, like a ghost town. The emptiness of it sent shivers down Jack's spine. Alex brushed past him, heading for the waterfall.
Can you..go over there? She asked, pointing towards the other side of the caves.
Jack frowned but still obeyed. He walked over to the other side of the caves and sat down, enjoying his moment of rest.
All right, Alex said, taking a deep breath.
When Jack looked up he noticed that Alex's hair and face was wet. She had wiped all the makeup off and now Jack was looking at the real Alex, and a fair amount of bruising too. He was startled by her appearance, and wondered why he had led himself to believe that somehow it couldn't have been that bad. Once again Alex looked to be in tears, and Jack's eyes were full of sympathy as he stood and walked back over to her.
I didn't think the salt would mix well with the wounds, Alex explained in a whisper.
Jack didn't know what to say. As many patients as he had had before, he had never been as close on a personal-friendship level as Alex, and the effects were hitting him hard.
My head's been hurting all day, Alex told him, I've taking aspirin, Tylenol, everything. And then it started stinging and then- said Jack, taking a deep breath, slow down. It'll be fine.
Alex nodded as she caught her breath and let Jack sit her down on the concrete floor. A half an hour later Jack had given Alex's head a full examination.
So no concussion? Alex said hopefully.
No concussion, Jack confirmed.
Alex smiled as Jack gently let go of her head.
There could've been though, Jack said.
Alex looked down to avoid Jack's eyes.
You really should've told me, Jack said.
I know, Alex said quietly, it was just..embarrasing.
Jack looked at her sympathetically and then looked down to the ground before throwing his leg over the rock and standing up.
We should head back, Jack said, looking around the caves one last time.
Alex began, I was kind of thinking..can we stay here for the night? Jack said, surprised.
It's late and dark and..That didn't matter before, Jack said.
Alex didn't reply, and once again, her sad expression got the best of Jack's guilt.
I guess it wouldn't hurt, Jack sighed, it'll be morning in a few hours anyway.
Alex gave him a small smile of gratefulness and then shivered as she rolled down the sleeve of her sweatshirt. The bruising and pain hadn't been as bad as it had yesterday, but Jack had insisted on making sure she didn't have a sprain. Alex snorted. Doctors. Jack took a swig of his bottle of water, refilled it, and held it to his heading, sighing in relief.
Alex asked.
Just a small one, Jack said, forcing a smile.
He looked over at Alex, studying her behavior. Throughout his examination of her injuries, Alex had been quiet.
Any reason you're wanting to say?
Alex didn't answer.
Are you afraid to walk back? Jack suggested.
Still no answer, which told Jack that maybe no answer was his answer.
So are you sure it'd be all right? Jack said. No weird visions or feelings?
He let out a laugh at asking the question, while Alex just simply shook her head.
All right then, Jack sighed.
It also didn't take a psychic to see that it was going to be a long night.
Author's Note: I'll hopefully get a lot done this weekend. If not, I hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween! Thanks so much for all the reviews! You guys rock!
Whirlwind-2005: Yes, the series had to end sometime and I decided to end it at an even twenty. All I can say is..don't get too attached to anyone- anyone. And as much as I love Alias' ability to kill off and bring back every character five times, you won't see it here. Well, except for maybe special occasions.
Freckles-101: Yeah, that marshall's an evil one, but Kate has plans of her own;)
Coming up next, on In the End:
Sayid and Boone have a conversation about what should happen with the hatch, and I think Jack and Boone will too. Another survivor goes missing and one is found..but it's not the same person.
Thanks again!
Until Next time..
October Sky
