In the End
Chapter Six
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Michael Piller who died November 1, 2005. Mr. Piller worked for the Star Trek team and is one of the producers of the new show Wildfire, but I best knew him as one of the creators, producers, and writers for a favorite show of mine, The Dead Zone. Half of the plots, names, and even names of places in my series are based off of ideas from The Dead Zone, and without Mr. Piller's contributions to the show, some of these ideas may have never made it to the screen. My sympathy goes out to Mr. Piller's family, friends, and co-workers. He will always be remember by his fans. R.I.P.
Chapter Six: Jack's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Rebecca searched the beach over the crowd, in hopes of finding Sawyer. Across the beach, Jack was trying to get some extra search parties going, a task at which he seemed to be having no luck accomplishing. At last her eyes fell on Sawyer, snoozing in a spot close to the ocean, away from everywhere else. Rebecca smiled to herself. Sawyer seemed like the distancing type. Though she had only spoken to him twice, Rebecca had instantly felt a connection to him. Or maybe that was just a woman thing.
Hurrying across the sand, Rebecca wondered how Sawyer would take the news she had for him. Just as she reached him, Rebecca decided it'd be best to break it to him slowly. The last sand dune sank below her as she jumped over it, and Rebecca stopped, standing up Sawyer, who was snoring softly. Rebecca smiled once more. She let him sleep a moment longer before picking up a balled up shirt beside him, and giving Sawyer a soft kick in the ribs with her right hiking boot.
"What the hell?" Sawyer grumbled, waking up.
"Morning to you too," Rebecca greeted, amused, "here."
She through the shirt down at Sawyer, who looked at it like she had thrown him a batch of smiley faced pancakes.
"Put it on," Rebecca instructed and then smirked, "you might as well start sleeping with your shirt on, it's not like anyone's looking."
Sawyer smiled up at her as he fastened the last button.
"You were."
Rebecca's ears reddened as she looked away in embarrassment.
"Where're we going anyway?" Sawyer asked, grabbing for his bag.
"Tracking," Rebecca replied.
Sawyer snorted.
"Is there something you want to say?" Rebecca asked.
"It's not really my thing," Sawyer responded with a laugh.
Rebecca sighed.
"We're going to looking for Walt," she explained, "I thought you might want to help out, I guess I was wrong."
She turned away from him in disappointed.
"Fine," Sawyer said with a huff.
Slightly taken abback by his reply, Rebecca studied him in concern. She didn't know much about Sawyer, but his cold-hearted spirit stuck out amongst the other castaways, even more so than those who were certain that if they moved from the spot they were standing in, they'd be sucked into the ground. Sawyer seemed down right depressed, but not a normal depression. This depression that was something worked up over a long period of time, maybe even a lifetime.
"Are you okay?" Rebecca asked carefully.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Sawyer said.
She looked at him, dumbfounded.
"Your friend just died, Sawyer," she said, "and his son might be dead too."
"Gee, glad we have a positive outlook on things," Sawyer said sarcastically.
"What's wrong with you!" Rebecca cried out of frustration.
"All I know, Sweetheart," Sawyer shot back, "is that I never asked for a second date."
Rebecca shook her head and glanced back towards the gathering castaways near Jack. She couldn't help but to notice that Sawyer had gone out of his way to avoid facing the others, and even now he was looking down at the sand, as if trying to conjure up a spell that would make him sink into it.
"I'm sorry," she said, finding herself feeling sorry for Sawyer, whatever it was that he did or whatever happened, "do you want to go or what?"
Sawyer sighed heavily.
"Sure."
Rebecca gave Sawyer a sympathy pat on the shoulder, ignoring the glare she received in return, and let him lead them into the jungle, though she was sure he didn't have a clue as to where they were going.
Across the Beach
Jack's brain was spinning. He was doing everything he could to keep from lashing out at the crowd of people around him. So many people were talking to him at once that Jack had completely forgotten where he was until someone accidentally kicked sand in his eyes. Why they were kicking sand in the first place, Jack didn't want to know. Too his relief, someone said something over the crowd, who departed, grumbling. Jack turned, grateful but also concerned to see that Sayid had returned.
"You looked like you could use some help," Sayid explained.
"Thanks," Jack said, and glanced back towards the other castaways, who were now glaring at them, "there's no pleasing them, is there?"
Sayid smiled.
"What did you expect?"
Jack chuckled, enjoying the momentary break before being fast with the newest island tragedy once more.
"Why did you come back?" He asked curiously.
"Boone and I were separated during the night," Sayid half-lied, "is he here?"
"Over there," Jack nodded over towards Shannon's camp last night, where Boone sat hopelessly, gathering his things for the search. Sayid nodded a thanks, and walked over to him.
Jack watched as they talked, and the thought that Sayid didn't know Shannon was missing didn't even occur to him until Sayid suddenly slowly sat down in shock of something just been told to him. Sayid and Boone sat there for a moment, discussing something quietly, before they both stood up and made there way back over to him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Sayid demanded.
"I.." Jack searched for a reason and then sighed, "forgot. It just slipped my mind for a second."
"'Slipped your mind'?" Sayid repeated. "She's missing! She could be hurt!"
Sayid stopped, trying to calm down.
"I'm going to look for her," Sayid announced, throwing his backpack over his shoulder.
"Wait," said Jack, stopping him, "what about Locke?"
"You can look for Locke," Sayid said.
"Danielle's missing too," Jack informed him, and Sayid sighed.
"I'm sure you can find someone else," Sayid said, and turned back towards the jungle.
"I'll go," offered Alex, stepping into their conversation.
"No," Jack said immediately, "we need people to stay here and keep control of the camp."
"Kate's doing that, remember?" Alex said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
She had obviously heard their argument earlier.
"And besides," Alex shrugged, "I'd probably be more help than anyone else here."
"Do you have any idea where she is now?" Jack asked quickly, as if he didn't want to spend more time on the conversation than necessary.
Alex bit her lip, hesitating before answering:
"No," she admitted.
"Then what makes you think you will later?" Jack said.
Alex glared at him.
"I'm sure you'll find some help," Sayid repeated, anxious to leave, and Boone looked just as worried for Shannon.
Jack glanced towards the other survivors huddled together in small groups on the beach.
"These people are afraid," Jack said quietly, "they're not going to go any further into the jungle if they have to, and truthfully, I don't even want to."
Sayid stared at him as if wondering where this was going.
"But we need as many people as we can get," Jack finished.
"Then let me help," Alex said, speaking up again.
Jack looked at her, but this time not in annoyance or impatience, considering the option, knowing that Alex would be one of the few who'd volunteer to search.
"Fine," Jack finally agreed, "we'll go look for your mom, Sayid, you look for Locke, and Boone, Shannon."
Everyone seemed content with this proposal except for Sayid, who looked furious.
"Why can't Boone look for Locke?" He asked.
Jack hesitated. This was harder than he had originally planned it to be.
"All right," Jack said, "Boone, you look for Locke."
"But she's my sister!" Boone replied, and then quickly corrected: "Stepsister."
"We'll go," Charlie spoke up behind him.
Jack jumped. He hadn't even noticed Charlie had been standing there the entire time.
"'We'?" Jack repeated, turning around.
"Yeah," Charlie said, sounding thoroughly enthused, "I can go with Claire. Maybe we'll recognize something from the kidnapping."
"Charlie, that was almost two months ago," Jack reminded.
Charlie pouted.
"So?"
Jack sighed.
"All right," he finally agreed, "go with Claire if she wants to."
"Great, thanks mate!" Charlie said, dashing off to find Claire.
Jack had to hold back a chuckle; he figured the poor guy was mostly just looking for something to do. He was brought back to reality at the impatient look on Sayid's face.
"Wherever Locke is," Jack said, turning to Sayid, "he can probably take care of himself, but Locke's a skilled hunter, and it's going to take skill to find him."
"So I don't have skill now?" Boone shot. "I'm a not capable enough to find someone as great and mighty as Locke?"
Jack wondered if Boone was listening to himself talk.
"No," he said quickly, "what I meant was.."
"Look," Boone said, angry, "sorry if I'm not as experienced or whatever as you two in this, but I missed out on getting the memo that said I'd be stranded on an island for four months."
Jack did his best to keep from lashing out. Why was it that everything he wanted to say always ended up coming out completely opposite and usually ended up insulting someone? Looking around, Jack saw that half the crowd was watching them argue while the other half was looking around as he was, waiting for answers and something to do. He knew they had to start moving fast.
"I didn't mean it like that," Jack said.
Suddenly, a new idea occurred to him.
"Actually, you looking for Locke would probably be a good idea," Jack said, "you two have been all around the island, right?"
Boone seemed accepting of the idea.
"Half of it," he answered.
"Good," Jack said, nodding and grateful of the new plan, that seemed to be working until..
"But what about Shannon?" Boone wanted to know.
Jack glared without meaning too.
"Fine!" Boone exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "It's not like she cares about me wanting to help her anyway."
With that Boone stormed off into the jungle, leaving Jack, Alex, and Sayid in silence. Even though he felt bad for Boone, Jack was grateful that at least part of the conflict was resolved. Meanwhile, Sayid looked as if he wasn't sure he should celebrate for getting his way, or feel guilty for just that. Finally, Alex broke the pause.
"So what about my mom?" She spoke up quietly.
"We'll go look for her," Jack said.
"I'll walk with you halfway," Sayid offered, "but truthfully, I don't think she went far."
Jack nodded though he wished he shared Sayid's confidence, and followed him out into the jungle, Alex right behind them. About a half a mile out they stopped at a fork in the path, and just as they were about to part, Alex turned around suddenly. Jack mirrored her, as did Sayid, though they didn't hear whatever she did. Jack leaned over to ask Alex what was wrong, but stopped when the answer stepped out on the trail, and Jack's heart leapt, skipping a beat.
Sawyer stood there, looking sullen and completely lost, though once he realized who he had stumbled upon he wiped the expression off his face.
"I was uh..looking for someone," Sawyer explained.
Tension filled the air and Jack knew that Alex and Sayid were watching him, waiting for Jack to say or do something. When Jack didn't, Sawyer motioned behind him.
"I'll just go."
At first Jack was going to let Sawyer walk away, until he realized that his last opportunity for revenge could be walking right on. Jack grabbed Sawyer's arm, spinning him around to face him.
"Do you have any idea what you did?" He asked rhetorically.
Sawyer didn't reply.
"My life sucks," Jack informed in an angry tone that wasn't his, "and just when I find one person that matters, that cares.." Jack trailed off, unable to finish, "you took that away from me."
When Sawyer didn't offer an apology, Jack pulled his fist back, and swung it forward, connecting perfectly with Sawyer's jaw, knocking him backwards. Sawyer's head collided with a tree behind him before he hit the ground, and the sound of his skull scraping the bark made Alex flinch behind Jack. The force of the blow surprised even Jack, and had completely caught Sawyer off guard, who was now on the ground trying to stand. He wasn't quick enough though, and Jack swung his foot around, forcing Sawyer back down and possibly cracking a rib in the process. Jack bent down and leaned forward until he was only inches from Sawyer's face.
"I"m glad life is all fun and games for you," Jack continued, "because for some of us it's hard."
The fact that there were other people watching slipped Jack's mind as he glared at Sawyer.
"I hope your happy," Jack finished, summarizing everything he had been reciting in his head the past day in one statement.
Sawyer glared at him, cold and hard, before bothering to defend himself
"Just so you know," Sawyer said hoarsely, "I never planned for this to happen. This was all her doin'."
"You still went along with it," Jack pointed out, holding his fist to the ground, trying to restrain from fighting, knowing that if he'd seriously hurt Sawyer, he'd be the one that would have to take care of it.
Sawyer's vengeful face soon turned to a cocky grin.
"Anything to make the girl happy," he said slyly.
That did it. Jack picked his fist up off the ground and slammed it into Sawyer's face. Blood spewed out of Sawyer's nose and onto Jack's fist, which Jack slowly brought back. Nursing his sore knuckles, Jack glared back down at Sawyer, disgusted. Though Sawyer was clutching his nose tightly, the blood still soaked through, but this didn't stop Sawyer from fighting back.
Lifting a foot Sawyer kicked back with more force that Jack had been expecting, and the impact sent Jack tumbling backwards. Sawyer leapt to his feet and grabbed Jack by the collar before he could try and swing at him again. He threw Jack to the ground and Jack felt his back smash against the jungle floor below before he had a chance to catch his breath.
In a quick moment Jack was able to glance over to see Alex standing in pure shock, looking almost frightened, and Sayid caught in yet another bind, looking like he was wondering if he should let them work out their problems on their own, or if he should step in before one of them killed the other. Just as Jack was recovering from the latest blow, Sawyer grabbed him again, lifting him up a few inches off the ground. Jack wondered where Sawyer learned this torture tactic, because torture was exactly what it felt like. Between his head being lifted above his chest against his free will and his shirt being tightened around his neck, Jack was sure his circulation was cutting off, and began choking for breath.
"You think you have it perfect, don't you?" Sawyer spat. "Because you're the leader and hero. Well some of us aren't as perfect as others. Some of us had to pay our own way through life. Do you have any idea how hard it is to live every day not knowing if you're gonna be there the next? And I ain't just talking about the island. It's a big, mean, world out there hero. Welcome to it."
Jack stared up at Sawyer, wondering how they had ever been on good terms.
"So why don't you tell us about how you paid your way through life?" Jack said testily, figuring it was high time he got his fair share of one-liners and insults.
But his plan backfired. Sawyer's fist came down fast at him, but just as Jack prepared himself for the hit. Sawyer was lifted off of him. Jack looked up to see who had saved him, and he was almost proud to see Alex standing over Sawyer's body, which was now laying on the ground not to far from him. Sawyer was breathing heavily, and as he himself caught his own breath, Jack looked over to see that Sawyer's head now supported a footprint on the side, which was now bleeding freely. Jack found himself surprised in Alex's strength, but then again she was the one who was able to kidnap and knock out both him and Kate single-handily in a matter of minutes. A hand appeared in front of Jack's face and Jack grabbed at it without considering whose it was. The hand turned out to belong to Sayid, who helped Jack to his feet. Jack's head spun but within seconds it cleared, leaving only a headache, which he was gladly willing to deal with knowing other choice.
"Thanks," Jack muttered, and looked down at the now unconscious Sawyer.
"Out cold," Alex informed.
Sawyer's face was already covered in blood, which was staining the ground beneath him. He didn't realize that Sayid was watching him in concern, as was Alex.
"I'm fine," he insisted, and Alex rolled her eyes, "help me get him back to camp."
Jack looked back at Sawyer and remembered all the things he had said to him without apology; everything he had done.
"No," Jack said with a shake of his head, "leave him."
Alex stared at him, incredulous.
"Jack, he's bleeding," Alex said as if Jack were blind.
"I know," Jack said, looking down at Sawyer to avoid her eyes.
"If you leave him out here-" Sayid began from behind him.
"I know what will happen!" Jack shouted.
A scream from nearby left the argument and Sawyer forgotten as the three ran towards it. Alex ended up leading them straight to the owner of the scream, which belonged to Shannon. Jack stopped at the sight of Shannon on the ground, hugging her knees as she shook, staring at something in front of her. Turning and preparing himself for the worse, Jack's eyes fell on a body, so injured and mangled that it took a full minute for Jack to recognize it as Walt's.
Suddenly Jack felt sick, and had to swallow hard to keep himself from throwing up. Despite the amount of blood Jack still dropped to his knees beside Walt and felt for a post. When they had found Shannon, Sayid had immediately gone to her, but now he stood up slowly, and walked over to Jack. Jack checked again and again for a pulse in both Walt's neck and wrist, but found none. Jack swallowed again and closed his eyes tightly. He felt Sayid's hand on his shoulder, and looked over to see Alex staring at the body. It was then that Jack remembered that Walt and Alex had been someone of friends and had a close bond, considering that they were the youngest on the island.
"Alex-" he began quietly, but failed at trying to talk to her.
Taking one last look at the body, Alex turned and tore down the nearest path. Jack looked back down at the body, wondering what kind of god would allow a life to be taken like this, especially such a young one. He then got to his feet, knowing that any continuation of the scene depended on him.
"I um.." Jack sniffed- he hadn't even realized his eyes were watering, "I better go stop Charlie and Claire."
Sayid looked at him sympathetically before turning back to Shannon. Jack watched as he knelt down beside Shannon and slipped an arm around her shoulders. Remembering his task, Jack turned back to the path, but when he did he realized that the last thing he wanted to do was go and find Charlie and Claire. What he really wanted to do was talk to Alex. Taking a deep breath Jack headed down the path she had taken, calling her name, hoping he'd be able to somehow fix all of this.
At the Beach
The path led back to the beach camp, but when Jack reached the sand, he looked around to see that no one was there. Jack panicked, but out of the corner of his eyes noticed something odd. A trail of dozens of footprints not far away leading to the jungle. Jack ran that way, which led him to the caves.
Inside the caves the castaways had gathered, many sitting in the same groups they had been on the beach. Jack looked around for Kate, who he just remembered was supposed to be in charge.
"Okay, just hold still-" Kate was saying from the side.
Jack spun around to see Kate sitting with a man, who was in obvious pain. The man's ankle was sitting on top of a stack of books, and Kate seemed to be frantic to help him. Furious, Jack stomped over to Kate, ignoring the many looks he was receiving from others and forgetting about the blood on his hands and sweat trickling down his face.
"What do you think you're doing?" Jack demanded, walking towards Kate.
Kate looked up, jumping a little at the tone of his voice.
"Nothing," Kate lied, "he just tripped, I've got it covered."
"Here-" Jack said, pushing Kate out of the way, "you're not even doing it right."
Kate glared at Jack as he took her place.
"Does this hurt?" Jack asked the man calmly, placing his fingers gently right above the man's ankle.
The man shook his head, though he still looked in pain. Just the thought of helping someone made Jack feel at home, and somehow seemed to calm him down. Slowly Jack let go of the ankle.
"It's just a sprain," he informed, "you'll be fine by tomorrow, just stay off of it as much as you can."
The man nodded and winced in pain as he tried to adjust his position on the ground.
"Can I talk to you?" Jack said, grabbing Kate's arm and dragging her out of the cave.
"What?" Kate said, jerking away from Jack once outside.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Jack exclaimed. "You were supposed to watch over everyone, at the beach."
Kate rolled her eyes.
"They wanted to come back," she said, "calm down."
"Calm down?" Jack repeated. "No, I'm not coming down. You're taking this too far."
Kate looked taken aback.
"Excuse me?"
"You know," Jack said, glaring at her.
"Oh.." Kate said, realizing what Jack was thinking, "oh my God..you think I did this to get back at you?"
Jack looked away, embarrassed at how that sounded.
"What are you, twelve?" Kate snapped. "Grow up, Jack."
"Me grow up?" Jack said, incredulous. "Sorry, but isn't running around with another guy while with someone out a little highschoolish?"
Kate rolled her eyes again.
"People have affairs at all ages," she said, "get over yourself."
"Don't tell me to get over myself," Jack said, growing angry. "I'm not the bad guy here."
At this point Kate's eyes trailed down to Jack's blood hand where her stare lingered.
"What did you do?" Kate said slowly.
Jack didn't reply. Kate looked up again and the two met eyes.
"I don't believe you," she said quietly, shaking her head.
"Kate-" Jack tried to defend himself, but Kate wasn't willing to defend himself.
"Where is he?" Kate demanded.
"What?"
The question caught Jack off guard.
"What did you do with him?" Kate said louder.
When Jack didn't answer, Kate's hand flew towards his face but Jack caught it before it could connect with his skin. They met each others eyes once again.
"I love you," Jack said quietly, "I was always willing to give my life for you. What changed?"
For a moment it looked as though Kate was wanting to leave him hanging, but then she spoke up.
"Nothing changed," Kate began quietly, "it's just..easier..with Sawyer. There's no pressure. We're just alike. There doesn't have to be any secrets."
"There doesn't have to be any secrets with us either," Jack said, voice much lower now.
"Yes there does," Kate said, tearing up, "because without those secrets, this..this would never work."
Jack looked at Kate, heart aching. When had she lost her trust in him? When had this all changed? It seemed like only yesterday that they were the perfect couple, that everything was fine. Oh wait, that was just yesterday. Funny how life comes at you fast.
"I never doubted you," Jack said softly, "things take time, but if you're not willing to make the effort-" he shook his head, "maybe it's not worth it."
Biting her lip, Kate looked down, and Jack finally let go of her hand.
"I'm a wanted fugitive, Jack," Kate said, "that'll always be there. No matter if we want it to be or not."
"It doesn't matter," Jack said, shaking his head.
"Yes it does!" Kate cried. "If you had seen me on tv or read about me in the paper, you wouldn't of wanted anything to do with me! You don't know me, who I really am, and I don't want you to find out!"
"We all have secrets, Kate" Jack said, "we got passed that. Let us stay passed that."
"No!" Kate exclaimed, and then looked down. "Look, being with Sawyer made me realize a few things, that's all."
"A few things like what?" Jack wanted to know.
"Nothing," Kate replied quickly.
"Kate-"
"What about your secrets Jack?" Kate shot, taking the conversation off of her. "Your past?"
Jack looked at her, wondering where this was going.
"I stuck with you through it all," Kate said, "and I never got so much as a 'thank you'."
Jack snorted.
"I thought that spoke for itself."
Kate stood, mouth agape.
"Admit, Jack," Kate said, suddenly sounding angry again.
The whole turn of the conversation threw Jack off so much that he was even exactly sure what Kate was trying to say.
"You have your issues too!" Kate said. "Why didn't you come after me after Boone told everyone?"
"I was going-"
"You didn't!" Kate snapped. "You didn't because you cared too much about being doctor, playing hero-"
Smack.
The question of who was in more shock was a toss-up. Kate stared at Jack a moment in pure horror before thinking to lift a hand to her stinging cheek. Jack just blinked. Tears formed in Kate's eyes, not from the physical blow, but from what it meant, and a tear rolled down her face at the realization of it. Everything that had ever gone on between them was now officially over. It meant nothing, but yet even after he had slapped her, part of Kate still wanted her place in his heart. But deep down she knew the truth: it was really over, and there was no fixing it.
Author's Note: Okay, before I go take cover in my safe house, I want to apologize. I realized that with planning Jack and Kate had to stay apart for awhile but keep in mind that this is still a Jate fic- they WILL be back together! I swear! I promise! And they should be together soon too, in fact! And please don't be mad at Jack, he's just really stressed and really frustrated. The world's being really unfair to him right now. And that entire ending is in thanks to Crazyhorsegirl88. Blame her or thank her. I tend to do both. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter and I hope you guys stick around! You guys rock!
Coming up next, on "In the End":
I think most of this chapter will revolve around Sawyer and Rebecca, along with another Jack and Alex chat. Mind you, don't forget that relationship is strictly friendship. Sawyer and Rebecca, on the other hand..:-p
(runs into safe house in the middle of nowhere)
Thanks again!
Until next time..
October Sky
