IZON SHŌ
Chapter XLIX
Forty ninth session
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"Almost always, our world's destruction starts where we less expect it."
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InuYasha stepped into his apartment, closed the door and left his keys on the small stand by the entrance, in the same way he would do every day. Then, he took his shoes off, his jacket, and went straight to the shower in order to get rid of the smell of food that must be surely stuck to him after that day's long shift. As he was taking his shirt off, he felt a caress on his legs he quickly recognized. He looked down, and found the green and feline eyes of the cat that had followed him from Kagome's apartment, three weeks ago.
"Hi, cat. Did you miss me?" He asked as the animal took another lap around and between his legs, to then let out a meow so grave it sounded strange coming from a cat.
InuYasha crouched and stroked its gray fur, which had soft, darker veins, giving the animal a certain tigerish look.
"I think I better feed you first." He concluded as the cat once again circled his legs, a loud purr filling the background.
He smiled.
Standing up, and carefully avoiding the cat that with every step would get in his way, he reached the cabinet where he kept the food he had bought three weeks ago, the same amount of time the cat had been with him, and placed some of it on the plate he had acquired together with the food. There, he stroked his back as he ate, thinking it was almost symbolic to have him as company, as in some way, they both had been abandoned.
The first two days, he felt utterly broken. He even found himself standing at the start of the long stairs leading to the temple where Kagome's family lived, just in case he may run into her there. He thought about going up and asking, yet he still had enough coherence as to avoid such a disastrous experience. He still had to admit that, during those three weeks of feeling an agonizing absence, he had considered the idea of going back to the temple.
He started towards the bathroom, leaving his friend, the cat, eating at the corner he had assigned him. Once inside, he took off the rest of his clothes and threw them inside the laundry basket, reminding himself it'd be best if he were to do wash them before going to bed. Next, he grabbed a towel and hung it near the shower before opening the tap and beginning to seek the right temperature.
It was strange the way life would seemingly go on, unbothered by how much one may feel torn off on the inside.
He entered the shower, let the warm water wet his shoulders with little and insistent drops that were helping his muscles relax. He also doused his hair, and reached out with a hand to grab a bottle of shampoo, yet through touch what he found was a small container he didn't recognize as his, and with a quick glance, he discovered it was the shampoo Kagome used to use.
"Crap." He grunted.
Later that day, he buried the bottle deep in his bathroom's cabinet.
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"Yes, mom. I'll be there by new year's." InuYasha repeated, once again, after Izayoi insisted on him spending those days with her.
He listened to her reasons, ones she considered could help him clear his head, her encounter with Jinenji, a few days ago, among them.
"I gave him your number so that he can get in touch with you. I thought it was a good idea." His mother mentioned.
"Don't worry. You did well, Jinenji is a good friend." He accepted, without much enthusiasm.
A few weeks ago, he had to tell his mother he wasn't seeing Kagome anymore, when she proposed they could visit her together for new year's.
"Are you eating well?" Was her question, with a certain hint of worry he quickly sought to soothe.
"Yes, of course. Do I need to remind you that cooking is my profession?" He smiled when he finished the sentence, hoping it was enough to calm her distress.
"Good." She accepted, apparently not entirely convinced.
"I have to hang up now. I promised to meet with a friend." He commented, cheering his tone up to sound more persuasive.
"Oh, I'm glad. It will do you some good to go out. Have fun." InuYasha didn't want to worry his mother, he should be better with time.
"We'll do." He attempted another smile, and added, "I'll call you in a few days."
His mother accepted that, and then they both hung up.
InuYasha left his phone by his side, on the bed, and from there he stared at some point on the ground, the room submerged in a thick silence only rippled by the intermittent sounds coming from the street. Of course, there was no friend to go out with, nor a plan of going out at all that night, just like last night, and the one previous to that one; when he wasn't working, he was either sleeping or like now, amidst the silence and monotony of his apartment. The cat was the only aspect of his life that actually helped his well-being, and strangely, he didn't seem to want to go out much either.
InuYasha almost laughed at himself. He never thought about keeping a pet.
He sighed, deep and through the nose, with an exhausted exhalation released through his mouth; he was done with emotions. And so, he laid back and stared at the ceiling, white and empty.
He knew how to recognize a depression when he lived it.
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The place InuYasha was walking into seemed much more discreet and elegant, when compared to the stridency of the outside, in the Kabukicho district. He neared the bar, asked for sake, which was soon served in a small traditional porcelain cup, and from there he observed the place, thinking it had taken him decades to come back, despite having been away for only a few months. In the distance, his eyes chanced upon a girl with short, black hair and an intense gaze, who would steal glances of him from time to time as she feigned paying attention to what her friend was saying. InuYasha drank the sake in one gulp, and asked for another just to have time to ponder if he wanted to start something with that girl, then looked in another direction to check if there was someone who may arouse his interest. He was sure of what he wanted, someone available and willing, yet not dependent; someone with the right mind to spend a night of sex without compromise. He had spent weeks of emotional misery, and believed the time had come to break that cycle.
He found what he was looking for in a long and dark mane his mind immediately linked with something pleasant. He waited until the woman turned in his direction, allowing him to catch a glimpse of her joyful profile and of the smile she dedicated to her two friends.
It wasn't her, yet she looked like her.
He shook off that thought, and drank the second cup of sake, again in one gulp, as to erase those absurd and useless ideas before nearing the small group, probing for visual contact. As he did so, his mind kept trying to decide the method he should use, yet a few steps later he realized so much thought may not be needed.
The girl had turned around on request of one of her friends, and had locked eyes with him.
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Through InuYasha's ears, the sound of his own winded breath and wheezes kept entering as he sunk himself inside that body, granting him the peace he had been yearning for so long. In and out of her, the sway was blazing, burning him from the inside, and he knew that not even by being completely consumed would it be enough. With delight, he felt the touch of her soft and light skin, exploring her thighs and torso by handfuls, only to stop for just a moment in the perfect volume of her breasts as he kissed her neck when his own sighs, feverish from desire, allowed him to.
He discovered himself lost amidst the heat, the sweat and the tight embrace they were in, and in such a limbo he also found that part of himself that had been taken from him a long time ago, and that in that instant it seemed buried somewhere back in his memory. He sought her lips, which received him avid as they throbbed, out of tension, warmth and passion; same as his. And in her gaze, he discovered the emotion that right now her eyes were arousing in him.
He came out of her without warning, panting due to the intensity of the moment, and remained there, seated on the other side of the bed, staring.
"Why have you come back?" He asked, the pain of the last days flaring in his voice.
Kagome wouldn't avoid his eyes, and her appearance, with her blushed skin, swollen lips and messy hair, was the very embodiment of desire.
"I'm a sex addict." She replied, as if it were evident.
InuYasha felt something twist inside him, an energy quite like the most primal wrath he knew of, stirred by the recognition of the falsehood in that answer.
"If you were, we wouldn't be here, doing this." He believed he could still feel her caresses; he knew the touch of sex, and knew too when it contained love. "Why have you come back?" He demanded.
"I'm a sex addict." The immutability of the phrase frustrated him.
He lunged himself at her, and held her by the hair in order to not lose sight of her eyes, as his fingers explored her insides. Kagome panted and tensed before the touch; he recognized her delight in it, and that frustrated him even more, pushing him to move his fingers almost with violence. Then, he grunted and pulled his hand out before backing away.
"If it's just that, then touch yourself while I watch. That's sex, and should excite you." He berated her, maybe expecting some kind of different reaction, or maybe hoping to hear the truth he felt in his heart.
Kagome stared at him, pain clear in her eyes, and for an instant he believed she would finally concede and bring down all of those shields she had created; however, her expressions shifted from vulnerability to determination, and her hands quickly moved to do exactly as he told her. Her legs spread, she showed him without hesitation how her fingers were grazing the sides of her sex, and InuYasha soon was able to see how that space opened, that same place he had put his erection in so many times. He felt excited before the vision, before the wet sound of her fingers moving back and forth, and suddenly found himself wielding his own sex, an action that made him feel deeply, utterly miserable.
So much, he couldn't endure it anymore.
So much, that his body woke up. His eyes burst open and found the semi-darkness of a lonely room, his mind quickly scrambling together what had happened as he sat on the bed. He recalled Kabukicho, the bar he entered, the girl he locked eyes with, and who he kissed in a dark corner only to find out he couldn't be who he had been once, not anymore.
He would have cried due to the emotions still flaring in his chest, yet all he managed was to taste the bitter sensation of knowing tears weren't enough.
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To return to Nakano was harder than what InuYasha had expected. Practically every step would remind him of moments of the previous trip, but what really surprised him was the deep feelings they would evoke in him. He wondered if their intensity had something to do with his own maturity, for everything seemed deeper to him now; the joy he had managed to feel with Kagome, and the sadness accompanying him now, in his solitude.
As he stepped out of the station, he remembered the instance when he handed his scarf to Kagome, and the cavorts drawn by the low part of her dress. The next flashback came when he was but a few meters away from his mother's house, vivid the memory of Kagome and how restless she had been before entering, and so he made the only relevant question wandering his mind, since she had disappeared from his life.
What happened?
He didn't want to think about what he'd feel once he reached his room.
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As he observed the movement around him, InuYasha felt grateful for the mood a festivity like the Setsubun usually brought. His mother had complained about his absence during the new year's celebrations, yet as soon as he apologized in person, the woman pulled him into a hug. He knew that even if she wouldn't say anything, she also understood a great deal of what he was going through.
"InuYasha!" He heard someone call his name in the distance.
He sought the source among the people that had congregated around the temple, most probably to hit the doors of the Oni and so chase away the evil spirits. It didn't take him long to catch sight of his friend Jinenji, who gestured at him with a hand, ignoring that his height was already enough to be discerned among the crowd. InuYasha got closer, and after exchanging a formal greeting, they wrapped each other in a hug.
"I thought you were coming for new year's." The man mentioned, his eyes darting around him from place to place.
InuYasha didn't need much to understand who he was looking for.
"In the end, I couldn't." He answered, then quickly tried to change topics. "How are you? No work today?"
"I'm fine, and I have a shift this afternoon; the bar is closed for now, since I don't have someone to take the reins when I can't." He explained. InuYasha nodded in understanding. "Your mother gave me your number. I wanted to talk to you."
"I'm all ears." He made a gesture of introduction; it wasn't hard for him to be spontaneous around Jinenji.
His friend smiled, and then looked behind him, widening the smile. InuYasha felt a cold breeze blowing up his spine, believing Jineji had just found Kagome at his back, only to quickly understand how absurd the very idea was.
However, he couldn't blame his mind for reading his heart's desire.
"Mrs. Taisho." His friend greeted, referring to his mother who had neared them.
"Jinenji." She warmly returned the greeting. "Have you come to chase away the Oni?"
"As it should be!" He replied, cheerfully.
"Let's go then. I've come looking for InuYasha, who I think has a few to chase away as well." She added.
InuYasha sighed, slowly, admitting the truth in his mother's words.
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"Think about it InuYasha." Jinenji incited him, after proposing to retake their plan, made years ago, of becoming business partners.
"I'm thinking about it." He smiled an answer before the almost childish eagerness of his friend.
InuYasha flipped, a few times, a coin he held between his fingers before placing it on the table. There, as it stood on its edge, he flicked it with a finger, causing it to spin until it ran out of force and fell on its side.
"It's there something wrong with my proposal?" Jinenji asked, laying back on his chair. Through the window, both saw a group of children walking by, disguised as Onis.
"There is nothing wrong with it." He clarified, and reassured him with a head gesture.
The proposal was quite good, in fact; to work a few months for free, turning his work into capital he would then contribute to his association with Jinenji. During those months, he could live with his mother, and once he had a stable salary, he could look for an apartment on his own. His friend had thought that far ahead, and he had to admit it was feasible.
"You know I'm a cook. I'd want this to be more than just a bar to drink and sell snacks." He began to present his conditions.
"I imagined." Jinenji smiled contently.
InuYasha had to admit he was liking the idea more and more, feeling his mood improving by the thought… and after the weeks he had endured, that was exactly what he needed.
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To be continued.
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A/N
Here I am, with a new chapter, and I do see now the end approaching in a few more chapters.
I hope you didn't have a hard time reading it, and that you enjoyed its different aspects.
Kisses,
Anyara.
This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart
