In the End
Chapter Twelve
Happy early birthday to Crazyhoresgirll88!
Disclaimer: "I Need You To Love Me" is a great song by the group Barlow Girls.
Please excuse the spelling for now, I'll try and fix it tomorrow.
Chapter Twelve: I Need You To Love Me
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Kate asked for the dozenth time that day. "I mean, your head-"
"My head is fine," Jack said, smiling at Kate's worry, "can't you just be spontaneous?"
"Oh, me be spontaneous?" Kate laughed. "'No, we shouldn't risk going to the beach, it might rain', 'No, you shouldn't eat berries from that bush, dirt grows around it'. Honestly Jack, you should listen to yourself more often!"
Jack found himself laughing along with Kate, accidently bumping into her in the process. Kate pushed him back, causing Jack to laugh even harder. The spontaneous run on the beach had been the first thing on Jack's list after he learned just how bad is near-death experiecnce had been. Kate had gladly agreed, needing to get out of the stuffy atmosphere of the caves, though she soon regretted it after running only a few yards. Jack could see where she was coming from though, he knew that if it had been he who had spent the day praying for Kate to wake up, he'd be fragile with her, and it was comforting to him knowing that Kate was doing the same.
"At least I finally got out of the caves," Jack said, breathing in the salty smell of the ocean, just for the heck of it, as they jogged by and made their way up a sand dune.
"You get out of the caves?" Kate said with a snort. "You're the one that's been asleep for two days!"
"Not my fault," Jack shrugged.
Kate smiled to herself, and held it for awhile until she burst out laughing.
"What?" Jack demanded playfully.
"Nothing," Kate said, shaking her head, "I was just thinking about telling Claire how adorable you are when you're helpless."
"Really?" Jack said, laughing in disbelief. "How about I go get Sawyer to throw a few punches so you can gather everyone around and go 'Aw, see how adorable he is!'?"
Kate laughed.
"Okay, okay, stop!"
"And what's this talking to Claire stuff all about anyway?" Jack went on.
Kate shrugged.
"Something wrong with a little girl talk?" Kate challenged.
"Yeah, well maybe someday me, Sayid, and Charlie will gather around the campfire and chat about our girlfriends," Jack teased, "we'll bring out the nailpolish and everything."
Once again Kate burst out laughing, and then stopped once she realized what Jack said.
"What?" He asked, noticing her abrupt pause.
"Nothing," Kate lied, and then decided that she was better off not lying to Jack right now, "you just called me your girlfriend. At least, I think you did. And it's Sayid, Charlie, and I."
Jack rolled his eyes, and thought quickly. Kate actually felt hurt that he was thinking of excuses.
"Out of habit," was all Jack had to offer, "of course, I always call girls who starve theirsleves watching over me all day my girlfriend."
"Stop making me sound pathetic," Kate warned.
As they jogged on, Jack thought about his reply. It really had been out of habit calling Kate that, but he wasn't exactly embarrased by it either. Was that a bad thing? Looking up from his thoughts, Jack noticed a tree emerging into view, and grabbed a piece of fruit from it as they walked by. He took a bite without even checking to see what it was, and was about to take a second when he noticed Kate's expression.
"What?" He asked innocently.
"Didn't your mother ever teach you to share?" Kate in almost a betrayed share.
"Get your own," Jack told her.
Kate scoffed at his reply.
"I could've left you back at that dune, you know," she said.
"But you didn't," Jack reminded in a sing-song voice.
"I could've just left you knocked out yesterday," Kate went on.
"But you didn't," Jack sang, enjoying his moment of triumph.
"I could've told Sawyer about those rubber ducky pajama pants you keep hidden in your cave."
Jack stopped, and was about to argue, when he realized..
"Wait," he said, thinking, "I don't even own any duck..animal pattern..whatever it was."
Jack was embarrased just to be talking about the subject.
"Well they're there," Kate said, pushing Jack so he'd continue running, "and they're not mine."
"Well," Jack said darkly, "if they're not your's, and they're not mine..then who's are they?"
Jack looked at Kate mysteriously, which momentarily had them both laughing, until Jack eventually fell to the sand, needing to rest.
"Come on," Kate begged, pulling his arm, "just a few more yards."
"No," Jack protested, "no more yards. For once I'm not pushing myself to hard, you should be taking advantage of that, you know."
Kate sighed, and flopped down beside him in defeat.
"Speaking of Sayid," Jack said, though he hadn't mentioned him since earlier, "where has he been?"
Kate shrugged, throwing her hands lazily over her knees.
"Hey went out to look for Boone," she explained, "who went out looking for Locke, who-" Kate stopped in annoyance of the way her statement was going, "you get the picture."
They set in silence for a few moments as Jack thought about all the events that he had missed, and he began to feel guilty about not being able to be there to help out.
"We should probably go," Jack said, getting to his feet.
"No!" Kate said quickly, surprising Jack not only by the abrupt reply, but shortly afterwards he felt her hand on his arm, as if she were trying to pull him back down beside her. "We should stay out here for awhile, we could both probably use the fresh air."
Jack met her eyes, and found that she was practically desperate for him to stay.
"All right," Jack agreed, unable to turn her down.
He offered her a small smile, which she returned, though she seemed to have to force it, unlike her smiles before, which came naturally with the shared laughter. Slowly Jack lowered himself to the ground, wincing as he sat, though not because of soreness. Reaching into his back pocket for the source of pain, Jack pulled out something leather, which he soon recognized as his wallet. He had completly forgot about having it. The wallet distinctly resembled his fathers, which was neatly hidden amongst his things in the caves.
"What's that?" Kate asked curiously.
"Nothing," Jack lied, quickly moving to put the wallet back.
"Let me see!" Kate said excitedly.
"It's nothing," Jack lied again, swatting her away.
Before he saw it coming Kate had grabbed the wallet, not even giving Jack a chance to fight back. He reached for it, but Kate was quick to pull away, smiling mischeviously the entire time. Sighing, Jack figured there probably wasn't anything good in there anyway, and went back to eating his apple, which he had also forgotten he had. He chewed as Kate thumped through his credit cards, and when he reached the core of the apple, Jack pulled his arm back and hurled the apple towards the sea.
"Jack!" Kate cried, spotting the movement. "That's bad for the enviroment!"
"Tree hugger," Jack muttered bitterly, and Kate sneered.
"You just remember that when I live ten years longer than you," Kate said, smirking knowingly.
"I'm sure I will," Jack said, sighing as he examined his dirty fingernails in boredorm.
"American Express, Master Card," Kate read outloud as she flipped through the wallet, "along with..a ten dollar off coupon for Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and a token for Chucky Cheese-" Kate raised an eyebrow, "well Jack, can't say I'm not impressed."
"Give me that," Jack grumbled, and grabbed for the wallet, successfully jerking the wallet out of Kate's hand.
She didn't seem to mind- Kate seemed too wrapped up in laughing as hard as she could at Jack. At last she settled down, shaking her head as she tried to regain her breath.
"Do I even want to know?" She said, looking over at him.
"My mom made me go out shopping for her," Jack said in his defense, "and then one of my co-workers was having a birthday for her daughter and asked me to help."
"Aw, like LA's own Mother Teresa..or should I say, Father Teresa?" Kate joked.
Jack looked down in embarrasment, though he couldn't help but to smile.
"So was it you who decided to keep the extra token, or was it part of the party?" Kate continued, taking the given opportunity to tease Jack gratefully.
"Very funny," Jack said sarcastically.
"Just tell me that I'm not going to go back to LA and find out that you hold the highest pinball score or something," Kate said, trying to sound serious, but failing.
"Actually," Jack said, a smile playing on his face, "it's skeeball."
He met Kate's eyes, also trying to be serious, which resulted of both of them laughing until their sides hurt. When Jack was finally able to cease his laughter, he took the time to look back over at Kate, who was still looking at the ground, trying to force herself to stop laughing. Jack couldn't help but to think that just yesterday, he never thought he'd be in this position again. Maybe that was why Kate was so desperate to stay out with him, maybe she missed being together too.
"You never talk about your mom," Kate observed rather calmly, considering their last topic.
"I know," Jack said quietly, looking down.
"i'm sorry," Kate said quickly, after seeing his change of attitude.
"It's fine," Jack lied, "she and my dad divorced when I was maybe six, and got back together a few years ago."
"Sounds romantic," Kate commented.
"More like disturbing," Jack said, recalling being told about his parents relationship a few years ago after decades of feuding, "so how about your mom? You never talk about family."
"I never see them," Kate replied quietly.
A distant reviere settled in after that and not sure what to do, Jack just sat back, watching as Kate drew her knees in closer to her chest, her eyes becoming more and more distant by the second. After awhile it became apparent that Kate was despreate to be freed from her daze.
"So.." Jack said, trying to come up with a subject change, "the weather's nice today."
Jack mentally kicked himself. That line never worked.
"It's fine," Kate said with a snort.
Jack looked at her in surprise.
"I didn't mean to avoid the conversation like that," Kate said, "it's just I never got to see them, being on the run and all."
He had never considered that being on the run could mean being cut off from family and friends, and at detecting the guilt in Kate's voice, Jack felt badly for her. Kate cleared her throat.
"Anyway," she said, welcoming the subject change even after her confession, "yeah, the weather is nice today."
Kate nodded off, looking out to sea. Following her eyes, they soon found themselves staring at the same exact spot on the horizon.
"Maybe we should keep running- jogging-" Jack was quick to change his wording, seeing Kate flinch at 'running', "we didn't get caught in these awkward silences while jogging."
"I'm sorry," Kate said quickly.
"No, it's fine," Jack said with a chuckle, "I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything."
Kate forced a small, grateful, smile.
"The water looks good," Jack commented a few moments later.
Kate smiled again.
"It's January, Jack," she reminded.
"You never got to experience the joy of polar diving?" Jack said with a sly smile.
"What?" Kate laughed.
Jack shrugged.
"Whatever it's called," Jack said, "you know, jumping out in a lake in the middle of winter."
"Sounds fun," Kate said sarcastically, "how about you go jump out there in the water, and I'll sit on the shore and laugh."
"You know I don't think I've ever seen this side of you," Jack chuckled, "I can't say I'm fond of it."
"Well I figured with Sawyer MIA and all, someone had to make up for the lack of one-liners," Kate said smartly.
"MIA?" Jack asked, confussed.
"Missing in action," Kate said, looking at Jack as if he had just grown an extra arm.
"No," Jack said, shaking his head, "I know what it means, I just didn't know that he was missing too."
"Yeah, well one's usually tends to gets lost after one's left beated in a jungle," Kate said lightly.
Jack didn't find the comment amussing. Beating up Sawyer was really a spur-of-the-moment type thing. Thinking back, if he had had time to think about what he was doing, Jack probably wouldn't of done it, or at least he wouldn't of left Sawyer as bad off as he had.
"I'm sure he's find," Kate reassured.
"So you think he got away then?" Jack said, covering up for his pause.
Kate studied him.
"You're plotting more ways to kill him, aren't you?" Kate said in light disbelief, yet at the same time sounding slightly impressed.
"Oh yeah," Jack nodded sarcastically, "I've had poison stashed away, waiting for just the right moment to slip it into his drink."
Kate laughed.
"Seriously, you shouldn't blame him," Kate said, looking down again, "it was my fault."
"Can we just..drop this?" Jack asked, beginning to feel uncomfortable with the conversation.
They set a few moments in silence, and Jack was contemplating the suggestion of continuing their jog when Kate spoke up.
"So this polar jumping," Kate said, the term having lingered in her mind for awhile, "have you done it before?"
Jack chuckled.
"Funny things happen in college when you get drunk at three in the morning," he said.
"Like getting tatoos and jumping in freezing cold lakes?" Kate inquired, eyes twinkling.
"Like that," Jack laughed.
"A bunch of drunken surgeon wanna-bees," Kate said thoughtfully, "something tells me I never want to see that picture."
"It wasn't pretty," Jack admitted.
Kate laughed the joke off.
"So is it fun?" She asked, looking out over the ocean.
"It's cold," Jack said, shivering at the memory.
Kate gazed out over the horizon, looking as though she were trying to conjure up a plan.
"I'll tell you what," Kate said at last, "you run out there in the water- and I don't mean just a few feet- and I'll kiss you."
Jack laughed.
"So then this is the moving forward part?" Jack said. "Cruel jokes and bets?"
"I can be romantic when I want to be," Kate replied.
Jack laughed again, and looked out to the ocean. At very first thought, Jack laughed at the bet, but now that he thought about it, the water probably wasn't that cold, and as a bonus, he'd get to kiss Kate. Now Jack had to laugh at himself. He felt like a desperate teenager who was very bad with peer pressure. However, he also knew that Kate would never leave him alone about being a whimp, and it'd get even worse when the rumors spread- not to mention it would only be for a few minutes.
"All right," Jack agreed, "I'll do it."
Kate looked at him in disbelief as he began taking off his shoes.
"Seriously?" She said.
"Yeah," Jack said as he pulled off a sock.
He had to hold back a wince as his bare foot touched the sand, which was unusually cool.
"I was just kidding, Jack," Kate said, watching him take off the other shoe and sock, "you don't have to-"
"No," Jack said, standing up, "I'm going to and then-" he pointed at Kate, "I get that kiss."
Jack winked, though Kate wasn't amused. As Jack stepped closer to the water, Kate realized that if he was really going to go through with it, she might as well get as much out of it as possible.
"Hey Jack!" Kate called just before Jack dove into the water.
Jack turned around.
"What?"
"You forgot to take off your shirt," Kate said, smiling.
Jack's mouth fell agape.
"It's Januarary, Kate," Jack complained.
"You're going swimming, Jack," Kate shot back.
Now enjoying herself, Kate sat back in the sand, propping herself up by the elbows, letting the wind blow around her. Jack stood staring, mouth agape, for a few seconds before finally speaking up.
"Fine," he agreed, "but if I get hypothermia-"
"Save the lecture," Kate said.
Relucantly Jack began peeling off his shirt, gasping slightly as the wind hit his skin. He could've sworn he heard Kate let out a whistle from the ground, but when he turned towards her, she just shrugged innocently.
"Well go on," Kate said, waving him towards the ocean.
Sighing, Jack took a deep breath, and put a foot in the shallow tide. Immediatly the foot shot back up, almost before the shock of the cold water hit him. Behind him, Kate laughed, causing Jack to spin around, scrowling.
"What?" Kate said, grinning evily. "Polar bear got your tounge?"
Jack let out a final scrowl, and stepped out of the water.
"Forget this," he muttered bitterly.
"Aw," Kate teased, "too cold?"
Instead of a reply, Kate received a handful of ice cold water thrown at her.
"Jack!" Kate squeeled. "It's cold!"
Jack let out a roar of laughter as Kate shivered, lifting herself off the ground.
"You're mean," she accused.
"Oh, I'm mean?" Jack said in exasperated disbelief. "Who's the one that just jumped out into ice water on a bet?"
"That's not being mean," Kate defended, "that's being desperate. And you didn't jump, it was more like..a skip.
"Hey," Jack said, putting his hands up, "that's not desperate."
"Jumping into a forty degree ocean for a kiss," Kate said thoughtfully, "yeah, I'd call that desperate."
Instead of defending himself Jack let the comment go, laughing as he shook the sand out of his shirt. Looking around as he put it back on, Jack noticed that the early sunset was sinking in low on the horizon, and from many nights spent on the island, Jack knew that this meant night was coming. He found himself disapointed, and for the first time in awhile, didn't want the day to end.
"I have an idea," Jack annonuced.
"Shoot," Kate said, settling down again.
"Let's stay out here for the night," Jack proposed.
Nerves hit after he stated it, and Jack found himself regretting the request. He didn't actually want to seem desperate, and he didn't want to seem pushy either. Most of all, Jack didn't want to rush things. From past experiences, Jack knew that was a bad idea. When he realized Kate was waiting for him to continued, Jack swallowed, and knew he'd now have to with it.
"Just me and you," Jack explained, "for the night."
"What about our stuff?" Kate asked, seeming uncertain.
"Sorry Kate," Jack said jokingly, "didn't know you were the face mask, wrinkle cream type of girl."
"Are you calling me old?" Kate challenged with narrow eyes. "Last I checked, we're on oposite sides of the hill here."
"Only joking," Jack laughed, "we can go back to the caves if you want-" he met her eyes, "but I'd rather stay out here."
Kate knew what Jack was thinking: when he was last at the caves, Charlie had exposed to everyone what had happen between him and Kate. There could be no reassurance that being knocked out for hours would change one's views on that.
"Okay," Kate agreed finally.
That night Jack made a fire, and they hardly moved a foot from where they had sat that day. Most of the night was spent in silence, neither wanting to be the first to fall asleep. It was like a middle school slumber party.
"Think they're worried about us?" Jack asked as the moon crept over the island, highlighting the slow tide and sandy shore in cast of white shadows.
"Well since half of them are missing-" Kate caught herself before continuing, knowing this wouldn't ease Jack's worries, "I'm sure they're fine."
Jack nodded, though it didn't answer his question, the reply was slightly reassuring. There would always be that part of him that would always believe something bad was going to happen.
"Maybe we should go back," Jack said a few minutes later.
"No," Kate said quickly, as she had done earlier that day at the suggestion, "I'm sure everything's fine.
At the Caves
That morning Jack and Kate headed for the caves, both hungry and tired, having spent most of the night awake. As they entered the caves grew quiet, as expected. Wht Jack hadn't expected was for Charlie to be so prepared to lash out at him. Charlie had just entered from a second entrance with the guy Jack recognized as the one with the hurt leg and Claire, though it took him no time to cross over to Jack.
"What the bloody hell's going on?" Charlie demanded.
"Morning to you too," Jack muttered with a yawn.
He attempted to push by, but Charlie grabbed him.
"So everything's all right now?" Charlie said, glaring between Jack and Kate. "Just like that?"
"Charlie-" Jack and Kate began at the same time.
"No," Charlie said, "forget it. But just know that if it had been me hitting someone else- a woman nonetheless- there would've been hell for me to pay. But no, the noble Jack can do whatever he wants-" he glared up at Jack, meeting his eyes with a dark, cold, stare, "and I'm sick of it."
Charlie shoved passed the two to the other side of the caves, leaving everyone in silence. A second person brushed by Jack shortly after, and Jack didn't notice until the last minute that it was Kate. Ignoring the stares he got, Jack chased after her.
(cue music: "I Need You To Love Me" by Barlow Girls)
Kate wasn't able to get very far before Jack caught up with her. He grabbed her arm, careful not to hurt her, and forced her towards him.
Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
As she was forced to face him, Jack saw that Kate was fighting to wipe tears away before he could see her, and his face fell.
"Let go of me," Kate said quietly, and Jack did.
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
"Kate," Jack said in a calm, voice, but not too harshly, "we need to talk."
But it's here I see the truth
"Just leave me alone," Kate whispered.
"No, we're going to talk about this," Jack said.
Kate looked up at him, giving him her full attention.
I don't deserve You
"I don't care what Charlie thinks, or what Sawyer says, or anythin like that," Jack began, "if we think that we can do this and move on- get over the past-" Jack took a deep breath, "than we can."
But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
Kate looked aw to avoid Jack's eyes, biting her lip. Jack could only stand there and hold his breath, waiting for a reply.
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
"All right," Kate finally whispered, "but let's just not go back for awhile, okay?"
I need You to love me
Jack sighed in relief.
"Sure," he agreed, "you want to walk it off?"
I, I have wasted so much time
Kate nodded him, and followed Jack down a random trail back towards the beach. When they weren't even ten feet down the path, Kate put a hand on his arm, stopping him. Jack looked down at it.
Pushing You away from me
"The water," Kate explained quietly.
"Right," Jack nodded.
I just never saw how You could cherish me
"I can go get it," Kate offered.
"No," Jack said quickly, startling Kate, "we don't care, remember?"
'Cause You're a God who has all things
Kate nodded hesitantly. Looking down at her, Jack noticed the scar left from where he had hit her, and closed his eyes tightly. Had the cause of pain been anything else- falling down a hill, or even a fight with someone else- the mark would be gone by now. Instead the mark had scarred like a burn against her pale skin, a burn that haunted him everytime he looked at her. Jack felt a hand fall on his cheek. Opening his eyes, he saw that Kate was looking up at him.
"Getting passed the past, remember?" Kate reminded, offering Jack a small smile. "Moving on?"
"Right," Jack nodded, taking a deep breath, "let's go get that water."
And still You want me
They walked slowly back to the caves, and despite their earlier declarations, hesitated before entering.
Your love makes me forget what I have been
A few eyes followed them as they entered, including Charlie's. Jack looked at him warningly, putting a protective arm around Kate's shoulders, as Charlie did the same for Claire, and stormed off.
Your love makes me see who I really am
Grabbing their bags, Kate took out the empty bottles and began refilling them as Jack began talking to Hurley. Kate heard Hurley chuckle, and smiled, thinking of the stories Jack could be telling him.
Your love makes me forget what I have been
Jack turned at that moment, meeting her eyes and smiled. Kate admited that she had been a little relucant on Jack's plan for the future earlier, but now for the first time, Kate felt truly confident that things were going to get better.
Author's Note: Okay, personally I thought that chapter was a little cheesy but oh well, it's Jate. Speaking of which, I had to rush to finish this tonight because I know we'll all be excited about the Jate ep. tomorrow. Hope you guys liked the chapter and enjoy the show tomorrow night, and thank you so much for reviewing! You guys rock!
Coming up next, on "In the End":
We'll find out where Sawyer is and what happened to Rebecca, and in return they'll each find out a secret about each other..or at least I know Rebecca will. Meanwhile the hatch thing gets creepier, and Danielle, Alex, and Locke return to camp.
Thanks again!
Until next time..
October Sky
