In the End
Chapter Sixteen
Author's Note: It's time to play Fated trivia! Just kidding, but some old plots are going to start being mentioned. It's okay if you don't remember them though, I barely do.
Disclaimer: Some of the Jate in this chapter was inspired by "What Kate Did", so just for the heck of it, remember that Lost isn't mine. But a girl can dream:-p "Nightswimming" belongs to R.E.M.
Chapter Sixteen: Complicated
"You're beautiful," Sawyer commented.
His voice was rasp and slurred, as if he had had too much to drink. In Sawyer's opinion, he had had too less to drink.
Rebecca didn't reply.
"I said you're beautiful," Sawyer said again, this time loud enough so that he could be sure that Rebecca heard him.
Still no reply. Rebecca remained in her same sitting position as she had been in all night, arms crossed and staring dangerously into the fire, as if she was trying to make it jump towards Sawyer.
"All right then," Sawyer said with a satisfying smirk, and looked away.
It had taken all Sawyer had in him not to drink one of the rums that had been stolen from the Black Rock. Hell, he was surprised they were still any good. But he could only imagine the things Rebecca would say if she found out he was drunk that night. A voice in his head reminded him that he probably shouldn't be drunk anyway, God only knew the things he might accidentally slip out. He just wished that Rebecca would say something, or at least look at him.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Sawyer finally asked.
Rebecca looked like she was contemplating a response. Was it really that hard to talk to him?
"All right," Rebecca agreed.
But by the sound of her tone, Sawyer knew he would regret asking. Rebecca was obviously thinking hard on where to begin, and Sawyer was getting the feeling that her whole night of silence had been spent planning out her next line.
"So who's J. Ford?" Rebecca asked after the long pause.
Sawyer felt himself freeze inside out. It was as if someone had suddenly pushed an 'off' button that controlled him. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't think. All he could do was breathe and listen to himself breathe. But Sawyer was sure he barely had a pause. Rebecca looked up at him, as if proving a point. Sawyer tried the best he could to avoid her glare, but there was no avoiding it. His eyes met hers, and Sawyer felt the same feeling of pain, hurt, and betrayal radiating back to him as he had earlier, except this time the vibes were five times as worse. And then he couldn't help but to wonder: at what point had Rebecca realized that his name still matched the man's name in the letter?
"That's what the letter was signed," Rebecca continued, "same handwriting, like a child's-" Rebecca leaned in closer, and when she spoke again, she spoke lower than before, "-who's J.Ford?"
Sawyer didn't reply. He couldn't. Because Sawyer knew that after this conversation, this revelation, nothing would be the same. Rebecca would know that in reality, Sawyer was exactly the kind of person she feared being with.
When Sawyer didn't answer, Rebecca readjusted her position in the sand so that she was laying on her stomach, body just inches away from the fire, and face just inches from Sawyer. Feeling uncomfortable, Sawyer laid down the same way. Still he didn't answer.
"It's just," Rebecca began, as casually as you please, "I find it funny that you have the same name of this man you say you hate, loathe-" their eyes met once more, "- who's J.Ford?"
An eerie sense of dejavu came over Sawyer, and after thinking a moment, he remembered where he had heard this conversation before. It was the exact same conversation he and Rebecca had had over the owner of the book.
"Who's Rachel Collier?"
Well, Sawyer thought, you know what they say about bad karma. The guilt of making Rebecca confess was coming back to him, and Sawyer knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he had made her confess, yet he refused to return the favor.
"I'm J. Ford," Sawyer admitted, at last.
Rebecca gave no reaction. Sawyer figured she had already figured this out. At least she had trusted him on the writing the letter issue, maybe he could use that to his advantage later.
"Then why use Sawyer?" Rebecca wanted to know. "I thought you hated him."
Sawyer hated this. He wasn't used to having to reveal things to someone, or to worry about maintaining someone's trust. The only trust Sawyer ever dealt with was with money.
"I did," Sawyer said, his voice low and rasp.
It was amazing how drunk he could sound and act without actually being drunk. Across from him, Rebecca waited for him to continue.
"I-" Sawyer stuttered, and then stopped.
But he didn't stop because he didn't know what to say. Sawyer stopped because he was stuttering. In all his life, Sawyer couldn't remember ever once stuttering. What was this girl doing to him? Or was it that something was wrong with him?
"I needed some money," Sawyer finally said, "so I went to these guys, and they..loaned me some."
Rebecca winced at the phrase. Sawyer knew she knew what kind of people he was talking about, even if he hadn't said it out loud. That alone already made Rebecca twice as smart as half the girls he dated.
"But took more than I could pay back," Sawyer went on, "I didn't have enough to get out of dodge of these guys, so I had to get the money."
He held Rebecca's gaze as he told his story, but Sawyer could still see her tensing up as the tale grew darker.
"I had no job, so I got one," a mixture of feelings aroused in Sawyer as he continued. He didn't want to move on with the story, but other than that, he wasn't exactly feeling anything anymore. Numb. That was the word for it. "Tricked a woman into going out with me so I could take her money. It was easy. It worked. So I did it again. And again. Different couples, bigger money each time. I made a career out of it. And whenever someone wanted to know my name, I told them: Sawyer. Because that's who I was. I was as low as he was. I spent so much time looking for the guy that I became him." Sawyer added the last part for himself, for comic relief. "Ironic, huh?"
He didn't expect an answer, and he didn't get one. Sawyer didn't want to take the time to figure out what Rebecca was feeling, or even what he was figuring himself. He didn't want to know what she thought about him now. It was always better not to know. Sawyer got to his feet, taking a step too close to the fire for his liking, though even if he had gotten burned, it wouldn't of been the worse thing in the world. Kate and Jack had got back together after Jack had gotten hurt in the woods, maybe the same luck would come to him. And there it was again. The desperation and need to be with Rebecca. It made him feel like a teenaged girl. He noticed Rebecca was watching him from below.
"You're right," Sawyer said in defeat, "you do know guys like me."
Sawyer turned to leave, but stopped when he came face to face with the jungle. He realized that this may be the last time he ever got to see Rebecca again. It felt as if though he were going away to prison, and these were the last words he'd ever say to her. Sawyer really didn't want to leave things hanging, to run, but it was the only thing he knew to do. Yet if he had any hopes of staying with Rebecca, he'd have to change that habit. He'd have to patch things up.
"Sorry I had to let you down," Sawyer said, looking Rebecca in the eyes, "but I ain't no Prince Charming. If you don't wanna be around me, I ain't gonna beg."
Rebecca looked down quickly to avoid Sawyer's gaze. He was sure she expected him to immediately run off, but Sawyer was actually expecting her to say something. And so he waited, and he stared. And when Rebecca never said anything, he walked off. He didn't even bother with the running part.
(space)
Jack smiled as his eyes fluttered awake. For the first time in a long time, Jack didn't mind waking up earlier. It only meant being able to spend more time with Kate. Of course, this would mean talking Kate out of sleep. Readying himself for the task, Jack rolled over, only to find the spot beside him empty. Alarmed, Jack looked around his cave frantically, but it was still empty. He then noticed that his jacket he had been using as a blanket had been replaced with a real one. Jack frowned as he got to his feet, pulling a shirt over his head as he headed out of the caves.
The night outside the caves was cool, and Jack wished he had thought to bring a jacket, but he was happy knowing that Kate had one wherever she had run off to. But why had she run? She always ran, every time they were together. There would be periods of time where she would stop being afraid, or whatever it was, but then something would change her mind. Just the fact that she seemed to be more afraid of the future than he was scared Jack, and he began to wonder if maybe it was him she was afraid of.
"Kate!" Jack called as choose the path that led to the beach.
He knew Kate hated being at the caves, even if she didn't always come right out and say it. Maybe that's why she left.
"Kate!" He called again, this time more desperate.
A sob from nearby caught his attention. Jack slowed to a walk, carefully picking his way through the brush. The sounds of soft sobbing grew nearer, but they also grew quieter, as if someone were trying to hide their breakdown. At last Jack pushed back the last tree limb, and his heart stopped when he saw that the sobs belonged to Kate. Even if he had been suspecting it, Jack still felt heartbroken when he saw that she was crying.
"Kate-" Jack began, stepping closer to her, "what's wrong?"
He raised a hand, wondering if it would be okay to try and comfort her, and decided it was. Jack cautiously placed a his hand on Kate's shoulder, and for a moment, it seemed to calm Kate down. Kate's heavy breathing ceased, and she wiped a tear from her eye. She was still turned away from Jack, but at least he had calmed her down. And then, out of nowhere, a sudden rage came over Kate, and with a muffled cry of frustration, she swatted Jack's hand away, shoving him to the side.
"Kate," Jack began again, this time more softly.
"Get away from me!" Kate cried.
Jack's face contorted in concern. Once again, Kate began crying uncontrollably.
"No," Jack protested.
His voice almost came out in a whisper. Why was Kate acting this way? Had someone done something to her? Jack felt a burst of anger form inside him. If someone hurt Kate while he wasn't there, if he wasn't able to protect her-
"Just go, Jack!" Kate exclaimed, and shoved Jack away once more, her fist slamming against his chest as she let out another sob.
The physical pain wore off quickly, but Kate's behavior still worried him.
"No," he said sternly, "I won't."
"You have to get away from me!" Kate cried desperately. "Before they come!"
Jack's eyebrows furrowed. They? At that moment, Kate looked up to him, meeting his eyes. Jack's heart sank even more, if possible. Kate's eyes were pleading, but also apologetic, as if she had something to be sorry for.
"They?" Jack finally brought himself to ask.
"Please," Kate begged, "I don't want them to hurt you."
Jack had never seen Kate so desperate, and it broke his heart. Something was clearly wrong, and no way was he going to just leave.
"No one's going to hurt me," Jack assured her, "what's wrong?"
He noticed that Kate's fist were still on his chest where she had pushed him away, but never let go. This time, Kate didn't argue. Instead she fell against him, letting herself collapse in his arms as Jack caught her.
"It's okay," Jack told her, letting Kate rest her forehead against him as he rubbed her back in small, soothing circles, "it's okay."
"I was so scared," Kate admitted, choking back a sob, "they were going to kill you."
Then Jack understood. No one had heart Kate, or at least not in reality. It had been a nightmare. Jack sighed in relief, even though he knew Kate was still torn up about it.
"It's okay," Jack said again, "it wasn't real."
"No," Kate said, and slowly lifted herself off of Jack, "they were going to kill you because of me."
She looked up at him, and Jack saw the same apologetic look that had been their earlier.
"Because you were with me," Kate finished, "they said..you didn't deserve me, and that you were wrong for staying with me, and something had to be done about it."
Kate looked down to the ground quickly, as if ashamed of what she had just said. Jack's face softened. So that's why she had run. She was convinced Jack shouldn't be with her. How wrong she was. Jack knew he should always be with her, and didn't want anything different.
"That's crazy," Jack said, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, "Kate..I want to be with you-" he placed his hands on her shoulders, and this time, she didn't turn away, "I don't have a..list of requirements I'm looking for in someone-" he laughed to himself, "my father might, but..well, he's not here." Jack offered Kate a small smile. "I always knew that when the right person came, I'd know, and that'd be that. And the right person did come."
At last Kate looked up at him, her eyes still sad, but hopeful.
"I want to be with you," Jack repeated, "I just hope you want to be with me too."
He didn't mean to let that slip out, but he wasn't that regretful when it did. Jack wanted to make sure that Kate knew that even if she did choose to be with someone else, he would still want to be with her. And that was the truth.
"I want to be with you too," Kate finally said, and Jack smiled a little, "it's just.."
Jack knew the dream was still on her mind. Pulling Kate into a supporting hug, Jack wrapped his arms around her, and he felt her arms slip around him. Kate rested her head against her shoulder, and Jack put a hand on her back.
"It was only a nightmare," he assured her, "you're okay."
Kate nodded, and Jack knew that she wasn't just doing so to make him happy. She gently slipped out of the hug, but instead of letting go completely, gave Jack a kiss, which he was quick to accept. The kiss felt like Kate was trying to pour her soul into Jack, apologize for everything, and let Jack know she was okay. She heard what she had needed to hear from him. Smiling, Jack broke the kiss, and gave Kate a moment to choke back the last of her tears. Then she too offered Jack a small smile. Thinking she had heard something, Kate looked up behind Jack, and her eyes widened at what she saw.
"Jack.." Kate said slowly.
Jack raised an eyebrow, and looked behind them to where Kate was pointing. There in the small clearing, a boar stood, staring dangerously at them. The two froze under the boar's glare.
"That's a boar," Jack finally whispered.
"I didn't notice," Kate said sarcastically.
"I thought you said they'd be inland!" Jack exclaimed softly, remembering their earlier conversation.
"I thought they would be!" Kate snapped.
Jack thought quickly. His instincts told him to run, but his smarts told him that would be a very stupid thing to do right now. They had to do something, but he didn't want Kate getting hurt. And he'd rather not spend the day out cold with a head injury. Suddenly he got an idea.
"Are you still wearing my jacket?" Jack asked Kate quickly.
Kate looked surprised; Jack hadn't mentioned noticing she had taken his jacket.
"Yeah," Kate said, sounding a little unsure.
"That hunting knife from earlier's still inside it," Jack said, now thankful for his earlier stupidity of leaving it end there.
"What!" Kate cried softly, sounding furious.
"Don't ask," Jack hissed, "just get it!"
"Why?" Kate said, voice shaking.
Jack never thought he would witness Kate this nervous under pressure.
"We're killing it."
Kate glanced over to Jack, still unsure. Jack's hand stuck out slightly, waiting for the knife.
"I'm killing it," Kate quickly correctly.
As funny of an image as Jack stabbing a boar was, she didn't want to have to live it.
"No!" Jack protested. "Give me the knife!"
Kate looked from Jack to the boar, and back again. Jack looked like he wanted nothing more right now than to serve that boar on a silver platter. Sighing, Kate gave in, and handed Jack the knife. Jack took the knife like had showed him earlier, and slowly step forward. Suddenly this didn't seem like such a good idea anymore.
"Jack," Kate said, worried, "don't-" she reached out for him, but Jack had already gone too far, "you'll hurt yourself!"
"Sh.." Jack said.
She wasn't sure if he was talking to her or the boar. Jack inched closer to the boar, which was being extremely obedient to him- it didn't even try to run. With one quick motion, Jack thrust his hand forward. Now the boar chose to charge. Jack let out a cry of pain, and Kate screamed as she jumped to the side. But the boar never passed her. A loud cry rang through the air that came from neither Jack nor Kate- the cry wasn't even human. It was the cry of an animal in pain. And next came..laughter?
"Jack?" Kate asked carefully, trying to see where Jack was in the dark.
Once Jack hit the ground, he had entered the night's shadows, no longer illuminated by the moon's light. But she could still here laughing, and Kate soon recognized it as Jack's. At last Kate found Jack on the ground, a couple of feet from where the boar was before(Kate figured it must've flipped him). He was holding a crippled arm, but he didn't seem to be in too much pain.
"Jack!" Kate said again, this time in surprise of his injury.
On the ground, Jack fought to cease his laughter.
"Jack, you're hurt!" Kate exclaimed, like Jack didn't know this already.
Jack blinked a few times, as if he were trying to stay conscious.
"Hold still," Kate instructed, carefully taking Jack's hurt arm with her hand.
She couldn't see anything from the moonlight, and mentally kicked herself for not thinking to bring her backpack. Surely there would've been some kind of light in this. Sighing, Kate tried to think of what to do, and in the meantime, rubbed her fingers over Jack's wrist, which was surely bruised.
"No, Kate," Jack said, sounding excited, "look."
With his good hand, Jack pointed beside him. Kate looked, and sure enough, there lay their boar, barely breathing.
"I think I stunned it," Jack said proudly.
Kate looked at the boar in concern. As much as she wanted to play the role of educated hunter, Kate still couldn't stand the sight of a wounded animal.
"You can't stun a boar, Jack." Kate said sympathetically, feeling sorry for the boar.
The boar's breaths were growing rougher and slower with each moment that passed, and after what seemed like hours of watching it suffer, it finally died.
"So it looks like we're getting some meat after all," Jack said, breaking Kate from her thoughts of the boar.
Jack sounded so proud that Kate couldn't help but to smile. And he did look cute laying on the ground like that. Maybe she could forgive him for his stupidity.
(space)
It took twice as long to get back to the caves with the boar in tow, and Jack was thrilled to find that Locke was still awake.
"Is that a boar?" Locke asked in disbelief.
Kate nodded, exhausted and forehead dripping in sweat as she finally dropped the animal.
"I killed it," Jack said.
The proud tone never left his voice, and even as Kate was killing her back trying to get the thing back to camp, Jack still bragged about his success. Kate was happy for him, but there just came a time when you had to shut up. She, for one, was grateful to be back at the caves, where she could lay down, and try and get some sleep.
Of course, Jack insisted on carrying his prize back, but Kate refused to let him. They wouldn't be able to look at Jack's arm until they were back in the light of their camp, but she knew it was hurting him, even if he wouldn't admit it.
"Wow," Locke said, "I have to say, I am impressed."
Jack smiled. Kate had to look away as Locke examined the boar, talking Jack through the process he would be taking to cook it.
"I might be able to have it ready by morning," Locke said, "maybe mid-afternoon."
"Sounds good," Jack said.
Looking over, Locke spotted Jack's bloody and bruised arm.
"You might want to clean off," Locke advised, "and I'm going to have to move this-" he nodded to the boar, and winked, "don't want the smell getting to strong."
Jack smiled again, and nodded, turning back to Kate.
"I'm gonna go wash off," Jack told Kate.
He gave her a quick kiss, breaking away before Kate could even acknowledge it was happening.
"I'll be back soon," he promised, and left the caves.
Kate felt a little hurt that Jack didn't ask one more time if she was okay, but she knew she shouldn't be expecting so much attention. Jack was just really happy about his first hunting success. She smiled as she remembered the time she caught her first fish. At only six she was able to do so, and after wards Kate and her father had gotten their picture taken with it, and went out for ice cream. It hadn't even been that big of a fish.
"You okay?" She heard Locke ask her.
"Yeah," Kate lied quickly, covering up her deep thinking.
(space)
The ocean came into view at last. Maybe it was because truthfully he was exhausted, or maybe it was because of his aching wrist, but the trip to the beach took longer than normal. Once he arrived, Jack regretted coming, not wanting to have to experience the pain of salt on wounds. Luckily, he thought that most of the blood had come from the boar.
Bending down, Jack reached into the ocean with his good hand, and splashed some water onto his right. He winced as the salt ran over the bruises, which stood out black and blue against the moonlight. Those would be bothersome for awhile. Once the blood was gone, Jack carefully took his wrist and wrapped it around the bottom fabric of his shirt. He exhaled, trying to rid of the pain before people swarmed him with questions and pity. Jack looked around the beach camp, eyes trailing over the sleeping bodies, but when he turned to the right, the site was completely different. Not only was Hurley still up, laying back in the sand and staring out across the ocean, but a fire light was still burning strong, and a single woman sat behind it, looking heartbroken. It took a moment, but Jack recognized her as the girl Sawyer had been hanging around, the one he had kissed after returning to camp with Sayid and Boone. Sawyer was nowhere to be seen.
"What's the story there?" Jack asked Hurley, who jumped at the sound.
Jack was surprised Hurley hadn't noticed him standing there. Then again, Jack hadn't noticed him either.
"I think they had a fight or something," Hurley said, speaking over the waves so that Jack could hear him.
Jack noticed that the normal cluelessness Hurley's voice usually possessed was gone. In fact, Hurley almost looked..depressed. Glancing back towards the girl's camp, Jack concluded that she was definitely crying. He wanted to go confront her, but he knew that Kate would be waiting back in the caves.
"Hey," Jack called to Hurley, "if he doesn't come back in ten minutes, go talk to her."
"Sure thing, dude," Hurley called back.
Jack looked at Hurley, concerned. This distant behavior wasn't like him. It was expected more from someone like Kate, or Alex. Even in the darkest of times Hurley still had a joke to pull, or a smile to offer.
"You okay?" Jack asked him.
Hurley hesitated before opening his mouth.
"Has anyone ever asked you to keep a secret?" Hurley said. "You know, like one you knew you should probably tell someone?"
Jack thought back to the first months of the island, and keeping Kate's criminal past between them.
"Yeah," Jack admitted.
"Well.." Hurley sounded unsure of what he was saying, "did you tell?"
Keeping Kate's past secret was one of his more prouder moments. It had been hard at times, but he knew that having his trust was important to Kate, and he also knew that trust was a delicate thing to lose.
"No," Jack answered truthfully.
His response didn't seem to be what Hurley's looking for.
"Hey," Jack said again, "if whatever this person told you could be life threatening to them, you should tell."
This didn't seem to be what Hurley wanted to either. Hurley heaved a sigh.
"Thanks dude," he said, though it didn't sound sincere, "you tried. Go back to your girl."
"Good night," Jack said, laughing a little at Hurley's dull tone to try and cheer him up.
Turning, Jack walked back towards the jungle, but thoughts of Kate and the nightmare she had sidetracked him, and Jack stopped suddenly ten minutes into his walk, and noticed he had no clue where he was. He spun around a few times, hoping some hint of recognition would come to him. Instead, Jack picked up a sound from nearby, not very loud, but loud enough for Jack to recognize it for what it was: snoring. Curious and confused, Jack cautiously walked towards the sound, searching for the source, which didn't take long to find. Just down the path, sleeping with his back against the tree, was Sawyer. Maybe the arguing wore him out, Jack thought. Sawyer didn't appear to be hurt, like he had been kidnapped, he was just..sleeping. And snoring. Loudly. And personally, Jack thought it was rather annoying.
"Get lost?" Jack asked, loudly enough to wake up Sawyer.
Sawyer jerked out of his sleep, slamming his head back against the tree. Sawyer groaned. Jack just laughed.
"Shut up," Sawyer mutter bitterly.
"So is this like a normal routine?" Jack joked, amused. "Find a girl, sleep with her, and then run into the jungle? Or did she kick you out?"
"Will you cut it out?" Sawyer snapped, running a hand over his face. "What time is it?"
Jack shrugged.
"What're you doin' out here anyway?" Sawyer asked, irritable.
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Jack said, crossing his arms.
He winced at the sudden painful reminder of his hurt arm.
"Me and Rebecca had a fight," Sawyer finally admitted.
Rebecca and I, Jack immediately thought.
Sawyer didn't offer any more. Jack wondered briefly if maybe Sawyer was waiting for him to offer some advice. Now this was just too weird. Not only was it just the fact that this was Sawyer having relationship problems, Jack knew that had things not gone his way, it could be Kate Sawyer was fighting with. Jack had to hold back a scrowl, furious at the thought of all the trouble and fighting to get Kate, only for Sawyer to leave her. But this wasn't Kate, and if Kate found out that Jack just left Sawyer there in his miserable mood, she'd have a fit.
"Well," Jack began, "you're not going to fix anything out here."
"Thanks, Dr. Phil," Sawyer said sarcastically, "I don't need your help."
"Whatever," Jack muttered, and turn to leave.
"So what were you doing out here?" Sawyer called after him.
Either he was desperate for advice, or nosy. Sighing, Jack turned back around. All he really wanted to do was get back to the caves, to Kate, and sleep. Assuming she was still there. Since when did being island leader included giving out relationship advice?
"Kate had this dream," Jack explained, picking his words carefully, "I think it was bothering her."
"What was it about?" Sawyer asked curiously.
Jack realized for the first time that he didn't know.
"I don't know," Jack confessed.
"Where is she now?" Sawyer said, looking behind Jack, as if expecting to see Kate there.
"At the caves," Jack said. Sawyer raised an eyebrow, and Jack sighed. "Long story."
A moment passed, and Jack almost cheered when he realized that now might be his chance to escape. Then he remembered Rebecca sitting alone by the fire, well, now she was probably listening to Hurley's problems, and he began to feel guilty. But surely nothing he could say to Sawyer would change anything. Suddenly an idea came to Jack.
"My wife and I used to fight a lot, "Jack began.
He noticed Sawyer seemed interested at the term 'wife', and Jack just now realized Sawyer didn't know about Sarah. But when Sawyer didn't ask any questions, Jack continued. Recalling the story, Jack leaned back against the tree behind him, suddenly deep in thought.
"I remember this one time," Jack went on, "we were supposed to meet for dinner. It was our second anniversary, and I told her she could pick the restaurant. The problem was, she forgot to tell me which restaurant she chose, and I ended up spending the entire night going from place to place looking for her-" he let out a laugh, "of course, she wouldn't admit it was her fault."
"Why didn't you just call her?" Sawyer asked.
"I did," Jack said defensively, "her phone was off."
Sawyer snorted.
"When I finally found her, it turns out she's at this Japanese place," Jack shook his head, "not only do I hate Japanese food, but our entire dinner was spent arguing. She never did give in."
Sawyer looked at him in disbelief.
"That's it?" He said, sounding both angry and disappointed.
Jack was slightly taken aback. He, for one, thought it was a pretty good story.
"Yeah," Jack said blankly.
Sawyer snorted again.
"So what'd you do?" He asked, despite his disliking for the story. "You know, to make up?"
I ended up getting her pregnant, Jack thought, and it went downhill from there.
"I gave her the necklace I bought and it was never spoken of again," Jack lied, "unfortuently you won't have that kind of luck here."
"Thanks," Sawyer said sarcastically.
Jack chuckled.
"Why don't you just talk to her?" Jack suggested.
"You can't talk about what we fought about," Sawyer said, more to himself than to Jack.
He sounded angry with himself, and Jack realized that he actually felt bad for Sawyer.
"Just give it some time," Jack advised, "she'll come around. She seems like a great girl."
"She is," Sawyer agreed.
Sawyer seemed to be in a better mood.
"But I don't even know why I'm tryin'," Sawyer said, his meloncolny mood bad.
Of all people, Sawyer was the last Jack would've expected to be unconfident in the dating field.
"Do you love her?" Jack asked.
Sawyer stopped.
"I dunno," he shrugged, "maybe."
Jack smiled, knowing Kate would be proud.
"That's why," he finished, pointing at Sawyer, "have a good night, Sawyer."
He turned away, decided to restart his path from the beach, before he could be distracted from getting back to Kate anymore.
(cue music: "Nightswimming" by R.E.M.)
Nightswimming..
Deserves a quiet night
Most of the residence of the caves were sleeping, speaking that it must've been nearly one in the morning. Of course, most of the residence of the caves didn't have to live through the horrors Alex had, and weren't constantly haunted by them at night.
The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago,
turned around backwards so the windshield shows.
Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse.
Still, it's so much clearer.
Lately she had chosen to stay at the caves, and though she wouldn't admit it, it was because she knew there was lots of people close by that she could count on for protecting. Tonight she lay on her side, eyes wide open, in fear of having to relive the nightmares she had lately been having. She stared at the picture in her hands, the one she had from Paris, hoping it would bring some kind of comfort. Instead came the constant reminders of the happiness she could no longer have, and more importantly, the fact that only Alex had survived. Suddenly she wasn't able to take it anymore. She needed to get away. Sitting up, Alex noticed that at some point Hurley had made it to the caves. He seemed to be in a depressed mood, and though she felt bad for him, Alex didn't want to stick around.
"Hey Hurley," she called, and Hurley turned around, "have you seen my mom?"
"Uh.." Hurley said, thinking, "yeah, Dude, I think she's at the beach."
Alex smiled.
"Thanks."
I forgot my shirt at the water's edge.
The moon is low tonight.
As she left the caves, Boone watched her leave. Hurley noticed this, and just shrugged. Why she'd run out in the middle of the night was beyond him as well.
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night.
Just as Alex left Jack entered, and he made to ask what was wrong(she was clearly trying to hide being upset), but was brushed off. As he crossed the caves, Jack gave Hurley and Boone a smile, and walked over to his cave.
I'm not sure all these people understand.
It's not like years ago,
He rubbed his wrist as he leaned against the side of the cave, feeling drained from the events of the night. Jack saw that Kate was sleeping on the floor. It looked like she had stayed up waiting for him. Jack smiled at the thought.
The fear of getting caught,
of recklessness and water.
On the way back to the caves, Jack found himself thinking about Sarah. It was something he hardly ever thought about- she wasn't even there- but the conversation with Sawyer brought up some memories. And then his mind began playing the "what if" game. That day Sarah agreed to meet him in LA for the funeral. She was going to take the flight with him, but she had to sort some things out at work before taking some time off. She was a lawyer now. He knew it was wrong, but the idea of what kind of money they'd be making, had they stayed together, had occurred to them. What kind of future they could provide for Cat..their daughter. What if he had waited in Sydney with her back then? Would they have gotten back together? In some crazy world, would he have still met Kate? Would everything still have turned out okay?
They cannot see me naked.
Forcing himself back to the real world, Jack watched as Kate slept silently on the ground, and smiled. Enough with the 'what ifs'. All that should matter right now was that he was back with Kate, and that things were okay. Well, as okay as they could be.
These things, they go away,
Yawning, Jack laid down on the floor next to Kate, putting the blanket back over her, and adjusting his arm so that it lay under her head. He had been careful not to wake her up, but Kate stirred underneath him anyway. Jack was expecting a simple hey, but instead..
"I love you," Kate muttered softly.
So softly, Jack could hardly hear her. He wondered if maybe she was talking in her sleep. He hoped she wasn't.
"I love you too," Jack replied quietly.
Pulling back some of the hair that was hanging over her face, Jack saw that Kate was smiling, and before he knew it, she had fallen back asleep.
Replaced by everyday.
As it turned out, there wasn't as many asleep as predicted. On the beach, Shannon was one of the ones still awake.
Nightswimming, remembering that night
Sayid was sleeping nearby, and knowing that any minute he would wake up and insist on knowing what was wrong, Shannon used her time dearly. Her time to think, that was. Tomorrow she was going to give Boone back his journal. She had forgotten that she even had it until that morning, when she found it buried under some clothes. Once again Shannon found herself flipping through it, and once again the stories scared her. Because Boone sounded so scared writing what he wrote. Shannon couldn't remember once seeing her brother..step-brother..scared.
September's coming soon.
She had actually spent the night debating about giving the journal back. If she did give it back, Shannon was afraid that Boone would become all depressed again. It wasn't like Boone had any more to do than to read that stupid notebook all day. Shannon smiled as she suddenly got an idea.
I'm pining for the moon.
That was it. What Boone needed was something to do, and preferably something that would take his mind off his jealousy of her and Sayid. Her smile broaden. It was so obvious he was jealous, and part of Shannon actually enjoyed that. She shook herself away from that thought. What she needed to focus on was finding something for Boone to do..or someone to be with..
And what if there were two
Not far away, Locke was laying in the sad, staring at the stars. He knew he had to cook that boar Jack caught, but he was too tired to start. Locke realized that as much as he was out in the jungle, exploring the island and its history, he never really got to enjoy it. At that moment, Locke looked over and noticed Sun sitting by herself nearby, obviously unable to sleep. She must've noticed his looking, and turned, meeting his eyes. Locke smiled.
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun?
Back in the caves, Hurley was still awake. That morning Charlie told him his plans of taking Claire to the Black Rock. He didn't say why, only that they were going and would be back by nightfall, and here it was, almost sunrise, and they weren't back yet. He wanted to tell someone- if something was wrong he'd never forgive himself- but Hurley was afraid Charlie would get mad at him. But still something could go wrong..Groaning, Hurley rolled over, determined to get some sleep.
That bright, tight forever drum
could not describe nightswimming.
After Jack left, Sawyer decided not to spend the night in the jungle. For one, there were too many bugs. For another, as much as he hated to admit it, Jack was right. He really did want to make up with Rebecca. Sawyer just wasn't used to being in a relationship.
You, I thought I knew you.
When Sawyer got back to camp, he found the fire still blowing, and Rebecca asleep. Sawyer was still angry with her for forcing the confession out of him, he was still concerned for her, especially the fact that she seemed to be shivering in her sleep. Slipping off his jacket, Sawyer gently laid it over Rebecca, and settled down in the sand across from her.
You I cannot judge.
Though he laid down to go to sleep, Sawyer found himself no longer tired, and instead propped himself up on his elbows, and stared across the still-blowing fire at Rebecca. Suddenly she stir, and looked over to where he was watching her. Neither said anything as Rebecca crawled over, careful to avoid the fire, and laid down beside Sawyer.
You, I thought you knew me,
Sawyer put a protective arm around Rebecca, who seemed to only be half awake.
"Where did you go?" She asked curiously.
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath.
"It doesn't matter."
Rebecca looked up at him, concerned, but didn't ask anything else. A yawn escaped her throat, and slowly she lay her head back against Sawyer's arm.
Nightswimming.
When Alex finally reached the beach camp, she looked around. A fire was blowing in the distance: Sawyer's. He was with his girlfriend, Rebecca, and they just had a fight. Alex smiled at being able to know this information. She turned to the right, and began walking to what eventually became another set of camps, including her mother's, who was sleeping, using her bag as a pillow. Alex smiled again when she saw the rifle Danielle carried everywhere laying beside her. Personally Alex thought she was too paranoid, but there was no talking her out of it.
"Hey," Alex whispered, shaking Danielle's shoulder.
She felt bad about waking her up, but Alex didn't want her mother to flip out in the morning when she found out Alex had been traveling alone at night. Danielle wasn't as trusting in her psychic abilities as she was. This way, Alex could just claim she explained everything the night before, and Danielle simply didn't remember.
"What?" Danielle mumbled, barely awake.
"Can I stay here tonight?" Alex asked, biting her lip.
Even though she trusted her abilities, Alex really didn't want to walk back to the caves in the dark. One night trip was enough for her.
"Sure," Danielle replied, still half-conscious.
The polar bear might as well of asked her. Nevertheless, Alex sighed in relief, and moved the rifle over so that she could have a place in the sand. She knew she was a little to old to go crying to mom at every bad dream, but Alex considered herself an acceptation. Not to mention Danielle was obviously determine to achieve the mother-daughter bondness thing. Danielle would probably be thrilled when she found out she blew off Jack earlier. Alex would have to apologize for that, but she had the feeling that Jack wasn't really wanting to talk anyway.
Back at their camp, Sawyer was determined to start a conversation. Neither of the two had been able to get back to sleep, leaving them stuck in an awkward silence. Finally Sawyer decided to ask Rebecca something that had been on his mind lately.
"Do you believe in curses?" He asked.
The question clearly took Rebecca by surprise.
"What?" She said, confused.
The photograph reflects, every streetlight a reminder.
"Everyone on the raft.." Sawyer began, thinking of how to word it, "Michael, Jin, Walt..all of them are..you know, dead.
Sawyer found himself unable to continue. Maybe it was because he still blamed himself for their deaths. He knew it was insane, he wasn't with any of them when they had been..well, murdered..but if he really thought about it, Sawyer could trace back ways in which he could've prevented the deaths.
"What's this about?" Rebecca asked him.
She was worried about him, that much was obvious. Great, that was all he needed.
"Do you think," Sawyer hesitated, "I'm next?"
Rebecca frowned at him.
"Sawyer.." Rebecca started, "you're not going to die."
He realized now how stupid that sounded. Still, the words were comforting.
"I know," Sawyer lied, "just checkin'."
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night,
Rebecca rolled her eyes, and then closed them. Knowing soon he'd be the only one awake, Sawyer did the same, not wanting to be up alone.
Deserves a quiet night.
Author's Note: I swear I thought I'd never get that ending done! I think I'm actually earlier with the update this week..be proud:-p. I'm not sure when I'll update again, probably over the weekend or Monday. I'm planning on doing a Christmas fic, but now I don't know if I'll have time. I'll try and start it tomorrow. Thanks so much for all the reviews! Okay, well, the two who came back. Just kidding, I know you guys have lives..um..no offense to anyone with that. Okay, I'll shut up now. You guys rock!
Coming up next, on "In the End":
An unusual, and rather creepy, happening brings together an unusual team of Alex, Boone, and Hurley at the caves, while Jack leads a search party to find Charlie and Claire, and Shannon searches desperately to find a girlfriend for Boone.
Thanks again!
Until next time..
October Sky
