In the End
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Author's Note: I decided to move "Rest In Peace" up a chapter or two. In this chapter, the characters of Sebastian and Michelle(the paranoid, over protective couple on the beach), are reintroduced. From this point on, you'll gradually begin to learn more about them;)
Chapter Twenty-Seven: For the Ones We Love
Night was drawing nearer and nearer, threatening to lure them back into danger, taking away their escape of light. But for some, like Sebastian, night was ecstasy. It was a time of silence, when all others were at rest. Taken for granted by most, night was a freefall chance for relief for those who dared to dive into it. For Sebastian, night was a time to ease his worries, knowing that the world was paused at the moment, and that for once in his day, he could breathe. These moments of peace came rarely for him, so rarely that when they did come, they were unrecognizable, usually grasped at the very last possible second.
But in reality, night would still be a couple of hours away, though Sebastian could feel it closing in as his eyelids began to drop, blocking out the fumes coming from the fire he was building. On the sand sat Michelle, knees curled to her chest, sitting as she always did with her arms wrapped around herself in some kind of self-protection. Stealing a glance towards her, he tried to read the distant look in her eyes. But as always, he was shut out by a wall of past, built up by tortured memories and fear. He turned away. Sebastian hated having to see that look in his wife's eyes, the look that took over something that was once so carefree, living life as if it would always be able to be repaired at a shop, or bought again at the nearest drugstore. Loving life.
His hands shook as he grasped the doorknob, bursting into the room, watching the floor as he went. The room was small, the perfect size for a couple that wouldn't be staying for more than a day or two. Though he expected the room to be dark, the room was quite light, but empty. Panic rushed through him immediately, egged on by a pang of sickness.
"Did you see him?"
Sebastian finally looked up to find the room in the exact same condition as it was in two hours ago: an unmade bed in the center, clothes thrown about. All in disguise, to make the room look like what it wasn't.
"God you scared me," Sebastian said, waving a trembling hand through his rapidly growing hair. He'd need a haircut soon, but he was almost afraid to take the time to stop and get one.
No reply responded to his compliment. Michelle slowly slid out from behind the bed, where she had been hiding in the small area between the bed and wall. She was shaking as well, pale, a hand grasping her untamed hair tightly.
"No," he told her at last, shaking his head, "no, he's not in town."
Breathing a sigh of relief, Michelle collapsed onto the bed, laying against the pillows with her head resting on the wall. Sebastian watched her carefully, contemplating how to approach her or even speak to her. He watched as she continued to look away from him, staring at the blinds that draped over the window. He couldn't stand seeing her like this, so distant, so afraid. A tear escaped from Michelle's eye and Sebastian cringed, taking a first step towards her.
"He won't find you," he began softly, in a well-practiced reassuring voice. Sebastian fell onto the bed next to her, and with a cautious hand, pulled back the hair that attached itself to the beams of sweat from Michelle's fear. "I'm promise."
He kissed her head, taking in the sweet scent of the shampoo Michelle wore, heavily scented, he noted, to hide whatever smell she feared would stick out. Michelle did everything heavier than normal people, the way she dressed in long sleeves, always wearing her long hair down behind her, even though it had the tendency to shed. She started taking two showers a day, staying under the hot water for record amounts of time, never speaking a word when she'd step out, and casually get ready for her day. She wore heavy makeup, though by the days end, it was usually streaked with tears. Sebastian wrapped his arms around her as these thoughts entered his head. Michelle flinched, and Sebastian quickly dropped his arm, settling on resting it beside her. Some things weren't worth the risk. The woman he loved was an emotional wreck, and the worst part was that she had every reason to be one.
Once the last stick fell into the fire Sebastian dropped on the ground beside his wife, not saying a word. As always.
"Hey," a familiar voice said, approaching him, "you guys know anything about what's going on at the caves?"
Sebastian looked up. The man was familiar, unmistakingly known as the island's 'funny man', large but sweet. He couldn't place a name, but Sebastian had seen him around plenty of times.
"The caves?" Sebastian repeated, searching his mind. He pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, eyes watering at the heavy smoke.
"Yeah," he said, "Jack and Kate haven't said anything since they came back. It's like some shrink session from hell."
At the comment Michelle looked up, head turning ever so slightly from where it had previously been focused. Her expression was calm and collect, interested in what the man had to say.
"What happened?" Michelle asked quietly, barely above an audible whisper.
Sebastian turned quickly to his wife, mesmerized by her voice, a voice so distant he almost didn't recognize it. Michelle hardly spoke, never saying complete sentences or even phrases. She was quietly beyond belief, silenced into her own world of horror. Even the man talking to him, who had never spoken to them before, seem to understand the unnormality of the moment.
"We don't know," he shrugged, "I don't know about you dudes, but whenever Jack's not around to keep things from going crazy, they do."
Michelle stared up at the man, as if deep in thought, ignoring the dirty blonde hair blowing around her. At last she stood, legs trembling on the bones, her weight almost too light to support her. Sebastian stood immediately following, reaching out for her, though she only jerked away.
"I can help," Michelle whispered quietly.
"What?" Sebastian cried. "No, no, you don't have-"
"I know I don't have to," Michelle said quietly, watching her husband closely, "I want to. I want to help."
The man looked between the two, and sensing the tension, shrugged.
"What'd you got?" He asked.
"I used to be a psychologist," Michelle began, her voice hardly rising above a whisper as she told her story, "a few years ago-" she quickly looked down, as if ashamed of something. Then she looked up, quickly stealing a glance toward Sebastian, who was still looking at her, telling her with his eyes that she didn't have to do this. "I- I worked with trauma victims, or at least, I was studying to do so..I was wanting to work with police, you know, special victims and officers."
The man nodded, though it was obvious he had no idea what she was talking about.
"Yeah?" He said. "That's cool. So you think you can help them? Cause Sayid was kinda in charge and he sort of..disapeared. So..help would be good."
Michelle glanced back towards Sebastian, throwing him almost an 'in your face' look, on that turned his tight concerned expression into one that was saddened, hurt. Forcing herself away from her husband, trying to ignore the sense of doubt she felt with each further future moment, she offered Hurley a small smile. It was one of the first times she smiled in months.
The airport was far more crowded than Michelle would've liked. She was a very claustrophobic person, and she hated crowds. At the moment a car outside the window of the airport they'd soon be flying out of in Australia was her source for peace. But nearby, a man was shouting, so intense than Michelle herself began to stiffen.
Something squeezed her hand. Her breathing stopped short, and Michelle didn't loosen in the slightest until she looked up slowly, frightened, and saw that it was only Sebastian. He smiled sympathetically at her, though sympathy was what, deep down, she felt for him. Sebastian had given up his successful business for her, to travel with her cross country, even stepping into LA, a place far too busy for someone as low-key as he was. And she was grateful, especially since there was no real reason why he should still be with her. Care about her. Love her. But he did.
"It'll be all right," Sebastian said quietly into her ear. He watched the yelling man for a moment, and her heart began racing, because she knew that Sebastian knew how she felt at the moment. "We're getting out of here. Away."
Sebastian turned from the man and back to Michelle, letting his smile linger. He wanted so badly to kiss her, to be able to show her how much he cared for her. But now wasn't the time. And he knew very well that there may never be a time again.
"Hey, Hurley!" Someone called, running up to them. "Where the bloody hell is Sayid? I mean, of all times, this is when he runs off? Who does he think he is, anyway?"
"Charlie," Hurley said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "dude, this is Michelle-" he glanced towards Michelle quickly, as if checking to make sure she was still there. And she was, her eyes wondering nervously around the caves, tensing at every movement and word said around her. "Bye."
Hurley ran off before Charlie could protest, leaving him alone with Michelle. A moment went by and Michelle and Charlie just stood around, avoiding each other and the situation. But Charlie's eyes fell on Jack's caves, the opening that seemed to haunt each survivor that walked passed it, and somehow he knew that he had to do this. He was in control. Charlie swallowed and shrugged.
"Let's do this then," he said, offering Michelle a nervous smile.
He made to lead her to the cave, but a frantic call from nearby forced their attention away, and for the first time Michelle looked like she knew she was there.
"Michelle!" A man Charlie didn't recognize called out.
Turning, he saw a man, fairly tall and skinny with glasses propped up firmly on his nose, running towards them. When he reached Michelle he grabbed onto her arm to keep himself from losing balance, and she flinched, staring coldly at him, almost incredulously.
"You don't have to do this," he said in one breath, clutching her arm tightly. Michelle squirmed underneath his grip. Noticing her shift, he looked down to his hand, his eyes darkening when he saw what he was doing. Quickly he let go of Michelle, looking away briefly before continuing. "You've never even been up here before..no one's asking you to do anything. You don't need to help!"
A sudden range overcame Michelle, and a hidden anger buried somewhere within her burst out, attracting the attention of quite a few cave residence.
"We're aren't the only ones on this island!" She cried out in a hushed voice. It seemed that she was uncapable to shout. "Maybe I want to help out, would that be wrong?"
"No!" Sebastian exclaimed quickly. "Is just that-"
"And I don't need you or anyone else telling me when I should do so!" Michelle blurted out. This time Sebastian didn't interrupt, instead he sank back a little, looking slightly hurt. "So just leave me alone-" she let out a frustrating cry, closing her eyes tightly to try and hold back tears. The caves were silent now; everyone was watching the two argue. "Please..just go away."
She didn't know where all of this was coming from. As the crowd continued to stare at either of them, Michelle regretted everything she said, but she didn't have the energy to apologize after the outburst. The words formed in her head, but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. Sebastian stood across from her, clearly hurt and offended by her exclamation, but at the same time obviously holding back his emotions. Like Michelle, Sebastian wasn't used to being around so many people at once on the island, and he didn't want to give off a bad impression. But also like Michelle, Sebastian had also become a pro at hiding.
He held Michelle's stare to avoid facing everyone else, but at last he forced himself to look away. Without a word he turned, leaving the caves and ignoring the eyes that followed. Michelle turned to the ground, embarrassed and ashamed. Finally she was saved when Charlie cleared his throat, both out of sympathy and impatience.
"We should probably-"
"Yeah," Michelle finished for him in a whisper.
As she followed Charlie to Jack's cave she felt more regret than ever for sending Sebastian away. Not only were the things she said uncallfor and all in all untrue, but for the first time in literally months, she was alone.
"This is Jack," Charlie introduced, cutting into her thoughts. He pointed to a a figure of a man sitting against the wall, staring at the ground. A cold shiver came over Michelle, and suddenly she began feeling sick. None of them would ever know how close to home this situation was. A woman set beside the man, resting her head on his shoulder. "And that's Kate."
Michelle studied the two carefully, crossing her arms. They just looked so..not there. She swallowed.
"So do you want me to..uh.." Charlie waved towards the door, but Michelle shook her head. Bending down, she took Jack's wrist in her hand, holding it carefully. The skin was rough and bruised, scarred with dozens of tiny cuts. It had to be hurting him, but yet Jack didn't even flinch when she brushed her finger against it. "Can you find me something to clean this off with?" She glanced back briefly towards the medical cart. "Maybe some water or peroxide?"
"Yeah," Charlie said and tossed her a spare bottle of water Jack had sitting on the cart.
Gently Michelle took Jack's wrist and examined the wounds she noticed before. Tiny cuts were scattered across bruised skin. She soaked a cloth carefully with water and placed it on Jack's wrist, watching for a reaction. Nothing. Charlie appeared beside her, kneeling down.
"Here's your peroxide," he said quietly, handing the bottle to her.
She switched ends of the towel and prepared to clean the cuts. The room grew steadily quiet, as if it were a mutual decision to respect of space. Charlie watched as she cleaned Jack's cuts one by one, and each time Jack never moved a muscle. As she cleaned them, she pondered the fact that Kate seemed to be unharmed.
"Okay," she said, finishing with the cuts. Michelle closed the bottle of peroxide and sat it down along with the towel. Standing up, she placed her hands on her hips. "There doesn't appear to be any bleeding. He looks okay."
"Yeah, but look at him!" Charlie cried.
"I know!" Michelle said, feeling herself growing slightly anxious. "I'll help him."
"Yeah," Charlie muttered bitterly.
He watched her as she squatted down again, this time closer to Kate.
"You're talking to Kate?" Charlie said, puzzled. "Why?"
Michelle looked up to him.
"Why did you talk to Jack?"
Charlie didn't respond. Michelle turned back to Kate.
"You don't know me," she began, "but I'm a psychologist-" Michelle decided not to go into much detail- "Kate, what you're going through happens a lot, but you have to understand that whatever happened wasn't your fault-" she swallowed hard, almost tearing up because of how hypocritical she was being, "and I've been there before..and..don't do this to yourself. Things will get better. You have Jack, and I think you two really need each other right now. But a girl it missing, and your the only one that can help find her. So please, please..if there's anything you know..I promise you you'll be okay."
She looked at Kate a moment longer before looking down, resting her arms on her knees. The pause lingered on, and Michelle was beginning to understand Charlie's frustration. But as a student of psychology Michelle knew certain task required a good deal of patience. And once again she was being hypocritical of herself.
"There was a crash."
Michelle looked up, and Charlie stepped closer. Kate's voice was small, hardly a whisper, and spoke to the ground, but she was speaking, nonetheless. She was staring at the ground with a hard, but still slightly distant, stare.
"There was a crash, and Jack..Jack.." Kate began tearing up, and soon she was sobbing. Tears rushed madly down her face, relieving themselves of the wall that constantly pushed them back.
Michelle leaned forward cautiously and took Kate in her arms.
"It's okay," she told Kate quietly, "your okay."
Without letting go of Kate, Michelle looked up to Charlie, who looked at loss for words.
"Who else was in here earlier besides Sayid?" She asked him.
As she spoke, Kate still sobbed into her shoulder.
"Sun," Charlie replied.
"Go get her," Michelle told him.
Charlie ran off without question and returned only moments later with Sun. At the sight of Kate in Michelle's arms, Sun looked relieved.
"Is she all right?" Sun asked her.
"Yeah," Michelle said. She began to get to her feet. "She's fine."
"Where're you going?" Charlie demanded as she slowly let Kate go. Sun was quick to replace Michelle, and watched her as well as she stalked out of the caves, not bothering to reply.
"Turkey or beef?"
Michelle didn't reply. Beside her, Sebastian was asleep, and she didn't feel like waking him up. She herself wasn't hungry.
"Come on, hun, I don't have all day."
The flight attendant was American, a woman of about forty who looked ready for her third pack of smokes of the day.
"I'm not hungry," Michelle heard herself say softly.
She never took her eyes off the clouds outside the window.
"Your loss," the attendant said and wheeled away with the cart.
Just as the food was taken away Michelle heard her stomach growl. Sighing, Michelle continued staring out the window, trying to get her mind off of food.
"Excuse me, Miss?"
Michelle forced herself to turn to the new voice: an older man who was bald. He was stretching towards the floor, but seemed incapable of being able to reach what he wanted to get.
"I'm sorry, but would you mind getting that book for me?" He asked her, sounding and looking horrifically embarrassed.
She heard a few smirks from behind her, and a few people turned away, disgusted. It wasn't hard to agree with them, after all, the book wasn't out of reach for any of them. Nevertheless, Michelle bent down and picked up the book. As she handed it off to the man she caught a glimpse at one of the four titles on the cover: "The Langoliers". The man smiled, took the book, and thanked her, but Michelle was already on her way back into her distant mind, staring out the window once more as Sebastian continued to snooze next to her.
The caves were silent, almost eerily silent. She was sure if she stepped outside that everyone would be gone, but she didn't have the mental or physical strength to do so. Jack's permeant exhaust was rubbing off on her, and as Kate rested her head against the cave wall, holding her hands against it for support, she was grateful for the moment of peace.
She felt so embarrassed, and that was just the beginning of it. Jack was still trapped in this..moment..this horrific moment that she knew would never leave either of them. Tears began to form in her eyes once more and Kate swatted at them, sniffling in desperate attempts to keep her away.
"Knock knock."
Kate smiled slightly to herself.
"Sawyer," she said under her breath, pushing herself off the wall a little.
"Heard you decided to speak again," Sawyer said with a grin, "thought I'd come by to pack up the streamers."
"Cute," Kate said, wincing at the sound of her own voice.
Her tone was raspy, and it hurt to even form words.
"So how's Jacko?" Sawyer was obviously trying to bring a sense of humor into the situation. Kate didn't mind it, but she couldn't decide if she wanted to be alone or not right now.
"How does he look?" Kate said sadly, pointing to Jack.
"Yeah, well if he finds out you're awake, he'll be up," Sawyer said.
Hearing Sawyer being reassuring made Kate think even more about how serious the situation was- and how real.
"Do you think he could hear us?" Kate asked him quietly.
Sawyer paused in hesitation before replying, as if contemplating his answer.
"Yeah," he answered at last, his sarcasm gone, "he knows you're here."
He watched Kate as she studied Jack and then bent down. Trembling, Kate stuck her hand out, and Sawyer watched as it inched towards Jack's face before pulling away slightly. Kate looked down. She didn't want to be hurt. Behind her, Sawyer cleared his throat.
"I've got to go," he said, "Rebecca.."
Sawyer trailed off. It was hard to believe that it was only this morning Rebecca had her heart attack, or whatever it turned out to be.
"Yeah," Kate said quietly.
When Sawyer was gone Kate sank to the ground beside Jack, looking at him desperately. She didn't want him back just for himself, she needed him, and Kate didn't care how selfish that sounded. Kate had grown so used to having somewhere there for her that she felt this almost as betrayal. A betrayal that was taking so much out of her that she wasn't sure she'd ever recover. All of this thinking came in waves, rushing in so quickly that the results of her restless evening began taking its toll along with it, forcing her eyes shut and luring Kate into a haunting sleep.
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what will I be
It was getting dark now. The beach was only lighted by a distant sunray far off the horizon, stretching far into another world. As the castaway prepared for another night on the island, Sebastian sat alone on the shore with his knees drawn up, staring out to sea. Michelle swallowed hard before approaching him.
"Hey," she said softly, standing beside him.
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
"Hey," he replied, almost snorting the greeting.
Closing her eyes, Michelle knew that this would be as hard as she feared it being.
"I'm sorry," she said as tears began to form, "I..I just wanted to help them. I've been there."
"I know," Sebastian said quietly, coldly.
Michelle winced at his tone. When he didn't say anymore she slowly lowered herself to the ground, sitting in the sand beside her. Following his gaze into the darkening skies surrounding them, Michelle took in the beauty of the scenery. She had never noticed it before, even with the countless days she spent starring into it.
"It's a nice night," Michelle compliment, turning her lips up in the smallest, half-smile.
Hopeful, she turned to Sebastian, but he just continued to stare in front of him. Michelle sighed, and turned back out to the sea. She wasn't used to arguing with her husband. In fact, this was the most they talked in months, but she didn't like it. And she hoped things would get better. Soon.
Here's what she said to me
Danielle sat alone on the beach, her rifle beside her. After spending so much time at this camp she let up a little on the self-protection, but now she felt that she needed it again. Her daughter was missing for the second time in her life.
"I'm sorry we couldn't find a trail," Locke said, approaching her from behind.
"Don't be."
After hours of searching they had found nothing. Not one trail, not even one footprint that could lead to her daughter's whereabouts. It was as if though her presence had been completely disposed. But why would that be? Danielle didn't know what to think. She didn't want her daughter to be gone, but they hadn't found a trace of her. Danielle felt so lost that her emotions seemed to be gone after their swift build-up.
"Will find her," Locke promised.
And just like that, the emotions returned.
"Don't lie to me."
She looked up at Locke, meeting eyes with him. Danielle remembered trying to ask Locke about his past, questioning his knowledge of parenthood, only to receive a laugh and topic change. Now she was beginning to wonder just how much they were alike.
Que sera sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera
The jungle smelled thick of lifeless territory, though the dirt that flew into Boone's face as he forced the shovel further and further into the ground seemed to shout at him, accusing him of things Boone refused to believe. Yet at the same time, he had always thought these very same things.
When I was just a child in school
I asked my teacher what should I try
He stopped, pausing to rest his head against the wood of the shovel as Sayid continued to dig furiously beside him, grunting in pain, exhaust, frustration, and anger with each dig. They agreed that Shannon should have a public burial, but Boone secretly felt that it Shannon herself would want differently. Or at least he did. But at least they were digging the grave; the two men that loved her. Two of the only people that loved her. And Boone couldn't help but to think that he was part of the blame for that. He drove her father away, after all.
Should I paint pictures
Should I sing songs
And now even on the island, Boone left Shannon alone to go help out Locke, making himself a practical disciple of the place. If only he pulled himself away earlier he could've been there for Shannon. Then again, pulling himself away caused her death to begin with.
"Do you think Locke will come to the funeral?" Boone asked Sayid.
"I doubt it."
He didn't know why he asked Sayid, or why he was wondering this anyway. What did Locke care about Shannon? He was the one who told him not to tell her about the hatch in the first place. But still, Boone felt some kind of connection with Locke, even through his anger. Locke had become almost like the father he never had, giving him numerous second chances he never deserved and giving Boone his trust.
Here was her wise reply
"He'll be helping Danielle look for Alex."
Boone looked at Sayid, meeting eyes with him before turning back away.
Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera
Sawyer found Rebecca back at their campsite, reading a book: The Langoliers. He tensed up for a moment, though he wasn't quite sure why. He remembered the book was important, but it was like trying to remember where you've heard a certain song before.
When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my lover what lies ahead
"Is Jack okay?" Rebecca asked, putting the book down.
She looked up at him, watching as he sat down and face contorting in confusion as he pulled her closer to him, kissing her. Rebecca kissed him back, letting him linger on before breaking away.
"What was that for?" She asked him.
"Don't talk," he whispered, pulling her back towards him, placing his lips on hers for a second kiss.
Will there be rainbows, day after day?
But once again, Rebecca puled away.
"How's Jack?" She asked again.
Sawyer sighed incredulously.
"He just has to ruin everything, doesn't he?"
Rebecca's eyes narrowed, and he sighed again.
"Jack'll be fine," he assured.
"Good," Rebecca said happily and finally leaned forward again to kiss him. "You should care more, you know."
"If you knew me a few months ago you'd say I cared too much," Sawyer said in between breaths of air.
Here's what he said to me
When Rebecca didn't reply, he wrapped his arms around her, deeping the kiss even further.
Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera Sera
Flames danced around him as he walked through the wreckage, feeling as though he were in a dream. Everything happened so fast that he wasn't even sure what happened. The last thing he could remember was buckling his seatbelt before the plane started going down. And then this. People were still screaming, but their cries for help seemed distant. The whole experience seemed surreal.
Que sera sera
Whatever will be, will be
He couldn't tell where he was as his eyes slowly opened, his head lifting up heavily from where it was drooped to the side. Everything was still dark, even though darkness itself was gone. He was breathing heavily, but from what he could tell so was someone else. Looking to the side, Jack saw that Kate was sleeping next to him, resting peacefully though he knew her dreams were anything but. Carefully he placed his arm around her, and when he looked down, the hard ground told him where they were. They were at the caves. Back home.
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera
Author's Note: First of all, I apologize greatly for the long wait on this chapter. These past two chapters have been some of the toughest to write characterize, because I'm always worried that people our out of character. Luckily though, I think that's understandable for situations such as these. The next chapter or so will be dark, but never fear, there is fluff ahead. And yes, even for Jack and Kate. I admit I didn't consider all the hidden meanings "Que Sera Sera" had in this fic, but cyber-cookies for anyone who caught them..and for anyone who can remember the significance of The Langoliers. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, and once again, I apologize for the wait. You guys rock!
Coming up next, on "In the End":
Boone's not the only one in denial of death as Jack awakes, but a brutal sense of reality will mean some major decision- and scenery- changes for the castaways. Sounds fun, huh? Hehe, well, I hope you'll like what I have planned. Or maybe that 'hehe' should be 'muhaha'..o.O
Thanks again!
Until next time..
October Sky
