In the End

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Two: The Unlonelist Number

"Boone?"

Boone didn't respond. An entire day passed since Shannon's death, and Boone had sat and watched the entire change like a slideshow, never once moving from his spot on the shore. Every dip in the sky, color change, passing cloud, rolling tide, and drop of rain moved around him in slow motion. A rainstorm hit the previous afternoon and another one was due that day, but Boone didn't have the energy to move.

Sayid, however, was taking the loss in a completly different direction, busying himself with whatever needed to be done, no matter how little. He'd gone as far as offering to do laundry, determined not to let his emotions show. Too many unanswered question led up to the events of Shannon's death, and Sayid was convinced that as long as he'd give no reason for inquisation, the curiosity would eventually pass.

The most common task at hand was the hatch, a place Boone hadn't been too willing to go back to after the funeral. Locke's absence shook him so much that Boone contemplated running away for a good, long time, but memories of all that happened in the jungle changed his mind. He'd been fooling himself, Boone decided, into thinking that Locke had become somewhat of a father figure to him: someone he could look up to, someone he could depend upon. But when push came to shove, Locke proved that the past would always prevail.

Nevertheless, Sayid, possibly wisley, took no emotional attatchment to Locke and had no problem with going back to work in the hatch. The virus was still running with what seemed like no possible way to stop it..unless they shut the system down completly. And that looked like what they were going to have to do.

Stepping behind Boone, Sayid crossed his arms as he observed Boone's apperance. Already his neck was burnt red, despite the fact that it was only January. A day on the beach seemed to have mixed effects on Boone, who as used to spending his time in the damp atmosphere of the hatch. Even Sayid's naturally dark skin was fading to a lighter color, though the hatch didn't seemed to have any effect on Locke at all. Down the hatch Locke could be serious, acting as though he was the exectuive and the hatch was his company. Once he was back with the other castaways, who knew nothing of the hatch or its contents, he could pull a smile and a joke or two; just like he'd always been able to.

All in all Boone looked exhausted, as if he needed a break from his misery. No doubt he hadn't eaten in days, despite the hatch's offerings. Though he and Shannon had been close, Sayid had to respect Boone's past with her. What he didn't want to accept was the fact that if there was anything he wanted to know about Shannon, he'd now have to go to Boone.

"The virus has almost eaten up the hardrive," Sayid informed him. He paused for some kind of reaction, but there was none. "What will have to do is wait until it's destroyed the entire system and then start it again ourselves." Another pause. This time, Boone let out a snort. Sayid'd been looking for a reaction, but that wasn't the one he was expecting; he was a little insulted by it. "It's the only option we have left."

This time, Boone actually laughed. Sayid was too puzzled to interfere, letting Boone finally speak up.

"That's all you care about, isn't it?" Boone accused in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Sayid asked carefully, hurt by the presumtion. Should he not try and be the strong one? Especially since Boone was younger than he?

"Forget it," Boone said with a simper, shaking his head.

Once again he fell quiet, staring down at the sand. On the ground Boone watched as the water splashed onto land, hectically as though it were looking for a safety zone. An escape. But in the end, Boone knew, the water would always be forced out to sea. In a way, it was almost a sad thought. All of a sudden he was reminded of Shannon, and how she was always so confident that he'd come back for her. On the surface he'd try and break free, but deep down some unkown consious always pulled him back. But now, there was no going back.

Be careful what you wish for.

"I just thought you should know," Sayid told him, trying to push aside his anger.

He turned, making his own escape, the thought of the hatch's solitude location seeming more welcoming now than ever. It was almost so easy for him to hide that Sayid would smile a little inside, feeling as though he'd conqured a triumph others would kill for.

"Why is it so easy for you to ignore this?"

Sayid nearly jumped at Boone's voice, momentarily letting his guard down. He stiffened a little, preparing himself to turn around and face the truth. An errie sense came over him; it was as though Boone read his mind. When he was finally turned around, Sayid found that Boone was now standing, facing him with crossed arms. Now that he could see his face, not only did Boone look exhausted..but also betrayed. And at that moment, Sayid knew he owed him the truth. Taking a sharp breath, Sayid forced the confession out.

"Because then, maybe I can forget I lost her," Sayid began quietly, "because maybe if I ignore it, I'll forget that I wasn't there to protect her." His heart was pounding with guilt at the thought that horrified him, tearing his mind apart and feeling it with self-hatred. "Maybe I'll forget that I loved her."

Boone's eyes met his now, and the one thing they had in common began resurfacing. The matter was something they could definetly agree on, definetly pity themselves for. Suddenly Boone felt guilty for accusing him, because the idea of forgetting, letting everything just pass, seemed so beyond enticing that Boone was actually beginning to get excited about it, the future. A future where acceptance was only acceptably, and self-forgivness was a must. A future that, in reality, was no where to be found in even the next century. Not here, not on this island. But still, the thought was nice.

"I'll come with you," Boone said at last, freeing Sayid from the awkward silence, "to the hatch. Is Locke there?"

"No."

He felt so relieved at the answer that he almost sighed, but at the last minute, he was able to hold back and follow Sayid quietly to the hatch.

(space)

Danielle hardly moved from her spot at the beach from the time Charlie aproached her from when Locke did the next day. She hadn't eaten, she hadn't slept. She couldn't even be sure she was thinking anymore. It was just all so surreal that it was completly going over her now in waves of pain. Crashing on the island, losing Alex, being found and taken in sixteen years later, reuninting with Alex, and losing her again..it was just too much to think about. Her head hurt.

"Apple?"

A red fruit appeared in the air beside her. Out of the corner of her eye, Danielle could see that the apple looked fresh; it was probably delicious. Now that she was seeing food her stomach rumbled, but determined to fight it, Danielle kept her eyes to the sea.

"Mind if I have a seat?" Locke asked lightly, seeming almost cheerful.

How dare he, she thought. He had quite a way with grieving. Or did he even care that her daughter was gone?

Danielle didn't answer him. Abover her, Locke smiled a little, grimacing at the silence. Instead of sitting, Locke knealed beside her.

"No one blames you," he told her quietly, reassuringly.

Again, she didn't answer. He just didn't get it..no one did.

"I don't blame myself," Danielle said quietly.

It was a realization that she was slowly accepting. After all, Alex died at the hands of a monster. What she was pleading guilty about was not spending time with her, really getting to know the daughter she searched sixteen years to find. Instead she began getting closer to other people, people who kept her from her daughter. Alex wasn't completly distant, after all. It was clear that, deep down, she wanted to accomplish that mother-daughter bond millions craved, but that was something she couldn't do if the other end of the string kept pushing her away. She had let idea of people get to her head. She let herself become convinced that she survived sixteen years here; no one would die soon. She took time for grantid. Relationships for grantid.

"I blame you."

If Locke was at all insulted, he hid it well. Amusment glowed, highlighting Locke's facial features.

"That's quite an accusation," Locke commented, "I'm assuming you think I control the monster as well?"

Cheerfulness still illuminated Locke's tone, sending a chill up Danielle's spine. Why was he so accepting of this? Or maybe this was just a mask waiting to be taken off later..the thought made Daniellesuddenly want to get up and run away.

"No," Danielle replied dryly, with sharp coldness, "I blame you because I wasn't able to spend a last day with my daughter. I didn't get to be there when she was dying. I was with you."

She looked up at him then, meeting his eyes so that she could be sure Locke could see her pain. And he didn't even attempt to escape her look. This kind of acceptance was something Danielle wasn't used to. It was like he was made of steel..this didn't seem to bother him at all. He'd just stand up, wipe off the sand from the knees of his pants, and walk away. Then he'd probably go and ruin someone elses life. It was like some sick circle of life.

"You kept me away from her," Danielle finished quietly, her voice just beginning to crack a little.

As for Locke, this was the weakest he'd ever seen Danielle. Though quiet and distant, she always seemed strong to him. After all, she was still alive after all these years.

"I'm sorry you think that," Locke said finally, matching her soft tone, "it was not my intention to-"

"You kept me away from her!" Danielle cried, her voice rising in a near sqeek.

At last Locke's expression soften, his amusment finally gone. Danielle almost regretted it; she would've rather slapped it right off his face. And if she did say so herself, she had a pretty decent punch.

"Danielle-" Locke attempted, holding a hand out to her as she jumped up.

She didn't care what he was offering anymore. At one time the thought of having a friend made her excited, anxious. And she and Locke had so much in common. It was like he was created specifically for her, and he spent so much time alone that sometimes she worried that he was just a hullcination. But now she knew the truth. Things had been too good to be true.

"Where are you going?" Locke called after her as she head for the jungle, rifle and backpack over her shoulder.

She didn't answer because she didn't know or cared. Was it so much to ask to be alone once more? At one time she hated this idea, loneness, but now the thought seemed just as welcoming as a friend once was.

(space)

Callum's version of the island's computer was much larger than the one he was used to, something Boone had somehow forgotten since his last hatch visit. A hollow roarr echoed through the room as his feet hit the floor, followed by Sayid. Carefully doging their own computer's broken parts, they made their way into the main room, which he was slightly surprised to find empty. The computer still sat against the wall, looking as though it were glued there. White light radiated from its screen, lighting up the room in a brilliant tint. Besides the emptiness of the room, the most noticable absence was the virus from the computer.

"So how do we do this?" Boone asked hesitantly, the size of the computer suddenly becoming too overwhelming to bare in his mind.

"It's quite simple," Sayid began, walking towards the system, "we unplug it, and then we start the program back up."

"By ourself?" Sayid's statement didn't come off as very convincing. "And how do we know there's even a backup?"

Sayid smiled wearily.

"Trust me," he said reassuringly, "there's a backup."

Sighing, Boone leaned against the small part of a table that stuck out below the keypad, putting his weight on the heavy plastic. He stared into the screen, letting himself become engulfed in it. Eventually he forgot to look away, only reminded to do so when his head begin to pound, and his eyes began to sting. In attempts to relieve the aching pain in his head and eyes, Boone squeezed his eyelids shut tightly, but opened them soon after. That was Locke's old trick, he realized quickly, mentally kicking himself. He didn't want anything he learned from Locke to become noticed, not even to himself.

"Ready?" Sayid asked from under the table.

Boone looked back up to the screen. Already he could've sworn the tint was growing darker.

"Yeah," he said with lack of excitement.

Under the desk, Sayid raised an eyebrow, but he decided to ignore Boone's questionable tone, and instead went on with the task at hand. Sweat was already forming on his forehead, dripping to his eyes- and not from the heat. He was well aware of the risk of his decision, and Boone was right- who said there was backup? But his instincts told him this was the right choice, and through the years Sayid learned that sometimes it was best to trust his instincts. He closed his eyes and said a short prayer, the plug that connected the computer to an outlit in the wall becoming slick in his hands. At last he forced himself to carry on with it, knowing they didn't have time to lose. The monster was loose, and someone could be endanger right now. Sayid wasn't going to let what happened to Shannon happen to someone else. With that thought he finally brought his hands apart, ripping the cord from the extension line.

Darkness imediatly followed. Neither he nor Boone gasped or cried out at the sudden change, but instead remained calm. The hatch remained silent. Carefully Sayid slid out from under the desk. Already Boone had a flashlight out they brought with him. He took it, and disapeared back underneath the table, the light automatically falling to the outlit. With another prayer he plugged the computer back in, and the softest of clicks sounded in the air.

"It's on," Boone whispered in both amazement and nervousness.

Sayid himself was on edge, his fingers beginning to shake slightly as he finally brought himself to sit the cord down. This was just fixing another radio or musicbox. Once again he apeared from under the desk, and stood up, ignoring the dust that clinged to his clothes.

At first nothing happened, the computer just sat there in the darkness, blacker than ever. Then it hummed at them, like the sound of an engine starting up. Color flickered to the screen, and a smilie face followed a sudden desktop of navy blue. The smile swirled around, seeming like it was attempting to make its owner dizzy. It almost sucedeed, but at the last moment it faded away. The small show was followed by a number of little dots, which slowly formed a picture: a desktop. A real desktop. Just like one you'd see on your average PC, complete with a background picture of an ocean. Beside him, Boone let out an incredulous laugh.

"Think that's where we are?" Boone asked, his voice filled with more anticipation than before.

"I doubt it," Sayid replied curtly as his hand fell to the keypad.

He wasn't familiar with this type of computer, which didn't even come with a mouse. Even the comand keys seemed to be written in some foreign language. Trying to remember the way the old computer worked, Sayid recalled that the arrow keys conducted most of the amusement. A hard drive icon sat in the upper right corner of the screen, and deciding that's where they needed to go, Sayid clicked on the up arrow. Sure enough, the icon was highlighted, and soon after a window popped up. No other icons were on the screen, Sayid observed. No internet, no email. No connection to the outside world. But if he worked at it, maybe he could create one..

Only one folder sat in the hard drive, unlike in most computers he was familar with. The hard itself drive was labeled 'System Folder', which displayed a sign of sophistication altogether. But the folder inside the hard drive had the name that sent shivers up his spine, making him become more unsure of where they were than ever. It was just a one-word name, but that one word could've been the solution to years of pain and loss..included the plan crash itself. The name just included one word..

Island

"Ready to do this?" Boone said, bringing Sayid out of his thoughts.

His once hesitant tone was gone, and Boone seemed more anxious than ever to complete their computer task. Maybe he was thinking of Shannon as well. As Sayid stared at the 'Island' folder, anger and hatred flared in his eyes. He would love nothing more than to bash the computer and its system to bits to what it did, but as much as he wanted to, he knew it wasn't to blame. After all, the system wasn't even on when Shannon died.

Sayid nodded, remembering Boone's question. He clicked on the arrow key once again, and the icon highlighted before a process timer popped up to the screen. They watched as the system downloaded in slow seconds, offering them nothing but silence in the meantime.

"How do you think she died?" Boone asked quietly as the download reached five percent.

Staring at the screen, Sayid didn't respond. He always just assumed the monster got to her. She was ripped up pretty good, blood covering nearly eighty percent of her body..Sayid shivered at the mental picture. But then again, they weren't there to see it happen, they'd never truly know..hatred arose in him once again. Didn't he deserve at least that much? Knowing how the woman he loved died?

"I don't know," Sayid replied.

A moment of silence past before Boone spoke up again. The download was only at ten percent, so God knew how long they still had to wait. Silence was beginning to feel like a very unwelcoming thing..either would've given anything just to hear a pen drop.

"Do you think she suffered?" Boone wondered outloud, speaking so quietly Sayid had to strain to hear him.

Swallowing hard, Boone waited for Sayid's reply. Or maybe it was reassurance he wanted. Reassurance telling him that it was okay, she probably died instantly. He could do nothing. It wasn't his fault. But as much as he wanted to believe it..he couldn't..neither could. Was she thinking about him? Each wondered. Did she cry out for him? Or was the pain so much that she wanted to die? Did she fight?

"Do you think she felt it?" Boone went one, sounding like a child pestering a parent with inquiries. "Do you think-"

"Boone," Sayid cut in quickly before the next question came, wanting to be free of the horrific thoughts they brought. A long pause passed. "I'm sure she's in a better place now."

Boone let out a small snort. Sayid raised an eyebrow.

"Well, if it has anything to do with sin," Boone said lightly in attempts for comic relief.

Sayid didn't seem too amused.

"There's redemption," Sayid reminded him. "Don't you believe in redemption?"

He turned to Boone, challenging him. Boone stared thoughtfully at the computer before answering.

"On a level," he replied, thinking of his own experience. Sure, on the surface it seemed like he was as good as new, but a strike of bad karma seemed to follow him wherever he went.

A sudden thud from nearby told them someone else was in the hatch. Boone tensed, because as he suspected, Locke entered the room. Sayid's eyes darkened slightly at the entrance, remembering Callum's absense.

"Hello," Locke greeted slowly, staring wide-eyed at the computer as he walked towards them.

"Why are you doing here?" Boone asked, surprising even himself at keeping his vioce steady, not taking his eyes off the screen.

The download was now at fifteen percent.

4, 8, 15, Boone couldn't help but to think.

"The same reason you are," Locke replied, staring at the computer in wonder, "I think."

"Let me explain," Sayid offered, turning towards Locke.

"No." Boone stepped forward, shaking his head. "What are you doing here?"

Shaking a little, Boone felt himself growing more angrier with each step.

"Why weren't you at the funeral?" His voice was now shaky, and his hands were already clenched into sweaty fist.

"What you have to understand is-"

"No!" Boone shouted.

His voice echoed through the walls, a short silence following as it passed.

"I trusted you," he began, his voice wavering violenty. "Where the hell were you?"

No one expected what happened next, even Boone. He could feel himself rushing forward, but his mind felt completly aside itself as he charged towards Locke, the surprise of the attack knocking the man down to the hard floor. There was only one thought on his mind: revenge. Grabbing a knife from the sheft attatched to Locke's beltloop, bringing it to Locke's neck before he could wrap his mind around what was happening. Even Sayid was surprised at Boone's strength.

"Why weren't you there?" Boone repeated, tears stinging in his eyes as he faught to maintain his strength.

Locke looked like he didn't know what to think. Both Boone and Sayid were surprised that he didn't try to fight.

"Sayid-" Locke attempted, desperatly looking at Sayid for help.

But Sayid just stood there, arms crossed in intrest. Boone shoved the knife closer to Locke's neck. Tiny speckles of blood ruptured from the effect of the cool blade.

"Give me on good reason," Boone spluttered.

He gripped his fist tighter around the knife to keep it from slipping further away from his hands.

From no where, a scream erupted suddenly. Locke seemed to regain his senses from the new voice, easily throwing Boone and the knife away from him. Boone stumbled before finding his balance. For a moment he stood there, breathing hard as he looked at the blood on his hands from Locke's wound. He forced himself out of it, determined not to feel guilty, when he noticed Sayid running after Locke, who was heading towards the back end of the hatch- a place rarely visited.

They followed Locke through a narrow hallway, lighted by a flickering emergancy bulb. Like the rest of the hatch, the hallway was dark and damp, definetly completed a resemblence of what you'd think an underground hatch would look like. Before he had time to try and note his surroundings, Boone nearly plowed into where Sayid was standing at a door. The door was old, woodenlike, but not like that of a bedroom door..though that was excatly what it led through. Peering into the room, Boone could see a table with a lantern, complete with old novels. Also along the walls was an opened-ended closet. No doors. With only four simple doors, the room looked more like a large walk-in closet than a homely bedroom. Beside the night table sat a cot, straight from an old infarmary, off-white sheets included. And on that cot laid Callum, gasping in pain as he clutched a leg brace. An angry scratched colored his cheek, and splotches of black and blue dotted his arms, standing out even in the dim yellow light. Locke was already tending to the frightened patient.

"This," Locke said as he began ripping the brace from Callum's leg, "was why I wasn't there."

As Boone watched Locke, who was beginning to interrogate Callum, he knew that this was an acceptable excuse, though he didn't feel ready to accept it. He'd done more for Locke, had more faith in him than anyone on the island, without so much as a thank you in return. Before he didn't really mind, Boone was just happy to no longer be an outsider, but now the realization was sinking in, along with an inner voice snapping for revenge.

"Did you try and change the bandage?" Locke asked angrily.

Taking on role of doctor, Locke reminded Boone a little of Jack.

"No!" Callum exclaimed. "It just started bleeding again!

Callum spoke in a panic, his face pale with obvious worry.

"What happened?" Sayid was quick to ask.

"Shouldn't Jack take a look at this?" Boone heard himself ask, though he didn't think he was feeling any immediate sympathy.

"Jack?" Callum asked, teeth gritted in pain.

"Our doctor," Sayid replied.

"You guys have a doctor?" Callum said hopefully, looking between Sayid and Boone.

"Jack can't know about this," Locke interrupted, grim in determination as he attempted to stop the bleeding at Callum's leg.

"Why not?" Callum asked him, panicing again. "If he can help-"

"Jack doesn't need to know!" Locke exclaimed loudly, making Callum jump.

Locke looked like a man caught in over his head at something, sweaty and slightly panicing as well, very on edge. His hands were already caked with the blood that didn't look to be slowly its flow.

"Let me help," Sayid offered, taking a clean white cloth from the bed.

"No," Locke protested, "I've got it."

Sayid ignored him.

"Where did you get these supplies?" Sayid inquired.

"There's an emergancy kit," Callum answered, speaking more quickly than normal, his accent failing him.

Instead of offering to help, Boone just watched, transifixed by the scene. He couldn't help thinking, maybe this was all Shannon needed. If someone were there for her, maybe she could've made it..

"I'm gonna go check the download," Boone whispered before realizing what he was saying.

Callum's head jerked around towards him.

"What?"

Now he sounded more frightened than ever, like a man who was afraid of the world suddenly crashing down on him. Boone actually felt a little bad for Callum himself. After all, it wasn't his fault his leg was messed up. But he ignored the question, storming off towards the main hatch room.

"How is he?" Boone asked curiously when Sayid imerged from the hallway thirty minutes later.

"I'm trying to convince Locke to take him to Jack," Sayid informed him.

Boone stared at the monitor. The download was at ninety percent.

"And you want my help?" Boone guessed lightly.

"I'm not sure how willing his is to listen to you," Sayid admited. His eyes narrowed. "He has a scar on his neck."

Boone snorted.

"I think he'll live.

Sayid didn't reply. From afar he observed the computer screen which, aside from the numbers, looked like a mirror version from earier.

"How much longer?" Sayid asked him as he began stepping forward for a better look.

"Ninety-five percenty," Boone read.

Slowly he was becoming anxious again. Once the system was back up again, Boone could work at getting revenge.

"You can't blame Locke for Shannon's death," Sayid said to him, easily reading him, "you know that."

"Then who am I going to blame?" Boone demanded, suddenly very frustrated.

"No one."

"You're telling me that you're not angry?" Boone accused. "You're in denial, man."

"On the contrary," Sayid began, "I could say the same about you."

Just as he said it the download reached one-hundred percent, and without hesitance the computer jumped to life once more. The screen exploded into a pixeled green picture. As they waited for something else to happen, the picture became more clearer, becoming the map of the island they were only too familiar with. Boone almost smiled, smirking at the picture.

As expected with the larger screen, the map was larger. It also looked like a more realistic 3D, the island's features lashing out at them, just waiting to be studied. The only difference was that there were no dots wondering around, representing the castaways and the island's other inhabitents.

"What do we do now?" Boone wondered outloud.

To answer his question, a blank list popped up on the side of the screen. Lines were laid out to be filled in, with numbers to organize the list. It then seemed all too obvious what it was for. Names. Sayid swallowed, thinking exactly what Boone was beginning to worry about.

"We need to figure out who's left," Sayid announced, voice stiff though it was clear he was effected by what he was saying.

"How are we going to do that?" Boone asked, even though he didn't want to.

Because filling this list out would mean being forced to accept what happened. It was like this was all part of a mad mind game.

"The passenger manifest," Sayid responded, studying the map in front of him.

Boone swallowed, now more hesitent than anxious.

"Where's that?"

(space)

"Ready?"

"Not really."

Jack let out a small laugh at Kate's miserable tone, gripping her arms so tightly that he had to remind himself to losen his grip every now and then. Nonetheless, Kate turned over test to reveal the single word that would change their lives forever:

Pregnant

Jack let out another laugh, not being able to help but to smile. Because this was it. They were having a baby, and nothing could change that. Kate, on the other hand, didn't seemed as pleased.

"Oh my God," Jack expressed, trying to sound as happy as possible.

"Oh my God," Kate echoed in a much quieter tone.

Taking a good look at her, Jack was given a painful realization of Kate's reaction. Tears looked to be forming in her eyes, and Jack could nearly feel the sickness arousing in her at that very moment. She was forcing herself to hold back a breakdown, Jack realized, but her eyes failed herself. A sob escaped her, and Jack was quick to catch her as she almost lost balance.

"It's okay," Jack promised her, running his hands soothingly up and down her arms, "it's okay."

"No," Kate shook her head.

Her entire body was shaking in violent jumps, and Jack could feel the vibrations from her breakdown as he pulled her close, holding her.

"It'll be okay," Jack assured her, "I promise. We can do this."

Kate shook her head again, pulling away from him as she headed for the cot where se sat down, still trembling.

"I can't-" Kate stummered. "I can't be a mother."

Jack watched Kate as he aproached her symapthetically, falling to his knees beside her. Gently he placed a hand on her knee.

"Yes you can," Jack told her, "yes you can."

On the repeat he put heavy emphasis on each word, which brought Kate's eyes towards him. He winced at her look, so frightened and desperate. So unlike Kate. It just showed how much this effected her, how scared she was. And later she would hate herself for letting her walls crumble.All Jack wanted to do was help her, make her believe it would be okay. Lfting himself up, he took a seat next to Kate on the cot, wrapping his arm around her. Her head fell routinely to his shoulder.

"I'm a criminal," Kate whispered.

"So we won't exactly be the Gilmore girls," Jack shrugged, "but we can pull through." He kissed her hair, whispering into her ear. "We can do this."

Kate didn't protest this time, something that relieved Jack for the moment, and he decided to remain quiet himself. Subconsiouly his hand fell to her stomach, and he only noticed when Kate looked down, staring at his rough fingers.

"We're going to have a baby," Kate whispered in soft realization.

Jack smiled a little, though he fought to keep himself together, wanting to appear strong for Kate.

"Yeah," he replied quietly, "we are."

He kissed her head again, holding it with a hand as he continued to hold onto her, her tears finally siezed. It was hard to believe that only five months ago they met, as plane crashed victims at that, and now..now they were going to be parents.

(space)

"Why can't Jack know about this?" Callum wanted to know as Locke began to pick the bloody washcloths from the nightstand.

Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday

"Because," Locke replied, and offered no more.

Because if Jack found out, Locke thought to himself, things wouldn't get done. He'd worry too much, something one could look at as a flaw. As a leader it was good for him, but Locke couldn't trust the hatch could adapt to that kind of leadership. Not to mention after his encounters with Danielle and Boone, Locke thought it may be best to stay as far away from people as possible. They blamed him, but Locke himself knew he wasn't to blame. And he wasn't. Right?

Suddenly

I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh, yesterday came suddenly

Sayid stared at the computer, waiting for Boone to return with the manifest. Things were hectic again, and suddenly Sayid was feeling as though they shouldn't be. After Boone's attacks and accusations, Sayid was forced to take the loss into a whole knew outlook, and Sayid was starting to see where he was coming from. Yes, he was angry. But no, he wasn't in denial. Yet he wasn't ready to fully accept it. He'd grown so used to having someone that he wasn't sure how to act without that. Shannon had always been there for him to worry about, care about, and no he only had himself. Himself and this damned computer.

Why she had to go, I don't know

She wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

Trudging through the high weeds of the jungle, Danielle desperatly tried to remember where her hut was. Rarely in her sixteen years on the island did she travel these ways, and with Alex, she just stayed on the beach. Alex..the name seemed so haunting now, making her shiver at the thought of it. It was as though she could feel her presence. Was her daughter angry with her? Was she scared when she was dying? The thing she hated the most, as she told Locke before, was that she hadn't been able to be there when her daughter died. And now, now she suddenly felt like she needed answers. That was why she turned paths and ran. She had to talk to Jack.

Yesterday love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

"You're not going. Charlie!" Claire cried as she bounced a sobbing Aaron in her arms.

"Yes I am," Charlie said, throwing maps and bottles of water into his bag, eyes focused in determination.

"This could be dangerous..we're doing all right here!" Claire argued desperatly. "I don't need to be rescued."

Charlie smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes you do."

Why she had to go, I don't know

She wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

That afternoon Jack found Kate sitting on the beach. Knees drawn to her chest, a form of self-protection Jack picked up on over time, Kate stared into a fire she built for herself.

"Isn't that hot?" Jack asked, concerned as he could feel the heat of the flames prickel at his skin.

"No," Kate replied unemotionally.

Nearby a group of people laughed, and Jack and Kate turned to see a group of surviors joking around their own campfire. As they watched one of them turned around and glared at Claire, who was holding a crying Aaron not far away. Jack felt Kate tensed beside them.

"Let's keep this to ourselfs," Kate requested quietly, "for now."

Jack nodded as he sat down.

"Seems fair," he offered.

Kate continued to stare into the fire. She didn't seem very talkative, but then again, what could Jack expect? He noticed some of Kate's hair had fallen into her face in the breeze, and with a finger Jack brushed it back,freeing her vision. Kate didn't react.

"How do you feel?" He asked her, still concerned about her distant apperance.

What he wanted to say was that they needed to talk. That's what they needed more than everything. Reassurance, confidence, and companionship. But talking would most likely mean eventually bringing up Alex..Jack swallowed at the thought of his own breakdown the previous day. He wasn't ready to go there.

"Okay," Kate replied with a shrug. She was silent for a few moments before continuing, her frightened apearance returning, and her words confirmed why. "I'm scared."

Jack looked at her, admiring Kate's admition.

"I know," Jack said, "I am too."

His shoulder was there for her to lean on, but Kate just continued to stare at the flames. Jack felt slightly hurt for a moment, but he quickly got over it. One thing he kept reminding himself was that Kate would need her space.

Yesterday

love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Kate chose to stay at the beach last night, and though he wasn't willing to leave her alone, she insisted that he give her some time. He went back to his caves where he busied himself by cleaning up some. The place was a mess, due to recent negletence of, well, everything. Even himself. As he entered he noticed a castaway munching on a mango, and his stomach grumbled in painful churns, reminding him that he'd eaten only a bite of orange in the past few days. He made mental plans to find something and eat with Kate later. Now he too felt like he just wanted to be by himself for a while.

The thought was beginning to becoming too overwhelming as time passed on. They were going to have a baby. But most importantly..he was going to be a father. And that scared the hell outta him. It wasn't that he wouldn't be able to watch his son play little league, or take him to his first day of kindergarden(though that hurt too), but it was the thought of his own father.

"Oh," Boone's voice said from the cave's entrance, jerking him out of his thoughts, "sorry man, I'll come back later.

Looking up, Jack noticed Boone looked slightly pale, like a deer caught in headlights.

"It's okay," Jack said, "what did you need?"

Boone looked thoughtful for a moment, as if was considering saying something, but in the end he shook his head.

"Nothing," Boone said, clearly lying, "night."

With a small wave he left, leaving Jack alone in the caves. Jack stared down at the medicine capsul he was holding, and realized that, ironically, the pills belonged to Boone. He considered going after him, but his own thoughts protested. Parenthood was engulfing him already, and the fear was becoming more than he could've ever imagine. Then again, he'd been through this before. Almost, anyway. But this time, he knew they'd worked to hard to just end things. This time, he wasn't going to screw up. This time he was going to be there for his child. This time, he was going to be a dad. And Jack couldn't help but to smile at the thought.

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews! FYI I have a new story up called On An Island(http/ but this won't effect the completion of "In the End". Thanks so much for reviewing! You guys rock!

Coming up next, on "In the End":

Someone joins Charlie on his mission to get rescued, and Sawyer's forced to face the horrific return of his past.

Thanks again!

Until next time..

October Sky