In the End

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Thirty-Nine: As Fate Would Have It

If he said he didn't do things on instinct, that would be a lie. Relying on instincts was something he was personally infamous for, though he would like to say he could make decisions based on long-term thinking. Don't get him wrong, he concidered consequences, made the list of pros and cons, broke it down, but when it came to it, things on his watch were done on instinct. On the island, it was simply because things happened too fast to sit down and talk things out- most of the time- but now, instincts were what brought him here, to this shop, and why he was standing in front of this glass case. He had once told Kate that they couldn't get married because they didn't have any rings. The idea seemed riddiculous, to try and form a wedding on an island. So he always put things off until they were to get rescued- not that Jack stayed up nights considering how he'd propose. But now that they were rescued, would Kate expect that from him? Would she want it, using it for a way to feel safe, so she could really know that someone would be there for her despite his obvious commitment? The questions turned his mind in circles as he stared down at the selection of diamonds and rings, embarrased to admit that he could afford most of this. Embarrased to admit that he was thinking about wedding rings when the one that he loved was dead. They weren't rescued. He was. But his mind managed to linger back to the present just in time to spot a jewlery store, pull over, and walk in without thought. This was something he needed to do, Jack decided, for himself.

"So who's the lucky lady?"

Jack looked up to meet eyes with a smiling sellsman, whose nametag said 'Jeff'. Jeff was wearing formal attire, dress pants and a matching suit jacket; and there was no doubt in Jack's mind that this man could afford these rings as well. Or at least he would be able to, were Jack to make a deal. And he'd never get out of it. Jack offered the man a small smile.

"Just someone," he replied simply, almost no emotion in his voice.

Jeff gave out a blunt snort. Jack had a feeling that he was the kind of man who liked to make assumptions about people, especially his customers.

"So when's this lucky someone going to get asked?" Jeff asked curiously, the smile back on his face. It was almost errie how he could be so happy to see this man he had never met.

Jack half-heartly shrugged.

"I don't know," he admited, slightly embarrased at how his behavior was coming off. Usually he would have be more polite, or at least likeable, but he was finding faking emotion hard at the moment.

"Well if you need any help," Jeff said, already taking a step back towards his office, "let me know."

Jack almost let him walked off, relieved of his departure, thinking that were he to change his mind, on instinct, like always, he'd be able. At least now he had a choice. But as he looked back down to the collection of jelwrey, the sizes and prizes and examples of engravings, Jack suddenly felt hoplessly lost.

"Actually-" Jack began. Jeff smiled. "What would you recomend for..." he fought for a description of Kate. He couldn't flat out say 'a criminal'. A tomboy, maybe? But he'd only seen her on the island, where they had no choice but to show off their survival and outdoor skills.

Jeff's smile softened, sympathetic.

"Where's this lucky someone from?" The way he kept saying 'lucky someone' was beginning to annoy him. No, she wasn't lucky. She was dead. Or worse. He didn't even know. Alex had still been alive- painfully, hardly conscious, but alive, nontheless- after she had been taken. But he'd never know.

Jack considered the question. He couldn't remember Kate ever telling him, but he could rule out certain states and cities right away. L.A., for one. New York. Florida. Despite the requirement of adventure that came with being stranded on an island, there was certainly a part of Kate who loved being outside- in Sawyer's words, 'the wild'. He just couldn't picture her in a big city, not when she was younger, at least. She had, after all, mentioned a father who once who taught her to track. That was in Washington, but somehow, thinking back, he couldn't picture that as a permanet location either. Then again, they both knew she wasn't the one to stay in one place.

"Kentucky," he decided suddenly. It was a fair guess. She didn't have a thick accent, but he could see it. Rural, but not too in the middle of nowhere.

Jeff gazed at the cases around him thoughtfully. Rays from the diamond's coverings bounced off the walls, hilighting the deep yearning in the man's eyes- a yearning for wealth. But yet there still seemed to be hints of simplicity, a part of him that understood what it was like to be in love, to be so confused about what was happening...maybe with the decisions included, or money.

"If you don't mind me asking," Jeff began, "how much does this person have? Are they very rich?"

Jack's cheeks burned in embarrasment at his silence that followed. Another answer he didn't know. She didn't come across as the type who came from a rich family or who once had a good-paying career. In fact, she almost came off as the very opposite, someone who knew the value of a dollar, someone who worked hard for every penny and nickel they made; and lastly, someone who took pride in their work, though they'd do whatever they had to do to begin with. They'd never admit that pride, and probably weren't recognized for it, unlike Jack, who at one point was being begged for interviews regarding every surgery he did, wanting to know everything about him. Not that he liked it, though at first it was nice to be praised for his work, for once.

"You see," Jeff began in explination, "you don't want them to think that you think you need to buy their love, or maybe that you feel you need to give them what they may never had, in terms of money." He winked at Jack, and suddenly Jack wished he'd let the man go back on his break. "So for our more simple ones, I'd suggest something from this selection." Moving along an isle of diamand necklaces, sparkles dancing across the walls opposite of them, glistening in their worth. They stopped at a smaller case, possessing more simple-looking jewlery. "Don't judge a book by its cover," Jeff warned, "these are pricey."

Jack swallowed. It was true that he could afford most of these, but he sitll hadn't been informed about work. For all he knew, he was out of the job. Even if he wasn't, Jack didn't know if they'd let him go back so soon. He may not get paid for months. But, still, he did feel that need to buy the best, but not to impress or show off. But because she truly deserved it...were Kate to actually be there.

"How much are we talking about?" Jack inquired nervously.

Jeff smiled slyly, and told Jack a number. It wasn't that bad, but Jack hadn't thought about spending that much money in months, not since he had to pick out the coffin for his father. Then he was in a fit of debates, contemplating between really just wanting to get it all over with and- even in his death- wanting to do what was best for his father...what his dad would want him to do, what he'd approve of. But this was different. Kate hardly expected anything of that sort from him...the decision was his and his alone. So, running his eyes over the case one last time, Jack's finger landed over a single diamond, simple enough and simple enough in size to be considered a good choice. Good enough to be considered perfect to at least him. A single ray of sparkle shined from its side, unlike the others, which shined every which way, certainly showing off, begging to be bought. But this one, set aside in this way, quietly sat alone, unnoticed, despite its perfect features and personality. There was just that one mistake that would brand it forever. So Jack picked it. Jeff raised an eyebrow, but Jack nodded anyway, taking a deep breath as the salseman reached into a pocket, taking out a chain of keys.

(Space)

The whole floor reaked of blood and sweat. No one would tell him what happened, and there was a long list of patients he wasn't allowed to visit. Including her. The room he stood in used to be white, but after many years of use and many newer versions of technology shuffled in and out, the color faded. Small in size, the room wasn't meant for a long-term patient, and Jack couldn't help but to wonder where all these short-term patients would go after their stay. How they'd build their lives back together.

A constant beeping would bring him back to reality. He would surprise himself by actually dozing off, a reminder of all the sleep he hadn't been getting the past few days. He hated catching a glimpse of himself in an occasional glass door; heavy circles of dark blue circling his eyes like he'd been on the losing side of a bad fight. And he had been. A fight for peace. But he had pleanty of thoughts to keep himself occupied. Pleanty of worries, pleanty of concerns. Pleanty of reasons why he didn't want to leave this room. He'd always felt that not confronting the situation would somehow make it unreal, non-exsisting. And this was a bad situation. His ears listened and he'd constantly be on a watch out of the corner of his eye, expecting every moment for cops to rush through the hall, grab her and take her away. She wouldn't be given a chance. It wasn't even fair, she didn't have a fighting chance in her condition to run. It was almost like they'd planned it this way, that this whole thing was a big set up to catch their most dangerous criminal, despite how she may have changed. To them, all that mattered was what you've done. Nothing else. They wouldn't care about what she has now, or their relationship. They'd laugh at that. Tell him he could do better, that he didn't deserve her. It'd just be another way of someone else trying to control his life, because apparently he couldn't have a say in anything.

In his hands, his fingers played with the small case in his hand, tiny in size, just big enough to hold a set of earrings. Or an engagment ring. Every now and then Jack would prop it open, peak inside, stare at it for awhile, and snap it shut before he could go any further. Now he was really in trouble. He didn't want to scare her...he didn't want to place commitment on her in a place she would always run from, never be comfortable in. He didn't want to force this decison on her when she had so much on her shoulders, so much that was uncertain. But he knew he wouldn't be able to just let the ring sit there for so long, unused. Staring at him. Mocking him, as it was now. With a finger, Jack once again slid open the case. The ring stared back up at him, its single string of sparkle dancing towards his eyes. He blinked. Would it be good enough for her, were he to actually, in some crazed instinct, ask her? Would she expect more from him now, now that there was more to offer, more possibilities? Or would he really scare her, send her running?

Painfully, someone groaned. The case snapped shut before Jack could think to close it, and he quickly shoved it into his pocket, looking over to the bed that was in the room. His foot fell from where he'd been resting it on the wall opposite of him. This would be the first step to confronting the situation. Somehow, others had been found. Somehow, Jack had been able to convince them to search again. And somehow, they had been wrong before. Surprsingly, though, it didn't even shake his faith that the rescue crew was wrong. They were the ones you looked up to save you, to be there when you needed them. But, on the island, Jack learned that depending on someone was risky, no matter how trustworthy they were. There was always a chance something would go wrong, that you were on your own. And you had to be prepared for it.

But now he had to prepare what he'd say to this person waking up and every other person he encountered afterwards.

"Great."

Jack had to snort at Sawyer's entrance. Part of the reason he chose to visit Sawyer first was that he knew the comic relief he always provided would do him good, but if he needed to, he could mention the situation with Kate as well, and Sawyer would, hopefully, be just as concerned as he.

"What?" Jack dared to ask.

Sawyer had closed his eyes, easing back into the pillows behind his head in pain.

"Just thinkin' about how lucky I am to have you as my angel of death."

He couldn't help but to laugh, though he had to wonder...Jack had just assumed everyone knew they'd been rescued.

"You're not dead," Jack informed him

Sawyer turned his head over, wincing at the movement. Jack's eyebrows furrowed. The nurses had all acted like everyone had been through some traumatic catastrophe...which they had...but recently, for the most part they had been fine. Physically, at least.

"Then why the hell are you here?" Sawyer inquired. He sounded like he hadn't slept for a week and looked far worse in health than he had the last time Jack saw him. Finally opening his eyes again, Sawyer's eyes danced around the room in confusion, landing on Jack, looking for answers. "Where the hell are we?"

Jack looked down at his shoes, stuffing his hands in his pockets. There was one thing they never expected to have to consider: what if they didn't want to go home? But rescue had come so quickly, literally sweeping them off their feet, that they had no choice. And now they had to live with it.

"We were rescued," Jack admited, smiling a little as he laughed at himself, for no apparent reason. It just felt so weird saying it...they were home. Even though it may not feel like it. "You're home."

Sawyer only took a moment to consider this. He didn't seem thrilled nor disapointed. In fact, he was concerned.

"Rebecca?" He asked weakly.

At least he had one good piece of news to deliver.

"She's next door."

In relief, Sawyer sank further back into the pillow. For a long pause he stared into the ceiling. Questions burned through Jack's mind, waiting to be asked: what happened, how much did they know? Why didn't they come when he yelled before, at the island? But he kept his mouth shut, resting his foot against the wall opposite of him, feeling restless, drained. He still needed to talk to his mother, he knew, he owed her that. Deep down, he didn't fully believe that, but seeing how she was today, broken down, horrified, it changed something in his mind about her. A new sympathy developed within him for her. After all, she had lost her husband and- assumingly- her son, all in one week, even if she hadn't always had her heart with them. But he also had to talk to Kate. Especially she deserved that.

"Why aren't you with her?" Sawyer wondered outloud, closing his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week. But Jack's mind was on the question, and he wasn't sure how to answer. He could lie, say that he already saw her, but he didn't. It just hit him that Kate might not even be alive. After all, they wouldn't let him see her. If he was desperate enough, he supposed he could've, but truthfully, Jack wasn't sure even then how to confront her. He wanted to, badly. He wanted so badly to feel that relief, knowing that she was still there. But part of him was afraid. He couldn't save her. He hardly tried. He feared she'd be angry with him, furious. And he didn't know if he could be strong enough to except that.

"I couldn't," Jack admited, ashamed of his answer. He hated it when he couldn't be the strong one, when he wasn't able to take it. If he was supposed to be the hero, he should be able to. He should be able to prove his father wrong.

Sawyer didn't seem to register the answer; Jack couldn't even be sure he'd heard him. Now that he thought about it, Sawyer almost looked drugged. He wondered if they brought him in unconscious, or if he'd been so excited about rescue- or maybe delarious- that they had to drug him.

"What did the doctors say?" Sawyer asked wearily.

He too quickly assumed he was talking about Kate.

"They didn't say," Jack replied truthfully, and regrefully. Right then he considered definetly going to see Kate next. He wanted to see her for himself and to know what to say. He hated not knowing what to say.

"I meant about me," Sawyer retorted bitterly. He held his eyes shut tight for a moment, as though he had a headache.

Jack smiled wearily.

"They said you've got to stay off that ankle for a week," Jack remarked with a smirk.

Sawyer didn't reply, his eyes moving past Jack, out the window built into the door Jack was beside. Vacantly he stared into it, watching as people shoved past each other in the hallway, desperatly searching for their missing loved ones, ready to bring them home. Suddenly Jack felt a pang of guilt for Sawyer...he'd made it pretty obvious that no one was looking for him. No one would be here, grateful for his return, crying and holding them to make up for six months worth of missing moments.

"How's Rebecca?" Sawyer asked, still gazing out the window. Jack briefly contemplating shifting positions so he could get a better view out.

"They said she's fine," Jack knew ahead of time that he'd be asking about her and checked with the doctors before he went to see him. "But she wouldn't tell them what happened."

Sawyer watched for more answers in Jack's expression, obviously having difficulty focusing.

"The kidnapping?" He inquired uncertainly.

Jack shrugged.

"I don't know" he answered truthfully, watching the floor grimly. They wouldn't tell him much about anyone, just that they found mostly everyone he talked about. They believed him now.

Squeezing his eyes shut tightly before reopening, Sawyer sat up in the bed. Jack noticed he was still wearing what he was last seen wearing on the island.

"I'm gonna go see her," Sawyer announced, determined. Apparently he wasn't aware of hospital rules, Jack noted. Sawyer glanced to him. "And I swear if you say one more thing about my ankle..."

He stopped, noticing a wire attatched to his arm, where they'd taken some blood. Sawyer frowned at it, at first confused, then angry.

"What the hell is this?" He demanded, looking to Jack.

Jack couldn't help but to smirk at his cluelessness.

"Looks like they took some blood," Jack commented.

Sawyer scrowled, tugging on the wire but unable to pull it out.

"Can you help me with this?" He asked bitterly.

Jack shook his head.

"You're not my patient," he replied honestly. In fact, he'd been restricted from working on any of the survivor's injuries or wounds. Which included Kate.

Sawyer stared at him incredulously.

"You're the doctor!" He complained. He sounded like a child who hadn't had their daily nap.

Jack shrugged, and Sawyer bitterly sank back into the bed. He was quiet for a few minutes, but he wasn't through asking questions.

"When are you going to go see her?" He asked him, watching Jack for an answer.

Jack's shoulders sank at the question.

"I don't know," he replied simply, wearily. He himself needed some sleep, though he knew even now he wouldn't be getting to for a long time...not peaceful rest, at least.

Sawyer ignored the answer, like he'd never asked, but he didn't switch subjects, but Jack wasn't surprised: everyone wanted to know about Kate.

"Where the hell were you?" Sawyer inquried, eyebrows furrowing, "What the hell happened?"

Jack looked up at him. Maybe now he'd get to ask some questions.

"I screamed-" he cut himself off, changing his wording, "I shouted for hours-" he looked down to the floor, concentrating hard on it to help keep his voice steady, to help tell the story. He shook his head. "No one came."

Sawyer watched him for a moment before replying:

"No one heard you." Jack looked up at him, meeting the confusion in his eyes. Sawyer's voice softened, becoming less demanding. "What happened?"

He stared at the ground again, swallowing hard, gritting his teeth. Right then, more than ever, he wanted her to be alive. He couldn't go through with this. The countless people asking over and over what happened, would he be alright...telling him it would be alright. He was already starting to go through it with his father, and he didn't want to with Kate. Especially not when only a scarce few would actually be concerned. Kate was a criminal. In their eyes, the people he'd crossed so far, she didn't deserve the memoric sympathy, and he didn't deserve the concern; to them, it was wrong to fall in love with her. In this world, that wasn't correct.

He swallowed hard before answering, whispering, speaking low enough so that his broken voice could hardly be detected:

"It got her."

He didn't look at Sawyer for a reaction or response. Silence floated in the room in a dead orb, anticipating the next comment made. Instead, there was a knock at the door. A nurse with brown hair, a dark brown tan, and a smile greeted him.

"Dr. Shephard?" She asked, speaking his name with excitment and a soft smile. "You can see her now."

(space)

He was watching her. Watching her through the glass just as his mother, who was standing next to him, watched Jack himself earlier. Except he wasn't crying. He couldn't bring himself to shed a tear. He had to be strong for her, which was why he had yet to step in her room. If he went in there and sat down, coming face to face with his ultimate failure- what would've been failure- and everything that came with it...how he almost came to accept it, the way he had, that was. What was going through his mind just hours earlier. And just seeing her laying there, knowing that it was possible that he couldn't save her. Maybe they were right. He always needed to save someone. But this was Kate. And his child. Honestly it was hard to say what was more of a failure, not being able to save someone else or not being able to save yourself. There was so much guilt that came with not being able to save someone else, the endless wonder of what could've been with them. But when you couldn't save yourself...when you couldn't save yourself you had nothing. No hope. No comfort. Definetly no faith.

But what happened when both failures met, became the same? What if not being able to save someone else meant not being able to save yourself? What did you do then?

He knew. You sat. And waited. You watched, and you let it all go through. There's no dealing with it, only acceptance. And then there was pain. There were regrets, there were flashbacks. A never-ending, on-going lasp of memory. And you let it go through. Because there was nothing else left.

And that was exactly what he was doing right now.

"That's her," his mother said at last.

Jack was shaken out of his thoughts, angrily jerked from the wheel of acceptance rolling through him. Now Jack found himself staring not through his memories, but at her. At her scars and wounds, the machines she was hooked up to- more than the rest. Multiple monitors controling breathing, blood loss, heartrate. Helping her live because he couldn't.

"That's her," Jack repeated solemnly.

His mother didn't have to say her opinon. She disaproved, but not because of what Kate was, but because of who Jack chose, who her son fell in love with. It bothered her that this was the 'kind of person' that his heart lay in, that would be bringing yet another soul into the family. It bothered her that he hadn't found better, had put himself through so much trouble. She'd heard the stories, or at least brief drafts of them, how he and Kate came to be together. It had been a rocky road, but for Jack, that didn't mean anything now. Of anything, it confirmed something. No regrets. This was what they wanted. Though they would've prefered to at least wait on the child part, this was what they had wanted. It was like becoming a doctor, you had to have passion for it in order to get through all the obstacles. When you finally achieved what you wanted to be, when you received your first award or got your own office, or just seeing the smile on the face of someone you helped, you knew that was what you wanted, and you were damn proud to be there.

"She has nice hair," his mom commented flatly, with no real emotion at all. She reminded him, at that moment, of Danielle, how she never revealed much emotion, but somehow, you still got the picture.

Jack had to smile a little at the compliment. It was true. Even lying there, covered in blood, cuts, and with scars etched into her skin, hair a mess and entangled, there was still that natural beauty about her she always had. And as corny as it sounded, it wasn't just pysical beauty. Just knowing what she'd been through, what she had been able to move past, was beauty enough. He had such hard times dealing with things that he simply just let it be. But that didn't mean that they'd go away. Just letting it in, accepting it all, would eventually take its toll on him, bringing him down again. But with Kate...she hardly ever went down. Scarcely did she break down, while it seemed like he was on the verge of one everytime he opened his mouth. With this, she'd been able to help him through so much, but Jack was beginning to feel guilty for never really being able to return any of it. Even after her breakdown just recently, he'd been absent most of that day. How could he have done that to her? Being on that side of the tracks, Jack knew that, deep down, she didn't mind him being there. She needed for him to be there.

"Yeah," Jack finally replied, "she does."

They both continued to watch Kate through the glass wall that seperated them, offering them view into the room she lay in. She had yet to regain conscious, and while Jack planned on being there when she did, he still didn't know if he was ready to go in. There was really just something about seeing her like this that made him unsure, almost uncomfortable. But he had to go. He had to be there for her. With that, Jack made a sudden movement towards the door. His mother watched him, watching as his hand hoavered above the handle, hesitant, his eyes watching, full of more emotion than she knew he had.

"Can you not watch?" Jack said at last. It would be a little awkward to have someone, let alone his mother, watching him while he sat in there with Kate.

A smile played at his mother's lips.

"Do I embarras you?" She teased, though, again like Danielle, she was simple about it.

Jack's cheeks reddened, and his lips turned up in the slightest smile. He didn't reply. It wasn't fair, he knew, for him to send her away, but as much as he hated to admit it, he had a feeling that she wanted to talk to him more than he wanted to talk to her. And it wasn't meant to be a selfish feeling, it was just that his mom had never really been there for him. To suddenly have her in his life again was just another change his mind would have to learn to accept. And he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"I'll wait for you," she offered quietly, stepping aside as she disapeared down the hall. Jack's eyes followed her momentarily, offering him a pity excuse to further his hestiance about opening the door, stepping inside, seeing her again. His mother quietly faded into the mass of survivors in the hall. There seemed to be more here than on the island. He recongized a few: Charlie, who was arguing with a nurse(probably, he assumed, to see Claire), and Michelle and Sebastian nervously glancing up and down the hall. Jack's face fell with sympathy. They had good reason to be nervous, afraid even.

But really, he didn't. He had gotten what he wanted back. Things had finally gone his way. Kate was alive, and here he was, selfishly belating his entrance to see her. She didn't derserve that. She deserved better than that. So his hand finally fell on the door, shivering at the touch of the cold knob, turning it with a creak, lightly pusing open the door into her room.

Each step fell with a memory, falling with a full pause of time between each. The light seemed unusually bright in here, so bright it made him wonder. Was it bright for him? A metephor maybe? Was he supposed to be seeing something easier than he was? Or was it more of a heavenly thing? Voices filled his head as he stepped closer and closer to her, eyes narrowing on the bed, on her sleeping form. But he wouldn't be climbing in with her, kissing her goodnight or waking up to one or another of their bad dreams.

He began counting the distance to her bed. Six feet. Five feet.

The ring burned in his pocket, reminding him of its presence. Maybe it was melting. That'd be his luck, once again a decision not being made by him. But now that he saw her, laid eyes on her...His stomach turned with nerves, making himself sick. What the hell was he going to do?

Four feet.

There was something on the nightstand, he noticed. Her toy plane. Barely recognizable, but Jack knew what it was right off. Bloody, broken, laying into piece set beside her, as if they were watching over her. He wondered then, after Tom died, if she kept the plane sitting just like that, like he was watching over her. And now that plane was broken to pieces.

Talk about metephors.

"Jack?"

He jumped at the whisper. His mind shouted that he was only at two more feet. There was still two more feet to go, still more time. But she couldn't wait that long. The whisper came weak, barely audible, croaking out of her cracked lips, as if his broken voice had replaced hers of confidence, disgracing that beauty of hers, that flat emotion she always had that told you nothing was wrong. She could be what she needed to be at that time. She wasn't only a criminal, but an actress. If only her role was fictional.

His hands shook in the slightest as he grabbed onto a chair that sat in a nearby corner. He almost expected it to be big, something comfortable, the comfort they deserved for what they'd been through. But it wasn't. It was old, with cracked wooden legs and fading patterns on the fabric. Jack had been there long enough to know that it used to be a pattern of flowers. It was supposed to bring feelings of comfort. He never understood how, after all, you'd be sitting on it, not looking at it. But he supposed it was the thought that counted.

"Yeah," he replied with some effort. What was he going to say to her? How would he explain that he couldn't help her before? Fear petrified him as he pushed himself into the chair, taking her hand for safety. "I'm here." He stared down at her pale skin, running his fingers over her bandaged ones, lightly grazing the wires attatched to her skin. At the same time, Kate looked around the room, only eyes moving, body remaining frozen, as though only her head had awoken. Was she paralized? He feared for the first time. After all, they had told him so little...

"Where am I?" Kate wondered outloud, sounding lost and afraid. Jack grasped her hand tightly, emotional support for him as well as her.

"We're-" he couldn't bring himself to say 'home'. This wasn't home. Their home would only ever be the island. That was where their memories were. That was where they grew more than they ever knew they could, becoming people they never thought they could be. And secretly, that was where they wanted to be. "We were rescued."

She didn't answer. She was staring out the window, out the blinds that had been drawn, offering view of the city outside. Jack had never liked the view himself. If they were shooting for comfort, that window definetly wasn't it. She kept staring out the window as she talked:

"I can hear you screaming in my head," she told him lightly, a soft smile pouring across her face in a radiant glow that seemed to fade in with the sun's dipping rays, melting through the glass and hilighting the curls on Kate's head, turning the scene into an innocent, calm affair. Nevertheless, Jack grimaced at her confession. "You're giving me a headache."

She looked to him then, turning to him slowly, eyes trying to concentrate. She reminded him of Sawyer, how he'd hardly been able to concentrate. God, had the drugged them all?

"What happened?" She asked him, trying to find her place in his eyes, failing and looking as though she were seeing right past him. He hated it.

And then that question...he faught for an answer. Surely she remembered...and after that, he imagined she could draw her own conclusions. But she wanted to know.

"Jack..." Kate began tentitivly, her eyes watering in pain and complete confusion. He wrapped his hand around hers even tighter. The bandages gone from his cut hands, their scars met, burning with pain and memory. She still faught to meet his eyes, desperatly wanting to be there. She just sounded so damn scared, so afraid...so not like her. And just to think that something so quick could happen that would do that to her...it made Jack all of angry, and as he pushed the anger away, he found himself grabbing onto her hand to get passed it. Then she changed topics on him altogther. "What's going to happen to me?"

She figured things out too quickly for his liking. While it comforted him to know that her brain seemed to be working properly, for the most part, it pained him for her to have to know so soon. Know that there was no hope.

"I don't know," Jack admitted finally, still gripping her hand in a grip so tight even her pale hands turned a ghastly white in protest.

Her eyes desperatly trying to find him, Kate registered this with fear.

"The baby?" She asked weakily. She was shaking now, tears forming in large drops in her eyes, though never falling. Even on the edge of death, Kate still seemed to be holding herself together, or at least wanting to. He wasn't sure that there would ever be a time where they'd be comfortable- both of them- with truly being able to just let go. To have that trust.

"I don't know," Jack said again, the possibilities bringing tears that stung at his eyes, his own hand shaking with her trembles.

"The doctors-"

Like Sawyer, she began to trail off, pain and confusion overwhelming her.

"Two broken ribs," Jack answered her, as though it were something he had to memorize. And he had. Every word of his short conversation with Kate's doctor played through his head over and over again.

"My back hurts," Kate admitted, wincing as she arched her back, as though a wave of pain was shooting through her just then.

"I know," Jack said, more to himself than to her. They had said it was severly scratched. They'd never seen anything like it. Never on a living patient, at least. One that would survive.

His fingers shook violently as they forced themselves to rub over her scarred hand, a desperate attempt for a comforting gesture. But just then, the door opened. He wasn't sure if they needed that relief or not, but Kate seemed obviously confused to the action, painfully wincing to try and focus on what was going on. His mom stepped into the room. Jack grimaced, feeling like yelling at her for going back on her word. But he couldn't. For a moment she stood frozen at the sight of her son and the woman he loved, both on the edge of breaking: shaking, terrified with no one to tell them what to do or that things were okay. No confirmation or true faith of such a thing.

"I'm going to leave," his mother said at last, breaking the silence of the room. Dead silence, that same orb like in Sawyer's room. The dead silence that was dreaded in every hospital room, because you never wanted hopsital rooms to be silent. Even now a machine beeped, signifying Kate's life, the same beep that haunted him with every step he had taken into the room. "I'll come back later to pick you up."

Jack just nodded, letting her excuse herself out, the door closing with an echo. And maybe they did need that interruption, because when Jack turned back to Kate she was calm again, that same soft smile playing on her lips. He was growing to love that smile.

"Your mom drives you around?" She teased wearily. "That's cute."

It was a relief to see her joke, even though it came with obvious effort, bombarded with pain. Like a horse trying to innocently cross a battlefied.

"I can't drive," Jack explained, "I failed my psych test."

Kate's eyebrows furrowed with his wording. He realized then their grip on each other had loosened, less frantic now, more calming. Truly comforting. Just to feel her touch again, hear her voice...and the smile really confirmed it all. Whatever happened, she was okay.

"What psych test?" She inquired.

Jack blushed a little.

"The one they gave me," he admitted honestly. It had come with the second interrogation, like an add-on feature to a bigger phone plan. Getting more for your money, but getting more than you really need. Except this wasn't a choice, and he had failed miserably. But who could blame him? He didn't.

Smiling a little, Kate stared past Jack and through the window, just as Sawyer had, eyes wondering there as they tried to concentrate. But there was no doubt she could see the people out there, realize what was going on.

"You should be out there," she announced quietly.

Jack turned away from the window, gripping her hand again. He didn't want to leave. Not now. Suddenly, he never wanted to leave this room. He never wanted this moment to be over. And he didn't want to face the fact that this moment may be one that he'd have to savor and look back on for many horrible years to come.

She didn't even let him protest.

"Go." She brushed a hand against his face, dropping it like a dead-weight. She smiled sadly. "They'll be expecting you."

He couldn't be sure. Maybe if everyone hadn't so recently turned against him...but maybe they could move past that now. Families were already beginning to arrive, and even Jack knew that he'd eventually be brought up in conversation. Kate was most likely right. They'd be expecting him.

But he still didn't want to leave her. That was when she pushed him away, pushing his hand back a little at his prostest. He looked at her, hurt. Maybe his fears had come true. She didn't want to be with him. She was mad at him. Furious.

"I'm tired," she explained, eyes already fluttering to a close.

Jack smiled a little at the movement, but a doctor-mode clicked in within him.

"Let me get your nurse," he urged, getting to his feet. The chair squeaked across the floor, making them each wince a little. She looked up at him, and he knew what she was thinking. No authorities. After all of this, even after all they had been through and all they meant to each other, nothing would stop what they thought about her.

"You're not my doctor?" She said, actually sounding worried. He wondered if she was already planning an escape route in her head, but he didn't ask. He might scare her away. And he at least wanted a good-bye. One last moment with her, one last kiss. That moment to savor, though he didn't want to have to now. He would later.

Jack shook his head. That fearful look still danced in her eyes, which still fluttered open and shut of protest to being awake. She couldn't object any longer. She fell asleep, and he knew that it was time for him to go.

The trip to the door went by much quicker- too quickly- than the trip from the door, and just to make up for it, he stopped, once again watching her sleep. The sun was still making its way through the window, signaling the newfound joy of the day- literally. For the most part. But despite it, Jack decided that his mother was definetly right. Kate was beautiful.

Hand falling to the doorknob, Jack felt a wave of energy flowing through him, preparing him for things to come once he opened the door. He looked to Kate once again, this time for that same feeling of safety. A calm surrender that brought true comfort, not old chairs and faded patterns. There didn't even need to be a thought to count. He just needed for her to be there. And that was the moment he savored, capturing the picture in his mind, excluding the broken plane, the chair. All he needed was her. Jack even smiled to himself as he finally had to turn away, opening the door, embracing himself for what was to come.

And still the ring seemed to burn in his pocket.

Author's Note: So here's the deal. I had this whole chapter planned out for just the ending- that's right, the end. That was supposed to be this chapter. However, there's just sooo much going on that I felt it almost took away from the Jate, and that's very important to the actual ending. So, next chapter will be the last chapter...but there's a surprise(insert evil laughter here). So no giving up hope! Thanks sooo much for the reviews! I'm gonna cry ending this story, I swear. I'm so thankful and grateful that you guys have stuck with me for so long. One good thing I don't have to worry about making the ending two parts is not having to stay up all night tonight writing my huge thank you list...because it is huge. I'll try and get the next chapter out as soon as possible, and the good news is that half of it is already written. So, like I said, thanks for reviewing. You guys rock!

Coming up next, on "In the End":

Reunions all around, and a special surprise ending...and you'll have to read the series' endings author's note for the second surprise.

Thanks again!

Until next time...

October Sky