The song is from Avenue Q- Everyone's a little bit racist. If you want to see how it really goes, go to youtube and put it in the search bar. ENJOY!

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Random announcer: Welcome back to the dating show! This time, Ms. Sheena Fujibayashi will be the one asking the questions. Our three bachelors today will have a change to be with Sheena!

Sheena comes out waving to everyone and sits on her stool. There's a wall separating her from the males.

Bachelor #1: Wow, Sheena actually went on this show?

Sheena: Lloyd…?

Lloyd: Uh oh….

Bachelor #2: Smooth Lloyd, but everyone knows that she's going to choose me!

Sheena: ZELOS?

Zelos: HI HONEY!

Sheena smacks her face.

Sheena: great…

Bachelor #3: Humph.

Sheena: Kratos…?

Kratos: Indeed.

Zelos: You answered that quite well…

Lloyd: Yeah Dad. Why are you on here anyway?

Audience looks over to Kratos and shows that he's just sitting there calmly.

Kratos: That's none of your concern.

Lloyd: uh Ok…

Sheena: Let's get on to the questions… We'll start with Lloyd. If you could be anyone beside yourself, who would you be?

Lloyd: Uh… I'd be Zelos!

Sheena: (surprised) Why Zelos?

Lloyd: Because it seems fun to be Zelos.

Zelos: Or do you just want the girls?

Lloyd: No because you always get beat by Sheena!

Audience: (laugh)

Sheena: All right… Zelos… if you had a super power, what would it be?

Zelos: TO CHANGE INTO ANYTHING! (Heart shaped eyes)

Sheena: Do I even need to ask why...?

Zelos: So I could change into an even sexier me or something cute so all the girls would love me!

Sheena: Whatever… Kratos, if you took me out on a date, where would we go?

Kratos: I would take you to the beach, have a picnic, watch the sunset together and then take you out somewhere far so we could be alone to watch the stars.

Girls in the Audience: (heart shaped eyes) Kratos!

Sheena: Oh wow, that seems like the perfect date… Ok Lloyd, if you could take me on a date, where would we go?

Lloyd: To an amusement park! Then we could have lots of fun on rides!

Sheena: Seems so fun, but so childish… oh well… Zelos, if you could be anyone, other then yourself, who would you be?

Zelos: Why would I want to be someone else? I'm so SEXY! Anyone would want to be me!

Sheena: your stupid.

Zelos: Ow that was cold.

Sheena: Lloyd, if you could pick out one kind of outfit for me, what would it be?

Lloyd: Oh man… I'm not good with this stuff… um… dwarven made clothes? Like mine!

Sheena: (has blank expression) uh… right. Zelos, same question.

Zelos: A bikini! (Heart shaped eyes)

Sheena: YOU PERVERTED FREAK! Gosh, Kratos, same question.

Kratos: Something elegant and classy, but a bit casual.

Sheena: Sounds perfect. Lloyd, if there was a group of guys hitting on me, what would you do?

Lloyd: I'd let them?

Sheena: Oh geez… Zelos, same thing.

Zelos: I'd go over there and tell them to stop picking on my honey! I'm the great ZELOS!

Sheena: Then you would've gotten beaten to a pulp.

Zelos: Oh… I didn't think about that…

Sheena: Ok Kratos, same thing.

Kratos: I'd go over and tell them that I'm your boyfriend. And if they still continue to bother you, I'd use force to make sure they don't bother you again.

Sheena: (blushing) Wow… My knight in shining armor.

Zelos: Show off…

Sheena: Ok, Zelos, What would you do if you found out I only had 3 days to live?

Zelos: YOUR DIEING? BUT WE HAVEN"T EVEN GOTTEN INTO BED YET!

Sheena: YOU"RE SUCH A PERVERT! Lloyd?

Lloyd: I'd try to comfort you and make you feel better, because 3 days isn't a long time. I'd spend all my time with you too!

Sheena: I see… Kratos?

Kratos: I'd make those last three days, the best three days of your life.

Sheena: Aw… that would seem nice…

Zelos: WHY DOES HE GET ALL THE GOOD REPLIES?

Sheena: Because he's not a pervert like you!

Zelos: I'm not a pervert! I'm just a ladies man!

Sheena: Whatever. Ok last question goes to all three of you. Would any of you be offended if I didn't choose you?

Lloyd: I don't think so.

Zelos: YES!

Kratos: You're choice is your own.

Sheena: Ok! I've decided!

Announcer: Who do you think it's going to be? Audience, use the remotes to choose vote on who Sheena should choose!

Audience does so and polls are in.

Announcer: OK the polls are in! Zelos with a total of… 5!

Zelos: WOOO YEAH! I'M IN THE LEAD!

Announcer: Lloyd with a total off… 35.

Lloyd: What's that mean?

Announcer: Kratos with a total of… 60!

Kratos: Humph.

Sheena: Wow, so the audience agrees with me! I choose KRATOS!

The wall goes into the ground and Kratos is seen standing there with a smirk on his face. Sheena runs over to Kratos and hugs him. Kratos returns the hug and they wave to the audience.

Announcer: Well, it seems the two will be happy together, but only time will tell! Now we'll go back to our regular show.

Lloyd walks out to the stage. Colette then walks out shortly after.

Lloyd: Colette, can I ask you a question?

Colette: Sure!

Lloyd: Well, you known Alex Brunel upstairs in the apartments?

Colette: Uh huh.

Lloyd: Well… he's Alex Brunel, and your Colette Brunel…

Colette: Right.

Lloyd: So you're both Brunels.

Colette: Yeah.

Lloyd: Are you two related?

Colette: What! Lloyd, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

Lloyd: (surprised) Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

Colette: Well it's a touchy subject! No, not all Sages are related. What are you trying to say huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, HUH!

Lloyd: No, no, NO, not at all! I'm sorry… I guess that was a little racist.

Colette: I should say so… You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race…

Lloyd: Well, look who's talking!

Colette: What do mean…?

Lloyd: What about that special school you told me about, for all those smart kids?

Colette: What about it?

Lloyd: Well, could someone like me go there?

Colette: No, we don't want people like you

Lloyd: HAHAH! YOU SEE!

Colette: Huh?

Lloyd:(singing) You're a little bit racist!

Colette: (singing) Well you're a little bit too!

Music begins to play and Raine and Lloyd look like their arguing.

Lloyd: I guess we're both a little bit racist.

Colette: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do.

The two of them start dancing like little puppets.

Lloyd: But I guess its true. (Shrugs shoulders)

Colette: Between me and you, I think.

Both: Everyone's a little bit racist. Sometimes! Doesn't mean we go around committing, hate crimes! Look around and you will find, No one's really color blind! Maybe it's a fact we all should face. Everyone one makes judgments; Based on race!

Lloyd: (Talking regularly) No, not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from!

Colette: No!

Lloyd: No, little judgments like thinking Mexican bus boys should learn to speak GOSH DARNED ENGLISH!

Colette: Right!

Both: (singing) Everyone's a little bit racist, today. So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay? Ethnic jokes might be uncouth, but you'll laugh because they're based on truth! Don't take them as personal attacks! Everyone enjoys them, SO RELAX!

Lloyd: (talking) All right, stop me if you heard this one.

Colette: okay!

Lloyd: So there's a plane going down and there's only one parachute. There's a rabbit, a priest…

Colette: AND A BLACK GUY!

Lloyd: YEAH!

Regal comes out to the stage.

Regal: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Colette!

Colette: Uh…

Regal: You were telling a black joke!

Lloyd: Well, sure, Raine, but lots of people tell black jokes!

Regal: I don't.

Lloyd: Well of course you don't, you're BLACK! But I bet you tell Polack jokes right?

Audience: (whisperings) Regal's black?

Regal: Well sure I do! (chuckling) Those stupid Polacks! (continues chuckling)

Lloyd: Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

Regal: (stops chuckling) Well, damn! I guess you're right!

Colette: (singing) You're a little bit racist.

Regal: (singing)We'll you're a little bit too!

Lloyd: We're all a little bit racist!

Regal: I think that I would agree have to agree with you!

Colette and Lloyd: We're glad that you do!

Regal: It's sad, but true! Everyone's a little bit racist! All right?

Colette: All right!

Lloyd: All right!

Regal: All right! Bigotry has never been exclusively white!

All: If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little but, even though we all know that is wrong! Maybe it would help us get along.

Lloyd: (Talking) Oh Christ do I feel good!

Regal: Now there was an upstanding black man!

Lloyd: Who?

Regal: Jesus Christ.

Colette: But, Regal, Jesus was white…

Regal: No, Jesus was black…

Colette: No, Jesus was white.

Regal: No I'm pretty sure Jesus was black!

Lloyd: GUYS, GUYS! Jesus was Jewish!

Regal, Colette, and Lloyd start laughing.

Kratos comes out.

Kratos: What are you guys laughing about?

Regal: RACISM!

Kratos: Cool…?

Sheena: (Fobby accent) Kratos! Come back here! You take out the lecycuraburs!

Lloyd: What's that mean?

Kratos: Um… recyclables…

Everyone but Kratos starts to laugh.

Kratos: HEY! Don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak!

Colette: Oh, come off it Kratos! (singing) Everyone's a little bit racist.

Kratos: (angry and talking) I'm not!

Lloyd: (Talking) Oh no?

Kratos: NOPE! (singing) How many Oriental wives have you got?

Sheena: WHAT? BRIAN!

Lloyd: (singing) Kratos, buddy, where you been? The term is ASAIN AMERICAN!

Sheena comes out. (She's going to be singing in a Fobby accent)

Sheena: (singing) I know you are no intending to be! But calling me oriental- offensive to me!

Kratos: (talking) I'm sorry honey! I love you!

Sheena: (sighs) and I love you…

Kratos: but you're racist too..

Sheena: Yes.. I know. (Chinese music starts to play and Sheena begins to sing) The Jews have all the money, and the whites have all the power! And I'm always in taxicab with driver who no shower!

Lloyd: ME TOO!

Colette: ME TOO!

Regal: I CAN"T EVEN GET A TAXI!

All: Everyone's a little bit racist Its True! But everyone is just about as racist, as you! If we all could just admit, that we are racist, a little bit and everyone one stop being so PC! Maybe we could live in – HARMONY!

Sheena: Evlyone's a ritter bit laciest.

The song ends and the Audience all stands up.

Audience: AUNCORE, AUNCORE!

Regal: Thanks everyone! So what do you guys say? One more song wouldn't hurt right?

Crew: LETS DO IT!