Link: (Wakes up after he got hit with Zelda's elbow) Where am I? Where are all the girls? (Hears pots falling and slapping everywhere)
Nabooru: (Runs out of the bathroom) Link! Come on! (Grabs Link and runs outside to the car)
Link: (Drives away) Oh crap, the car broke down!
Nabooru: Quick! Let's run away to our hotel!
Rauru: (Jumps out of the bushes and jumps on Link's back)
Link: Nabby! Help!
Nabooru: I can't he's too heavy!
Rauru: I gotcha now, Link!
Ganondorf: (Shoots Rauru with his gun) We got him!
Darunia and Sheik: Yeah! (Dances with each other)
Darunia: Oh my! You're a good dancer!
Sheik: I did ballet in the third grade. (Keeps dancing)
Retarded Narrator: Meanwhile back at the party…
Saria: What the hell was happening earlier?
Impa: I don't know, but we'll need to find a new Sage of Time.
Saria: What did Rauru do?
Impa: I'll tell you when you're older.
Saria: Hey! I never will be older!
Impa: That's the point. Hahaha!
Retarded Narrator: Meanwhile outside…
Darunia: (Walking back to the house) That was awesome! Just like old times…
Sheik: Yeah! Talk about gay!
Ganondorf: Let's hurry back! I brought some steaks and some beer! Nobody will ever know!
Darunia: Alright! This is the best night of my life…
Retarded Narrator: Meanwhile at the hotel…
Link: Thanks for saving me.
Nabooru: No prob. I have a question to ask you.
Link: Yes? What is it?
Nabooru: Why do you like me instead of everyone else?
Link: Because you're hot and sexy, everyone else isn't that pretty.
Retarded Narrator: Thirty minutes later…
Link: (Kissing Nabooru) Mm! Mm! Stop for a second!
Nabooru: No! I like this too much!
Link: (Pulls his mouth away from Nabooru's) Nabooru, will you marry me?
Nabooru: I would, but you're only seventeen! You have to be eighteen!
Link: Okay, fine! We'll wait a year! Now let's go back to the party! (Gets in the car with Nabooru and drives back to the party)
Retarded Narrator: I'm sick of this!
Narrator: I'll take your place.
Retarded Narrator: No way!
Narrator: What? I don't get it…
Retarded Narrator: But you can call me RN instead now!
Narrator: Um… okay.
RN: Meanwhile at the party…
Impa: Please, can you do me a favor!
Ganondorf: Fine… what is it?
Impa: Saria is getting really bored. Can you entertain her before you and your buddies drink your asses off?
Ganondorf: Fine… (Walks up to the front of the room) Ladies and gentlemen! Ganondorf will now cut someone in half, then put them back together!
Audience (Darunia, Impa, and Saria): (Claps)
Ganondorf: (Brings out a box that can fit a person) I will now ask for my lovely assistant!
Sheik: (Comes out to the room and enters the box)
Ganondorf: (Takes out a saw and puts it through the box)
Sheik: Aaaah!
Ganondorf and Darunia: (Dreives Sheik to the Emergency Room)
Doctor: Alright, what happened here?
Ganondorf: Well I was performing a magic trick and I accidently… cut through him…
Doctor: Okay.
Three other doctors: (Roll Sheik's bed into a room)
Doctor: Are you pregnant?
Darunia: No, why are you asking that?
Doctor: It looks like it.
Darunia: Well I'm not! I'm a boy!
Doctor: Lose some weight then. (Walks away)
