Link: (Wakes up after he got hit with Zelda's elbow) Where am I? Where are all the girls? (Hears pots falling and slapping everywhere)

Nabooru: (Runs out of the bathroom) Link! Come on! (Grabs Link and runs outside to the car)

Link: (Drives away) Oh crap, the car broke down!

Nabooru: Quick! Let's run away to our hotel!

Rauru: (Jumps out of the bushes and jumps on Link's back)

Link: Nabby! Help!

Nabooru: I can't he's too heavy!

Rauru: I gotcha now, Link!

Ganondorf: (Shoots Rauru with his gun) We got him!

Darunia and Sheik: Yeah! (Dances with each other)

Darunia: Oh my! You're a good dancer!

Sheik: I did ballet in the third grade. (Keeps dancing)

Retarded Narrator: Meanwhile back at the party…

Saria: What the hell was happening earlier?

Impa: I don't know, but we'll need to find a new Sage of Time.

Saria: What did Rauru do?

Impa: I'll tell you when you're older.

Saria: Hey! I never will be older!

Impa: That's the point. Hahaha!

Retarded Narrator: Meanwhile outside…

Darunia: (Walking back to the house) That was awesome! Just like old times…

Sheik: Yeah! Talk about gay!

Ganondorf: Let's hurry back! I brought some steaks and some beer! Nobody will ever know!

Darunia: Alright! This is the best night of my life…

Retarded Narrator: Meanwhile at the hotel…

Link: Thanks for saving me.

Nabooru: No prob. I have a question to ask you.

Link: Yes? What is it?

Nabooru: Why do you like me instead of everyone else?

Link: Because you're hot and sexy, everyone else isn't that pretty.

Retarded Narrator: Thirty minutes later…

Link: (Kissing Nabooru) Mm! Mm! Stop for a second!

Nabooru: No! I like this too much!

Link: (Pulls his mouth away from Nabooru's) Nabooru, will you marry me?

Nabooru: I would, but you're only seventeen! You have to be eighteen!

Link: Okay, fine! We'll wait a year! Now let's go back to the party! (Gets in the car with Nabooru and drives back to the party)

Retarded Narrator: I'm sick of this!

Narrator: I'll take your place.

Retarded Narrator: No way!

Narrator: What? I don't get it…

Retarded Narrator: But you can call me RN instead now!

Narrator: Um… okay.

RN: Meanwhile at the party…

Impa: Please, can you do me a favor!

Ganondorf: Fine… what is it?

Impa: Saria is getting really bored. Can you entertain her before you and your buddies drink your asses off?

Ganondorf: Fine… (Walks up to the front of the room) Ladies and gentlemen! Ganondorf will now cut someone in half, then put them back together!

Audience (Darunia, Impa, and Saria): (Claps)

Ganondorf: (Brings out a box that can fit a person) I will now ask for my lovely assistant!

Sheik: (Comes out to the room and enters the box)

Ganondorf: (Takes out a saw and puts it through the box)

Sheik: Aaaah!

Ganondorf and Darunia: (Dreives Sheik to the Emergency Room)

Doctor: Alright, what happened here?

Ganondorf: Well I was performing a magic trick and I accidently… cut through him…

Doctor: Okay.

Three other doctors: (Roll Sheik's bed into a room)

Doctor: Are you pregnant?

Darunia: No, why are you asking that?

Doctor: It looks like it.

Darunia: Well I'm not! I'm a boy!

Doctor: Lose some weight then. (Walks away)