My note: this is where it actually starts branching out.
1. The hard choice
Buffy woke up slowly. She wasn't even aware of having fallen asleep.
She could feel his strong arms around her, his skin touching hers, an unnatural room temperature. Spike. She took comfort in his presence next to her.
He came looking for her last night. She could still remember the things he said, trying to cheer her up.
"A hundred plus years and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You."
She'd been lost, and he cared enough to try and bring her back to herself. He was the only one that cared enough.
"I'm not asking you for anything," Spike said. "When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try."
He loved her because she tried. But last night, she'd been on the verge of giving up.
"I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are," Spike said. "You are a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy."
"I don't want to be the one," Buffy said, tearfully.
Spike smirked. "I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear."
He'd brought her back to herself, reminded her of who she was. She'd asked him to stay with her, the only one of her friends who hadn't betrayed her.
With his arms around her, she felt warm, and safe, and protected, like when...
That was it!
Buffy looked up at Spike's sleeping face. She knew what to do now! She'd tried so hard to suppress what her friends had done to her last year, what they'd taken from her, that the thought hadn't even occurred to her before now.
Ascension.
A smile touched her lips, both that Spike came for her, and that, because of him, she now had an answer.
"What are you smiling about, luv?"
Buffy's smile broadened. "I know what I have to do now."
"You going to the vineyard then?" Spike asked.
Buffy shook her head. "Nope."
"What's the plan then?"
"Something my mom's people learned to do, a long time ago," Buffy answered cryptically.
Spike sat up, a confused frown on his face. "Your mum's people?" He asked. "What are you talking about, slayer?"
She'd learned about her mom the last time she'd died. She hadn't ascended all the way then, but to one of the levels between this corporeal existence and the plane that her mom had lived on. She didn't know everything, but she knew that her mom was one of the Ascended, once, a long time ago.
Buffy smiled again. She pulled him back down to the bed, and they just lay there, looking at each other.
"It's called ascension," Buffy said quietly. If she could pull it off this time...
"Right," said Spike. "I heard about that, like what the mayor tried to do, right?"
Buffy shook her head. "It's totally different."
She smiled at his frown. He didn't understand, but that was okay. She wasn't sure she knew everything either; she just knew that this was the answer.
Caleb was too strong. She couldn't go after whatever it was he was guarding alone, and she couldn't risk losing the only friend she had left. Ascension was the answer.
For a long moment, they just stayed there, silent, staring into each other's eyes, taking comfort in each other's presence, content to exist in that moment. Buffy broke that silence. "I need a favour, Spike."
"What is it, luv?" Spike asked. "Anything."
Buffy hesitated. She knew he'd have a problem with this.
"Say the word and she's a footnote in history," Spike said. "I'll make it look like a painful accident."
He was willing to kill Faith for her, but she knew this would be difficult for him. It had to be him, though. When she was with him, she felt free, unburdened, unafraid.
"I need you to kill me," Buffy said softly.
Spike was on his feet in an instant. She could tell by the look on his face that he didn't know what to think. He didn't understand. She sat up.
"Have you lost your bleedin' mind?" Spike demanded loudly.
"I know how it sounds..." Buffy started softly.
"It sounds insane!" Spike agreed incredulously. "Is this because those poofters kicked you out?"
"No!" She got up, walking towards him. "This isn't about them. This -- it's something I have to do. And I need you to help me do it."
Spike shook his head. "No way, slayer."
"Please, Spike," Buffy pleaded gently. "At least listen to me."
She reached up and touched his face gently, drawing it down so she could look him in the eye. Spike said nothing. He was listening. "I have to die to ascend," she said softly. She smiled at him, hopeful. "If it's you that... I wouldn't be afraid. I can't be afraid to take that step so..."
Buffy looked up into Spike's eyes. He was shaking his head, looking for an out. "What makes you think this is real? Or that you can pull it off?"
"Because I've done it before," Buffy said. "Sorta."
Realisation crossed his face. "When you... before..."
Buffy nodded her head. "I... I know it's a lot to ask, but you're the only one I trust to do this," she said softly. Without breaking eye contact, she reached up and ripped her shirt away from her neck, baring the skin there. "Please."
"There's got to be another way, luv..." Spike pleaded. "This... this feels wrong."
Buffy smiled at Spike, sitting down on the bed, drawing Spike down with her. She gently touched his face. "This is the only way."
Buffy pulled Spike into an embrace, then gently drew his head down, to meet her exposed neck.
She was ready to take this step. She had let go of her burden.
For a long moment, Spike did nothing. She was about to ask him again, when she felt his cold tears on her skin. Buffy gasped in pain as Spike's teeth tore into her a moment later.
God, it hurt, but she wasn't afraid. Not with Spike here with her.
