Crucial Moment by Betty Bokor
Malcolm Bright. Malcolm's thoughts after the re-capture of his father.
Spoilers: Seasons 1 and 2.
Disclaimer: Prodigal Son original characters belong to Chris Fedak, Sam Sklaver, and the Fox Broadcasting Company. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.
Crucial Moment
"What did you do?!"
Malcolm sat up in bed and covered his ears with his hands with exasperation.
He was not chained to his bed; he did not need it any longer. Ever since he had figured out that his father had not killed Sophie, his violent nightmares had subsided. The girl in the box had not died because of him; his curiosity had not doomed her.
Nevertheless, knowing that his discovery of his father's ultimate plaything had almost costed him his own life had been another blow to his already fragile psyche. Though it seemed that Martin had truly not been willing to kill his only son then, this week's events –that knife in his hand– had shown Malcolm that he had overcome his hesitation.
In any case, it was nothing Dr. Whitly had done that kept him awake; there was another form of torture his subconscious was inflicting on him and it had nothing to do with Martin –not strictly.
Now, whenever he tried to sleep, he inevitably heard Dani's question in his head, over and over again. Unfortunately, in those dreams, he was never able to answer, and, every time, Dani walked away, horrified.
"What did you do?!"
Alright. He had to be honest with himself.
The new nightmares may not be violent, but they definitely were unsettling, obsessive, unrelenting. Sometimes, as Dani walked off, he could see his own reflection on the bloodied knife and what he saw was the face of a monster. His own creation, his own monster.
That explained why it was not the question itself that tormented him nightly. After all, that day he had just been defending himself. There was no doubt that, mere seconds after telling Malcolm he had never been a good son, Martin had charged towards him with a knife in his hand. His father had admitted it –he had blamed it on the drugs Capshaw had given him–, but he had admitted it. Malcolm had been justified to stab him; he had done what he had to do to survive. Gil had understood it. The district attorney had understood it. No charges against him had been filed and Bright had been allowed to return to work.
Yet, he was a different Malcolm than the one who had been taken by Capshaw. During their captivity and escape, and as all of his father's machinations had been gradually uncovered, Malcolm had finally seen the degree of his cunning and he had realized what had been evident to his mother all along: Martin had not changed. He would never change…
Now, Martin was back at Claremont recovering from his stab wound, and Bright was back at the office with Gil, JT, and Dani. And Edrisa, of course.
But Dani's question refused to go away.
"What did you do?!"
He needed to sleep. if necessary, he needed to take half the medicines in his cabinet and have a good night of sleep.
Then he could forget about the question… and about Dani, too.
Nothing earthshaking had actually happened between them; it had only been one kiss. One kiss whose impact had all been but obliterated by the question.
He could hear the lack of trust, the doubt that permeated through those four little words.
"What did you do?!"
"I didn't do anything wrong!" he had wanted to yell at that time. Instead, he had quietly explained that his father had tried to stab him. He had even lessened Martin's guilt by blaming his new burst of violence on his long predicament with Capshaw.
But Dani had doubted him. Had doubted his intentions. Had seen in him what he had spent his whole life trying to avoid showing… That he was just like his father. That he was his father in more ways than he cared to understand.
Dani had doubted him and, with one question, she had destroyed all the work he had done over years of frustration and self-doubt.
Ainsley was a killer –not as deviant as Martin– but capable of darkness he had not seen in her before. But he had never crossed that line. He had never felt the urge, or most accurately, he had never been unable to stop himself.
Now, Dani's doubt was shaking the foundation of his construct.
And he could not see a way back from that.
They had reached a crossroad and, while he had gone one way, Dani had gone the opposite way.
No. No way back from that. All the time he had spent building her trust had been for naught.
"What did you do?!"
He sighed deeply, shook his head, and got up to get a glass of milk.
He was back at the beginning and, if he ever wanted to have a future with the women he had fallen for, he would have to start all over again. Build block by block, brick by brick.
The question was, was he willing?
He closed the fridge with a smile.
Oh, yeah. He had risen from worse many times before. And she was worth it.
