Big Hugs to Arianna for the betaing!

Chapter 2: She Kicked Him Where?

She got off the bus, struggling to lug her over-filled backpack down the steps. She swung it onto the bench, accidentally almost hitting the person sitting.

"Hey, whoa! Watch it!"

She sighed and sat down and rested her head on grandmother's arm.

Lorelai smiled and wrapped the arm around Alice, bringing her close. "Tell Grandmommy about your first day at Chilton."

"Disastrous," Alice pouted. "I got asked... no, bribed to go out on a date by a blond guy with an ego the size of Eurasia, and everybody called me Mary."

Lorelai hugged her granddaughter close. She knew this drill all too well. "It happens to all the new kids."

"I met up with Madison," Alice told her. "That was about the only good thing that happened all day... other than the feelings of vindication I got from kicking Ego Guy in the nuts."

Lorelai blinked and looked at the girl in her arms. "You kicked him in the nuts?"

She nodded. "I kicked Ego Guy in the nuts."

The older woman smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Good girl."

Alice pulled back a little. "What are you doing here, anyways?"

"Well, your mom and dad ran away with each other for the day, and I figured you'd need a shoulder to pout on."

Alice nodded and smiled. "Thanks." She looked down at her watch, and her eyes widened. "Oh."

"What?"

"Uncle Luke... diner... I'm late for work!" She got up and hefted her backpack over her shoulder. She wasn't very strong, and she almost dropped it.

Lorelai got up and helped her with the backpack as they made their way to Luke's. "Ali?"

"Hmm?"

"How many of the books in here are for recreational reading and not schoolwork?"

Alice smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"


"I'm late! I know! I'm sorry! Don't fire me!"

Luke looked up. "S'okay..." he watched her rush past him. "You okay?"

She sighed and ran behind counter, through the curtain, up the stairs. "I'm fine... I think..." she called down from the apartment. "I don't know... I kneed this guy in the groin after classes let out..."

Luke blinked at the staircase. "You did what?"

Lorelai smiled as she sat down at the counter. "She kicked him in the- "

"I heard," Luke cut her off. "What are you doing here? I thought you were working."

"Hi, Luke. I love you, too. Yes, this is a surprise, isn't it? I'm glad you're glad I'm here."

Luke rolled his eyes and Lorelai leaned across the counter to kiss him just as Alice rushed back down the stairs in a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt.

"Ugh. Old people kissing," she groaned.

"Hey!" Lorelai cried, pulling away from Luke. "I am not old!"

Alice rolled his eyes and reached for the coffee pot just as Luke did. They both stopped and stared at each other.

"I need coffee," she told him.

"So does your grandmother."

"I need it more," Alice said. "I just spent an entire day with fascists."

"Fascists?" Luke blinked.

"You've been reading The Oral History of Punk again, haven't you?" Lorelai asked, with an amused look.

Luke and Alice stared each other down, and both lunged for the coffee at the same time. Alice got there first and snapped the pot up.

"That was pathetic," Lorelai commented.

Luke sighed. "I beat her out yesterday."

"That was yesterday," Alice replied. "Today I win." She took out two mugs; one for herself, and one for Lorelai and filled them both.

"Finish that fast, please," Luke told her. "You've got worked to do."

"Yessir." She slugged down her coffee quickly, placed it in back with the other dirty dishes, and then grabbed her order pad and pencil to go help customers.

Luke sighed and watched his fifteen-year-old great-niece work. He caught a glimpse of a half-folded book sticking out of her back pocket and smirked, reminded of another, less cooperative teen who used to work these shifts.

"Where the hell does the time go?" he muttered, shaking his head again.

Lorelai smiled and followed Luke's gaze. "She's gonna be sixteen, soon."

"We're so old."

"I am not old!" Lorelai repeated. "I refuse to be old! You are old."

Luke shook his head. "Drink your coffee." He frowned, not really comprehending what he'd just said.

Lorelai snickered. "If you insist." She lifted her mug with a smile.

At that moment, the diner door swung open, and a tall, blond girl rushed through, looking around frantically. She spotted Alice and smiled widely. "Chilton Girl!"

Alice smirked. "The name is Mary, now, actually."

The blond paid no attention to this remark and threw herself at Alice. "I missed you!"

"Hey, Emma."

"Whyyyyy do you have to go to Stuffyland?" she asked. "Come back to the real world of school! With dimwits, and halfwits, and people with no wits at all!"

Alice snickered and pushed Emma Forrester away. "Come on, you know I can't come back. I've gotta show up all those snooty bastards in Hartford."

The other girl cracked a wide smile and took a seat at a table. "Well, give 'em hell for me."

"Will do," Alice nodded. "What do you want?"

"You back at SH High."

"I meant to eat, you bimbo," Alice snapped with a playful glare.

"That's beautiful blond bimbo to you," Emma smirked. "Burger?"

Alice nodded and scribbled on her pad. "Fries?"

"Good god, yes, she wants the fries."

A boy their age slid into the seat across from Emma, pushing brown and red shaggy hair out of his face.

Alice gave another nod and scribbled more. "Hey, Joey."

Joey Rygalski reached over and pulled Alice down for a hug. "Hey. How was stick-up-the-butt-ville?"

"Stick-up-the-butt-y," Alice replied, hugging back a little. "How was public school hell?"

"Hell," Joey replied. "Can I get a coke, too?"

"If you must," Alice nodded, still writing. "Em?"

"Same."

Alice smirked at them. "I'll be right back with your order, lovebirds."

Joey rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

"We're not lovebirds!" Emma cried in protest. "We are casually dating... birds!"

Alice rolled her eyes and waved a dismissive hand as she put the order into the kitchen.

"They're dating?" Lorelai asked.

"Kinda," Alice replied with a shrug as she turned back to her grandmother.

"Aw, babe..."

"What?" Alice asked. "It's no big deal."

"They're your best friends," Lorelai pointed out. "You're a third wheel."

"I am not."

"You are," Lorelai nodded sympathetically. "And it sucks... hey... you wouldn't consider taking Ego Guy up on the-"

"Nope."

"Ali-"

"Nope."

Lorelai groaned. "Maybe he's-"

"Gotta work." She rushed over to another table that had just been filled.

Lorelai blinked and turned to Luke who had just come out from the store room. "Y'know... it's really scary how much like Jess she can actually be."

Luke shook his head. "Let's not go there."

Alice walked back over and picked up her friends' orders, and walked off to put them on their table. "So when's our next band practice?" she asked them.

Joey looked thoughtful and sat back as he ate his fries. "This weekend good?"

Emma shrugged. "Sounds fine as long as my dad doesn't schedule 'family bonding time.'"

"Oh, gotta love forced family bonding," Joey commented.

"What do you know about it?" Emma shot, taking a large bite from her burger. "You're a momma's boy."

"Am not!" Joey cried with a laugh. "I love my parents. Sue me."

"Alas, I too am fond of my parents," Alice nodded gravely.

"Yeah, but you're lucky," Emma told her. "Your family bonding time consists of silence."

Alice shrugged. "There's music going sometimes... and sometimes we read passages to each other if we like them a lot..."

Joey smirked. "You're family is nerdy."

Alice laughed. "Oh, like you're one to talk, Mr. "I'm not allowed to take music theory in school, because my parents say they teach it wrong.'"

"They're not wrong!" Joey defended.

"Mmmhm," both girls replied.

"So, how was your first day at Chilton?" Joey asked, changing the subject.

Alice sighed and sat down next to him. "Sucked for the most part. People called me Mary. I was harassed by a blond who has received the esteemed nickname of Ego Guy, and I kicked him in the nuts."

Joey flinched. "I'm kinda sorry I asked."

"It'll get better," Emma smiled. "And if it doesn't you can come back to us!"

"And risk my great grandparents forming a lynch mob?" Alice asked. "Sure. That'll happen."

Emma was about to reply, when her watch alarm went off. She looked down at it and sighed. "Hey, Joe, the movie starts in ten. We should get going."

"Date?" Alice asked.

Joey shrugged. "She wants to see this new... teen... movie... thing. Frankly, I'm a little scared, but I figure if I'm distracting enough it won't make a difference." He wiggled his eyebrows with a devious smirk.

Emma smacked him playfully as she got up.

Joey laughed and pulled out cash and set it down on the table. "I'll let you know about practice, Ali." He got up and hugged her lightly as she got to her feet as well.

"Sounds good," she nodded. "Have fun, you guys."

They smiled, and Emma waved and they walked out, just as two other people were entering.

"Hey, Em, hey Joe."

"Hey, Jess!" Emma replied brightly as she walked off with Joey. "Hey, Rory."

"Daughter!" Lorelai cried to Rory.

"Daughter!" Rory cried to Alice.

Rory grabbed Alice into a hug, just as Lorelai jumped up and hugged Rory. Alice let out something that was somewhere in-between a squeak and a choke.

Jess shook his head as he made his way over to the counter. "Hey, Luke."

Luke nodded. "How was the city?"

"Fine...we nearly bought out a record store."

Luke blinked. "You didn't go to work."

"Played hooky."

"You're a horrible influence."

Jess nodded. "Pretty much."

Luke glanced over to the girls. Lorelai and Rory were still hugging tightly, and Alice was doing her best to break free from them.

"Come on, you guys, it's enough," Alice said. "I gotta work."

"Your daughter kicked a guy where it counts," Lorelai told Rory.

"She did?" Rory asked a little shocked. She looked down at her daughter. "You did?"

"He had it coming!"

Jess smirked. "I'm proud."

"What if he tells someone?" Rory asked worriedly. "What if it gets back to administration and you get in trouble..."

"No self-respecting male is going to admit being beaten up by a girl," Jess said. "She'll be fine."
"'She'll be fine,'" Rory quoted, as she entered Chilton the next morning before classes began.

Jess followed with a deep sigh. "I hate parent-teacher conferences."

"If you would stop teaching her how to fight, this wouldn't be a problem," Rory told him.

"I never taught her that," Jess said defensively. "That's a cheap move, even for a girl."

Rory rolled her eyes, and knocked on the headmaster's door.

"Come in!"

She opened it slowly and looked in. "Mr. Charleston?"

"Ah, Rory...Jess...come in," the old man said from behind his desk.

The man sitting in front of him turned around and smirked. "Rory Gilmore."

"Mariano," she corrected, taking Jess's hand and walking in. "Tristin, how are you?"

"Fine, except for the fact that my son was brutally assaulted."

Jess muttered something under his breath and Rory pinched the skin of his palm as they took a seat. He pulled his hand away quickly, and said nothing else.

It was going to be a long day.
"So you got out of detention?"

Alice nodded to Madison that day at lunch. "Mom got all indignant about harassment and Dad felt it was justified... there's no arguing with Jess and Rory Mariano when they agree on something."

Madison gave a small smirk. "Especially you, right?"

"I have been known to be well-protected."

"That sounds dirty."

The two girls looked up to see a redheaded boy standing at the end of their table.

"Who're you?" Alice asked, eating a pretzel.

"Charlie Ellington," he replied.

"Like Duke?" Alice asked.

Charlie narrowed his eyes a little. "Who...?"

"Duke... Ellington, He-"the brunette stopped and sighed. "Never mind."

"You're Alice Mariano, right?"

"Holy Swiss cheese, Batman! Someone knows my name!"

"Uh..." Charlie stammered a little. "I just wanted to come over and apologize on behalf of my best friend, Tristin..."

Alice blinked, a little confused. "Oh... kay."

"He can be kind of annoying," the lanky boy went on. "You're the first girl to actually fight back."

"Huh."

Charlie scratched the back of his head. "Anyways... I just wanted to... y'know, he didn't mean anything by it, he's just... persistent."

Both girls stared at him.

He rushed off.

"What a strange person," Madison commented.

Alice smirked and kept eating.
"All right, okay. But if I have to read Fountain Head...again...You've gotta read Farewell to Arms."

"Again?!"

"Hey, no Farewell, no Fountain Head."

Rory groaned. "Impossible man."

"Damn woman."

She laughed and pushed him playfully. "How long has this argument been going on?"

Jess sighed and looked out at the street before them from his spot on their porch swing. "Almost twenty years."

"That's impressive," she commented. "We should find something more substantial to argue about."

"More substantial than the eternal question of Ayn versus Ernest?" Jess smirked. "No such thing."

Rory smiled and swung her feet up to rest on his lap. "We should argue about our daughter's future."

Jess blinked at his wife.

"Okay. Maybe not. Speaking of, shouldn't she be home by now?"

"Maybe she stopped off somewhere to 'brutally assault' someone," Jess muttered, looking down at the book in his hands.

Rory snickered and tapped his arm with her foot. "You didn't like Tristin, did you?"

"Corporate fascist," Jess replied.

Alice walked up the driveway and to the porch, staring at her parents in confusion. She set her book bag down. "What are you guys doing here?"

"My editing meeting ended early," Rory replied, lifting her feet so her daughter could sit down, and then putting her feet back in place.

"I played hooky again," Jess said.

"Bad Dad."

"Like you're complaining."

Alice snickered, and rested her head on his arm, trying to get a better look at what he was reading.