The tension in the air was suffocating Haley as she rode back to the village with the troop, her fingers holding her horse's lead with an agonizing strength, her nails threatening to cut into her palms. Despite the fact that she knew Carver lashed out at her relationship with an ape for the pure sake of causing exactly that, she felt nauseated as she unwillingly mulled over his words and allowed them to eat at her conscience, because she knew he was right – the day that Koba first ravaged her against her will, she knew not just his actions but the entire scenario was wrong, and every time she rediscovered the aftereffects of his strength, a few hidden and nasty scars on her torso and back, this knowing only grew more clear. And yet, she couldn't imagine stepping away, nor speaking up about it, the mere thought tensing her muscles in trepidation of what may happen to her – in fact, it sent an odd trickle of fear down her spine, but of whom? Or better yet, of what?

Lament glossed Haley's bright brown eyes to a filthy shade of mud when they fell on the backs of Caesar and his son, guilt suddenly striking at her and making her slow her pace, the apes merely parting and passing her to follow their leader without a pause. The group seemed in an odd haste when she slowed to a stop, the distance between her and the council members growing with every passing moment, but despite the fact that their shrinking forms lacerated her heart, she didn't budge from her spot while her horse stomped in protest, the result of her little experiment the exact same as the one she expected; like she was never there, the gap where she once rode behind Blue Eyes, his father, and his father's second filled with another ape, erasing her absence without a second's pause. Again, she wondered what she feared so much: was it the fact that she wormed her way into the village by a dilution so fragile it can be shattered as easily as the glass of a light bulb, like how a chimp once did when he accidentally crushed an abandoned one under his foot in the woods, or was it the fact that her only place was by Koba's side, a place so agonizing that she had to pretend it was something real for two years, despite the fact that his first touch still haunted her and granted her with numerous sleepless nights. Or maybe, was it Koba himself that she feared? The last chimpanzee passed her as she bit into her lip, a question lurking up on her: is it even possible to fear someone and also love them? For her sake, she hoped it wasn't and that only love lived in her, but like always, another clever mind quickly picked up on her distress, though his touch to her shoulder only made her hop on her saddleless horse with a yelp.

No surprise, Haley immediately knew who it was and glared his way, silently commanding Maurice to stop sneaking up on her, oblivious that it was the old orangutan's subtle way of testing her reactions, which only caused his worry to swell over the past two years when he saw her jumpy behavior growing worse. "Sill tired?" He signed and motioned to her fidgeting horse before he continued forward, forcing her to follow if she didn't wish to ignore his question, nor her horse's clear impatience, so she did, no matter how annoyed by his tactics.

"You know I am." She grumbled when she caught up – Maurice felt the urge to point out she sounded a lot like ape whenever she grumbled in annoyance, but he had enough of a mind to stop himself.

"Nightmare?" He repeated her word in his deep and rumbling voice; he knew she was troubled by the human's insults, but he also knew the damage of whatever her nightmare was didn't have the chance to fade, and the small and reluctant nod he got only confirmed his suspicion, "What was it about?" he asked carefully, "Young apes feel better when they explain."

Oddly enough, Haley didn't hesitate, the urge to talk about what she dreamt too strong, but her explanation was nothing like what he expected. Time and time again, Maurice heard tales from the younglings – all different, but all so much alike. In every one of their night terrors, they had a similar villain: a dark and menacing shape in a white cloak. Whether this silhouette was trying to throw the small apes into small spaces, like a raccoon's hollow or a fox's hole, or if it was poking them with some oddly shaped metal point, he knew it was caused by some older ape's tale of the human doctors in Gen-Sys, but Haley's nightmare was different – he had an odd suspicion that it scared him more than it did her.

"I was telling Koba that I loved him." She said like it was the smallest detail to her infamous nightmare, unaware of the fright it gave her friend the moment it was said, "But then, beyond my control, I drove a dagger into his heart and we changed, him turning into me and—" Haley suddenly halted when she realized Maurice had disappeared next to her and searched her surrounding left and right for a second before she spotted him a few feet behind, glued to a stop and a unreadable look of concern in his eye.

"Do you?" He asked suddenly, his movements oddly small for his long arms, and waited patiently for Haley to respond, but just as she opened her mouth to answer, he interrupted, "Why?" By the fact that she dismissed her confession like it was nothing, he already knew she'd respond with something close to, 'of course,' or, 'obviously,' and that wasn't what he was looking for.

"What do you mean 'why'?" She asked, "He's my mate – I love him." She thought back to the fear she felt when she thought she might lose him and internally nodded at her explanation, "It's as simple as that."

"Haley loves Koba because he's her mate?"

Haley immediately grew pale, her confidence dwindling and the reality of self-reproach glossing over her widening eyes – not like that, she told herself. "Of course not—" She defended quickly, "—that's not what I meant."

"Why do you love Koba?" He repeated, but only got an annoyed tisk from the young woman, openly avoiding the subject, before she turned her horse back around and continued forward, compelling him to do the same when he saw the other apes disappearing into glimpses between the redwoods. "Haley." He grunted out, assuming she'd just pretend not to notice his hand speech if he kept it up, but quickly saw his theory betray him when she glanced his way hesitantly – unwittingly, she hoped he had an explanation for her, because she certainly didn't, "Scared of Koba?"

Haley flinched under his question, never having expected her previous thoughts to come to light so soon, but still she felt enough of the urge to shake her head – no, she told herself, she feared losing him, because losing him meant losing everything else with it. The latter truth pushed vomit against the back of her throat, her fear of losing him out of love slowly growing hazy as it gained another cause – she didn't fear losing him, she feared losing everything he granted her: a place in the village, a small but comfortable respect from the apes, and the authority to get closer to Caesar. Cursing herself, she realized she was even worse than Carver – she really was one disgusting human being. Despite all reason, she thought that maybe, just maybe, Koba had every right to hurt her more. She certainly deserved it.

Watching Haley's face go from denial to disgust, and then to pain, made Maurice understandable uncomfortable, but still he made himself shrug his uneasiness away so the conversation could persist. Oddly enough, he recognized her face from when he was still in the circus. When he was a young orangutan, fresh to the scene, a human female was assigned to look after him, but her lack of taking care of herself showed itself in a few wrinkles and grey hairs, despite her young age. An older human male, a normal-looking gentleman, visited her on a weekly basis like routine and Maurice could do nothing but watch behind bars as a monster broke through the man's exterior and attacked the caretaker to the inch of death with absolutely no cause or reason. Maurice still can't understand how the male could yell at her for what she did wrong while he was pummeling and beating her, nor why she was the one apologizing and telling him she'll work harder, but what confused him more than anything was the love she spoke of during every other day of the week. Many times, she had a one-sided conversation with Maurice in private, one that he could not understand back then, even with the little sign he knew. She told him about how much she loved the human male, saying that she'll do better next time, and it scared him how much Haley's words reminded him of her.

"Not scared." He acknowledged her answer, though he obviously didn't believe it, "Then could nightmare be because Koba was telling Caesar to fight humans?" He knew she didn't know, but for now, he knew he had to pretend like he did, and when she whisked around to stare at him in shock, he knew he was right, "…not know?" For now, he told himself, he'd play dumb – to an ape who was dumbed by nature for years, it felt extremely degrading, but if he could help his friend in doing so, it was worth it.

Haley shook her head again and glared at the apes ahead. Deep down, she realized she must have known Koba was the one who was trying to tempt his leader to go to war, but the fact that she didn't want to believe it set a fire to her rage, towards herself and her mate, her jaw clenching painfully, things that didn't go unseen by the keen eyes next to her. "I know Haley didn't want to go to war, just like Caesar." He continued carefully, grabbing her attention again, "And even if she says she loves Koba, just be careful which ape's example you decides to follow, because Haley, Caesar's friend, could get lost along the way."


There we go! Sorry for the silence yesterday and the day before that, but I didn't have any motivation to write. Also, thank you guys for all the sweet support against that guy – I love you all so much! See? That is why I encourage you guys' reviews so much; each one of them keeps my heart swelling with joy, which makes me so much more excited to keep writing. ^^ Also, a quick apology for this chapter to those who love Koba and Haley's relationship. I know, I know, it's my story, but still, I know some of you really love the idea of those two together.

Another thing: I need some advice on an idea I have for War Technicalities. (I know it's my story, but I wanna know what you all think.) I am tempted to split the story at some point, almost like creating an alternate timeline for it in another story, and that story will be a Luca x Human!OC. I don't know why, but the idea of Haley actually starting to fall for her friend, Luca, while she was, at first, in love with his king gives me goosebumps (SPOILER: he, of course, would've liked her from the start) and it'll be completely different from what I have in mind for this fic.