Chapter 4: Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson
"I'm telling you! It's in C!"
Emma shook her head at her boyfriend. "No, Joe. It's in F."
Joey played the note on his bass. "C."
"That's the wrong note!" Emma cried, throwing her drumsticks up in the air.
"Since when do you know anything about notes?!" Joe cried. "You're a drummer!"
Alice watched them bicker, knowing it would only end up with them making out after band practice. She played a chord on her guitar, and wondered if maybe her grandmother was right. Maybe she was a third wheel.
Maybe...
No. No way. Not in a million years.
"Am I interrupting something?"
The trio turned to the entrance of the Rygalskis' garage, to see a tall blond boy standing there.
Alice's eyes widened. "You...? What...?"
"We have a date," Tristan reminded her. "Remember? Onion ring? Date?"
"Hey... didn't you knee Onion Ring Date Guy in the nuts?" Joey asked quizzically.
"Yes," Alice nodded. "Yes, I did. What are you doing here?"
Tristan smirked. "Our date. It's seven."
Alice screwed up her face, and glared. "Go away, Junior."
"I came all this way," Tristan shrugged. "Come on. One date."
"Wow, is he ever desperate," Emma muttered to Joey.
Joey nodded. "Yeah, man, you're kind of pathetic."
Tristan glared, and was about to say something in turn, when Alice groaned and took him by the arm, dragging him out of the garage and onto the driveway.
"Get this through your head:" Alice said, sliding her guitar strap so the instrument was behind her, headstock down, flat against her back. "I do not want to date you. Ever. No movies. No onion rings. In fact, if we could just stick to the groin-kneeing thing, that would be really great."
"We had a deal."
"I never agreed."
"We had a deal."
"You're not too bright, there, are you, Junior?"
"Why are you so against this?"
"Because you're a jerk," Alice replied, crossing her arms. "And you blackmailed me into it. I never even said yes. I kneed you in the family jewels, for god's sake!"
Tristan sighed. "Could you not bring that up again?"
"If I keep bringing it up, will it make you go away?"
"Why do you hate me so much, Mary?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Reason one, right there. Mary."
Tristan rolled his eyes.
"Reason two-"She didn't get to finish. Her father's car pulled up to the curb. Alice blinked. "Dad?"
"Hey," Jess replied. "Get in."
Alice sighed. "Dad, I-"
"Uncle Jamie got arrested again, and it was his turn with Little Frankie, since Cousin Gloria is out of town. So we have to go pick up Little Frankie at the police station."
Alice stared blankly at her father. "I..."
"Car."
"What about Uncle Jamie?"
"Gloria can bail him out when she gets back," Jess replied. "Now put the guitar in the back seat and get in the car."
"Please?"
Jess sighed. "Please."
Alice smiled. "Yes, Daddy." She shrugged at Tristin, and loaded her guitar into the back seat. She opened up the passenger's side door, and hopped in.
Tristin never got a word in before the car sped off.
"Thanks for the save."
Jess smirked. "You think I was kidding? Jamie is in jail."
"No, I believe you," Alice smiled. "But you didn't have to bring me along."
"Frankie likes you."
"You just didn't want me to be alone with Tristin," Alice snickered. "You don't like him."
"He's a boy."
"And boys are evil."
"Good girl." Jess nodded.
"What would you do if I-"
"You wanna listen to some music?" Jess asked, turning on the radio.
"Okay, Dad, but if I started dating-"
"What do you feel like?" He went on. "I've got Bowie in the cd player, or do you wanna just... make fun of whatever's on the stations?"
Alice blinked. "You're avoiding the subject."
"The cd case is on the floor. I think you're stepping on it."
"Dating."
"Pavement?"
"Dating."
"Tool?"
"Dating."
"Uncle Luke left some Buffet in the car if you-"
"DATING!" Alice cried. "Dating, dating, dating!"
"Ow!" Jess flinched as he drove. "Jeez, calm down."
"Dating."
"You're not dating."
"I almost went on a date tonight."
"You did not."
"I did. And If I had, I could have had a really good time," Alice smiled.
"Pick music," Jess ordered.
Alice snickered. "And if I had gone on my date, I could have gotten a goodnight kiss."
Jess groaned.
"Hey," Alice said, tilting her head. "Your hair's messy."
"It is not."
"It is! It's messy," Alice went on. "Were you and Mom doing something smutty when the NYPD called?"
"That's it!" Jess growled. He turned the stereo up full-blast and opened all four windows.
Alice snickered and sang along with the radio.
"Lost?"
Tristin jumped a little and turned. "Mrs. Mariano."
Rory smiled as she walked up to him on Main Street. "Hi. I'm on my way to get coffee. Wanna come?"
He stared at her as if she were insane.
"Come on," Rory shrugged. "Coffee. Do you like coffee? If you don't like coffee, they serve things besides coffee."
"I..."
"Do... you... like... coffee?"
"Yes." Tristin nodded.
Rory nodded. "Okay. So. Let's go."
"I'm... going to get coffee with the mother of the girl who just ditched me to go pick up someone at a police station in New York."
Rory snickered. "Well, I have been ditched as well... but unwillingly so."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Tristin asked, wrinkling his nose.
Rory sighed, and stopped walking. She turned to him. "You tried to bribe my daughter into going on a date with you."
"Therefore, you should probably be hating me."
"Probably," Rory nodded. "Then, you were unceremoniously kicked in a very personal, sensitive area."
"Which was very painful," Tristin nodded. "Where did she learn to kick like that?"
"Various, intriguing characters. She boxes when she's got the time."
"She boxes?!"
"She does, indeed," Rory nodded. "So! Even though you were injured grievously, mostly in the pride area, you showed up here, heart in hand to go on a date. Most guys would have run. Away. Far, far away, but here you are."
"My heart is not in my hand."
Rory smiled sweetly. "You like my daughter."
Tristin rolled his eyes. "I'm not having this conversation."
"Coffee," Rory nodded. She took him by the arm and led him to Luke's. She walked in and sat down at a table by a window, Tristin sat across from her.
Luke walked over and set a cup of coffee down in front of Rory. "Cheating on Jess?"
"Always," Rory nodded. "Actually, Luke, this is Tristin."
"Tristin?" Luke asked. "Groin-Guy, Tristin?"
Tristin stared at Rory. "I'm Groin-Guy?"
"Why'd you bring him here?" Luke asked, curiously.
"Jess kidnapped Alice," Rory replied. "Jamie's in jail again, and Frankie's gonna stay with us... again."
"Where's Gloria?" Luke asked.
Rory sighed. "She's at a boxing tournament."
"Y'know it's hard to believe that she went to Yale to become a boxing manager," Luke shook his head. He glanced at Rory. "Hey... what's that on your neck?"
"Fresh hickey!" Lorelai cried, sitting next to her daughter. "You guys were having alone time when they called to pick up Frankie, weren't you?"
Rory reddened. "It was scrabble."
"Strip scrabble," Lorelai corrected with a snort. She turned to Tristin. "What's Groin-Guy doing here?"
"He was here to take Alice on a date, but Jess used Jamie's arrest as a convenient excuse to pull her away," Rory replied. "He really likes her."
Lorelai pouted. "Oh, how cute. If you hurt my granddaughter in any way, I'll flay you alive, and let Luke use your meat for hamburgers."
Luke wrinkled his nose. "How are we even still together?"
"You love me," Lorelai stated, stealing Rory's coffee and taking a sip.
"Hey!" Rory cried.
"What do you guys want to eat?"
"Burger, chili fries, onion rings, more coffee," Rory and Lorelai replied in unison.
Tristin blinked. "Wow."
Luke sighed. "You're both going to die."
"But we'll die happy," Rory smiled.
"And pretty," Lorelai added.
Luke shook his head and turned to Tristin. "What do you want, Groin- Guy?"
Tristin rolled his eyes. "Same. Coke instead of coffee, please."
"Another dead man walking," Luke muttered.
Franklin Jess Mariano always had fun playing with the handcuffs at the police station.
He was there often enough.
His six-year-old hands were far too small to fit into the cuffs, but they sure were fun. He wondered what it would be like to be a policeman one day. Maybe he'd be able to find out.
"Frankie!"
He looked up and smiled. "Uncle Jess! Ali!"
Alice smiled and lifted her cousin off of the bench. "Hey. Nice cuffs."
"Can I arrest you?" Frankie asked smiling.
Alice smiled back. "Maybe when we get home."
Frankie looked up at Jess. "What about my dad?"
Jess sighed. "Do you know what he did this time?"
Frankie shook his head and then rested it on Alice's shoulder, his shaggy blond hair falling in his eyes.
Jess nodded, and glanced at a rather large man, with too many tattoos and no hair being led in by a few officers. "Why don't you guys wait here, while I'll go see what's up?"
Alice nodded. "Okay, Dad."
Frankie nodded, too. "Okay, Uncle Jess."
"Okay," Jess nodded. He kissed the top of Alice's head, and then pushed some hair out of Frankie's eyes. "Don't stare at anybody."
Alice nodded, and turned and walked back to the bench with Frankie still in her arms, holding his handcuffs. He was accumulating quite a collection of those.
Jess watched them, and then went up to the front desk. "Hi. I'm looking for Jamie Delano? He was arrested, and I'm here to see if he deserves bail money or not."
The officer at the desk nodded and got up to lead him to Jamie.
Luke looked up when the bell on the diner door rang yet again. "Mike."
Rory turned and blinked. "Mike?"
Lorelai smirked and sipped her coffee. "Look who's back."
Tristin looked confused.
Mike made his way to the counter and stop opposite Luke. "Three cheeseburgers and three orders of fries, please."
Luke nodded. "Sure... so... you're back."
"Nothing gets by you." Mike muttered.
"Visiting?" Luke asked.
Mike glared. It was highly likely that the whole town already knew he was back for good.
Luke sighed and walked back to the kitchen.
Mike turned around and took in the diner. He hadn't been there in a year. He ran a hand through his hair and stared at Rory and Lorelai.
Rory smiled a little and waved. Lorelai waved as well.
"Is it just me or does he look like Jess?" Lorelai whispered.
Rory rolled her eyes. "He does not look like Jess. He looks like Dean."
Lorelai tilted her head. "I don't know... the leather jacket... the sneer..."
"He's Dean's, Mom."
"Not according to Miss Patty."
Rory rolled her eyes. "That was two years ago, and it was all cleared up within a week. Mike is Dean's. Not Jess's."
Tristin listened with interest. Not even the gossip his socialite mother dished out was this good.
Mike rolled his eyes at the women. "You two hens can stop talking about me now."
Luke rushed out from the kitchen and handed him a to-go bag. "Here ya go."
Mike nodded and pulled out his wallet, paying for the food. "Thanks." He grabbed the to-go bag and rushed out without looking back.
Rory walked into the house that evening to find Jess lying on the living room floor.
"Why are you on the floor?!"
"Alice."
"Alice?"
"Alice."
He pulled her down by the hand and she cuddled up next to him.
"Alice got angry, turned into The Incredible Hulk and beat you up?"
"The Chilton choral teacher called," Jess told her. "They have an open alto spot for her in the madrigals group."
Rory smiled. "Yeah?"
Jess nodded. "Yeah... so, she heard... she screamed... she jumped up and down... and then she jumped on me."
"And you landed on the floor."
"That I did."
"And... you're lying on the floor."
"I am."
"Why?"
"Comfortable."
"Ah. Lazy?"
"Very."
"Frankie here?"
Jess nodded. "Frankie is upstairs with Alice."
"Okay... what did Jamie do this time?"
Jess rolled his eyes. "I'm not at liberty to say... he made me promise... just know that it's embarrassing as all hell."
Rory sighed. "This is comfy. How did you find this spot?"
"Pure talent."
"Ah."
"So what did you wind up doing tonight?"
"I went to dinner with Tristin."
Jess crinkled his brow at her. "Tristin?"
"Junior."
"Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson. Why?"
"He looked so lost after you kidnapped Alice," Rory explained. "I felt bad."
"You're way too nice," Jess shook his head.
"Oh! And your son showed up at the diner."
"I don't have a son," Jess replied, raising an eyebrow.
"Mike."
Jess rolled his eyes. "He's not my kid. We've been over this."
She laughed and kissed him. "I'm teasing... I wonder what's going on with him... I wonder how Dean and Lindsay are taking it."
Jess shrugged, just as Frankie came running down the stairs and into the living room with a bath towel hooked around his neck as a cape. "I'm Super Guy!" He cried, and then ran off.
"He's going to start jumping off of things again, isn't he?" Rory asked.
"Yeah."
They sat in silence again.
"I don't wanna move," Rory moaned.
"Me neither."
They looked at each other in more silence, and then, in unison gave a shout.
"ALICE!"
They were sitting awkwardly at the kitchen table when Emma walked in from her post-band practice date with Joey.
"Hey," she said perkily as she pulled up a chair in-between her mother and brother.
Dean gave an expectant look. "Where have you been?"
"Band practice," she replied, reaching over and grabbing a carrot from the bowl that sat with the rest of their dinner.
"You're grounded," Dean reminded her.
"You said I could have band practice!"
"I did?" Dean looked to Lindsay in confusion. "I did?"
"Can we please have a nice, pleasant dinner?" Lindsay asked in an annoyed voice.
Emma and Dean sighed in unison, and glanced at each other. They both smirked, and Emma rolled her eyes playfully.
Mike shook his head and ate his sandwich.
