Warning- These stories are all yaoi and shounenai, you don't like, you don't read!

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Emerald

I know he's watching me. I can feel it in his gaze.

Once again, he's worried about me. Why? Because it is raining outside, and here I am at the window, staring out into the haze. He always worries about me on nights like tonight.

I don't even know why I force myself to watch the rain. I hate it, completely and utterly hate it. But I'm still here, watching it.

A few footsteps creak on the wooden boards beneath our feet., but he doesn't say a word. I suppose I am grateful for that. I have nothing to say.

Something hovers in the air between us, though. Something that makes me want to speak, to say anything. I want to hear his voice. Say something, please. I don't care what it is, just say something.

Almost as if he can hear my thoughts, he asks, in that rough voice of his, "Why?"

He knows. I know he knows, because I told him. "Why what?" I reply gently.

"You know what I mean!" He grabs my shoulder and turns me to face him. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" When I give no answer, he shakes me, frustrated. "Come on, man, answer me!"

Still no words escape my lips.

He sighs. "I know why you hate the rain, but I don't get why you've got to torture yourself like this! I know you miss her. I get that. But you've got to let her go!"

I can't seem to meet his eyes. "It's my fault she died. How can I forget that?"

Anger now burns in those eyes. "It's my fault my mom died, but I'm not the one standing around moping, am I? Let her go!"

"How?" I hiss, my voice raising slightly. "How do I do that? Do you think I haven't tried?"

"If you keep hiding behind her memory, you'll never find anyone new! Find someone else. If you really fall in love, you'll be able to let her go."

"Show me," I whisper suddenly.

"What?" he asks.

"How to let her go."

"I just told you. You've got to-"

"I know," I interrupted him. "I have fallen in love… with you."

He wasn't expecting that, I can tell by the expression on his face. Than a grin; his trademark grin, appears. "If you insist." Pulling me close, he carefully, gently, seals my lips with his own.

Butterflies flutter in my stomach, ones that I haven't felt in such a long time. When we break apart, he asks, "Is she gone?"

"Yes," I reply. "I've let her go."

"Good." Her holds me close, and I bury my face into his shoulder. "I feel like I've been waiting forever for this."

"So do I, Gojyo. So do I." I don't dare to let go of him; what if this is just a dream?

He seems to read my mind once again, for he says, "It's not a dream, babe. I really love you, Hakkai."


Cho Hakkai and Sha Gojyo from Saiyuki

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