A/N: Honestly, I have no excuse for letting this get pushed to the back burner. Those of you that came back, I appreciate all of you so, so much. For all of you that are new, I'm not the best at updating quickly (that's an understatement) but I will finish this…eventually.


CHAPTER 21:

I stayed close to the bathroom in case the smell overcame me, or the events of the day in general. Edward paced between the rooms but continually paused near me––probably afraid I'd collapse again. As I watched people come and go from the area, he slid next to me. A warm hand took its place on my shoulder. I could feel the pity in all his movements. I loathed it.

A harsh knock at the door took him away from me. Pulling him back down to the wooden flooring, I stood in front with my knife pulled out of my back pocket.

"Bella, calm down," he whispered barely audibly. My heartbeat in my ears covered it.

"Stay." My voice took on an unfamiliar menacing quality, but I was not going to lose him right after this morning.

"Where's Bells?" Emmett's question echoed in the hallway. Tripping on the uneven panel in the floor, I ended up in the kitchen.

"Wow there kid. Calm down." His head nodded to my grip. My knuckles were white with the grasp on the knife.

"Sorry, it's been a long day." And suddenly I don't trust anyone. Before I could think more in that direction, Edward clapped Emmet's back and then took a stance behind me. His body heat radiated toward me.

Edward grabbed one of my hands. Instead of startling me, it felt familiar, intimate in a much needed way. Behind Em, a team of agents were ushered into the room. One of them crotched beside me to take a picture. Jumping from her movement, I caught Edward's attention. He pulled me into him and into one of the side rooms. There were too many noises, too many people, too many questions and emotions. I held my wrist to ground myself to my own heartbeat.

Muffled voices failed to grab my concentration. Somewhere in my mind, I acknowledged Em was talking, but Edward had left my side. All I could focus on was the crawling sensation on my skin. My eyes teared up against my will, and I left Emmett standing dumbfoundedly.

"Bella," he sat on the edge of the comforter looking out the window. He looked like he needed some time alone.

"Sorry." Pivoting away, I granted him this alone time. Still anxious, I closed the door and slid down to meet the cold wood. My ear pressed into the door so that I could hear through the wall to Edward. Pulling my knees up against my chest, I ignored the concerned stares.

Em passed by me to get to Edward. His smile, while forced, was appreciated. Knowing that he was inside there, I let my eyes drift close for a moment. I could have eavesdropped, but I didn't even attempt it.

A moment later, Em walked back into the crime scene and began giving out tasks. The medical examiner zipped up the body bag and wheeled the stretcher out into the hallway.

"Hey," a soft voice appeared beside me.

"Hi." I turned to see Edward's face. Crunched up against the wall similarly to me, he smiled.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

"Don't we have to fill out a report?"

"Yes, but not right now." He jumped up and extended a hand. Pulling me up, he eyed the rest of the agents. With our hands intertwined he led me into the concrete garage.

"Where are we going?"

"Wherever you want."

"Can we just drive for now?" He didn't respond, but I saw him nod in my peripheral vision. The street lights blurred, and I suddenly felt dizzy. I brought my knees to my chest again and waited for him to protest that it wasn't safe.

Instead, no words were exchanged. The car slowed down in front of the Chinese restaurant. My breathing hitched. Opening his door without a word, he left me fiddling with the ring on my finger.

"I'm getting some food. Okay?" I threw myself out of the seat and had my hand securely around the knife in my pocket. Nothing would happen to him.

As much as I hated the openness of the restaurant, I walked through its doors like it didn't faze me. Biting the inside of my check, I tried to keep contact with him.

"I have to go up to the register. Will you be okay here?" I nodded, but my grip became so tight on the knife that I knew that the metal would leave imprints in my palm.

He was back quicker than I anticipated. The crowd made me nervous. Jacob would have already known that his man failed and that Edward was out and about somewhere. Would Jake send another one on the same day? I couldn't tell. I didn't know him at all.

"How are you doing?" He tapped a rhythm on his jeans as he asked the question.

"I'm doing okay. How about you?"

"I'll feel better once we get out of here." Movement surrounded us. If something were to happen, I would see it a second too late. Discomfort sat in my body. The ticking of the clock above the counter only fueled my need to get out. His breaths, long and even, became the easiest way to calm myself.

We got the food and the second I stepped outside, the tension evaporated. I could finally breathe.

He ushered us to one of the tables outside. I suddenly realized I didn't feel completely comfortable anywhere. There could be a sniper on any of the buildings nearby. A bullet could rip through him in a moment's time. The thought churned my stomach, and my hunger vanished.

"I'm not really hungry."

"You should try to eat something. You haven't had anything all day." I knew he was trying to be polite, but, if I ate anything, it would come back up; I didn't want to hate Chinese food.

"I know. I'll just eat later."

"Okay," he said with a sullen voice. "Here," his coat was wrapped across my shoulders. Even though I wasn't cold, I accepted it with a smile. The scent alone was familiar enough to distract me.

He ate half of his meal. I knew that I was rushing him, but I didn't know how to fix it. Putting the boxes in a paper bag, he packed up and headed to the car. An awkwardness filled the space between us. In the car, I resumed my previous position and stared out the window.

"Bella. I'll drive you home after I grab some stuff."

"Aren't we already going there?" Looking at the street name, I thought we were going in the correct direction. The apartment was two blocks away.

"No, Alice's house is the other direction." I had never thought of her penthouse as home.

"Edward, I'm not going to go to Alice's house." I couldn't leave him. Not after what happened today. I don't care how screwed up our relationship was at the moment; he had to be safe.

"Where are you staying then?" His confusion disheartened me.

"The apartment. I'm never going to leave again." I watched as his face brightened for a moment before turning to stone again.

"Bella, I promise I'll be fine."

"I don't care. I'm going home." I was furious at this point. Did he not think that I still lived there? Did he not want me as a friend?

"If that's what you want then okay."

"Do you not want me?"

"No, no, Bella. Of course I'll be delighted that you're coming home." And I didn't believe him.

The car parked and we began to walk up the stairs. My whole body felt so numb that I barely noticed my feet hitting the ground.

"Eat please." Placing the food on the counter, he removed some of the boxes. "Bella, I know you probably don't feel like it, but I'm afraid you'll pass out if you don't."

I picked up a random box and stuck a fork into it. Without looking at what I was eating, I started to think about Jacob. My face reddened with fury. I had to continue dating him. I wanted to watch his expression as he told me just enough to put him away. I wanted to be the one to walk him to the police car.

"I have to call Jacob."

"What?!" Edward turned so quickly that his arms flailed and knocked a box of white rice off the table.

"Well if I want to kick his ass, I have to get the information from him. So I have to fake date him."

"You're crazy."

"Think about it. It would be much easier to record him telling me something than to watch his movements. He'd catch on and leave. We're going to get him."

"I think you should give yourself some time to consider." I already had my phone open with my finger on his speed dial.

"No," he slid across the table to grab the phone as my finger pressed the button. Ending up on the floor, he shut the phone.

"LET ME DO THIS."

"NO. Not until you think about it."

"Edward," it was an uncomfortable moment considering he was on top of me, "I have to get him."

He made no notion of moving, but I grabbed the phone that had slid across the room. He pulled me back to stop me; it was already open in my hand.

"Hey Jake."

"Bella?" Edward laid motionless; I could feel his breaths huffing out.

"Yeah it's me."

"What's going on?"

"I think I've figured everything out and honestly I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

"I want to see you soon. Ali's been getting on my nerves."

"Of course babe. I've got to go but tell me when you're off from work."

"I promise I will. Love you Jake." Edward quit breathing and all of his muscles tightened.

Shutting the phone, I felt better. I had a plan.

"What the hell were you thinking?" His body, just barely above me, hovered there for a moment. His face was merely an inch away.

"I'm protecting you." Adrenaline rushed through me again. Pushing him off me, I stood up. He stayed on the floor with his head in his hands.

"I can do that all by myself."

"You almost died earlier," my voice broke.

He got up off the floor and turned into his room. "Make sure you eat something," he slammed the door shut.

I was too pent up about the situation to eat any more. Instead, I went into my room and slammed the door shut just like he did.

With the door shut, guilt plagued my head. The silence forced me to acknowledge my fault in the situation. With my thoughts centered on this afternoon, I climbed into bed, pulled the cover up, and waited until the man's face appeared in my mind. Heat consumed me. Turning to the other side of the bed, my legs wrapped in the sheet and the man's face appeared once again. As much as I tried to get it out of my head, the hitman haunted my thoughts. Letting my body relax, my mind drifted to sunny beaches and trees.

I was peaceful for about an hour before the worries reappeared. My whole body took on the tension from earlier. If I wasn't there. He would be dead. I stopped myself before I pictured Edward lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood.

Turning one last time, I decided that this was pointless. My worry for Edward's safety would never stop; this horrible feeling would never end. My breathing became harsher with that realization. My stupid decision could have killed him.

Sobs racked over my chest. My lungs screamed for air. Earlier, I had attempted being strong or indifferent, using anger instead of sadness. But, late at night, it took too much effort to be angry with anyone but myself. Leaving my room, I sat on the arm of the couch staring at his white door.

I wanted to make sure he was okay. Although I had been up the majority of the night, the suspicion that something could have happened scared me. My fingers lightly grasped his doorknob. I really didn't want to intrude, but I needed someone right now. I needed verification that he was okay.

Bringing my hand up, I fully intended to knock, but my hand fell back at my side. This happened two more times before I collapsed down on the floor. You're really losing it aren't you. Get it together. My inner thoughts told me to go back to my room, but I couldn't. I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.

Salty tears streamed down my face as I remembered all of the conversations with Jacob. I really loved him, and—and he did this to me. All of the late nights, the classy dinners, and in-betweens rushed back. How did I do this to myself?

Pushing myself up off the ground, I struggled to straighten up. I wiped my tears off with my sleeves and gathered up enough courage to knock. Once my fist hit the door, I regretted it. He didn't need to take on my issues.

Hearing footsteps, I backed away in shame. The door creaked open. Observing me, his eyes slowly opened. I felt even more intrusive when I noticed his sleeping attire. He was shirtless with his usual pajama pants.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my gaze shifting to the floor. Looking up, I was slightly relieved that he looked unscathed. What did you expect?

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"I…I—" What was I supposed to say? That I needed someone to comfort me, that I needed to make sure he was okay or did I need to apologize again? I put my head in my hands. My palms became wet with my tears. When I looked up, Edward was no longer at the door. I searched to find him, my heart rate jerked up.

I found a pair of arms around my waist. "Bella. It's okay. I was expecting this earlier." My sobs got harder, of course he knew that this would happen. "It's a very reasonable reaction."

I pivoted to face him. My head laid on his chest. Rubbing my back, he let me lean on him for a while.

"I'm scared." The words were barely a whisper.

"Of what?"

"Of you getting hurt again." It was the raw truth.

His breathing halted, and he pulled me closer. "Bella, nothing is going to happen to me." I felt even worse that he was comforting me. This had to be hard on him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and wanted to never let go.

We stood there, still, while the tears fell from my eyes. Blackness surrounded us, the only light came from the skyscrapers nearby. I held onto him tightly. Thirty minutes passed, and I ran out of tears to cry.

"Bella…I think it's time to go to bed. You seem pretty tired." He was carrying most of my weight. His arms released me. Immediately, I went into a panic.

"Please don't leave me." I had lost all of my dignity. He looked as if he was about to speak, but I quickly cut him off. "Can I sleep on your floor? If it makes you uncomfortable—"

"Of course you can, love. I'm here for you." He closed the gap between us. The warmth that radiated from his skin was enough to calm me.

"I'm going to go grab blankets." I shuffled into my room. Grabbing my comforter and pillow, the fabric dragged along the floor as I entered his room. The left side of his bedroom had enough space for me to sleep, so I set the blankets down there. As I moved to sit on the pile I had created, a hand grabbed my shoulder. Mindlessly, I turned around and got into defensive mode.

"It's just me." Edward's voice sounded alarmed. His hand reached for mine.

"Sorry." I really had put him through an enormous amount of crap.

"It's okay." The room fell silent for a moment before he continued, "Bella if you want I can sleep on the floor and you can sleep on the bed."

"No, I'm already intruding. The floor will be just fine." And with that last sentence, I lowered my body into the ground. The fatigue of crying and worrying wore me down. Within moments, I had fallen asleep.

The bright light streamed into the room. His hands raised slowly, with fear? My eyes darted across the room to find a burly man. The lights reflected off his expensive watch. My gaze traveled down his arm to the gun he held steady pointing at Edward. The man's attention bounced between Edward and I.

The man never spoke, but he seemed confused. My appearance startled him. I briefly looked down. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans, there was nothing out of the ordinary. My eyes connected with Edward's, and the realization hit. The hitman was out to kill him, not us. My heart pumped fiercely.

I signaled Edward that I would jump on him, but it was too late. I heard the small noise from the silencer. Like I was watching in slow motion, I saw the bullet dig itself into Edward's skin. The hitman was skilled–– Edward would be dead in a matter of seconds, if he wasn't already. Panic flashed through me. "NO," I screamed.

"Bella! Bella! Wake up." Someone shook me. I jolted into an upright position. Edward kneeled and clasped his arms around me. I took a second to remember where I was, and then I noticed a bead of sweat making its way down my face. I couldn't fathom why I felt sweaty.

"Edward? What happened?"

"You were screaming." I was screaming? The dream.

"I'm sorry." The nightmare had shaken me more than I thought it ever could.

"Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong."

"I had a nightmare." It seemed childish to admit. I hadn't had one in years.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I couldn't find his eyes in the dark, but I wanted to see them.

"It was earlier, but it had a different ending. You—you got shot. You died." My body started shaking. The tears, that I had assumed I had run out of, came back.

"Shhh," he whispered, "I'm here. Everything's alright. Just lay down, okay?"

"Don't leave." My arms still had a tight grip on him.

"I won't." We both laid on the floor. Stroking my hair, he held onto me. I stared at the space under his bed. This was wrong, I was asking too much from him. But, I couldn't stop. I needed him right now more than ever.

"I'm scared to go back to sleep," I murmured.

"I'll be here, if anything happens." I put a small space between us. Big enough that I would be able to fall asleep but small enough that if I needed him to hold me he could. I sighed and curled up into a small ball.


I woke from being overheated. Squinting, I recognized that it was daylight. Once I opened my eyes fully, I noticed that I was curled up against Edward's bare chest. His arms drooped over my body and our legs were intertwined. This explains why I'm hot. Crap. This is going to give him the wrong impression.

Slowly, I tried to inch away from him, but with each movement, he held tighter. His eyes fluttered and I decided to close my eyes again. I can deal with the consequences later. Now, I relaxed every muscle. My mind drifted back to sleep.

Awaking a second time, I felt him bring me closer and then release me altogether. His warmth was suddenly gone, so I wrapped the blanket around me hoping to keep some of his body heat.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" My voice was rough. Taking a second to acknowledge last night, I started to apologize, "Edward, I'm so sorry for last night."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." He smiled my favorite crooked smile. My eyes traveled to the floor, momentarily stopping at his muscular chest. What the heck are you looking at Bella? Last night does not mean you're in a relationship. It was true, but I couldn't help but feel that that was the exact impression that I gave him.

"What were you going to ask me earlier?" I tried to divert my thoughts and the conversation.

"I was just going to make sure that you were all right."

"Yeah, I'm fine." I faked a smile, attempting to make it reach my eyes. He saw right through me but didn't persist. For that I was grateful. My head hit the ground again. Today's going to suck. I thought. But nothing can be worse than yesterday.

The day flew by. I spent most of the time dissecting every detail Jacob had ever given me, every sentence, every expression, each choice of word. The longer I thought the more oblivious I seemed. It was all there, it had always been there. The sweet nature was just a disguise for the random disappearances.

Writing in the notebook all of the contacts and locations he ever mentioned along with the bizarre things he had told me, I curled up on the couch. Edward watched my every moment as if I was about to fall apart again. And I would…if he wasn't here.

Night came upon us and I waited for him to go into his room, but we were playing a game of stalemate. He thought that I was going to run to do something crazy, so he wouldn't leave until he saw me go to bed. To be fair, I would do something, but his life was at stake. My main priority was to keep him safe. Still, I stayed sitting on the edge of the couch, not wanting to go to bed.

Eventually giving up, I shuffled into my room and closed the door. I listened as his footsteps led him into his.

I stared at the blank wall above me just thinking. Thinking became a burden, to consider what could have happened and what it could have been.

I curled the quilt up in between my fingers and waited for my exhaustion to take over. Laying still, many emotions plagued my head. The longer I laid the more time I had to think about how long I would feel this way. It couldn't be like this forever, could it?

Forcing myself to think about happier things, I switched sides hoping that that would be the trick. It wasn't. I ended up staring at the outline of the blinds made from the moonlight. Briefly glancing at the clock, I had been in bed for almost 2 hours with no luck. This isn't normal. Get a grip. But the harder I tried, the easier it was for the anxiety to course through me.

I huffed out a breath and just waited. Finally I allowed my mind to wander where it wanted, which wasn't a particularly pretty place, but it worked. Within minutes I was asleep.

I awoke when my door creaked open. Sitting up instantly, I grabbed my knife that I hid behind my headboard. Watching the intruder, I felt a cold sweat on my back.

"Bella?" The familiar voice called out.

"What do you want, Edward?" I didn't mean to be mean, but I was finally sleeping or so I thought.

He walked further into the room as I switched the light on. Dark circles formed under his eyes, he hadn't slept either.

"You screamed."

"I what?" Then I recalled the dream, if that's what you would consider it. The reoccurring nightmare came back into my thoughts. My body started to shake from fear. The longer I continued to think about the dream, the more realistic it became. He's bound to find out that Edward's not dead. He'll try again. Gasping, I started to hyperventilate. The breath came in and out quickly, but it didn't help. The feeling was completely new, I was in utter panic.

"Shush, Bella. Match my breaths." His chest moved slightly with each breath until I could breathe. Cloudiness filled my head, but I was present enough to realize that this was wrong.

Dark circles grew beneath his eyes. You're hurting him. Sitting in front of me, his arm laid on my shoulder. The contact soothed me, but I knew I had to stop it.

"What happened?" He inched closer to me.

"I had another nightmare."

"Do you need to talk about it?"

"No," the word was so sharp that he flinched back. "I'm doing okay. Go get some sleep. Sorry I woke you up."

He spoke his head in disapproval, "You don't need to apologize." Yes, I do. "And if you need anything please wake me up. Okay?" I nodded and thanked the clouds that they darkened the moonlight enough that he couldn't see my face.

"Goodnight Bella."

"Goodnight." Once he was out of my line of sight, I collapsed into myself. My knees pressed into my chest as my head tilted back with the sobs. Holding a cloth to my mouth, I tried my best to muffle the sounds. There was no need to worry him.

My lungs burned from the silent cries. Tears covered my face and clothing. They kept coming for hours. Picking up my phone, I dialed a number I knew by heart. It had been too long.

"Isabella?"

"Yeah, Dad."

"Honey, you sound terrible."

"I've done some bad things, Dad." My jaw clenched before I could release another sob.

"I'm sure you had good intentions." I nodded and hated that he still believed in me. I needed someone to hate me.

"It didn't matter in the end." Digging into my skin, my fingernails began to draw blood.

"Bella, dear, it doesn't matter to me. I love you unconditionally." Tears flowed freely down my cheeks.

"Where's Edward? He always makes you feel better. Where is he?"

Apparently my stress was evident through the phone because he began to speak quickly, "Hey, hey. Everything's going to be fine."

"Dad, I almost got him killed."

"But he's okay?" Worry laced his voice.

"Yeah he's okay."

"Then you'll be fine Bells. Listen honey, everything will be fine."

"Thanks, Dad. I'll let you go." I added unconditional love to the list of things I hated. And for once, I ended the conversation with my dad holding no hope in his words. He guided me in the past, but there was no good road to turn onto now.

Pushing a pillow against my mouth, I let out a light scream and succumbed to exhaustion.

The first thing I noticed as I awoke was the bright light shining through my window. It had to be about 9. Edward. All I could hear was his name bouncing around in my head. My heart raced as I realized I didn't know if he survived the night.

And then I heard the familiar sound of the shower. Thank god. Taking a deep breath, I laid back down. This was never going to end. I was always going to be this anxious about him. Once I heard his soft humming from the kitchen I got up. It was going to be a rough day.

"Bella," his smile brightened.

"Good morning, Edward," I slid onto one of the stools and propped my head up with my hand.

"Bella, we need to talk." My heart fluttered. About what?

I sat there completely still. Who knows what he could ask?

"I know you're still nervous about what happened a couple nights ago. I was wondering if you wanted to get another lock on the door or increase security." My stress vanquished.

"Yes I think that would make me feel a little better." A lot better.

I sat on the kitchen stool and texted "6?" to Jacob. Within thirty seconds, I got a smiley face in return. Edward hovered over me almost as if he knew there was something bad about to leave my lips.

"Edward, I'm going to see Jake today." Putting my hands behind my back, I subconsciously tried to make myself become smaller. He was going to yell at me, I could feel it.

"WHAT?" His eyes were like daggers into mine. Backing away, I stumbled onto the couch.

I stood up straight and gazed into his emerald eyes, "I have to do this," for you.

"No, you don't. Plus we haven't even talked about backup or anything like that. Bella, we need more time." Putting his head in his hand, he started to pace around the kitchen.

"The more time before I see him the more suspicious he gets. I think you forgot, I'm putting your life on the line here, not mine."

"This isn't safe."

"To hell with safe. I'm going to do this, but I need to know you're somewhere sensible before I leave." Images of a gun pointed at him filtered into my thoughts and made my heart shutter.

"Bella, don't go." It almost sounded like a plea; he made it sound like I was leaving forever.

"I'm going." It was final. There would be no way for him to stop me unless he physically held me here. "Where are you going to be while I'm gone? I need you safe before I do anything." I bit my lip; I didn't enjoy fighting with him.

"Alice's?"

"Not good enough."

His eyes widened. "What do you mean not good enough? She has a good security system and not many people are going to be able to get into her penthouse."

"I understand, but I need you with people I can trust to defend you."

"Defend me?"

"That wasn't meant to be an insult," I walked towards him, crossing my arms once I got to the counter. "I can't lose you," I whispered. His jaw dropped for a second before he recomposed himself.

"Okay, where should I go."

I thought through all the people that I would trust with his life; the list wasn't long. "Doesn't Emmett have today off?"

"Yeah I'm pretty sure."

"Go with him and stay inside. I don't need a sniper somehow finding you." His expression turned solemn, but he nodded in response.

My feet carried me towards him until I was only an arms length away. Raising my gaze, I knew he was unhappy with this. "I'm sorry. I don't want to control you, I just want you safe."

"What about you, Bella? What backup do you have?"

"I picked up a recording device and a camera, I should be covered."

"That's not what I meant," he gazed down.

"He's my boyfriend. I'll be fine." Turning away from me, he definitely didn't agree with me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. For a second, his lips parted as if he were going to say something but then decided not to.

"What time?"

"6." His eyes were still glued to the floor with his fingers on his temple.

"Bella, I don't like this." His green eyes bored into mine. If this wasn't for him, I would have given up already.

"You don't have to." Walking into my room, I sat on my quilt. You'll be fine.


I laid awake on my bed staring at the white ceiling above me. Dreading the time that passed, I listened to the ancient clock on my dresser tick. My eyes shifted towards a picture of Charlie and I in a blue frame. I hoped that he would be proud of this path I chose.

Sauntering into the kitchen, I was dressed in dark jeans and a light blue top—typical date attire.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" I know he was silently hoping that I would give in and not go on the "date."

"Yes. He's dangerous, Edward. He tried to hurt you." The memories flashed through my brain like a montage that you get when you die. "He's going to be caught.." This mess was going to go away, it had to.

"It's dangerous for you too."

"I don't care," I started to yell, "I'm going to do this."

"Okay, okay. Just remember to angle the button on your jacket to anything that looks important and make sure the recorder isn't squashed by anything. We don't want muffled voices."

"Got it," I took a deep breath before straightening out my jacket.


I had texted Jake the day before to meet at a nearby cafe. My heart pumped anxiously as I sat in my car trying to ready myself. My head was filled with so many emotions that I had to conceal. You have to be stronger than this.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I hoped to find confidence. You have to do this. Edward needs to be safe. Yes, Edward. He was my only motivator. I couldn't have anything happen to him.

I glanced at my car's time. Only 2 minutes before I needed to leave to see Jake. I checked my phone. Since he got shot, I always worried that I was missing something.

Good luck. I know you can do this. -E

Time ticked away and I opened the glass door. The smell of coffee and tea calmed me, but not enough. Scanning the room, I saw Jacob. He was standing by the register ordering something. His foot was tapping the ground methodically, but not out of impatience, no, it looked like more of a nervous habit.

The sight of him gave more conflicting emotions than I cared to admit. He turned around after he picked up his order; his eyes lighting up when he saw me. His big lovable grin pulled on my heart. It was just a lie.

"Bella!" His large arms enveloped me, and I wished to be anywhere else. Holding me for what seemed like ages, I tried to keep a focused mind. He was still my Jake from a few months ago. And, I knew that if I didn't concentrate hard enough, I wouldn't be as cautious as I should be.

"Jake. I missed you." Ughhh. Won't he just let go. I tried to hide my lie in enthusiasm.

Releasing me, he walked over to a table in the corner and pulled out my chair for me. I smiled falsely and watched him sit in the chair in front of me. This conversation was going to last forever.

"So, how's your stay with Alice?"

My first authentic grin graced my lips, "It's been amazing. She's so outgoing and spontaneous, she keeps me on my feet."

"Aw, that's great babe." He looked like he was fumbling over his words. "I'm sorry this is a little upfront, but are we a couple again?" His eyes begged me to say yes. While he bit his lip in anxiety, I took all of my anger and used it to look as genuine as possible.

"Of course Jake. I never actually broke up, I just needed some alone time, or should I say Alice time. I—" Before I could say anymore, he was standing up and I was suddenly in his arms.

His lips searched for mine, and I unwillingly gave in. The kiss was still sweet and passionate. There were so many times that I took comfort in his embrace, in his lips. The thought disheartened me. I wish he wasn't a bad guy, I wish he was my Jake.

"Babe what's wrong?" He pulled back. His puppy dog eyes saddened. Moving his hand up toward my face, my first instinct was to back away. He held me close as his hand wiped off a tear that I didn't know I had shed. "Honey, what's wrong?" He repeated.

"I just missed you so much." I choked out. I did miss him, the nice side of him. I loved him and I wouldn't forget that easily. Taking his face in my hands, I kissed him gently to continue the charade.

He held me for some time as I tried to stop the tears. It hurt for me to know that I had to fake this. But I was going to do it…for Edward. With him in mind, I regained my composure and sat back down.

"Here you should probably eat something," he pushed half of his sandwich my way.

Smiling slightly, I replied with a short "thanks" and started to munch on the sandwich. To be honest this situation made me nervous which in turn made me nauseous, so I wasn't too hip on eating.

"So what did you do while I was with Alice?" Maybe I can finally get something from him.

"Work." That was possibly the shortest answer possible.

"Anything interesting." Please say more. I need more to work with.

"Not really. I had to handle a couple business deals which didn't take long and then I cleaned out the office a little." At least I got that. He's very good at wording things, impressive.

"That sounds…fun?" I searched for the right word.

"It was as fun as I could be," he shrugged, "I still want to know more about what you did with Alice."

"We shopped and watched sucky movies and cooked together…just normal stuff."

"Oh that's cool." He became silent for some time. I watched the clock that was conveniently placed above his head. Time ticked by, it was becoming too long for a normal silence.

Finally, he started to talk, "Bella, I want to be completely honest with you."

"Yeah Jake." Was this the moment? Was he going to tell me about his criminal side?

"You don't look too good right now. Are you okay?" Well, that certainly was not what I was expecting. But he was right, I looked like crap. I tried to put makeup on earlier but without Alice's help I gave up. And I also haven't slept well since "the incident."

"I'm doing okay," I nodded but I didn't sound convincing, "maybe a little tired, but I'm fine."

"And you're 100 percent sure?" My god, how bad do I look? I quickly looked down. I thought I had lost a little weight since then, with the constant stress. But other than the weight, the bags under my eyes, and my lack of energy, I looked fine.

"Yes Jake I promise. I'm just tired."

"You haven't been sleeping well?"

"No not really, but I'm working on it." And on cue, I yawned.

"Aw baby, let's get you home. Do you want to come to my place?" I tried to conceal my shock.

"Not tonight Jake. I just want to be in my own bed for a while and I still have stuff to do before I go to sleep."

"Okay but promise me you'll finish up early so you can sleep." He gestured to leave and I followed him out the door.

"I promise," I kissed him on the cheek, "Love you."

"I love you Bella. I'll see you soon."

As soon as I was out of sight and in my car I worked my phone out of my pocket. Looking through my contacts, I searched until I found the right name. Alice.

"Hey Bella! What's up?"

"Do you want to go out for a drink?"

"Yeah, I'm down for a little Bella and Alice time. Where and when?"

"When's the soonest you can leave work?" I was desperate to get away from this situation.

"Um. Ten minutes. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm just dandy," my sarcastic remark sounded a little hurtful, "Sorry Ali, I didn't mean it like that. I've had a rough day."

"It's okay Bella. I'll meet you at Smuggler's Cove."

"Smuggler's Cove," I asked, almost laughing.

"You know I have to get my Pirates of the Caribbean fix somewhere. Plus they have 700 types of rum." I could hear her smile through the phone.

I laughed, "Okay Ali. I'll see you in a few."

Driving away from my problems, aka Jacob, I felt so much relief. I was ecstatic that Alice could go out with me tonight.


"BELLA," I heard a high pitched voice yell from across the street. She gracefully moved between cars to get to me and then enveloped me in a hug.

"It's great to see you Alice."

"You sound terrible. What happened?" She stepped back to appraise me. Her expression dropped just like Jake's did earlier. Ugh, why am I remembering him? I want to forget his name.

"I'll explain later, but I plan on getting a little tipsy first." Of course, I knew this wasn't how an adult was supposed to solve their problems, but I deserved a girls night. I hadn't seen Alice in forever.

"Okay," her smile brightened as we entered the nautical themed bar. Weird. There were ropes and crates hanging from the ceiling.

"Sit," she commanded before she ordered two strawberry daiquiris. "Drink." I did as she asked. The sweet substance was exactly what I needed.

After one more daiquiri and a couple shots, who knows how many, I slumped back in my chair and watched the people around me.

"So what's wrong Bella? I haven't seen you this down before."

And with me being a little out of it, I actually told the truth, "Well my boyfriend is a crime lord who's trying to kill your brother so…I'm currently staying as his girlfriend for undercover work to bring him down. Oh did I forget the part where my boyfriend hired a hitman twice on your brother. So yeah, everything's crap. Oh well," I downed another shot.

It was eerily quiet next to me. Turning to look at Alice, I could have sworn she was two shades paler. I went on to down another waiting for her response. She sat there completely still, almost catatonic.

"Alice, say something." I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her as hard as I could.

"What the actual hell?"

"I wouldn't have told you but you asked and this liquid stuff is really breaking down my wall."

"Bella," she put her arms around me. "It's going to be okay."

"Yeah eventually it is. Also you should know that I won't let any harm come to Edward."

"I know you won't. I trust you Bella. I'm just worried about you right now."

"I feel greattt," I started to slur my words. "I think I have to use the bathroom." Standing up, the alcohol didn't mix well with my balance issues so I swayed as I stood up. "Maybe I should just stay here for a while." Alice looked completely out of it so I stared off into the distance.

"Those guys over there bought these for you girls." The bartender held two daiquiris our way. I don't think I can take another one of these. Oh well, I sipped on my straw. Everything was becoming doubled but I ignored it.

A few minutes passed and I looked up at the clock. Only 10? Wow, that's early. I went to stand up again. My body didn't comply and I ended up…where… I didn't exactly know… because before I hit the ground, I passed out.


A/N: I hope you guys all enjoyed it. I really missed posting. Glad to be back. Hopefully this new chapter will be up quicker. Thank you guys for sticking with me all this time :)