Thanks to Ari for the beta!!

Welcome to Wonderland Chapter 7: Kangaroos and Georgia Peaches Too!

Alice straightened out her skirt as she stood on her great-grandparents' doorstep.

She hated nights like these.

She glanced behind her and watched her Uncle Luke's truck drive off. He and Lorelai had officially been excused from Friday dinner on account of their anniversary. Alice's father wasn't feeling well, and her mother had a conference dinner in Manhattan.

Alice was officially on her own.

The door opened and a woman she didn't recognized stood before her.

Alice blinked. "Uhmâ€hi"

The woman smiled. "Alice?"

She nodded uneasily. "Yeah."

"I'm Deirdre. Come in."

Alice nodded and stepped in. "So you're the new maid."

Deirdre nodded. "I am."

"Good luck with that." She wandered into the foyer and stopped in the doorway.

Sitting on one of the couches was a tall blond, who was much older than her.

Alice rolled her eyes and contemplated calling her uncle to come back for her.

"Alice!"

Too late.

She forced out a smile. "Hi."

Emily got up and gave her a hug. "Come in. Don't be shy."

Alice nodded and sat across from the blond.

Emily situated herself between the two. "Say, hello, Alice."

"Hello, Alice."

Emily cleared her throat.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Georgia."

Georgia Hayden surveyed her half-niece. "Alice."

Emily tried to smile. "Well, isn't this nice."

"Like a lobotomy," Alice smirked.

Georgia glared at her. "Ha, ha."

"Ten bucks says you don't know what a lobotomy is," Alice taunted.

"Who would like something to drink?" Emily asked. "Gigi?"

"Did you know that Miss Piggy called her poodle Gigi?" Alice asked. "Or was that Foo-Foo?"

"You're such a bitch!" Georgia snarled.

"Georgia!" Emily cried.

"Yeah? Well at least I'm not dumb, too," Alice smiled.

"Must the two of you always do this?!" Emily yelled.

"She started it," they said in unison.

Emily groaned. "Alice, go upstairs and find out why your grandfather is taking so long."

"Intelligent conversation!" Alice cried. "I'm so pleased!" She snickered as she hopped up and rushed for the stairs.

Georgia glared after her and shook her head.


"Grandpa?"

"In the bedroom!" he called.

Alice opened the door and peeked in. "Hi."

"Ah, Alice, come in." Richard got up from his plush chair, book in hand.

She smiled. "What are you reading?"

He sighed. "Pickwick Papers."

"Oh, I love that one," Alice said, taking the book and looking it over.

"I know," Richard chuckled. "I read it to you, remember?"

She nodded.

"Did you say hello to Georgia?" Richard asked.

She gave another nod.

"Did you insult her in the process?"

Alice grinned and nodded once more.

"Now, now," Richard scolded lightly. "What have we said about the treatment of those we're smarter than?"

"They're people, too," Alice muttered guiltily.

"Very good." He straightened his suit out and sighed. "Now, I assume it's dinner time?"

"Just about."

"Well then." He offered her an arm. "Shall we?"

Alice smirked and took it, setting the book down.

"How are your studies coming along?" Richard asked.

"Fine," Alice shrugged. "It's the socializing that's been more of a challenge."

"Oh?"

"Well... there's this boy, and... we've started... dating... or... we're going to... It's weird and confusing and kind of stupid..."

Richard gave a solemn nod. "And who is this young man?"

"Tristin Dugrey Junior."

"Ah... He comes from a very successful family."

"Huh."

He glanced down at his great-granddaughter. "You like this boy?"

She nodded, a little embarrassed. "Yeah."

"Well," Richard replied uneasily. "Just be wary."

"I will."

"I talked to your mother," Richard said, changing the subject quickly. "She tells me you're in the Chilton choir now?"

Alice nodded. "I am"

"Well, you must be making some friends there, yes?"

She shrugged. "Kind of... the sopranos don't really like me."

"Well, you're an alto. You shouldn't worry about them," Richard smiled. "You know, your great-grandmother has the most exquisite singing voice."

Alice smiled back. "Yeah?"

"Oh, yes. You certainly don't get your talent from your parents or grandparents."

Alice snickered. "Grandpa Chris still claims he can play a mean guitar."

Richard rolled his eyes. "Oh, hogwash."

Alice laughed a little as they entered the dining room.

"My goodness, you two are slow," Emily complained. "What took you?"

"We were merely having a conversation," Richard replied as he sat down. "I apologize."

"Hi, Richard," Georgia smiled.

"Gigi," He acknowledged.

Alice snorted loudly.

"Oh for god's sake!" Emily cried. "This is what happens when there's no one here to discipline her."

Alice cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Grandma... it's bad enough she's named after a state, but... the nickname..."

"Alice..." Richard warned.

"At least I'm not named for some stupid book," Georgia snarled.

"Ah, but it's a stupid book that millions of people have read," Alice pointed out.

"Stroke that ego, why don't you?" Georgia remarked snidely.

Alice smirked. "I think I will. It's better than stroking-"

Emily threw doing her fork loudly onto her plate. "I'm calling Jess."


Jess groaned when the phone rang. He sat up slowly on the couch and looked around.

No phone.

"Shit..."

RING!

He growled a little and pulled the phone out from under the couch cushion. "Hello?"

"Finally! Jess, Alice is being impossible!" Emily stated, obviously annoyed.

"Huh."

"Talk to her," Emily ordered. "She won't leave Georgia alone."

"I really don't care."

"You should care! She is being a menace!"

Jess sighed and sat back. "Georgia is almost 21 years old. Alice is 15..."

"Just talk to her," Emily snapped.

"Fine." Jess waited until the phone was picked up again.

"Hi, Dad."

"Alice, are you impersonating the goddess of chaos again?"

"Maybe a little."

"I don't feel well," Jess told her. "Emily woke me up out of a dead sleep; because of you."

"Sorry," she said guiltily.

Jess sighed. "Just... wait until Emily leaves the room, and then tag team Poodle Girl with Richard, okay?"

Alice snickered. "Yes, Sir."

"Okay. I'm..."


Alice blinked and leaned against the kitchen counter. "Dad? You okay?"

"Yeah," he replied. His voice was slightly strained. "I'm okay. I gotta go."

"Okay. I love you."

"Me, too. See you later."

Alice hung up the phone and shook her head a little, before walking back out into the dining room.


Jess lay back onto the couch and sighed, closing his eyes. He was drifting off to sleep just as the door opened. He thought about opening his eyes, but then decided against it. He heard shoes being kicked off against the wall, and the sound of feet padding over to him.

"Jess," Rory whispered.

"Hmmm."

"Are you feeling better?"

He opened an eye slightly. "Not really..."

Rory pouted a little. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," he muttered.

She hopped onto the couch and squeezed in to lie next to him.

He groaned and wrapped an arm around her. "What're you doing?"

Rory curled up into him and sighed. "Being cute."

Jess rolled his eyes. "How was the dinner?"

"Boring," she replied. "I wish you guys had been there to make weird comments."

"Next time," Jess replied sleepily.

Rory sat up and gave him a glance. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay? You don't need the hospital or anything, do you?"

"I don't need the hospital," he reassured her. "I'm gonna be fine."

She nodded and lay back down against him. "Okay."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly and mumbled what sounded something like "love" in her ear.

She smiled.


"Okay. I spy with my little eye†something that starts with K."

Luke rolled his eyes as they walked through Stars Hollow. "Do we have to do this?"

"Come on," Lorelai prodded. "Please?"

He sighed. "A kangaroo?"

Lorelai wrinkled her nose. "There are no kangaroos in Stars Hollow."

"You never know," Luke replied. "Kirk's been picking up some strange pets for Kira."

"Did someone call me my name?"

Lorelai smiled as Kirk walked up. "That's it!"

Luke squinted at his girlfriend. "What?"

"Kirk was what starts with K!"

Kirk nodded. "I do. Why are you talking about me?"

"We were playing I spy," Lorelai replied.

"You were spying on me?!" Kirk asked, shocked.

"No, Kirk, it's a game," Luke reassured him. "We're not spying on you."

"Oh... well... good," Kirk nodded. "I'd hate to have to call the cops on you... or Taylor."

Luke rolled his eyes.

"Oh! Oh!" Lorelai cried excitedly. "I spy with my little eye something that starts with A!"

Luke rolled his eyes. "Jeez"

Alice blinked as she walked up to them. "Hi."

"Hey, Babe," Lorelai replied, hugging her granddaughter. "How was dinner?"

"Fine," she replied. "Grandpa Richard and I talked books, and I insulted Georgia. A lot."

"Georgia was there?" Lorelai asked. "And you were allowed over there without supervision?"

Alice shrugged. "I guess they hoped I'd behave."

"No such luck, huh?" Luke asked.

The teen shook her head with a smirk. "Not a chance in hell."

"Come on, you," Luke snapped lightly, putting an arm around her. "Help close."

Alice sighed over-dramatically. "If I must."

Lorelai smiled at Kirk. "Have a good night."

Kirk nodded and watched her walk off after her boyfriend and granddaughter. He smiled a little, and began his walk home.