Big hugs to Ari, who rules!
Welcome to Wonderland Chapter 10: You Say it's Your Birthday…
"Hey, birthday girl."
Alice turned and smirked. "Hey, Tristin."
He walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "So, how's your day been?"
"Normal," Alice shrugged.
"Too bad," Tristin shook his head. "It's your birthday! You should be having an amazing day."
"It's not a big deal," she snickered.
"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" he asked.
"Family dinner, and then Emma and Joey are supposed to drag me somewhere. Why?"
He sighed. "Well, I was going to offer to take you to dinner…"
Alice frowned. "Oh… I'm sorry…"
He smirked. "Rain check?"
She nodded. "Definitely."
"Great," he replied. "Ready for chorus?"
She nodded again and they walked into the choral room.
Mr. E. rushed out of his office and sighed. "So, according to Dugrey and the altos, it's Mariano's birthday," he said as he shoved past his students who were still getting on to the risers. "As is custom, we will sing her happy birthday, and then I'll work your asses off." He got onto his podium. "Mariano, play a chord for them."
She nodded and walked to the piano. When E. had found out about Alice's piano prowess he'd made her the pianist. During rehearsals she played and sang the best she could every other day.
When they started singing to her, she blushed. The tenor and bass sections sang loudly and without skill, as did the altos. You could barely hear the sopranos; they all looked bored.
When their very bottom-heavy version of Happy Birthday was over, Mr. E. cut them off and sighed. "Good. Fine. Pull out the Misa Brive in F, please…"
Alice smiled and kissed Tristin once more. "I'm gonna miss my bus."
"I can drive you," Tristin told her.
She snickered. "You're gonna come back to Stars Hollow and get hosed down again?"
Tristin smirked. "I'm good-looking when I'm wet."
She shoved at him with a laugh. "Freak."
He was about to reply, but the sound of someone's loud car stereo prevented him from doing so.
Alice squinted. "Diamond Dogs?"
Tristin raise an eyebrow. "What?"
Jess's car zoomed up in front of them.
"Dad's not big on that song," Alice said.
The passenger's side door flung open, and a man a bit older than Jess hopped out. He wore a baseball cap over thinning, graying hair.
Alice's eyes widened. "Gramps?!"
Jimmy Mariano cracked a smile. "Hey, Doodle!"
Jess got out of the car just as Alice threw her arms around his father. He leaned against the car and watched with a wry smirk.
Tristin blinked, and mouthed "Doodle" to himself before clearing his throat softly. "Hi, Mr. Mariano."
Both Jess and Jimmy glanced over at the teen. The older Mariano let go of Alice and gave Tristin an once-over. "This Groin-Boy?"
Jess nodded.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Tristin, this is my grandfather, Jimmy Mariano. Gramps, this is my boyfriend, Tristin Dugrey."
"Hi," Tristin nodded. "Nice to meet you."
Jimmy nodded. "Sure."
Tristin sighed.
"So… what are you doing here?" Alice asked Jimmy.
Jimmy gave her a confused look. "It's your sweet sixteen. Where in hell else would I be?"
Alice smiled and hugged him again. "So… did Auntie Sasha come with? And Lily and Dom?"
"Nah, they didn't make it," Jimmy replied.
Alice nodded a little and glanced at Tristin; then she turned to her father. "Dad?"
"Yes, Doodle?" Jess asked mockingly.
She glared. "Can Tristin come to dinner tonight?"
Jess scratched the back of his head. "I don't know, Ali… it's kind of a family thing…"
Alice gave him pleading eyes. "Auntie Sookie always makes too much food… and… he's the boyfriend, who offered to take me to dinner and got turned down…"
Jess groaned. "Fine, but if Emily kills him, it's not my fault."
"He looks like a snot if I ever saw one," Jimmy said. "Emily'll love him."
Tristin was about to protest, but Alice put a hand to his mouth. "Tristin and I will meet you guys at the house."
"Hey!" Jess called.
Alice turned just as he tossed something to her. Her eyes widened. "Oh my god!"
Tristin gave her a confused look.
Alice showed him the box, but that did nothing to ease his confusion.
"It's a Voodoo Lab Sparkle Drive!"
"Give it up, Alice," Jess smirked. "He doesn't get it."
"It's a guitar overdrive pedal," Alice explained. She smiled at Jess. "Thank you!"
"Happy birthday," he nodded. "Let's get moving. If we're not home before dinner, Sookie might kill someone."
Alice nodded and took Tristin by the hand. "Bye, guys!"
Both men nodded and watched them walk toward Tristin's car.
"I don't like him," Jimmy said.
Jess rolled his eyes. "Get in the car, old man."
Tristin started up the car. "I don't know if I can keep your family straight."
Alice smirked. "They're quite a brood, aren't they?"
Tristin nodded.
"Okay," she said. "Here's how it goes: You've met the two Lorelais."
"Your mother and her mother."
"And you've met Dad and his Uncle Luke, who is dating my Grandma Lorelai."
Tristin nodded. "Yeah."
"You just met Dad's Dad."
"Uh-huh."
"Sasha is his wife."
"Your father's mom."
Alice shook her head. "Step-mom."
"…Oh…"
"She's not here… Maybe Grandma Liz and Uncle TJ will show up…"
"Who are…?"
"Dad's mom and step-dad… Oh! And Grandpa Chris and Auntie Sherry… and Gigi…"
"Uh…"
"Mom's dad and step-mom and half-sister…"
"Wow…"
"Yeah… Oh! And-"
"No more!" Tristin cut her off quickly. "Just… make me a diagram or something…"
"But I didn't tell you about Uncle Jackson and Auntie Sookie and Bean… Grandma Emily and Grandpa Richard, and-"
"Diagram, please."
"Okay."
"There she is," Lorelai said with a big smile. "Hi, Babe!"
"Hey, Grandma," Alice replied, as she walked in the door, with Tristin following behind her.
"Oh!" Lorelai smirked. "Sookie! We got an extra!" she called into Rory and Jess's kitchen.
"No problem!" Sookie called. "Hi, Ali, sweetie! Happy birthday!"
"Thanks, Auntie Sookie!" Alice called.
A pair of thick arms grabbed Alice from behind and lifted her off the ground.
"AH! DAVIE-BEAN!"
Davie laughed. "Hey, Kiddo."
"Hi!"
"Happy birthday!"
Alice snickered. "Thanks! "
Davie glanced over at Tristin. "Who's the tool?"
"Boyfriend. Tristin, this is Davie Melville."
"Hi," Tristin replied awkwardly.
Davie nodded and set Alice down. "Tristin."
"Davie."
Alice rolled her eyes, and turned to the door just as Luke walked in carrying a pie.
"Pie!" Alice cried.
"After dinner," Luke ordered. "Not now."
Alice pouted. "But I'm the birthday girl… birthday girl wants pie…"
"Later."
"But…"
"No," Luke ordered.
"What kind of pie is it?"
"Apple and raisin."
"Ew," Alice replied, wrinkling her nose. "That's gross. Why would you get pie I hate for my birthday?"
"He didn't," Lorelai said. "He's just saying that to keep you away from the oreo-crème pie."
Alice's eyes widened.
"Now look what you did!" Luke snapped.
They argued all the way into the kitchen.
Tristin looked around the house, feeling a little out of place. Jess and Jimmy had yet to show up… not that he was really looking forward to being around them; they obviously hated him.
He probably shouldn't have come.
Rory smiled as she walked down the stairs. "Hey."
"Hey, Mom!" Alice cried. She held up the effects box. "Look what Dad got me!"
"I know," Rory smirked. "He cheated and gave it to you early." She brought her hands out from behind her back, producing a plastic crown and a bright pink feather boa.
"Oh, no," Alice groaned with a laugh.
"Oh, yes!" Rory smiled. "Gilmore tradition!" She placed the crown on top of her daughter's head and then put the boa around her neck.
Alice giggled and turned to Tristin. "How ridiculous do I look?"
"Very," Tristin nodded.
"We're back!" Jess called, walking in the door with Jimmy.
"Good!" Sookie cried. "Just in time for dinner… where on earth is Jackson?"
"And my parents," Lorelai added. "They were supposed to be here by now."
"Didn't we tell them eight?" Jess asked.
"I called and told them to come earlier for dinner," Rory explained. She wrapped her arms around Alice. "Look at our daughter. Isn't she pretty?"
"In a very strange way, yes she is," Jess replied.
"Why would Grandma and Grandpa be coming later?" Alice asked.
"Because I accidentally told them to come at eight," Jess replied.
"What were you doing inviting Grandma Emily over?" Alice asked. "You don't-"
"Sorry we're late," Emily said, as she and Richard walked through the door. "Traffic was disastrous."
"That's okay," Rory smiled. "We're all glad you made it."
"Yeah," Jess muttered.
Richard smiled as Alice turned to face him and gave her a hug. "My goodness, you look just like your mother when she was your age."
"It's the crown," Alice grinned.
"It must be," the older man chuckled.
"We're late, we're late!"
"Grandma Liz!" Alice cried. "Uncle TJ!"
Jess rolled his eyes. "Great…"
"Baby Girl!" Liz cried, wrapping Alice in a tight hug.
Tristin stood on the sidelines, just watching the large group of people gathered in the tiny front hall.
It was hard to believe there would be more as the evening went on.
The table was packed.
"Sookie, you've really outdone yourself with all of this," Emily commented.
"Thank you," Sookie beamed.
Davie burped loudly, and blushed. "Beg your pardon."
"So, Alice, how does it feel to be sixteen?" Richard asked.
She nodded. "Pretty good… I wish I were eighteen… then I could vote… and buy lotto tickets…"
"And pornography," TJ added. "Can't forget the pornography."
Most of the adults at the table stared at him in either shock or annoyance. Liz snickered, along with Davie and Alice.
"Yeah, TJ," Jess snapped. "That's exactly what I'm gonna get my kid for her eighteenth birthday."
TJ nodded, taking him seriously. "I hear Playgirl is very popular."
Emily shook her head and got to her feet. "I need the restroom."
Sookie giggled and got to her feet. "I have to go check on dessert."
Davie shook his head and snickered. "I… I have to go laugh my ass off." He rushed after Sookie.
"Davie!" Jackson cried, getting up as well. "Don't leave me here alone!" He rushed into the kitchen, too.
Alice was giggling uncontrollably.
Tristin cleared his throat. "Is it always like this?"
Alice nodded. "Both sides of the family are rarely ever here at the same time…" She glanced at Jimmy, who was mirroring the half-horrified, half-annoyed look Jess was giving TJ. Alice giggled more. "He's getting the Mariano gawk in stereo."
Tristin shook his head.
"So, Liz, TJ, what have you guys been up to?" Luke asked. "I haven't heard from you lately."
Liz took TJ's hand. "We opened up a jewelry shop up in Maine."
"Wow," Lorelai smiled. "That's great!"
"Thanks," Liz smiled back. "We're very proud of it."
"Why Maine?" Luke asked.
"Cause our car broke down there," TJ replied. "We figured it was destiny."
Richard cleared his throat. "I think I'm going to go outside and get some air."
"Mind if I join you?" Luke asked.
"Not at all," Richard replied pleasantly.
"So what have you got planned for the rest of the night?" Rory asked Alice.
She shrugged. "I don't know. Joey, Emma and Molly are supposed to show up and take me somewhere. They didn't say where."
At that moment, Joey came bursting into the dining room. "Hi!"
"Hey, Joe," Rory smiled.
He nodded, took Alice by the elbow and dragged her to her feet.
"Hey!" Alice cried. "I didn't get to have pie!"
"Tough," Joey replied. "We gotta go."
Alice pouted as he dragged her out of the house, giving her enough time to get her coat.
Tristin got up, but Rory pulled him back down. "No boyfriends allowed."
He grumbled, and looked around the table.
"So," TJ cleared his throat. "You're Alice's boyfriend."
Jess snorted.
Tristin nodded slowly.
"Tell me," TJ snapped. "What are you exact intentions?"
Tristin stared.
Jess slammed his head down on the table.
On the porch, Luke and Richard watched Emma place a purple blindfold over Alice's eyes.
"What's the point of this?" Alice asked.
"It's kinky," Emma smiled.
Richard stared in slight shock.
Joey stared back. "In a completely innocent and platonic way… Sir."
Richard raised an eyebrow.
Luke sighed. "Don't get into too much trouble, please… I don't stay out too late! She's gotta work the morning shift tomorrow."
"You're such a party pooper, Luke," Molly told him. "Chill out."
"Don't mess with me, Molly, I don't let you walk all over me like your father does," Luke told her.
"Leave Uncle Brian alone!" Alice told him, stumbling a little. She couldn't see, and therefore was liable to run into things.
"Be careful, please," Richard called out. "There is no need to get a concussion on your birthday."
"I'll be okay!" Alice told him. "I know this town up and down. I can- OW!" She ran into the mailbox. "JEEZ!"
"We'll take care of her," Emma promised with a smile. "No worries."
"Okay," Lorelai sighed, looking around her overly-decorated house. "We've got food. We've got streamers, and the happy birthday banner, and cake-"
"That goes under food, Lor," Christopher commented.
"Right," she said. "We've got the Mariano clan, the Danes clan, the Gilmores, the Haydens, the friends, the boyfriend… do we have ice?"
"I brought enough ice to supply an entire penguin habitat," Luke told her.
"I knew there was a reason I was dating you," Lorelai smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
"Ssshhh!" Jess called. "They're coming!"
Everyone dove into hiding positions, and Jess turned out the lights.
They waited.
And waited.
Rory hopped up from her hiding place behind the couch. "Jess! Stop messing with us!"
He smirked. "It's just too easy."
Luke got up and glared at him. "Knock it off."
Everyone got up and began milling around again.
Jess glanced out the window again. "Okay. They're here."
"Not falling for it again, Jess," Lane told him.
Jess shrugged. "Okay. Whatever."
And then the door opened.
"Oh… Whoa!"
The entire room stopped dead in their tracks.
Jess smirked at his daughter. "Surprise."
Lorelai glowered at her son-in-law. "It is so lynch mob time."
"I tried to tell you," Jess replied. "It's not my fault you didn't believe me."
"Get him," Luke snapped, and he and Lorelai chased Jess.
Alice snickered, and watched them run off, and then turned back to the group ahead of her.
"Happy birthday," Lily shrugged.
"Her first steps were taken in my office while I was on a conference call to Alaska," Richard chuckled. "I started cheering, and the boys were so confused that they hung up on me."
Alice sighed and buried her head into Tristin's shoulder. "Must we tell embarrassing Alice stories?"
"It wouldn't be your birthday party if we didn't," Jess commented, taking a sip of his beer.
"Then why not tell a few embarrassing Jess stories," Sasha snickered. "Like the first time he tried to change her diaper?"
Jess glared.
"Refresh my memory," Lily said. "Was that superglue you used, or just plain old Elmer's?"
"And, I think its present time!" Jess called.
Alice smiled. "Yay!"
Madison, Elise and Stephanie spotted the group of trendy-looking girls walk through the grass on the Mariano's front lawn.
Kayla was in the lead.
"Uh-oh," Elise commented.
Charlie smirked and walked up to them, carrying the garden hose. "I've got it."
When they heard a few screaming voices from outside, Alice turned to the window, and saw Charlie spraying Kayla and her friends with the garden hose.
She smiled at him and he gave her a grin and a nod.
She turned back to her gifts and the people in front of her and smiled.
Most of the guests had left by around two in the morning, much to Taylor's chagrin, and Rory sat curled up on the porch swing with Jess.
"Wow," she muttered as she pulled the quilt over them. "She's sixteen."
Jess nodded.
"Soon, she'll be looking at colleges… graduating high school…"
Jess snickered a little. "Didn't we just potty train her?"
"That's what I thought," Rory drawled tiredly. "What happens when she goes away to college?"
"Then… she goes away to college," Jess replied. "Who knows if she'll even go to college."
She looked up at him oddly.
"Never mind," he muttered.
From inside, they heard a couple of electric guitars, along with a bass, and a set of drums accompanied by voices singing along to a Led Zeppelin song.
"How mad do you think Taylor's gonna be?" Jess asked with a small smile.
"Very," Rory yawned. "They sound good."
Jess nodded. "They do. And I think that's Dave and Zach singing."
"Immigrant Song, right?" Rory asked.
Jess gave another nod.
"I'm gonna miss this when she goes away," Rory said, wrapping an arm around Jess.
"Its gonna be a couple of years yet," Jess reassured.
"Yeah, but… it's not such a long time," Rory pointed out, sitting up a little.
Jess narrowed his eyes at her. "What are you trying to say?"
She sighed and slumped against him. "I don't know."
He shifted a little. "Well, when you figure it out, let me know."
She nodded a little and turned around to look into the living room window. The song had changed, and she saw Alice smile and play her guitar. "Hey Jess?"
"Hm?"
"I think I want another baby."
