Day 13: Going to See Santa
"Hey, Auntie, are we going to see Santa this year?" asked the little Bell.
Alfia made a humming sound as she continued to cut vegetables. She did have a soup to make, after all. Even if it was just her and Bell having dinner, she wanted to ensure it carried all the nutrients Bell would need to be happy and healthy. She smiled when she felt a tug at her dress; she looked to find little 8-year-old Bell staring up at her.
"Are you going to see Santa?" he asked. "I have a big present I want to ask him for!"
Alfia paused. She knew that the words could mean something very different than she thought. Ever since she had adopted her sister's son, Alfia knew that a child's mind had very different understandings than adults.
"Oh, and what are you going to ask for?" asked Alfia.
Bell shook his head. "No! I can't tell you about it! If I do, then Santa won't bring it to me!"
Alfia reached down to ruffle Bell's hair and then gave it a sharp pull. Bell took the pain in silence, holding in his secret Santa wish. Alfia frowned but let go. The parenting books she had picked up made it clear that pain wasn't a good way to get children to communicate. Alfia only tugged on their ears because it would make her feel better. So, she tried to limit how bad it was. Just enough to release some stress. Looking down at Bell, who was rubbing his ear, Alfia decided on a different tactic. She turned back to her soup and shook her head.
"Oh well, I guess I'll have to tell Santa what you said," started Alfia. "Little boys who keep secrets from their aunts shouldn't get gifts from Santa after all."
Alfia didn't look at Bell, but she did hear his gasp of quiet horror. Suppressing the urge to grin, Alfia focused on the soup, waiting for Bell to come to her. It took a minute, but then she felt another tug on her apron.
"Ummm…Auntie Alfia?" he asked.
"Yes, Bell?" replied Alfia.
"I'll tell you what I want to get Santa, but you have to bend down so I can whisper it," said Bell.
Alfia nodded. "That sounds fair to me."
She bent low, pushing her hair behind her ear. She felt Bell lean in close and cup his hands near her head.
"I'm gonna ask Santa to bring my parents back," said Bell.
Alfia felt her heart stop. She couldn't breathe, couldn't talk, and could barely pay attention to the rest of Bell's sentence. When she was finally able to focus back in, Bell seemed to be finishing some kind of speech.
"And well…while I do love you, Auntie, I really miss my mama and papa," finished Bell.
Alfia took a minute to compose herself. Looking through the index of her mind, she found nothing about how to handle this kind of situation. The parenting books weren't helpful, and neither was anything else she could think of. So, she chose the path of honesty.
"Well…you see, Bell, it's not that simple," explained Alfia. She grabbed Bell's chin, so she knew she had his full attention. "You see, Santa can't go where your parents went. Because they passed away Bell. Do you remember when I told you about that?"
Bell nodded, the frown on his face only getting deeper.
"You said that they died, and that meant that they wouldn't be able to see me anymore," responded the little boy. "That their plane crashed, and they didn't make it out."
Alfia gave him a melancholic grin while she ruffled his hair.
"Right…and well, bringing them back…from where they went is something so hard even Santa can't do it." Alfia stood up, an idea striking her. "That said, I think I have something that might be a little bit helpful." She held out a hand. "Follow me, Bell."
Bell reached up to grab her hand, and Alfia scooped him up. The little boy protested, claiming that he was too old for this, but Alfia just giggled and peppered him with kisses. She carried him all the way up to her room, only stopping to place him on her bed.
"Now, sit still for a second," she said.
Then, Alfia reached under the bed, rummaging for a specific box.
"Where did I put the damn thing…it has to be around here somewhere," she said, flailing in the dark. Eventually, her arm nudged against something with a wooden thunk. "Aha! There you are, you miserable piece of…stuff."
She pulled herself up from the bed, dragging the box with her. It was old and wooden with brass clasps. Alfia popped them open and started taking out white envelopes. She gave one to Bell.
"Here, take a look at this," she said.
Bell used his little child finger to peel open the envelope. And from the inside spilled out numerous photos. Bell vaguely recognized the people in them.
"These are your parents Bell," explained Alfia. "And while you can't see them in person, I want you to have these. So that you can always remember what they look like." She kissed the top of his head. "Merry Christmas, my little white rabbit."
They didn't end up going to see Santa that day. Bell wanted to spend all his time with his Aunt, who he said he loved many times throughout the day. The two looked at pictures, and Alfia told her little sister and her funny husband all the stories she could remember.
When the two finally did go to the mall, they met another adopted mother and child couple. A gorgeous young woman named Riveria, with a child with golden hair named Ais. From the way Bell seemed to blush and try to hide behind Alfia's legs, the woman thought that her little man had found his first crush. After they sat down with Santa, Alfia suggested that she and Riveria meet up and organize a playdate. The younger woman automatically agreed.
Ais and Bell said their goodbyes, with Ais absentmindedly running her hand through Bell's hair. The two moms giggled at the sight of Bell standing absolutely still.
"Your hair's soft," said Ais. "Like a bunny's fur." She tilted her little head. "Will you be my bunny?"
Alfia decided that that was enough for her Bell for one day.
"Merry Christmas!" she called. "See you soon, Riveria; it's a date!"
The End
Hestia had her own sad smile as she finished the quilted square.
"You know, sometimes we don't always get the gift we asked for," she said. "But we often find a much gift waiting for us in the wings. So, keep an open mind for this holiday, ok?"
