Welcome to Wonderland Chapter 14: Suspended Adventures

Jess sighed as he pulled up the driveway of Paris Gellar's home. He'd taken Alice and Mitch with him to work; Alice, because she'd wanted to, and Mitch, because Paris was too busy. She had instructed Jess to torture Mitch has much as possible, as they were suspended, and should not be allowed to have any fun.

But this, of course, was Jess Mariano.

He glanced into his rearview at the tall blonde boy. "So…I got lazy and didn't do the whole torturing thing. Personally, I don't care if you guys dress up as circus clowns as long as you actually go to class."

Alice snickered.

"So…what do I tell my mom?" Mitch asked.

Jess shrugged. "Tell her I made you watch old episodes of the Sonny and Cher show…or…that I made you file things…or something."

Mitch frowned. "She's not going to believe me."

"Cry," Jess snapped. "Cry like you've never cried in your life. Cry like your trust fund is completely used up and you are now poor as dirt."

Mitch smirked and saluted as he opened the car door. "Yes, sir."

Alice smirked and waved at Mitch. She watched as his smirk transformed into the saddest expression she'd ever seen. She even saw his eyes tearing up. "Wow, he's really good at that."

Jess nodded as he put the car in drive. "Good boy, Mitchy. Good boy."

Alice giggled more and turned up the stereo as they sped off.

------

"Madison!"

She blinked and looked up from the book she'd been reading. She was still having trouble getting used to her father's enormous house. It seemed to be ten times the size of her mother's, with a tenth of the breakables. It was entertainment based, mostly, with an indoor pool, and an entire room devoted to a giant television and a slew of plush couches.

"Maddy!" her father's voice called from the front hall again.

Madison got to her feet, and made her way out of her room, and down the stairs, her book in hand. "Yes?"

Logan smiled. "Hey. You been locked up in your room all day?"

She nodded. "I'm suspended."

"Yes," he nodded back. "You're suspended. Wanna go to the movies?"

She gave him a confused look. "But I'm-"

"Suspended," he finished. "I know. But I'm bored."

Madison giggled. "You could do work."

"That's boring," Logan whined. "Let's do something! Oh! Hey! There's this great new restaurant in Manhattan that just opened up. I've heard they have the best chestnut ravioli around."

Madison smiled a little.

"Come on," Logan coaxed. "You still love that stuff, right? You remember when you were four, and we went to Tuscany? It was the only thing I could get you to eat."

She nodded. "I remember."

Logan smiled widely. "And then we could go to a movie…or a play…or go shopping…"

Madison put up a hand. "I really don't need to go shopping."

"Sure you do!" Logan said. "Oh, come on! I barely get to spend any time with you. Do you want a pony? I can totally get you a pony."

"Dad!"

"Books! You love books!" Logan went on. "You're holding one right now! I could take you on a book spree. Any book you want. Hardbacks, paperbacks, books that don't exist anymore."

"You're proving Mom right, you know," Madison said softly. "Mitch is probably having the worst time ever."

"I don't care," Logan replied. "I don't care what Paris thinks of me. All that matters right now, is that my favorite daughter-"

"Only daughter," she corrected.

"Favorite daughter is here for a week. I have her all to myself for an entire week for the first time in god knows how long. I don't want her to spend it locked up in her room," he finished.

They stood in silence, until Madison sighed and marked her page in her book. She slowly grinned. "Can I wear something pretty?"

"You're always pretty," Logan replied. "You're my kid."

------

"Mitchum!"

"No!"

Paris sighed and tapped her foot. "Mitch! Come on! We have a reservation to keep!"

He rolled his eyes as he made his way down the hall to the front door. "I thought I was grounded."

"You are," Paris snapped. "But…you must be hungry, lugging around all day with Jess and Alice."

"Yeah, I guess," Mitch nodded, looking at his feet.

Paris shook her head. "Jess didn't make you do anything at all, did he?"

He tried his best to keep from smiling.

"So? You sat around all day?" Paris asked.

"I played video games," Mitch offered quietly.

She groaned. "I should kill Jess." She watched her son rock back and forth on his heels and toes. "Oh…who am I kidding…your father was right…It was ridiculous to get upset over what happened…"

Mitch finally smiled. "Kinda."

"Come on," she sighed. "Let's go to dinner…then we'll…I don't know…what is your favorite movie?"

"Octopussy," he replied automatically. He blinked and shut his mouth, wondering why he just said that to his mother.

She stayed silent, before nodding. "Fine…we'll…watch…that. After dinner."

"Promise not to complain?" Mitch asked.

"I…"

He grinned. "Come on…"

Paris rolled her eyes. "Fine. Fine! Can we go to dinner now? Please?"

Mitch gave another grin, and opened the front door. "After you."

------

The four of them sat in the master bedroom, waiting.

Alice stared at her mother. "You really peed on a stick?"

"That's what a pregnancy test is," Rory replied evenly. "You pee on a stick."

"Ew."

"One day you'll have to pee on a stick, too," Lorelai said.

"Don't say that," Jess snapped. "Don't ever say that. She's never peeing on a stick."

"Aw, Jess doesn't wanna be a grandpappy," Lorelai snickered.

Rory gave her mother a confused look. "Did you just say 'grandpappy'?"

"It's a good word," Lorelai said.

Jess turned to Alice. "You're never peeing on a stick."

"You got that right," Alice replied. "That's just weird."

At that moment, the timer on Rory's phone went off, and all four of them fell silent.

Rory took a deep breath and got up. "Okay…let's look at the stick."

"That you peed on," Alice added.

"Stop it," Rory ordered. "This is a very somber moment."

"You peed on a stick."

"Stop acting like your uncle Luke," Lorelai said. "It's weird."

"So is peeing on a stick," Alice muttered.

"Can we look at it already?" Jess asked.

Rory sighed and picked up the stick. She closed her eyes, and turned it over. "I can't look."

"Yes you can," Jess said, getting up and walking over to her. "Open your eyes."

"No."

"Please?"

"I can't look."

Jess sighed, and looked at the test. "Negative."

Rory's eyes flew open. "What!"

Jess smirked. "Kidding."

"It's positive?" Lorelai asked, getting up.

Rory turned around with a nod and smile. "It's positive."

Lorelai squeaked and rushed over to hug her daughter. "Oh! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you guys!" She took the stick from her daughter and looked at it with a grin. "Yay."

"Aw, Grandma, don't touch the pee stick," Alice whined. "Ew."

"Get over here and celebrate," Jess ordered. "Your mom's knocked up."

Rory hit him in the arm. "Jess!"

Alice smirked and got to her feet, hugging her mother. "Congratulations. Can you throw the stick out now?"

"Nope," Rory giggled. "We're puttin' it in your room."

Alice pulled back with a frightened look on her face.

Lorelai laughed and wrapped an arm around her granddaughter. "So easy."

-----

"Logan! Hello!"

Logan glanced up from his plate of pasta to see his mother standing over their table. He sighed and slurped up his food, before swallowing it. Loudly. "Mom. Hi."

Shira Huntzberger smiled tightly. "What brings you here tonight?"

"Food," Logan replied obviously.

Madison cleared her throat quietly to get the older woman's attention. "Hi, Grandma Shira."

"Hello, Dear," Shira replied uninterestedly. "How is business, Logan?"

Madison sank in her seat.

"Fine," Logan replied shortly. "If you'll excuse me, Mom, I'm trying to have dinner with my daughter."

"Where is Mitchum?" Shira asked.

"He's with Paris for the week," Logan replied.

"What is he doing there?" Shira asked. "Why isn't he here?"

"He's spending time with Paris," Logan said. "And Madison is here. By the way, she's fine. She's getting wonderful grades, and she's very lovely. You'd know if you looked at her. Now. Please."

Shira eyed her granddaughter warily. "She's far too skinny. Her hair is dull, and her dress looks like it was bought at a two-for-one sale. Honestly, Logan. Letting Paris raise her? What were you thinking?"

"Hey!" Logan cried indignantly, getting to his feet. "That's my kid you're insulting! You take that back!"

"You're far too old to make a scene, Logan," Shira sighed.

"Like that's ever stopped me," he snapped. "Apologize!"

"I can't," Shira said.

"What! Why!"

"Because she's gone," Shira pointed out.

Logan whirled around to find Madison's chair empty. "Dammit!"

-----

They'd decided to order in when the line at Paris's favorite café wound up being ridiculous. Mitch was in the middle of his fourth slice of pizza when his phone rang. He put his plate down and turned it on, putting the movie on mute. His mother had tried to watch, honest, but she'd fallen asleep.

"Hello?" he asked quietly.

"M-Mitch?"

He sat up. "Madison?"

"Hi."

"What's wrong?"

"I…" she sighed and sniffled. "I went out to dinner with Dad…and Grandma showed up…and she said mean things…and then Dad tried to make her take them back…and I ran…"

"Where are you?" Mitch asked.

"In the restaurant's bathroom," she said quietly.

"Madison?"

She blinked and sniffled.

Mitch squinted. "Was that…Dad?"

"Yeah…"

"In the lady's room?"

"Yeah."

Mitch burst into laughter. "Call me when you get home, okay?"

"Okay," she said quietly. "Bye."

"Bye, Sis." He turned off the phone and snickered, picking up his pizza again.

------

Madison hung up the phone and sniffled.

"Maddy?"

She got out of the stall she'd been hiding in and blinked at her father. "What are you doing in here?"

"I came to talk to you," Logan said. "I wanted to apologize for your grandmother…"

"It's not your fault," Madison said quietly. "She's always like that."

"She shouldn't be," Logan replied. "You're not too skinny, and your hair is pretty, and the dress is great. Really."

"Thanks," she said quietly.

He sighed. "I'm really sorry."

"Can we just leave?"

Logan nodded. "Yeah. You need to wash your hands?"

"I didn't actually use the toilet," Madison muttered.

Logan smirked and wrapped an arm around her, leading her out of the girl's room, and bumping right into his father. "Dad…"

Mitchum Huntzberger blinked. "Logan. Madison."

Madison blushed.

"Is there…something you'd like to say, Logan?" Mitchum asked, glancing at the lady's room emblem on the door behind them.

Logan grinned. "I needed to change my tampon."

Madison elbowed him. "Bye, Grandpa." She took her father's arm and dragged him out of the restaurant.

Logan cracked up into laughter. "Do you realize we just dined and dashed!"

Her eyes widened. "What!"

"I didn't pay," Logan laughed more. "Wow! My little girl, the bad seed. Someone has been hanging out with the Mariano clan way too much!"

"We are going back in there to pay!" Madison cried. She took his arm again, and began to drag him back in.

Logan laughed harder. "Madison! Wait!"

"The worst night of my whole life."

"Madison!"

"I hate this family so much."

"Maddy!"

"What!"

"I was kidding," Logan grinned.

She stared at him. "I'm walking home."

"Oh, Maddy, come on."

"Bye, Dad."

He sighed and rushed after her, "Take a joke!"

"Grow up!" she snapped. "God just…You can't revert to a pre-teen every time your parents show up!"

"What are you talking about?" Logan asked.

Madison turned around to face him. "When it's just me…or me and Mitch…you act like a dad. Like an adult. Every time we see Shira and Mitchum, you flip out, and turn into an eighth-grader! You can't keep doing this!"

He merely stared at her.

She sniffled a little and wiped her eyes. "Can we just go home now?"

Logan nodded slowly. "Yeah…come on…" He patted her shoulder gently and led her to the car.