Hello, hello. Remember me? I know it has been a while, and I apologize. I've been wanting to write for awhile, just haven't found the time. I only have about three weeks left in the semester and have been working non-stop, so it's so hard to find the time. Today I should've been writing an essay but I needed a break and felt inspired to write Naley instead.

This is one of my favorite's I have written in a long time, and I hope you enjoy it. A huge shoutout to othfangirl for this brilliant idea. It was so fun to write, I actually couldn't stop once I started. (It's based on the song 'Wonder' by Josh Turner).

This is probably the only thing you'll see from me for about the next month, unfortunately. I have to finish up with finals, and I'll be celebrating my 20th birthday next week. After that, I have a pretty busy summer lined up (I'm going to London!) but I promise I'll make time to squeeze in some updates for 'Halo'. A lot of you have been asking for updates, and I promise I'm not abandoning it. Anyways, I hope this holds you over until then :)

((Also, if you haven't already, please check out my friend Mel's fic, 'The Light's That Guide You Home' — it's absolutely phenomenal. ))

. . . .

I wonder

Do you think about me

flying down the highway

just you and the radio?

The lyrics of the unfamiliar country tune pulled at Nathan, tugging his right hand from the steering wheel to gravitate closer towards the volume knob. He was never one for country music, but lately, he couldn't bring himself to change the station— not when it was the only way he still felt connected to her.

So, here he was, racing down the empty highway, listening intently to the music as if the singer was speaking directly to him.

He felt his mind gravitating, wondering if she was out there, somewhere, listening to the same song and thinking of him, too. The ghost of a smile traced Nathan's lips as an image displayed through the eyes of his mind.

He could see her clearly; one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on the ledge of the open window, flying down the backroads without a care in the world. The curls of her honey blonde hair effortlessly dancing with the wind as she sung along to the song playing on the radio. How desperately he wished he was in the passenger seat alongside her.

I wonder

if we were still together

if we would be happy

like we were not that long ago

Nathan's mind derailed from the image of Haley and started to pedal back to the past; when they were happy. They met in high school, dated throughout college, and swore they'd end up together— their relationship was practically a cliche from some fairytale. They were the type of couple to sit on the same side of the booth because they always had to be conjoined somehow. They were the couple who planned their kids' names as they stared up at the stars, dreaming of their future together; a boy with his smirk, and a little girl with her wide eyes, and then maybe a few more thrown into the mix.

Their friends teased them, playfully rolling their eyes every time they shared a kiss. Nathan Scott and Haley James were a rare couple who never left the sappy teenage romance phase; of course, that was until Nathan reverted back to his selfish, childish ways.

In the end, he knew it was his fault. He was selfish. He let his childhood dream of playing professional basketball trump his love for her. After graduating from Duke, Haley had wanted to stay in Tree Hill—their small hometown in North Carolina— and start their life together. But he didn't. Young and clouded by the idea of fame and fortune, Nathan accepted the generous offer to play for the Dallas Mavericks, with very little concern for his girlfriend's interests.

She, of course, insisted on going with him, regardless of how betrayed she felt. But Haley was his biggest fan and promised to follow him and his dreams anywhere on the planet.

Thinking back, Nathan wanted to kick himself for his selfish behavior. He took advantage of her faith in him, and he'd never forgive himself for it now. He drove her away, he knew he did. She was miserable in Dallas, and he knew he should've cared more. Instead of proposing and properly settling down together, like they had dreamed of for so long, Nathan spent nearly every night partying, while Haley paced the floors of their over-sized Texas home. He'd stumble in late at night, reeking of hard liquor, far too inebriated to realize the tear-stains on Haley's red cheeks.

On one particular night— almost five years to the day— Haley had had enough. He stumbled into their bedroom to find her packing a suitcase. A part of him knew it was coming— he knew she wasn't happy. The distance between them was becoming ocean wide, so she gave him an ultimatum; get his act together or she'd leave. They fought — and after a four-hour screaming match, and one punched wall- on Nathan's behalf— until their eight-year relationship ended just like that. Neither had spoken nor seen each other since.

It was true, Nathan finally realized, that you don't know what you have until it's gone.

He couldn't help but wonder what their life would be like if they had stayed in North Carolina. He could've played for Charlotte if he had just been a little more patient and waited for a different offer. She'd be teaching at Tree Hill High School, sure to be every student's favorite teacher— and, much to his dismay, he knew she'd be deemed as the 'hot teacher', because, well, she was easily the most beautiful woman in all of North Carolina, if not the entire globe.

He would've proposed on a trip to Paris or London; a place he'd always promise to take her, and then get married on a beach back in Tree Hill with their closest friends and family members.

They'd live in a large but simple beach house, filled with a bunch of empty rooms for the five or six kids they'd be sure to have— after convincing Haley they should have more than two or three, that is.

Nathan's heart ached at the thoughts taunting him. He hated himself in that moment, and every day, for letting her go— for giving up his dream. Basketball no longer had a meaning in his life. In fact, it stopped meaning anything to him the day Haley James walked out of his life. His whole life lost meaning. He wanted nothing more than to chase after her, beg and plead her to come back. But he couldn't. She had already given up too much for him, and he didn't want her to resent him more than she probably already had. He just wanted her to be happy, and if that meant he'd be miserable forever, he'd accept it.

Still, he simply couldn't stop wondering.

Would we be holdin' each other

So close under the covers

If I hadn't screwed it all up

The song continued to play, and Nathan's mind began illustrating pictures to the meaning of the words. He imagined waking up next to her, sharing a lazy smile as she cuddled close to his chest, the way she always used to. They'd kiss softly while letting their hands wander beneath the covers, and giggle quietly when their fingers brushed together, then be interrupted by the sounds of little feet running across the hall.

Nathan sighed. He knew he'd never get the chance for the life he desperately craved.

Would it matter if I ever called you

Would sparks fly if I ever saw you

The truth is, I may never know

But I wonder

His gaze shifted towards his cellphone thrown haphazardly on the passenger seat. So many times he wanted to just dial her number and call her. Would she answer? What would he say? He longed to hear her voice, but could never actually muster enough courage to do so. And forget going back to Tree Hill. He couldn't face her again. He broke her, and the shame would forever linger. Still, he wondered what would happen if they ever did run into each other. Would the flames of their burning chemistry still burn? He might never know.

I wonder if you have a husband

Did you give him some children

Are you livin' the American dream

I wonder if there is a shoebox

Of pictures you've been hidin'

No one will ever see

Nathan wondered now, but hoped otherwise, if she found someone else. She could've been married for all he knew. It had been five years, after all. He wondered if she was happier. The thought saddened him, but silently provided a solstice in his heart. All he ever wanted was for Haley to be happy, and he hated himself for giving up that role. Because long ago, he was once her happiness. Then he broke it.

He wondered if she ever got to Paris; if she found someone much more deserving of her love, someone who treated her right and put her first, the way it should've been. He wondered if she had a beautiful daughter who looked just like her. If Nathan's heart wasn't already in crumbles, it would've bled to death again.

Reaching over, he smashed his fist on the dashboard. Anger penetrated his body, boiling his blood until he nearly combusted into flames. The car swerved slightly, jerking his body forward. Inhaling a deep, calming breath, Nathan released the pressure on the gas and sighed.

He thought of the box under his bed, filled with the traces she'd left behind; the multi-colored plastic bracelet he has given her when they first started dating back in high school, the half-empty strawberry shampoo from their shower, and nearly every photograph of them. And okay, he'd never admit it, but at the very bottom of the box, there was a pair of her black lacy underwear he found one day while doing laundry. Yes, it was probably creepy, but he couldn't get rid of it because then he'd be getting rid of her. Every now and then, late at night, he'd thumb through the pictures and wonder if she too, had a box of them beneath her bed.

His eyes squeezed shut, as if the darkness would stop the incessant wondering, but the attempt was futile. He'd never stop wondering about the life they could've had.

I'm probably crazy for thinkin' these thoughts

About how it all could have been

It ain't every day that I dig up the past

But every now and then

I wonder would we be holdin' each other

So close under the covers

The truth is, I may never know

But I wonder

I wonder

I wonder

Oh, I wonder

Oh, oh

I wonder

I wonder

Feeling a sudden weight plop onto his chest, Nathan groaned loudly, then opened his eyes to investigate the source, blinking rapidly to adjust to the familiar surroundings. He was shocked to find that he was no longer in his car, but in his queen-sized bed, with a wide brown-eyed toddler splayed across his bare chest.

"Wake up, Daddy!" The curly blonde haired girl beamed, hopping energetically on the bed.

Nathan sat up quickly as relief flooded through his veins. He was home. In Tree Hill—where he belonged. Lydia, his three-year-old daughter was still babbling on about something, but he was at a loss for words. All he could do was reach over and pull her into a tight embrace, pressing kisses all over her forehead.

His eight-year-old son, Jamie, who was sitting on the opposite side of the bed crawled over and smirked. "Mornin' Dad. You were in a really deep sleep!"

He let out a heavy breath, nearly choking, and shook his head, trying to rejoin reality. "I was, wasn't I?"

"You okay, babe? You look like you'd seen a ghost," he heard a familiar voice from the doorway, and became breathless again, marveling at the beauty standing before him.

Haley Scott stood barefoot, wrapped in a silk robe, clutching their newest baby — Nicholas Royal Scott— to her chest as she watched their children rouse her sleeping husband awake.

She studied his worried face, and frowned. He hadn't said anything since waking up, when usually he'd be laughing at Lydia's wild morning antics.

He blinked hard again, trying to take in the moment. He never wanted to know what life without his family would be like again. It scared him half to death.

"I had the strangest dream, Hales. I dreamt we broke up after college and I screwed everything up and you left me and— and, I didn't have any of this. Our family."

Haley watched the pure fear mar his features as he spoke. To quell his worries, she walked over to him and handed Nicholas over to his open arms. Lydia crawled closer to Jamie on the other side of the bed, freeing up space for her mother, but was still able to cuddle up to Nathan.

"That sounds like a nightmare," Haley said softly as she rested her head on his chest, feeling the rapid rate of his heart. She then leaned up softly and pressed a long kiss on his lips.

"Ewww," Jamie and Lydia drawled, causing their parents to chuckle softly.

"You have no idea," Nathan sighed, dropping a kiss on each of his children's foreheads, all while wrapping his arms around his wife to pull her closer to him.

Nicholas squirmed in his arms, cooing contently, as both Lydia and Jamie competed playfully for their father's attention. Haley watched with a smile and brought her thumb to Nathan's cheek, wiping away his worry lines. "It's okay, Nathan, we're all here and this is all real."

"I just don't ever want to wonder what life would be like without you. Without the kids…"

"And you're never going to find out," she promised, cutting him off with another brief kiss. "We're not going anywhere."

Settling back against the bed, he finally smiled contently. "Good. Neither am I."

"Always and forever, right?" Haley beamed.

"Right," Nathan smirked.

"What?" She blushed from the intensity of his stare.

He leaned over to whisper so the kids couldn't hear, "in the dream, I kept a pair of your underwear in a box. You know, the ones you had on last night before I ripped-"

"Nathan!" She scolded with red cheeks, cutting him off before the kids actually did hear him. Leave it to Nathan Scott to have a racy nightmare.

He laughed loudly and dropped a kiss on her strawberry scented hair, "oh baby, you're fun to tease."

"Daddy, it's not nice to tease!" Lydia reprimanded in a stern voice. He was still always blown away by how much she actually resembled Haley.

"Yeah, Daddy," Haley pouted playfully, "I don't like to be teased."

Nathan's smirk widened at the lust oozing from Haley's voice. He'd only just woken up but he couldn't wait for the kids to go back to bed so he could be alone with his wife. The only thing he'd have to wonder about for the rest of the day is what would happen after dark.

He'd never again wonder what life would be like without his family.