Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek Voyager or any of its characters
Chapter 9
Kathryn continued to sit and stare at the door Chakotay had waked out fifteen minutes ago. The last few days had taken their toll on her, she had slipped up more than once and let too much show. She knew she loved Chakotay and she knew he returned the feelings but she was the Captain and love was a luxury she couldn't afford. She shook her head in an attempt to get Chakotay out of it. She needed to go to the bridge and when she got their she had to be the Captain, no traces of Kathryn or her desires.
"This is not my day" B'Elanna muttered to herself. Since she had got to engineering two hours ago she had been confronted with one problem after another and they were beginning to mount up. He biggest problem was life support had gone down on three decks and environmental controls were going crazy on five others. On top of all that there were varying problems with the relays, gel packs and just about every other system on the ship. It was going to take her weeks to get the ship running again. At least it appeared they were out of immediate danger and their Valeem escorts had been more than happy to provide them with most of the things they had needed for repairs.
"B'Elanna and the rest of the engineering team are doing an incredible job fixing the ship. They all deserve medals for how much work they've got done and I know at least half of them have been neglecting themselves to do it. Especially B'Elanna, I've seen Tom following her around the ship at least half a dozen times trying to get her to take a break" Chakotay said as he and Kathryn went over the engineering reports, it seemed to have become far more routine than ever.
"Has he been successful?" Kathryn asked with a smile.
"Half the time"
"Well remind me to order them all to take at least eight hours rest each, not at the same time though"
"Will do"
"So, life support and environmental controls have been restored on all decks and most of the other systems are back online, including replicators" Kathryn said indicating her coffee and they both smiled.
"You know I don't think we could have pulled this off without the Valeem. It's only been a week since the last attack and the ship is already up and running again. B'Elanna said it would have taken her weeks to get this far if they hadn't shown up, and that's providing we didn't get attacked again"
"How's the crew?"
"Morale is definitely better, Neelix is already planning an array of moral boosters including a party on holodeck one"
"Things are getting back to normal then"
"Looks like it" He said as he stared at her, she obviously understood where his thoughts were going and decided to head them off at the pass.
"Chakotay…"
"Don't Kathryn" He said cutting off whatever she was about to say and surprising her with the emotion and determination in his voice "I love you. You nearly died a week ago and if you had I would have regretted never telling you that for the rest of my life. I understand you're the Captain and you have responsibilities but you're also human. I know you love me too, I see it all over your face. Do you think people wouldn't respect you anymore if you were in a relationship because if you do you're wrong. The entire crew knows how we both feel, you can see it written all over their faces. They would be overjoyed if you finally dropped this damn Captains mask that you hide behind and let Kathryn show. They don't want a robot for a Captain they want a person, a friend"
Kathryn just stared at Chakotay for a moment. His powerful speech had shocked her, she had never realised just how deep his feelings went or how determined he was. Her mind was trying to process the whole speech and the words 'I love you' kept spinning around in her head. She shouldn't be this shocked she already knew he loved her but he had never said it aloud before. Maybe he was right, she too knew the crew knew about her feelings for Chakotay, she could see it too. Maybe the crew would be happy for them and of course they would still respect her. As she worked her way through his speech, analysing every word she felt her Captains mask fall away a little bit at a time.
Chakotay stood up and turned to leave and she realised she had been quite to long. She quickly stood up and walked around to him.
"Chakotay wait" she said as she grabbed his arm and he turned around to face her. She realised her decision had already been made "I do love you and I'm sorry I kept you at arms length and…"
Her apology was cut short as Chakotay kissed her passionately, she felt herself being drawn deeper and deeper into the kiss. His arms went around her waist and hers around his neck and they pulled each other as close as they could. They finally broke apart for air but did not move away from each other. Kathryn smiled at him, things were definitely going to change now. There was no Captains mask to hide behind and her feelings were now out in the open. She knew Chakotay wouldn't let things go back to the way they were and she didn't want them to, after that there was no way she could go more than a couple of hours without kissing him again. Chakotay held her tightly and she had never felt more safe or happy.
END
