I wrote this on my phone today ((so if it sucks, that's why)) after listening to Thomas Rhett's new album 'Life Changes'. This one's inspired by 'Marry Me.' I was instantly inspired to write an anguished and pouty Nathan. Take a listen if you can; it's a great song. Plus, it'll make more sense if you understand it.
I'll be back with 'Halo' hopefully by the end of next week :)
Enjoy!
. . . .
Today was the day— for Haley James, it was the start of forever, but for Nathan Scott, it was the end of an era; an era that only, previously, existed in his dreams. He knew now, though, that it was a life that could only ever exist in his dreams, but even then, he'd eventually have to stop the fictional facade from flickering through his mind; reality would always win.
A heavy sigh expelled from between Nathan's lips. Clad in a black suit and tie, he stood in the back of the church, watching through his low-lidded eyes as guests slowly found their seats. This was his reality now; Haley was getting married, but not to him.
Yes, he decided, the dream where he was the guy getting to marry her was far better than any truth. But that's the worst part of it all; dreams are just dreams, and the truth is the truth— when you open your eyes, reality it staring, unblinkingly, right back.
The flask of whiskey Nathan had brought started burning a deep hole in his pocket. He wondered briefly if it was considered a sin to drink in church before unscrewing the cap and taking a swig. The liquid burned. It tasted of a sweet sin. He took another sip, deciding one flask would not be enough to survive the night.
"Nathan!"
Crap, he muttered in a hushed breath— he was going to Hell anyway. While he had been drinking his troubles away, he must've missed his and Haley's friends walking into the church.
"Chase, Mia." He nodded curtly at the couple.
"Come sit with us, man." Chase requested with a knowing grin.
There was no way in Hell that was happening; he was standing in the back of the church for a reason— Nathan would do anything to make it through without crying, but just in case a tear escaped, he didn't want a single soul to see.
"Uh, yeah, maybe in a little bit," he mumbled as he hid the flash behind his back.
Mia frowned, "are you alright?"
No, Nathan thought. The love of my life is about to marry a guy who isn't me. I'm not alright. "Yeah, fine. Just don't want to sit down yet."
Chase eyed him warily, "okay, but when you do, come find us."
He didn't say anything. He didn't want to talk. He didn't even want to be there.
All he could think about was the night he almost kissed Haley. It was right before graduating college— where they had met— and Nathan knew it'd be his last chance to tell her how he'd felt about her for the past four years.
He listened to her ramble about her dream wedding while walking her home from the bar they frequented, but when she looked up at him with those large, soulful, brown eyes, he freaked out; became a full on, barely functioning, babbling mess. What if it ruined their friendship? The thought of losing her quickly became one of his biggest fears. So he blew it. He hugged her goodnight and spent the rest of his walk back berating himself for ever wondering if she'd felt the same way.
They lost touch after college. Life happened. She moved to California, he stayed in North Carolina to start up a sports agency with an old buddy from high school. He dated a few girls here and there but none of them ever came close to Haley James.
California didn't work out for her, so she'd moved back to her sleepy little home town not too far from where Nathan worked and their friendship rekindled. Just as he had mustered enough courage to even consider thinking about kissing her again, was the same day he received the wedding invitation in the mail.
Apparently the guy she met in California had moved to North Carolina and proposed. Nathan was devastated— still is.
In the corner of his eye, he saw Haley's father trade a dreadful smile with one of her brother's. Nathan heard it through the grape-vine that her family was less than thrilled with the guy she was marrying. He'd only met Michael a handful of times, but he wasn't too pleased with him either; not just because he was marrying Haley, but because he didn't treat her right. It was clear she wasn't his main priority. He'd rather spend time with the guys than be around Haley; something she confessed over coffee with Nathan not too long ago. He wanted so badly, right then and there, to tell her to call it all off— but he couldn't. He wouldn't. She was happy, and that was all that mattered. Yet, little did Mr. James know that he wasn't the only one giving Haley away today.
Even right now, standing in the back of the church, all he wanted to do was find her— tell her how much he wanted her, how much he wished he was standing at the end of the aisle waiting for her. But Nathan wasn't that guy, the guy to mess it all up. Haley obviously didn't feel the same, but that didn't stop him from walking out of the church and down the hall to where she was getting ready.
All he wanted to do was wish her the best and leave. Nathan simply couldn't stand there and watch the woman of his dreams start a future with some other guy. He thought he was strong enough to handle it but he wasn't.
His feet carried him out of the church and down the hall, hoping to find an exit— or a bar, whichever he saw first. Either way, he needed to get out of there fast; this was the last time he'd stand in the back of a church with a flask of Whiskey, on the verge of crying.
. . . .
"Put the Whiskey down, son."
Nathan turned towards his father and exhaled a sharp breath. "I'm so nervous. Why am I nervous?"
Dan Scott chuckled and placed his hand on the back of his son's shoulder. "It's normal. How are you feeling?"
"Like I'm about to cry. God, I feel like such a girl."
The older Scott laughed again, "Hey, at least you look good."
Nathan bent his head and glanced at his black suit and tie, then studied the front of the church, overcome with a sudden sense of deja-vu. It was almost funny how just over two years ago, he was in a similar position— dressed in a black suit, drinking whiskey, waiting for a wedding to start. Only this time, it was slightly different considering the wedding was his own.
Haley never married Michael. Turns out, she'd been in love with another man the whole time; Nathan Scott.
He smirked as he remembered the news. He'd left after she did, apparently. As he was on his way out of the church, he overheard one of the bridesmaids saying Haley couldn't go through with it. A few weeks later, she had drunkenly showed up at his doorstep and confessed everything. Nathan, of course, thought it was all a dream, but when he woke up with her in his bed the next day, it was the first time he realized real life was better than any dream he'd ever had.
Now, here they were again two years later, and Haley was about to marry him.
The Whiskey helped with his nerves, but his father was right. He didn't need it. He'd never been more excited than he was in this very moment. Haley James was minutes away from becoming Haley Scott.
The thought alone brought a fresh coat of tears to Nathan's eyes. He thought he was going to lose her to Michael. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought it'd actually come true.
The wedding march started and he stood a little straighter. Haley all but ran down the aisle, her father could barely keep up.
Nathan waited eagerly at the end of the alter, unable to remove his eyes from his blushing bride.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered when she took his hand.
"Thank you, handsome." She winked, trying to cover up her own tear-coated eyes.
"Take care of her, Nate. Welcome to the family," Jimmy James proudly slapped his soon-to-be-son-in-law's back and they traded thoughtful smiles.
Nathan could only nod in return, then walked Haley closer to the preacher— his hand never leaving hers. Now that he had her, he wasn't ever going to let go.
Haley felt her almost husband slide something in her hand and when she looked down, she let out a tiny gasp. Back when they had been in college, she'd often gush about her 'perfect' wedding— she said she'd always wanted Magnolias.
Sure enough, Nathan had just slipped her a pure white magnolia petal. "Almost as beautiful as you," he whispered.
"You know," she said softly, "that night, when I was telling you about my perfect wedding, I was secretly picturing you at the end of the aisle."
Nathan grinned widely, "I love you so much, Haley."
"I love you more. I've always loved you, and I always will."
"Come on," he popped a quick kiss on her lips, then turned back towards the preacher. "I can't wait any longer. Marry me."
