Secret Smile - Semisonic

This was written in all of two hours so I apologize for the shit quality but it was flowing out of me. Enjoy :)

. . .

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

And you use it only for me

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

And you use it only for me

So use it and prove it

Remove this whirling sadness

I'm losing I'm bluesing

But you can't save me from madness

"Dude, she's so into you."

A scoff filled with disbelief sounded from Nathan Scott's lips, "you're crazy."

"Are you kidding?" Chase deadpanned, "she's been laughing at your stupid jokes all night."

Nathan's eyes narrowed into a mock glare, "my jokes are not stupid, and you know Haley and I are just friends," he grumbled lowly. Haley had just disappeared to use the bathroom and the last thing he needed was for her to hear this.

"Trust me, Nate, girls only giggle like that when they want in your pants. Plus, she puts her hands on you every chance she gets."

He sighed and shifted against the barstool, silently hoping Chase would get back to work instead of pretending to polish wine glasses and talking to him. It's been like this for months now; the guys constantly ripping on his friendship with Haley James. He should be used to it by now but it's as if a defensive coat of armor falls around his skin and he wants the ground to open up beneath him.

"What's the big deal anyway? Haley's hot. Why is it an issue if she wants you?"

"She just doesn't, okay?" Nathan snapped, "drop it."

Chase's eyes widened as he held his palms up in defense. Nathan clearly couldn't take a joke tonight. Instead, he cleared his throat and grabbed the nearest bottle of tequila and slammed it on the bar top.

Nathan was clearly in need of something stronger than the current beer he was nursing and when Chase poured Don Quevo into a glass, he gratefully accepted it in one large swallow.

The truth was, Nathan already put himself out there once for Haley and she ran away. He promised himself he'd never do that again: it was the summer of their sophomore year at Duke. They'd been friends for a few years prior and his deep feelings were undeniable. He remembers how they were at the beach one night, just the two of them, and Nathan leaned over to try and kiss her. She stared at him with those wide brown eyes and turned her head quickly, laughing it off. The rejection severed him like a blade.

They never spoke of it. She ran off the and studied abroad in London the next semester and came back with a stupid British boyfriend. Nathan spent that year mending a broken heart. He never told anyone, not even his brother Lucas, about what happened. He stayed in from parties, claiming he needed to focus on keeping his grades up now that his tutor- who just so happened to be his beautiful best friend- was gone. Of course, his friends pestered him about it but eventually they let it go. Nobody knew the extent of Nathan's pain.

Even now, almost five years later, Nathan's rejection and heartache still lingers. Haley James would forever be the girl he wished he could have. But if settling for her friendship was the second best, then so be it.

Nathan just hated to be reminded about it, especially when Chase and the guys would tell him how Haley harbored feelings for him. Even though she was single now, Nathan knew she'd never feel the way he did. She made that very clear on the night he tried to kiss her.

"Uh-oh," came her soft voice from behind him, "you're drinking tequila? What did I miss?"

When Nathan felt Haley's soft hand on his back, he avoided Chase's eyes- he could feel him staring and he wore a stupid, arrogant smirk as if he had just predicted the winning lottery numbers.

"Nothing, Nathan's just in a mood," Chase's smirk widened as he watched Haley settle beside their friend. Her hand had yet to fall from its spot on his back.

Haley smiled when she playfully bumped into Nathan's shoulder, "I bet I can cheer you up."

"I bet you could, too," Nathan heard Chase mumble. He shot him a death-glare and Chase receded towards the end of the bar, pretending to busy himself with other customers. He knew better than to rile Nathan any further. Plus, he wanted to give him alone time with Haley. He knows he's not the smartest guy, but he sure isn't stupid. Haley James wanted Nathan Scott. Chase Adams was willing to bet on it (one hundred dollars exactly. Mouth might have thought otherwise, but Chase knew one day soon, he'd be one hundred dollars richer).

"What's on your mind, Scott?"

"Nothing," Nathan craned his neck and smiled. She was licking her lips and he suddenly envied her tongue- how it could reach out and touch those lips whenever it wanted. He wondered what she tasted like. His eyes trailed towards her mouth, in a complete trance. What he failed to notice was that Haley was staring at the protruding veins in his biceps. Together they were secretly zoned out on one another.

"Give me all the tequila!" Brooke shouted, breaking them from their trances. Well, Haley turned to look, but Nathan was still in his blissed-out state, his stare unwavering from Haley.

"I thought you said you weren't drinking tonight, Brooke," Haley laughed.

"Yeah, well, I've changed my mind," her words came in a raspy mumble, "give it here, Nate."

Nathan was still oblivious to Brooke's presence. She rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers in front of his face, "Hello? Earth to boytoy?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Hi, Brooke." His eyes bounced to Haley's face. She was already looking at him. When their eyes collided, soft, secret smiles immediately slid across both of their lips. He blushed and his gaze fell to the dark floor of the bar; it's as if he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. A red tint infused his skin.

Brooke laughed. She too was in on the bet with Chase. She saw right through their 'friendship'. Nathan had been crushed out on Haley since the day they met. She actually found it adorable.

"The tequila," Brooke quipped, "hand it over."

Nathan, who had always secretly been scared of the wrath of Brooke Davis, handed her the bottle. He and Haley stared in shock as she drank straight from the bottle.

"Whoa. Rough night?" Haley asked.

"You could say that," Brooke swallowed and didn't even flinch. "Julian's being a dick."

"What happened?"

"He ditched me to be with his mom! I mean, his mom! How weird is that?"

Nathan and Haley looked up at each other again and shared a chuckle, "well, isn't she visiting from out of town for the weekend?"

"Yeah, but who cares. I'm his fiance!"

"Brooke, you're being dramatic," Nathan rolled his eyes and gestured for the bottle back. He poured some into the shot glass and held it out for Haley, who smiled in appreciation.

"No I'm not," she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, "he's always choosing her over me."

"You'll always be number one in my life, Brooke," Haley said after knocking back the shot. Nathan's eyes fixated on her, "I see how it is. I've been demoted?" He pouted playfully.

Brooke's lips twitched with confidence at his flirty tone. It's like she wasn't even in the room.

"Oh, Nathan, no one could ever possibly replace you," she winked and swatted at his shoulder.

Her tone suggested sarcasm but Brooke knew otherwise. Nathan Scott would always, and forever, be number one in Haley's life. There was no competition.

But watching their cute banter made Brooke remember how mad she was that her fiance had stood her up. She roughly grabbed the tequila bottle and took another hard swig. Nathan and Haley weren't even in a relationship and they already acted cuter than she and Julian.

Another swig.

Chase made his return and stood in front of her with a stern stare. "That's disgusting, Davis."

Brooke held up her middle finger and kept drinking.

"You know what's actually disgusting?" Haley chimed in, "Chase's Brain Blasters."

Nathan laughed loudly and Brooke nearly choked on the tequila.

"That was funny tutor-girl!"

Haley smiled in triumph and immediately turned closer to Nathan who was already staring at her. She, once again, leaned into him and beamed, "see, everyone thinks I'm funny!"

"I never denied it, Haley," he chuckled, "you are funny. Everyone else is dull compared to you."

"Get a fucking room already," Brooke pretended to gag. Both Nathan and Haley decided to ignore her.

"Okay, I'm cutting you off," Chase announced and grabbed the now near empty bottle away from her hands. She pouted.

"I'm not even drunk yet!"

"I'd beg to differ," Chase shook his head with a smile and turned back towards Nathan and Haley who were still giggling about something. Once again, Haley's hand reached out to touch Nathan's arm as she laughed at one of his lame jokes. They really did seem to be in their own little universe. Neither Brooke nor Chase had any idea of what they were talking about. Even as Chase tried to interject his own thoughts, it was futile. They hadn't even heard him.

"Wanna raise the bet?" Brooke whispered.

"Oh, definitely," Chase grinned in conspiracy. Between Haley's girlish giggles and Nathan not taking his eyes off of her all night, Brooke and Chase both knew something would happen sooner rather than later.

Brooke was practically getting blue balls from their sexual tension. She couldn't take it any longer. "Haley, I have to go to the bathroom," she said and grabbed a hold of her shirt.

"Okay, so go, Brooke. No one's stopping you." Nathan laughed as if Haley had just said the funniest joke in the world.

"I need you to come with me," she said impatiently.

"I was just in there," Haley protested.

"I don't care. We'll be right back," she tossed the boys a quick smile and grabbed Haley by the arm, not caring that she nearly tripped. Brooke's grin widened when Nathan's eyes landed on Haley's ass. That boy was a goner. He didn't even try to hide his blatant stares anymore.

Brooke tugged her along through the heavy throng of Tric until they made it into the quiet corner of the girl's bathroom. Haley waited for Brooke to go into the stall, but her friend made no move.

"There's no one in here," she said. "Don't you have to pee?"

"No. That was a cover up. Now it's time to spill," Brooke crossed her arms over her chest and waited expectedly.

"Spill what?"

Brooke threw her hands flusteredly in the air. "How you and Nathan are in your own world all of the time! It's like no one else exists but you two."

Haley furrowed her brows, "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Oh, cut the crap, tutor girl. All the giggling, and the touching? Not to mention those secret smiles you two always have! What is with that?"

"I don't know, Brooke. We're best friends," she shrugged, "I feel a comfort with him that I've never felt with anyone else. We just connect on a different level."

"Exactly! So why aren't you together already?"
A heavy sigh fell from her lips and she ran a hand through her curls, "I don't know. I don't think he wants me that way."

Brooke snorted, "are you stupid? You must be stupid!"

Haley frowned, "um…"

"Sorry," she waved her hand flippantly, "I just mean, how is it possible to think he's not into you? That boy hasn't taken his eyes off of you the whole night!"

"We're best friends,-" she repeated and was about to continue until Brooke cut her off.

"-So are we but I don't look at you like that. You don't feel up my arm every time I say something!"

"I know, Brooke, and I'll admit it. I do have feelings for him, okay? But I've been sending out signals for months and he hasn't tried anything."

"Then he's stupid, too. You're both stupid."

Haley raised her eyebrows again, "rude much?"

"I'm sorry, you're just driving me crazy. You flirt like teenagers and look at each other like you've been married for fifty years. He looks at you like you're a fucking masterpiece and you giggle after every word he says. You're wasting your time not being together."

Haley bit her lip, "I know."

"Then why don't you just do something already? Obviously he's not getting the hints."

"I think I blew my chance years ago," she mumbled. This would be the first time she ever told anyone about the time Nathan tried to kiss her. She'd been too scared, too nervous at the time to do anything other than run. She was worried it'd mess up their friendship and now it was the biggest mistake of her life.

"Why?"

"He tried to kiss me once in college."

"Oh my God," Brooke shrieked. A group of women had just walked into the bathroom and stopped to stare at them. They walked right out seconds later, assuming Brooke was a raging drunk girl they didn't want to deal with. "What happened? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I got scared and turned my head. He looked so upset, Brooke. I felt so bad but we were friends and I didn't want to ruin what we had. Nobody has ever understood me the way he has. I'd be devastated if I ever lost him."

"Yeah, but just imagine what it could be like! If you act like this as friends, just imagine what the sex would be like!"

Haley laughed. Brooke really had a one track mind sometimes. "Believe me, I've imagined it," she revealed shyly.

Brooke laughed and high fived her friend, "I bet. I saw the way you licked your lips while looking at his arms."

"What can I say?" She laughed, "He has nice arms."

"Go get him!"

"I've been trying," Haley whined.

"Try harder," Brooke demanded, "you obviously need to spell it out for him."

"What if he doesn't feel that way?"

"Trust me, honey. He does. Now go."

Haley smiled before quickly hugging Brooke and practically running out of the bathroom. Nathan was still perched on the barstool, looking all mopey and adorable. As soon as she approached him, her hand took hold of his and she pulled him off the seat. "Let's dance."

"Hales," he protested with a remaining smile, "you know I don't know how."

"I'll teach you."

Never having the power to say no to her, he stood up and followed her out onto the dance floor. His hand didn't leave hers.

"This is a fast song," he pointed out, noticing how everyone around them seemed to be grinding. "Why are we slow dancing?"

"Do you want me to teach you or not?"

He chuckled and leaned closer to her body, "yes. I don't want to look like an idiot."

"You never do," she whispered. Their eyes collided again and those secret smiles returned. Nathan's gaze bore into hers and she bit down on her lower lip as they swayed softly.

"Thank you," he whispered back.

Her smile broadened as she moved her hands to wind around his neck. "Nathan?"

"Yeah?"

"How many more signs do I need to send?"

His eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What?"

"I've been flirting with you for months," she revealed coyly. "Why else do you think I'm always touching you and giggling?"

"I thought you thought I was funny!"

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, "well, you are, but not that funny."

"I'm hurt," his smile lied. She giggled again. "So Chase was right, then."

"About what?"

"About you wanting me."

She nodded and moved her thumb to rub at the freckle beneath his eye, "yeah. I do."

"You have feelings for me?" He wanted to hit himself for the way his voice rose in about twelve octaves.

"Yes," she laughed, "why is that so hard to believe?"

"I just…" he shook his head, "I didn't think you ever would."

"I know," her smile faltered, "I'm so sorry for not kissing you back that night. I was young and scared and didn't want to lose you."

"You never will," he said seriously. His grip on her waist tightened and she closed her eyes when she rested her head against his chest. He dropped a kiss on her forehead like so many times before.

"Good."

"So," he swayed, "if I try to kiss you again, will you promise not to run away?"

Her giggles sounded into his chest and she looked up at him. "I promise, Nathan Scott."

"Good," he grinned and slowly started to lean down. She stood on the tips of her toes and met him halfway. Their lips crashed together and they were the only two people in color as the rest of the world faded to black. They were so wrapped into each other that they didn't hear Brooke's loud cheers over the music, nor did they see Mouth reluctantly pull out a crisp one hundred dollar bill and reluctantly hand it to Chase.

It was just Nathan and Haley, finally kissing.

She felt him smile against her lips. They pulled away and their secret smiles mirrored each other.

"For the record," he began, "I have feelings for you, too."

"I know," she smirked, "I've been waiting for you to try and kiss me again for years now."

"I was afraid you'd reject me again," he mumbled with an embarrassed frown.

"I guess I better step up my flirting game, then, huh?"

Crinkles folded around the corners of his eyes as he chuckled and shook his head. They met for another gentle kiss and couldn't erase their smiles.

"No, you don't ever have to change. I love when you touch me and I love the sound of your giggles."

She smiled; the type of smile only reserved for him and he melted into her embrace. Now that he kissed her once, he knew he'd never be able to stop. Her lips tasted like cherries and he nibbled at them gently. A soft moan escaped as their tongues touched for the first time.

When they pulled away again, their smoldering gazes could light a fire. Haley nestled further into Nathan's strong arms and grinned when he continued to sway them in circles.

They were in their own secret world, wearing secret smiles- and that's how it would be for the rest of their lives together.

Always and forever.

So save me I'm waiting

I'm needing, hear me pleading

And soothe me, improve me

I'm grieving, I'm barely believing it now, now

When you are flying around and around the world

And I'm lying a lonely

I know there's something sacred and free reserved

And received by me only