-1MARBLE-RELLIC! Hi! I was just watching the Olympics (a sign as to how long I've waited to upload this piece of crap), and Jacobellis went waaaay down. That hurt my American-ness much. At least we got the half-pipe though. By the way, what the hell is a marble-rellic? (suggested listening: First track to the Incredibles soundtrack)
September. Bob sat in his office, looking over papers. Well, more along the lines of pretending to look over papers while actually watching the clock for his lunch break. While working for Gecko Insurances was far better than Insuricare, it wasn't exactly as exciting as, say, being chased around a jungle island by a big metal ball with legs.
Five minutes… Close enough. He pulled open a drawer in his desk and took out a sack lunch and radio, which he turned on. (A/N no, he took it out because he liked how it looked at noon)
Meanwhile, Helen was vacuuming the house with the TV on, a daytime drama in development. (A/N say that last part ten times real fast) Both Violet and Dash were at school, Violet a senior and Dash a freshman (prepare for war, Helen), and Jack-Jack was in preschool this year. The silence from the latter absence during the day is what drove Helen to watch daytime TV while vacuuming, woe to her.
Just as she walked into the front hall to continue her cleaning, a gunshot went off inside the TV, and in an instant her neck had stretched her head back into the room.
"Ooo, who died! Who? Who? Oh, let it be Veronica!"
Unfortunately, it was not Veronica. Instead of a beautiful shot of young, handsome Erik D'Amore on the screen, the episode was suddenly filled with ol' Hamburg, the local station's head anchor, who was in dire need of a shave. The switch was so horrible, Helen (and her elongated neck) actually fell over from the shock.
She clambered back up to her feet as the interrupting news bulletin took over the tube.
On that note, Bob's favorite radio show was also being interjected by a similar interruption. "… armed robbery of the Magnus Bank at Wayland and Ballas…"
Ring ring! Bob picked up the phone. "Hi, Honey."
"It's a bank robbery," Helen said, trying to jam on her suit as she talked on the phone, watched the news bulletin, and attempted to turn of the vac before the blasted thing exploded. "You pick up Jack-Jack and I'll get the other two and we'll meet you there?"
"What am I supposed to tell his teacher this time? That his aunt's house is on fire! He doesn't even have an aunt!"
"Use your imagination!"
"If I had an imagination, I would not be working for an insurance company, Helen."
"Fine! I'll get the kids, just please be outside your building in ten minutes!"
"Hey, it's harder to sneak outta here than you think."
"Wonderful. Call the kids and tell 'em I'm on my way. Lovyahoneybye!"
Bob hung up. He looked at the door, outside of which sat his secretary. "This is the real show time."
Violet and Dash, the pair at opposite ends of the school, both heard a quick set of beeping coming from underneath their shirts at the same time. Instead of bothering with calls, the family had decided to just use Edna's ingenious beep-causing tracking system on their suits to let family members know when they were needed. However, this was not always the most convenient method to get a message to folks.
Please, not now, Vi thought, her eyes shut to the various other students in the classroom staring at their beeping peers. As if on cue, she also saw a series of cop cars whizzing by through the windows beside her.
"Ms. Parr," her demonic calculus teacher said to Violet, "perhaps you could turn your cell phone off before our tests, hmm?"
"Heh heh." But before Vi could reach down and pretend to rummage through her purse, the beeping ceased. That, needless to say, caused a few raised eyebrows from those peers who'd been watching her progress.
Well crap.
"Dash, your beeping, dude," a fifteen year old boy said to his freshman compadre as they ate their lunches. His name was Mickey, and, with the exception of the Dash, he was the fastest kid in the school district in nearly twenty years.
"I noticed," Dash said, as he fidgeted around, trying to get his suit to shut up.
"Um, any reason why that keeps happening?" Alice, another track-maestro, asked.
"I swallow my watch for kicks."
"Are you serious?" asked another boy, Jim.
"No! …" An idea struck. "But I do think I swallowed something, because suddenly I'm feeling like I'm going to be sick! Tell the teacher I'm in the bathroom, later!"
With that, Dash ran out of the cafeteria, and headed in the direction of a bathroom before detouring towards Vi's calculus class.
Violet was looking at her test desperately. Must finish test! she thought. I can't leave during this test! It wasn't in the cards for her to make that choice, though. Just then, the blonde wonder better known as Dash burst into the room.
"May I help you? We're taking a test."
"Okay, first off, they are taking a test; you are not, sir. Get it right. Second off, I need Violet! House on fire! Aunt down! Bad stuff, c'mon!"
Violet let her head fall down and hit her desk while her close friend, Sarah, leaned over and whispered, "For being so stiff on grammar, he's not that great at completing a sentence."
"Young man, get out of my classroom!"
Dash ran over the Violet's desk, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her to the door. "Gladly!"
"But-"
"Later!" And they're off!
"I'm gonna fail my test because of you!" Vi shouted at her lanky brother as they ran down the halls towards the gym entrance.
"No, you're gonna fail your test because some mugger has bad timing. To the rescue!"
Violet laughed. "Coach, ten o'clock!"
Dash ducked behind a trashcan, and Violet ran for a bathroom door, only to find it locked, so instead just turned invisible and stood next to a vending machine, hoping her floating clothes would go unnoticed next to the flashy colors of the soda advertisements. The coach passed by, and the pair ran for it.
As they got outside, the Incredicar pulled up and they dove straight in.
"Hi kids! How're you doing?" Helen asked as she stepped on the gas and Dash and Violet peeled off their everyday clothes to show the suits underneath.
"Great! This better be quick, my calculus teacher is gonna kill me, and I left my purse!"
"What's the skinny, Cap'n?" Dash asked excitedly, leaning up towards the front seat.
"Bank robbery. Dash, can you run go get your brother and meet up with us at your father's building?"
"Not a problem!" Dash pressed a button on the ceiling of the car, and a giant "moon roof" opened up. He climbed out, hit the button again, and stood on the roof a minute before running off the back of it.
"WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!"
"Showoff," Violet said, climbing into the front seat by her mother. "Veronica die yet?"
"She did not, and I do not understand why you like that other- wha- what- you- Veronica who?"
Violet smiled. For a second, anyways. "MOM, THE CAR!"
"Whoops!" Helen said, pulling the swerving vehicle out of the other lane so as to avoid running down a motorcycle headed in the same direction.
Okay, Bob, Mr. Incredible thought, completely decked out in his supersuit, having just changed in the privacy of the bathroom. Just don't get caught.
He cautiously walked out of his stall and headed for the door. When he was almost there, someone walked in, and he dove behind the swinging door and edged around it once the someone walked into a stall. He then made for the nearby stairs and started the long trek down.
"Now what color is this, kids?" the preschool teacher asked a class of four year olds, including our very own Jack-Jack.
"Purple!" the majority of the class shouted.
"Violet!" Jack-Jack yelled.
"Very good! Now what's this color?"
"Red!"
"Incredible!"
"Well, Jack-Jack, that's a positive way to look at it, but I'm asking which of the colors it is."
"Okeydokey!"
The teacher smiled, one of those smiles where the eyes close because of how the cheeks come up, and while her eyes were shut, a gust of wind blew in.
"Whoa!"
She opened her eyes and looked around, noticing the slightly ajar door.
"Jack-Jack?"
"Rapid Fire!" Jack-Jack yelled into the wind.
"That's right, Kiddo! Now tell me, where's the fire?"
"I'm the fire!" Jack-Jack cried, quickly flaming himself up, thus incinerating his day clothes and leaving only his small supersuit on him. As the fire-boy clung to Rapid Fire, the teenager handed his brother his mask.
"Where's the fire?"
"I'm de fire! I make bad guys go boom!"
"You sound like a commercial."
Rapid Fire and Flare quickly found themselves outside the huge building where Bob worked. The speedster screeched to a halt, ignoring the odd looks he and his brother got from passersby. "Now we wait."
"For Daddy?"
"No, Daddy's usually pretty quick, we're waiting for Mom, and hoping Shadow keeps her from running someone over." Sure enough, Mr. Incredible came walking towards his sons from behind the building, a banana peel sticking to his face.
"Dad, face."
"Oh, thanks."
"What'd you do, jump down the trash chute?"
"As a matter of fact-"
Whrrrrrrr! The car was there, and as per usual, Violet looked horrified in the shotgun seat at her mother's driving. "Everybody in!" Elastigirl shouted out the open window.
And off they went.
The family arrived at the bank soon enough; there was already a barrier set up to keep a crowd (and the press) back, and the cops in place looked very tense.
"Incredibles!" one of the cops exclaimed when the car pulled up and the group piled out.
"How's it look?" Mr. Incredible asked the cop who he figured was in charge, his family following behind him.
"It isn't good. We just called up a SWAT team. Sounds like they've got a small explosive set up inside; not enough to destroy the building, but certainly enough to kill a few of their twenty hostages."
Rapid Fire let out a loud whistle at the "twenty."
"Exactly. Not only are they grabbing dough from the place, but it seems they're also planning to take a few civilians with them once their ride out of here arrives. And I don't think they'll be very happy if they find out the supers are here. Any ideas?"
"I've got one," Shadow said. A few minutes later, things were being set up.
Two of the crooks were in the front with the hostages, which were all face down on the ground by order. Many had squirmed their way as close to various pieces of furniture as possible, desperate for anything to put between themselves and the guns. The black-clothed crooks were mumbling impatiently to each other, anxious for the fellow who was supposed to bring their ride to get there. One of them started pacing. When he passed by a window a third time, he was suddenly punched in the jaw by a very long, gloved hand, which had come through the window and went back out of it before the second crook could turn around.
"What the heck'r'you doin'!" the other crook asked the one which had fallen to the ground. As he walked over to his companion, glaring at the nearby hostages, Rapid Fire tip-toed through the door, shut it behind him, then dashed behind a set of chairs where a number of hostages were hidden.
"Shh!"
The crook whirled around at the sound of Rapid Fire's quick feet. He held up his gun, causing the civilians to tremble all the worse.
"Who the heck is pulling this crap!"
Dash chuckled. He jumped over the chair he was behind and yelled, "Boo!"
Before the low-life could even pull the trigger once, Dash was running at him and around him in circles. The man tried to follow him around, shooting bullets randomly as he spun around, until he suddenly found himself facing a huge chest. He looked up into the face of the much bigger Mr. Incredible.
He whimpered, and for good reason.
The cops, SWAT team, and crowd were watching anxiously from afar when a beat up crook went flying out a window, into the stretched out arms of Mrs. Incredible, and was flung into a cop van, followed by the unconscious one with a dislocated jaw. The doors were promptly closed, and Elastigirl, with Rapid Fire and Flare, set about taking care of the hostages while Mr. Incredible set about looking for the right room…
Outside of the only vault in the bank, some banging could be heard from an overhead opening to an air duct, when Shadow came falling clumsily out with an "umph!" Standing up again, she pressed her hand and an ear against the vault door. Yep, the last three were in there, and the vault door wasn't closed all the way. Finally, something easy. She pulled away again and turned herself invisible.
"Hurry up!" one of the robbers, facing away from the door, was saying to another as Shadow softly pushed the vault door so it would swing open gently.
"I'm going! I'm going!"
Thud. The pair of crooks jumped up and aimed their guns at the corner of the room when they heard the door gently hit the wall. Adrenaline pumped into their systems as they looked around madly, knowing there was no way a gust of wind opened that door.
Shadow walked extremely quietly, a talent she'd perfected during the last few years to avoid having someone shoot at her face because they could hear her clunking feet. The men before her aimed wild eyed at the door as she walked around behind them. She stepped right behind them, almost close enough for them to feel her breath on their necks. She looked over their shoulders a moment, then looked at one of the walls of locked drawers where a small bomb was situated and put a forcefield around it. The teen went visible again.
Shadow stepped back a few steps. "Hello, boys." The men spun around, but a forcefield was around them before they could react. They looked, quite simply, dumbfounded. "C'mon, you didn't really think I was going to let you get away with this mess, did you?"
Just as Mr. Incredible walked in, one of the muggers pressed a button. Everyone in the room looked up as the tiny bubble around the bomb was suddenly sent into such a flurry it looked like an odd snow globe.
"Gee, that was productive."
The Incredibles loaded the last two muggers into the cop van shortly thereafter.
"Good jobs, Incredibles," the van driver said.
"Not a problem!" Rapid Fire saluted.
"Uh oh," the top cop said nearby. He answered his ringing phone. "You guys might want to listen to this."
"What is it, officer?" Elastigirl asked.
"Some creep's got his sister and girlfriend at gunpoint in his apartment, demanding money from his parents. Think you guys could handle it?"
"Absolutely," Mr. Incredible said, checking his watch and hoping it wouldn't take up too much more of his lunch break.
"Great! Let's see, sounds like Fifth and Washington, and- what the-? … Uh oh, 'nother one."
"That's okay. Rapid Fire," Incredible said, "you go take care of the hostage situation, we'll take whatever this is."
"On it!" Rapid Fire exclaimed before running off.
"What!" Shadow exclaimed.
As Mr. Incredible asked for the location of whatever emergency was taking place now, Elastigirl took Shadow aside and whispered to her. "Vi, Dash can have that mess taken care of in an instant. We need you here with us in case this is an even bigger emergency. To protect everyone. Okay?"
"…Okay."
"C'mon, guys! To the car!" Incredible commanded.
"But wait!" the cop shouted after them. "You don't- oohhh." They were gone.
The Incredicar pulled in front of a rundown house before any officers arrived. Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Shadow, and little Flare ran through the front door into the house.
"Oh! You're here already!" an old woman in a bathrobe, sitting on her couch in front of her TV said.
"What's the problem, Ma'am?" Mr. Incredible asked.
"Well, I'm not exactly as strong as I used to be, you know…"
"Yes," Shadow agreed.
"And well, the show's gonna be on real soon, and it'd be a shame if I missed it…"
"Ma'am, is there an emergency here?" Elastigirl asked.
"Oh yes, there is."
"Care to tell us what it is?" Shadow mumbled. Her mother elbowed her for it.
"Oh! Oh, certainly. See, I was wondering if the 9-1-1 could just send a nice young man to help me open my beer bottle before the show started!" The woman held up the bottle for proof, along with a number of items that it seemed she'd tried to open it with. As you might've guessed, Shadow gave her parents a truly irritated look. (A/N inspired from a true event)
Dash ran straight into the evacuated apartment building after receiving the number of the room where the creep lay, waiting to be Dash-ified. The gleeful teen started humming the Jaws theme to himself as he quietly walked up the stairs. But when he arrived at the room, he noticed the door ajar, light falling out into the dark hall. He cautiously peeked inside. From where he stood, he could only see furniture. So, in perfect Dash form, he ran in and ducked behind a sofa. And cringed when he heard the door slam against the wall from him pushing it open so he could do his perfect Dash form. That, after all, is what perfect Dash form is all about.
However, no one came storming in. In fact, Rapid Fire didn't hear anything in the entire apartment. He stood up, looked out a nearby window where the cops and a small group of press peoples (mostly the leftovers from the bank robbery, he noticed) were gathered, waiting for him to send an all clear sign. The boy turned back to the apartment, and started to walk cautiously in.
"Hello?" he called as quietly as possible, hoping not to find himself face to face with some armed maniac. As he rounded a corner from the main room into a kitchen/dining room, though, Rapid Fire was shocked to find he needn't worry.
Beside a table, the girlfriend and sister were sitting unconscious against each other, with their bonds of cotton rope cut from around them. In the corner, a giant sledge hammer leaned against a wall with little gun-bits surrounding it. And right in front of him, the creep lay unconscious. Well, not exactly "lay." He was tied all around his torso, and from his back another rope had him tied to the ceiling fan. The man's mouth was covered with a white bandana, and on his face was drawn a big smiley face in black sharpie. Something else was drawn on him: a little black diamond was outlined on his forehead.
He walked over to the kitchen window and leaned out into the alley it looked over. All he saw was a trash bin at one end, and some random motorcycler driving down the road on the other end. He went back and looked at the guy.
That's weird, Rapid Fire thought. Just as he stood back up from looking at the guy's face, he noticed the girls waking up.
"Oh! It's Rapid Fire!"
"What? Wait, you mean we're not… it is Rapid Fire!"
"Uh…"
They noticed their brother/boyfriend hanging peculiarly from the ceiling fan.
"He saved us!"
"Yeah… sure."
"What is it?"
"I'm trying to remember how I got him up there."
Rapid Fire was watching the cops carry the bound man towards a police car, the girls being tended to by paramedics, when the Incredicar blasted up to him.
"Hey Son! Went well I take it?"
"Uh, sure, you?"
"Oh, it was marvelous," his sister said as the group got out of the car.
"Uh," Dash said quietly, "actually, I didn't do it."
"What?"
"The guy was already tied to the ceiling fan when I got there."
"That is odd," agreed Elastigirl.
"Wait," Shadow said. "Did he have some strange marker on him?"
"Yeah, there was a smiley face drawn on him-"
"Nope, never mind. That's just weird."
"Tell me about it. -and a little diamond."
"Oh! I was right!"
"What is it?"
"In current events class. These last couple months, the cops keep showing up to places, expecting they'll need to call us in, only to find the creeps taken care of, with little diamonds drawn on their foreheads."
"It couldn't be a super, we're to only registered ones in the area."
"Except Frozone, but he'd never-"
"Wait a minute!"
"What! What is it, Shadow?"
"My Calc test! It's been an hour! I'm gonna die!"
Helen gasped. "The preschool teacher is probably going crazy!"
"Jim's probably been looking in every bathroom in the school, trying to figure out where I'm being sick."
"And I have… about three minutes left for my lunch hour. I think it's time we returned to our daily activities, hm?"
"Agreed!" the family shouted in unison, and the group piled into the Incredicar once again.
As Bob was finishing tying back on his tie, sitting down at his office desk, his secretary rang in.
"A Rick Dicker's on the phone for you, Mr. Parr."
"Oh, sure, I'll talk to him."
Click. "Hey Bob."
"Hey Rick! What can I do for you?"
"I think we should meet later tonight. NSA business."
"What about?"
How's THAT for a second chapter! Pretty good, if I do say so myself! But then, I eat Pop-tarts and cherry pie with my pizza.
Review…?
