Title: Happy
Ending
Author: Sw33t-Sorrows
Genre:
Angst/Romance
Rating: T
Summary: Well, I know
better than anyone else, that a happy ending never suits
me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Pairings:
Inu/Kag
Happy Ending
There are lots of
stars
As if to fill the gap between thick clouds
They are
shining like a prayer
Almost like a shout
And my chest is
constricted
I hope the morning will come for me soon
Before
I can't hide up my weakness
We used to sit here and watch the stars together. We used to hold each other underneath the beautiful night sky. We would whisper I love you's and small secrets about our childhoods. He would smile the smile that he saved especially for me, and I would kiss him with the lips that would remain forever his. But tonight, I lay in the hut by myself as I let my tears soak the pillow I sleep upon. Looking out the small window at the bright moonlit sky, I smile slightly at our wonderful memories.
I wish that he would come back to me. But he left almost ten years ago, left me with nothing but the memories to remember him by. He left me with a heavy heart, left me with millions of tears to cry. It was during the final battle in which he was killed. Sacrificing his life for myself and our unborn child, only to have his sacrifice go wasted. Our child was killed, I think as I trace my hand over my abdomen. To have the feeling of life blossoming inside you - it was the best feeling I have ever experienced other than falling in love with Inuyasha. However, I have nothing left.
It's strange I feel so
lonely at night
Only because you are not here
After how
many times of
Committing a sin like htis
Will I be
inhuman?
Will I be invisible to everyone?
Every night I have cried myself to sleep. Sango and Miroku believe I have moved on. Oh, but do they not understand? I am no better than the dead priestess Kikyo. My soul has been shattered and my heart as been torn. Do they not understand, that without Inuyasha, I shall never be whole again? I will always be missing a piece of myself, a piece of myself that I shall never get back. I am nothing but an empty shell of flesh and bones. I want the feeling of completion again. I want to see the image of perfection once more. I want to hold the man who meant the world to me. I want so much more, but I shall not have it.
I have never returned home, but then again - where is home for someone like me? I do not belong in either worlds. I come from a world where I have never fit in, I now live in a world which was never mine to begin with. Where do I belong?
"You belong with me, Kagome," His wonderful voice filled my ears and I feel my heart become heavier with each word. "Wherever you go, I'll follow you,"
"Would you really do that for me Inuyasha?" He nodded and pulled me into his warm embrace.
I find nothing I want in a place like this
Which
I escaped and tumbled into
I rip my feelings off my heart
And
stick a smile on the mask
Please take me away from here
Before
everything becomes a memory
In my world, all I have is school and a career to work for. My family, you ask? I have not seen them in over ten years. I do not have the courage to face them. I thought I had everything to live for in the Feudal Era. But everything I had lived for, was destroyed in a matter of seconds. "Do you believe in destiny, Kagome-sama?" I remember Miroku asking me.
"Why would you ask me something like that, Miroku?" I had asked him in return. I told him that I did not. But I wonder - if it was destiny. Was it destined for Inuyasha to leave me? Was it destined for me to end up like this?
"Do you believe in destiny, Inuyasha?" Miroku turned to the hanyou.
"Keh," He snorted. "Destiny's nothing but a phoney, I don't believe that there's a road we were destined to pick. I think that happiness is gained using our own strength, using our own abilities." I have never heard Inuyasha speak so maturely before. I looked up and he flashed me a smile.
It was something that I would never forget.
I felt I knew the meaning of love a
little
After I had met you
If I can finish my penance some
day
If I'm forgiven some day...
But I have no right after
all that
To tell the definition of happiness
I was happy.
I really was. I was going to have a family of my own. I had a husband, and I was going to have a child. My life was truly beginning and then, it just...finished. My story was different from others. Stories usually have beginnings, middles and ends. Mine only had an awkward beginning, and an awful ending. There was no middle, there was no happiness, there was no family. So what am I to do now? Am I supposed to go back to the present, and force myself to face the family that I abandoned ten years ago?
I abandoned them, for something that was well beyond my reach. I do not deserve to see them again. Going back would only cause them pain, would it not? I smile bitterly to myself as I realized in this world of black and white, I was alone. I am forced to face the cruel world by myself. I jumped when a crash of lightning could be heard and the rain began pouring from the sky. Inuyasha is probably upset - he knows I hate being alone. He can probably see me crying. Oh, Inuyasha, how I want to hold you...
It's strange I feel so lonely at night
Only
because you are not here
I felt I knew the meaning of love a
little
After I had met you
If I can finish my penance some
day
If I'm forgive some day...
"Look at the moon, Kagome," My mother said to me in her softest voice. "Isn't it beautiful?"
"Yeah," At the time I was only five years of age, and my father had passed away. I was very upset, and my mother had tried everything to cheer me up. I was not actually paying any attention to the moon at all, but when I looked, I was suddenly captivated by its radiance. Staring out my window, I felt tears gather in my eyes as I remembered my father.
"Listen to me sweetheart," My mother began. "Although your father is no longer with us, he is the moon - always watching over us at night, making sure we are safe. He lights our paths when it is dark, and brings us to happiness. Your father's only wish was for us to be happy."
Ever since, I had always loved watching the moon before I slept at night. Whenever the moon would come out in the daytime, I would tell myself that father misses us, and he just couldn't wait until the night to see us. It always comforted me, it made me feel like father was only just a heartbeat away. I almost laugh bitterly as I realize it was all lies. Death is death. One dies and he shall never be forgotten - but he shall never be felt again. I can never trace my fingers over his face, I can never cuddle myself into his chest, I can never feel the warmth of his body next to mine ever again. But I turn over on my futon as more tears release themselves from my eyes - forcing those eyes shut, I can do nothing but drift into a light slumber.
For death begins with life's first breath, and life begins at touch of death.
Perhaps I should be happy for him?
...Perhaps.
Well,
I know better than anyone else
That a happy ending never suits me.
A/N: Review please! Thank you.
Sw33t-Sorrows.
