Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I do, however, own the accident that screwed my brain up. All of them.

A/N: Wow! No one asked about my decapitation incident! W00t! That means I don't have to waste time telling you about it! HAHA!

Just so you know, I'll probably update this story randomly, with no set number of chapters in mind. I usually update after either a) getting an idea, or b) suffering a head injury. This is the latter.

Enjoy, you filthy-minded adolescents. . .

BEHIND THE SCENES IN TITANS TOWER!

Chapter Two!

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

BeastBoy looked up from the book he was reading in rage. His nostrils flared as his two best friends continued their long tirade over whether or not Cyborg had just cheated. Robin's finger was pushed against Cyborg's chest, and the mechanical man was yelling non-stop. They both were.

"You can't do that! It's unsportsmanlike!"

"That don't mean anything! I can do what I want, when I want!"

"You better watch that mouth, tin man!"

"Or what? You'll drown me in hair gel?"

"At least I have hair, baldy!"

"Oh, so you have to bring my genetics in, huh!"

"You bet I am!"

"I don't have to stand here and take this! Especially from some short little white boy!"

"Oh, now we're getting racist, too! Bring it on, $#!"

"HEY! Only black people can say that word! YOU"RE GONNA DIE #$#!"

As the two tackled each other in a frayed up frenzy, BB growled. He couldn't concentrate on reading! He looked up one final time, his eyes glaring angrily. He slammed the book close in frustration.

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP!" he cried, fire exploding from his nose. Cyborg and Robin immediately stopped to stare at the their green friend. "I can't concentrate on my reading while you two act like immature pinheads!" And with that, BB growled one last time and stomped out of the room.

Cyborg and Robin just stared. They eventually turned to look at each other. "Was that BB...reading?"

"And getting mad?"

They both stared at each other, mouths wide open. "What next?"

Their question was answered by the door opening again. This time, both their mouths dropped to the floor simultaneously. Raven was standing in the doorway, dressed entirely in pink. Pink leotard, pink cloak, pink everything! A huge smile was plastered on her face. She skipped into the room, throwing various flowers left and right.

"HAPPY BLORTHOG!"

PIMP MASTAH CYBORG

"Oh yeah, that's it, girl!" Cyborg said in the middle of making out with Jinx. The dark enchantress smiled as she closed the gap between their lips once more. Cyborg happily kissed back.

"I love you," Jinx said, her hand slowly moving down his chest.

"I love you, too," Cyborg said, moving his hand to Jinx's leg. "How about we go all the way?"

"Definitely," Jinx said, smiling. Just as she prepared to take off her skirt, however, the door to Cyborg's room slammed open.

"WHAT!" BumbleBee cried, her eyes huge. "Cyborg, how could you cheat on me for this...this...villain!"

"Uh...I can explain?" Cyborg tried sheepishly. He smiled nervously.

"What! I thought you dumped her!" Jinx said, now looking horrified.

"You wish he did, bitch!" Bee said, tackling the short witch. The two began to fight on the floor frantically. As they did so, Cyborg tried to split them up, but only got knocked back.

"Cyborg, I'm heeeere..." came another voice from the doorway. They all looked up to see Sarah (from the Teen Titans GO! Comics) standing in the doorway as well.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Cyborg cried, desperate to keep at least one of his many girlfriends.

"Well, it looks like you have two very ugly girls fighting over you that I've never even met before!" Sarah cried, beginning to sob.

"Sarah..." Cyborg said, his face becoming worried.

"UGLY?" cried Jinx and Bee, now tackling Sarah as well. The three girls continued to fight as yet another person appeared at the doorway.

"Cyborg, it's me, Sarasim!" said the cave-girl happily.

"Wha–?" Cyborg said, now looking at his long-lost love. "What? But you died thousands of years ago!"

"Raven brought me back to cheer you up!" Sarasim said. "Who are these other girls?"

"We're his girlfriends!" all three fighting girls cried at once, still beating the crap out of each other.

"WHAT! But Cyborg, I thought I was your only love!" Sarasim pleaded.

"Yeah, well, you see," Cyborg said frantically. "I knew I wouldn't see you again anyway, so I might have started that relationship a bit early. Besides, I was pretty sure you were gonna die when I left."

"What!" Sarasim cried, now thoroughly ticked. "I'll kill you!" And with that, Sarasim jumped Cyborg, trying to rip him to pieces. Cyborg cried out in pain as the cave-girl did so. At ocne, all the other girls jumped them as well, and the five fought long and hard.

Eventually, Raven came to the door. "Can you keep it down!" she cried. Then she saw what was happening. "Cyborg, what the hell is going on here?"

"All the girls I've ever fallen in love with are trying to kill each other!" Cyborg cried frantically, trying to pry them off him. He was surprised when he saw Raven began to tear slightly. "Now what?"

"Cyborg, I thought..." Raven said, looking away. She sniffled quietly. "I thought you loved me!"

"Oh, now come on!" Cyborg cried, jumping up. "This is just DUMB! There has been absolutely no evidence whatsoever to support that statement!"

(A/N: HA! Take that Cy/Rae fans! Cyborg speaks the truth!)

And now, Cyborg had five girls in his room, all crying and fighting angrily. HE began to feel fed up. Steam blew out of his ears as his face turned bright red.

"ENOUGH!" he cried, yelling so loud he broke a computer. Immediately, they all stopped. Jinx and BumbleBee were laying on top of each other, grabbing at each other's hair. Sarah was unconscious, thanks to her lack of super-powers. Sarsi was on Cyborg's back, attempting to bite through his neck. And Raven was crying in a corner, rocking back and forth.

"The truth is, I don't love ANY of you!" Cyborg cried angrily. "The truth is, there is only one person out there for me."

"YEAH!" came a sixth and final voice. "ME!"

They all turned to look at the newcomer. It was Gizmo. He smiled. "I brought the flowers, Cyborg, my love!"

WHY TERRA HASN"T COME BACK YET

"That's it! I've done it!" Cyborg said, pumping a fist in the air triumphantly. "I've found a way to bring back Terra!"

At this, several things happened. Robin and Star looked up to stare at Cyborg. BeastBoy paused his game to jump up and run over to the tin man. And Raven looked up from her book. You could hear her growling in the distance.

"Are you serious?" BB said, a smile consuming his face. "Finally! We can bring her back! YAHOO!"

"That is stupendous news!" Starfre cried, jumping into the air happily. "Finally we will be able to see friend Terra once again!"

"Good to hear," Robin said, just as happy as everyone else.

Raven however, just growled. She hated Terra. And she hated how the blonde bitch made BB go all 'googily-eyed'. She wished BB would love her, instead of that blonde traitor.

"Okay, I'm creating the serum now!" Cyborg said, transferring the data into a large beaker. "But be careful! I can only do this once. It's one of a kind."

"Who cares?" BB said, jumping up and down happily. Finally, the machine beeped. A beaker appeared, fll of yellow and green liquid. BB grabbed it impatiently.

Elated, the green boy began to dance around happily. "Terra's comin' back! Terra's comin' back!" Finally, he stopped and looked at the door. "C'mon! Let's go now! The sooner the better!"

And with that, the green teen ran towards the doorway, the serum held out in front of him stupidly. As BB neared her. Raven did the only thing she could think of to do. She stuck her foot out.

The changeling yelped out as Raven's leg tripped him. Falling on his chest, the beaker fell and crashed onto the floor. The serum disappeared, vanishing into the air as it hit the floor.

The formula was gone.

BB looked like he was about to cry. He looked up at Raven with tearing eyes. The rest of the Titans stared at her to, desperate to know what came over her.

She shrugged and gave a small smile. "Oops. Clumsy me."

BB frowned. "Raven, that's what you said the last three times we tried this."

WHY RAVEN'S ALWAYS SO. . . LIKE RAVEN

"Oh come on, Rae!" BB pleaded. "Just a little tofu! C'mon, it's filled with soybeany goodness!"

"Herbal...Tea," Raven said, referring to the large cup she was drinking.

"You know that stuff can't be that good for you!" BB said.

Raven shrugged. "Eh. Probably not."

"You know what, I don't even know what they use to make this stuff," BB said, picking up the nearby package of herbal tea.

"Neither do I," Raven said, taking another large gulp of it. "But I never really cared. I've drunk nothing but this stuff for years, and I came out all right."

"Whoa, hold on!" BB said, reading the label on the package. "Rae, have you ever read this label?"

"No, why?" she asked. "What's it say?"

"Um, let's see..." BB said, reading it out loud. It read:

WARNING! Do not drink more than one cup of this herbal tea every 48 hours!

Prolonged drinkage of said tea can cause serious side-effects.

These side-effects include, but are not limited to:

Purple hair and eyes

Loss of voice

Low self-esteem

Constant head aches

Evil grins

Attraction towards green individuals

Non-stop PMSing

As BeastBoy finished reading the label, he looked up to stare at Raven. She just stared back, her eyes wide. After a good minute of staring at the green teen, she looked back down at her tea. The brown liquid just sat there.

As Raven's eyes remained wide, she looked back up at BeastBoy, who shifted nervously.

"Heh," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I guess this explains a lot, huh?"

WHY ROBIN REFUSES TO GET 'CLOSE' TO STAR

"How come you never showed me these cool moves, Starfire?" Robin asked the red-haired alien girl. Star merely blushed and turned away.

"Probably because she doesn't know them," Blackfire said, laughing. Star looked away again. "I always was the better fighter!"

"I...must go now," Star said, floating out of the room.

"Star, wait!" Robin said, reaching out for her. But she was gone. He sighed.

"You like my sister, don't you?" Blackfire said, approaching Robin. "Don't worry, I can keep a secret."

"Well, okay, if you promise not to tell anyone," Robin said, turning to Star's sister. "The truth is...I love Star more than anyone I've ever met."

"That's what I thought," Blackfire said, grinning. The next thing Robin knew, he was on his back, with Blackfire on top of him. The alien girl was hissing loudly, and her eyes glowed a dangerous purple.

"You ever so much as touch my little sister, and I'll kill your entire family, and all your friends!" Blackfire said, hissing like a snake. A forked tongue snaked out of her mouth.

"And I'll make you watch while I kill them!" she said, growling. "And then I swear I'll castrate you on the spot! That way you'll never have sex, with Star or anyone else! Get what I'm saying, bird boy!"

WHY ROBIN NEVER TAKES OFF HIS MASK

Robin sat in the doctor's room, sitting on the table in the corner. He was dressed up in his full costume, even the mask. He never took off his mask. And that was actually the reason he was here. The 12 year old boy looked around nervously.

"So, what seems to be the problem, Robin?" the doctor said, walking into the room.

"It's my mask, doctor," Robin said, jumping off the table. "Whenever I take it off, my head hurts. A LOT. Batman doesn't know what to do, so I came here. Can you help me?"

"Well, your tests all came back good," the doctor said, smiling. "Except this one thing, that is. Apparently, you have Mask Dependency Syndrome."

"Mask Dependency Syndrome?" Robin asked. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that you need to wear your mask. "According to the tests, if you take your mask off, a growth will appear on you forehead. It will grow bigger and bigger until you put the mask back on."

"What kinda growth?" the Boy Wonder asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Well, according to the tests..." the doctor said, looking slightly disgusted. "You'll have a dick growing out of your had. Medically speaking off course."

"WHAT?" Robin said, horrified and disgusted at the same time. Suddenly, he no longer liked the name of Dick Grayson. . .

"That's what it says," the doctor said, scratching his head in confusion. "My, that's weird."

"So, what you're telling me," Robin said, "is that when I look into the mirror in the morning, without my mask, I'll see a huge...WANG growing out of my forehead?"

"Oh no," the doctor said, smiling. "You won't be able to see it."

"The testicles will be in the way of your eyes."

A/N: Pleasant thought to leave you with, huh? I love dirtying your minds. Next time I think I'll do a chapter on the villains of the show. I'm sure they must have some stories to tell. Hehe...

Review or I'll make sure you all get Mask Dependency Syndrome. I love threatening people with sick diseases...