For Here_For_Malec, who was the only one to actually express a preference between the two SH fics I've finished thus far and offered you last week.
Warning for Angst. There's a hell of a lot of angst here, in my personal opinion. There's also a lot of feels, and romance, and I swear there's a happy ending, but things do get a bit intense on the angst front (I'll be honest and admit that I cried a bit both writing it and while editing it). I do believe (hope) it's worth it. I wanted to write a canon divergence fic practically from the moment I first watched the break-up scene, but after reading so many fics I couldn't think of something original enough... Then I wrote "Butterflies and Hurricanes" and at some point while working on the last installment on that, this idea hit me. Or at least, the start, I didn't actually think of the latter half of the story until I was already writing it. Once again, hope you'll enjoy!
An Angel's Word
By: Lalaith Quetzalli
It is said that a man's word is his bond, and an angel's… When Asmodeus tries to use Alec's deal for Magnus's magic to break the couple up, he'll realize it's not that easy. An angel-blooded will never break a promise, especially not one made out of love. For an Angel's Word is an Unbreakable Vow…
Alec can sense it when the warlock's no longer alone inside her own body. He's always had good senses, and while the demonic essence is muted, due to being channeled, and not there physically, Alec can still sense the change:
"Alexander Gideon Lightwood." The Greater Demon inside the warlock fortune-teller addresses him directly.
"You know who I am?" Alec's not even sure why he's surprised, with the kind of power Asmodeus is said to have, he should have expected it.
"Of course." The Greater Demon replies. "Clever idea, calling on me this way."
"I wasn't gonna risk summoning a Greater Demon into New York again." Alec explains evenly. "But I had to speak with you."
"And how is my son?"
Alec has no doubt that if Asmodeus knows who he is, then he quite probably has at least some idea of how Magnus is. Still, that is a question he cannot not answer, not if he hopes to get what he wants in this encounter…
"Miserable. He told me that he'll never be happy again without his magic. So, please, if you ever cared about Magnus, return what you stole."
"What I stole?" There's no doubt what he thinks about that particular accusation. "My son gave me his powers willingly… to save his lover's parabatai. Pathetic."
"It's not pathetic." Alec insists, useless as he knows it is. "It was a selfless act."
"And one he already regrets. Immortals aren't meant to grow wrinkled and grey. In time, Magnus will come to resent you, until the bitter end."
The worst part is that Alec cannot even deny it, not with any degree of certainty. Until yesterday he'd have said with absolute surety that he and Magnus could overcome anything. Any difficulty, any trial, their love would carry them through. That there was nothing stronger than their love, nothing that could ever break them apart… that was, at least, until he realized how foolish he'd been to believe it was that easy, to believe that the worst was behind them, to not have seen just how much the loss of his magic was affecting his beloved… just how important magic was to him, had always been. The fact that maybe, just maybe, Magnus might love his magic more than he loved Alec…
"I'm here to prevent that future." He's not quite sure how, but the nephilim manages to keep his emotions tightly controlled as he keeps talking to Asmodeus. "To get him his magic and his immortality back."
"Fine." The Greater Demon agrees; Alec knows it's too easy, and is proven right just a moment later: "I'll restore both. Under one condition. End your relationship."
"What?" Of all the things Alec imagined the demon might demand as payment, that one wasn't anywhere on the list.
Really, Alec isn't stupid. He knew from the get go that Asmodeus would demand some sort of payment for giving Magnus his magic back. 'Nothing in life is ever free' after all. His refusal to take a time and think about it, to ponder on what the demon might want was more due to him not wanting to admit how far he's willing to go, just how much he'd be willing to give for Magnus (things he shouldn't, things the Clave would never agree with… though they'd probably de-rune him just for thinking about making a deal with a Greater Demon!)… He never imagined that Asmodeus might ask for… this.
"You are the source of all his suffering." The demon continues. "You make him vulnerable, weak. With you, he'll never reach his full potential."
"You're wrong." Alec denies vehemently. "We love each other. I wouldn't just abandon him."
He cannot abandon Magnus. HE CANNOT!
"Then I'm afraid you will be the death of him." Asmodeus states with what's almost a dismissive shrug.
Alec hesitates, just for a moment, though probably not for the reason the demon might expect.
"Magnus would never agree to it." He says, just for something to say, while his mind's spinning with choices, possibilities, consequences…
"Don't give him the choice." Asmodeus presses, probably believing he has Alec right where he wants him. "In fact, Magnus can never know about our little arrangement, or else the deal is off. Break his heart to save his life."
Break his heart to save his life… The demon understands nothing at all, does he?
"I cannot do that."
The absolute silence that greets that statement tells Alec how much Asmodeus wasn't expecting that reply.
"You don't want him to have his magic back then?" The demon demands. "His immortality?"
"It's not that simple." Alec begins.
"But it is!" Asmodeus interrupts with a near-snarl. "You called me here to make a deal nephilim! Now you're too cowardly to make it! Or is it that my son isn't worth it?"
"Magnus is worth anything and everything I could possibly give." Alec answers passionately. "My very own heart and soul included." He forces himself to calm down as he continues: "But like I said. It's not that simple. Tell me, do you know why it is that Seelie cannot lie?"
The apparent non-sequitur clear throws the demon completely, for he has no reply.
"It's not a curse, which is what some believe." Alec continues evenly. "And it has nothing to do with their demon blood either. It's actually connected to the angel-blood in them. See, angels do not lie. I'm not saying they cannot do it, they just don't. It's just not something they even think about doing. And why would they? That characteristic is reinforced with the seelie, making it so they cannot lie, regardless of how much they might want to. Though I suppose that it might not be something they think about trying, since it's something they know they cannot do, what would the point be of even thinking about wanting it?" He shakes his head, that wasn't the point of his speech anyway! "Nephilim have that in their blood too, though it manifests in a different way. We can lie, of course. I suppose it's the human in us. However, there's one specific circumstance in which we can never lie: when it comes to promises. When we give our word, it's binding. Whatever promises we make, however big or small, each and every one of them carry the same weight of the most solemn oath. My grandmother used to define it saying: 'An Angel's Word is an Unbreakable Vow'…"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Asmodeus demands.
That question, more than anything else, tells Alec that the demon doesn't know quite as much as he pretends he does. Oh, he might know the basics, but not details, otherwise he'd know the answer already.
"I've made promises to your son." He explains. "Promises I cannot, will not, go back on."
"What promises?" Asmodeus presses.
He's probably hoping to find a way around things. He has no idea.
"Magnus I… I love you."
"I… I don't think I can live without you."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"As long as you're here, I'm not going anywhere."
"I won't lose you! I can't."
"I've promised never to leave him." Alec summarizes. "But more than that. I love him, and I've told him thus, time and again. None of those declarations might have been preceded by the words 'I promise', but that doesn't lessen the fact that each time I did I considered them as important as my most solemn oath. What I'm trying to say, is that I won't leave Magnus, not now, not ever. He's… everything to me. I will love him forever."
"Forever?" The Greater Demon scoffs. "What does a nephilim knows of forever? One day you'll die, like all mortals do, angel-blood or not. And when you do, you'll leave him."
Alec grits his teeth, fighting to keep his control. He hates being reminded of his own mortality. Though at the same time, every time it happens he's also forced to, little by little, come to terms with the fact that there's nothing he wouldn't do for Magnus, for his love…
Asmodeus seems to pick up on that, or perhaps there's some other reason, though Alec would be at a loss to figure out what, as he takes their argument in a direction the shadowhunter would have never expected:
"Would you stay with him? Would you forsake the paradise promised to those of angel-blood and stay with my son, forever?"
Alec takes a moment to consider his answer. Not because he believes, even for a moment, that the answer might ever be no. But rather, he needs time to consider the consequences, not just for himself, but everyone around him. Because he doubts that Asmodeus is bluffing, which means that he needs to have a full understanding of his answer and its implications before actually giving it.
It's not that he hasn't thought about forever, about immortality before. As invested as he might have been in the dream of him and Magnus growing up, and old, together, he would take them simply not aging together as well… it's actually the latter half of the statement that he's left wondering about nowadays. It's not… he doesn't doubt that Magnus loves him, not really. But in his beloved's own words, he's had thousands of relationships before, he's loved people, lost them, and moved on. Because he had to, yes. The question is, can he handle not losing them? Not moving on? Does he even want that kind of commitment? Not many people would, Alec doesn't take it personally. Forever is a long time, after all. The thing is, he's Nephilim. Like Jace and the rest of them have told Clary, repeatedly 'All the legends are true.', including the one about nephilim in love: it is well-known (at least among his own people) that nephilim only love once (truly), and fiercely. It's not that nephilim cannot have multiple relationships, they can even marry, and divorce, and move on (his parents are proof of that), but rather, the truest love a nephilim can give another, a love that is absolute, with no hesitation, no limits, the 'rune on the heart' as some call it, only happens once.
'A rune on the hand, a rune on the heart.' is another well-known nephilim phrase. Not many truly understand that one though. Most believe it's simply the fact that wedding-union runes can be drawn either on the hand, or the heart. Like it's just a matter of personal preference. Truth is much different. It's also a known fact that the closer a rune is to the heart, the harder it is to 'erase it' (like in the cases of derunement). The pain is much greater than of runes found on the arms and legs. Surprisingly enough, few people ever put those two things together. The fact is that most couples choose to have their wedded-union runes on their hands, most might even see it as being practical (since it's usually done during a public ceremony, it's much easier to draw a rune on one's hand, than on their chest). Truth is that wedded-union runes drawn over the heart cannot be erased, ever. According to some very dusty old records Alec read once, the mere attempt has been known to drive nephilim insane. It's why, in some circles it is known that only true love matches would draw their runes there. No one else would dare take such a risk.
Alec would. If Magnus could take runes, if he were willing to take the wedded-union rune from Alec, the nephilim would want his to go right over his heart. Regardless of where his beloved warlock chose to have his. His choice is made, has been made, in many ways, from the very first time he told Magnus 'I love you'…
"What is it you want from me exactly?" He finally asks Asmodeus.
"That's not an answer." The Greater Demon points out.
"I love Magnus, with everything I am, heart and soul." It's not the passionate declaration of a hot-blooded (immature) lover, but the calm statement of fact of a grown man who knows his own heart and mind better than most think he does. "If it were in my hands, to remain at his side for as long as he lives, the choice would already be made. However, it's not just up to me. The decision is his as well. He's made the choice to be with me, potentially for the rest of my life, that doesn't mean he's necessarily prepared for that life to extend indefinitely. And I will not force myself on him. Not even for this."
When it came down to it, Magnus didn't see Alec as being enough for even one mortal life, not when he didn't have his magic. Would he see Alec's continued presence as something to endure, a price to pay, in order to get his magic back? The nephilim doesn't know, and he doesn't want to see it that way. He doesn't think his heart could take it.
"Also," Alec continues. "I won't let you use me as some sort of bargaining chip against him. Too many people have wronged Magnus already. Even I have, much as I might not have meant to." Mistakes, so many mistakes… "So tell me what do you want exactly, and I'll tell you if I'm willing to make a deal."
Truth be told, and while the demon would never admit it out-loud, he cannot help but be impressed by the young shadowhunter, by his strength of character. He hadn't known one like him ever before, not in all his existence. It'd seem like, perhaps, his son has chosen well this time. Has chosen a partner who just might be worthy of standing by him forever…
"I want you to forsake Heaven," Asmodeus instructs. "You will give up on death and the mortal's rest and instead agree to be bound to this existence, like all immortals. You will stand by Magnus, as long as he allows it and it's in your power to do so. You will never betray him."
"Does Magnus have to know about our deal?" Alec asks.
"You don't have to tell him." The Greater Demon states with an arch of his brow.
Alec can hear what's not being said as clearly as what is, but chooses not to insist, so he focuses on what truly matters instead.
"When will you give him back his magic and his immortality?" He inquires.
"Tonight, when he's sleeping." Asmodeus decides. "It'll be less traumatic that way. So, does that mean we have a deal?"
"We do." Alec nods solemnly.
Asmodeus observes him carefully for a few seconds longer before waving his hand, a small crystal vial appearing on his hand. If Alec's surprised that the demon has enough control over his vessel to use his magic, he doesn't show it. He takes the vial when it's offered, silently noting the dark red of the liquid inside it; before turning back to Asmodeus, he can make an educated guess as to what the liquid is, but still wants to hear it.
"Demon blood." Asmodeus confirms. "As you well-know, nothing with demonic blood can cross the pearly gates. Drink it, and you'll automatically be forsaking heaven, as agreed. If you survive it, you'll also be immortal, which will take care of your part of the deal."
Of course he wouldn't mention beforehand that even trying to fulfill his part of the deal might kill him! Alec isn't even surprised. It doesn't matter. He cannot die. He will endure whatever is necessary to make things right. So without a word in question or complaint, he uncaps the vial and takes it like he would a shot. It tastes just as bad, to him; also like a shot of alcohol, the liquid burns going down his throat. Except, unlike a normal shot, the burning doesn't stop when the liquid's gone all the way down, instead it just gets worse. Suddenly it's not just his throat burning, the sensation extends until his whole body seems to be burning from the inside. It's… excruciating, his whole body's burning from the inside out.
Alec has no idea how much time passes, it feels like both an eternity, and no time at all at the same time. When it ends he finds himself curled up on the floor, sweating and panting. For a moment he's not actually sure he's alive at all. The first thing he notices is that he still has his runes. For a moment he thinks he sees a strange almost-red glow on them, but when he blinks they're all black, as always.
"It's done." Asmodeus announces, somewhat unnecessarily.
Alec can tell the difference when he's gone, as the fortune-teller is left 'staring' at him pensively, before speaking:
"You're an odd one, for a shadowhunter." She comments. "Was it worth it?"
"Yes," Alec doesn't even hesitate before answering. "Always."
Magnus will always be worth anything to Alec, everything, forever.
xXx
Magnus wakes up to his boyfriend slipping out of bed, probably trying not to wake him, early the next morning. He thinks he can vaguely remember Alec joining him some time after midnight, murmuring a quiet 'I love you' against Magnus's neck before falling asleep. And now he's up again… how long has it been? It cannot have been eight hours yet. Probably not even six! In any case, as he does every morning when he's still not fully awake and acting purely on instinct, Magnus reaches for his magic to find out what time it is. It's something instinctive for him. Since the loss of his magic it's also become a source of grief. As every morning he forgets the magic is gone and reaches for it, only to find that spot in his core empty, and the pain of the loss hits him all over again… Except this time when he reaches for it, the spot isn't empty. Magic jumps at him, revealing that it's early in the morning, barely past dawn. He also hears the shower start, but he pays no attention to that, just staying where he is, sitting on the rather utilitarian bed of his boyfriend right there in the Institute, staring at his hands, at the blue sparks dancing between his fingers… His magic… his magic's back! He… he doesn't know what's going on, how is it even possible?! He's not hallucinating, he knows that much. His magic is back. And he knows it is in fact his magic, he can feel the different from the infusion Lorenzo gave him (the difference is so great he can barely believe he ever thought Lorenzo's magic could be in any way an acceptable substitute!).
"Alex… Alexander!" He cries out.
His boyfriend rushes out of the bathroom at the call of his name, he's mostly naked, except for a small towel loosely tied around his waist; body still damp, bangs plastered to his forehead and some drops actually falling down his body, light skin unblemished but for the stark black of his runes. The view is enough that Magnus can almost feel his brain coming to a halt for a handful of seconds. He suddenly feels so very thirsty…
"Magnus?" Alec's voice makes him react. "Is everything alright?"
"I have my magic back!" Magnus announces, snapping his fingers and changing his clothes, even doing his make-up, just because he can. "Everything's just perfect darling."
For a moment, just for a moment, a shadow seems to fall over hazel eyes. It's there and gone in less than a second.
"How do you feel about some breakfast?" Magnus proposes, waving his fingers playfully, letting sparks of magic manifest, as if to emphasize what's he's gotten back.
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I've got to get to the office." Alec informs him.
"Has something happened?" Magnus inquires, confused by the rush.
"A lot actually." Alec admits grimly as he moves past Magnus to get clothes out of his closet. "Johnathan is dead. Clary… she didn't take it well. Though thankfully that experimental serum and one of her runes proved to be enough to split her from him before he died. I don't even want to imagine what would've happened otherwise. In any case, we have a seelie in our cells, for breaking and entering… and killing someone in our custody. And while I might have no problem whatsoever, considering it was Johnathan she killed, laws were still broken, So I have to go and deal with that mess now. I've no doubt the Seelie Queen will be demanding the return of her citizen sometime soon, and while I doubt anyone other than Clary will truly mourn Johnathan, the Clave won't take the whole breaking and entering lying down. Not with everything that's already happened. So… I gotta go."
Magnus says nothing as his boyfriend passes him several times as he gets ready. Barely stopping briefly to place a chaste kiss on Magnus's temple before heading for the door. Magnus… he doesn't understand. What's going on? When Alec actually stops at the door he thinks that's finally it, his beloved will finally start acting like himself again…
"I'm glad you're happy again…" Alec murmurs softly, barely half-turning over his shoulder.
And then he's gone. And what the hell was that?! He's glad Magnus is happy? What the hell is that supposed to mean?!
Magnus is feeling very confused, a tad lost, and more than a bit petulant, so he decides to go for a walk without informing anyone. Not that anyone actually seems to notice as he takes off… apparently everyone's truly busy. He has no destination in mind, he just walks, while trying to think about what might have happened exactly.
He knows… he knows he made a mess of things. He didn't take the loss of his magic well, and in his effort to deal with it on his own, to not take it out on his Alexander in any way, it'd seem he ended up doing exactly that. He was drunk, horribly so, but that's no excuse for all the things he said, the way he acted… he ruined the lovely evening his beloved had clearly put a lot of effort in (he'd been wearing a new suit, hadn't he? He's a monster!). But how can he make it right? Maybe if he arranges for a romantic dinner himself? Because he can fix this, right? He… he's not going to lose Alexander over this, right? He cannot! What would the point be of getting his magic (and probably his immortality too) back without Alexander?! It's… he cannot imagine it. Can hardly breathe at the mere thought of losing him, of having to be without him. Has no idea how he's supposed to survive once he's gone. But still, that's a long time in the future, it has to be right? He cannot have ruined things! Not now! Please by Lilith, and the Angel, and whoever else might be listening!
"My boy…" A voice calls to him.
Magnus stops automatically, turning to face the speaker. He does a double-take, because he cannot possibly be seeing who he thinks he's seeing…
"How'd you get here?" He demands. "What fool summoned you?"
"A father's love knows no bounds." Asmodeus begins dramatically. "I could feel your pain all the way from Edom. I had to come."
When he goes to touch Magnus the warlock practically jumps to get away. His magic sparking just under the surface of his skin.
"Stay away from me!" He snaps.
"You misunderstand, son." The Greater Demon states.
"Oh, no, no, no, no." Magnus cuts him off. "I completely understand. You're here to spread your darkness, it's what you do."
"No." Asmodeus denies. "Today I've come because you're my son and I love you…"
"You have no idea what love is!" Magnus practically snarls.
When Asmodeus tries to get closer to him Magnus snaps, using his magic to push his demonic father back. For some reason this doesn't anger the older male, instead it makes him smile.
"So you did get it back, I wondered." Asmodeus nods.
"Back… my magic?" Magnus's eyes go wide as processes what his father just said, and what it means exactly. "What did you do?"
"Gave you back what's yours." The Greater Demon states, as if it were obvious.
"What was the price?" The warlock demands. "With you there's always a price!"
"Who would ever put a price on his child's happiness?"
"You! It's all you've ever done!"
"Not this time. In the centuries since you banished me, not a day has passed when I haven't felt the pain of losing you. I took your magic… to bring you closer. That was wrong. All I want is another chance to be your father again…"
"It cannot be that easy. Nothing with you is ever easy. Now tell me. What was the price? What kind of deal did you make and with who?"
"Really, you think someone would make a deal with me concerning your magic?"
He's probably trying to sound condescending, or something. Instead his words serve to push a memory to the forefront of Magnus's mind, something he said to his beloved nephilim once, not so long ago…
"You'll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right."
Stupid… lovely… nephilim! Magnus is gonna kill him! (And probably kiss him stupid afterwards). But first… there's something he has to take care of.
"What was the deal?" He demands of his father.
"I cannot tell you that."
Asmodeus doesn't even bother trying to deny the existence of a deal, or who it involves, it makes Magnus wonder, for one brief, insane moment, if his father was actually pushing him to realize a deal was made at all… but why?! It makes absolutely no sense! Pretty much like Alexander's attitude this morning, now he thinks back on it…
"You cannot, or you won't?" Magnus presses.
"It's not my place to say…" The demon says diplomatically.
"Since when do you care what is or isn't your place to say?!" Magnus snaps. "Tell me what you took from Alexander!"
"What is it with you people claiming I take things? When all I've done is offer you the greatest gifts I can give…"
"Really? And what kind of 'gift' did you offer Alexander?"
Asmodeus says nothing, he just smiles, pretty much smirks at Magnus, almost mischievously, before stepping back, vanishing into a portal. The portal is gone before Magnus can get to it, and the warlock's left with no way to go after him. He doesn't know where his father might have gone. For all he knows, he could be around the corner, or all the way back in Edom by now! There's no way to follow him, to find him. There simply is nothing Magnus can do about him, not know. However, there's something else he can, and definitely should be doing now. He needs to have a talk with Alexander…
xXx
He finds his boyfriend in his office, looking so exhausted that for a moment (just an instant) the warlock seriously considers leaving the upcoming confrontation (because, with them being who they are, there's no way it'll be anything but). That is, at least, until Alec raises his head at the sound of someone entering the room, and Magnus can see the exact moment when his expression goes from curious to guarded. That… it proves to be too much for the warlock. He hates it. His Alexander hasn't put up his walls, hasn't guarded himself in Magnus's presence since… since a talk in the back-alley by the Hunter's Moon. Where his beloved confessed to not being able to live without him. In fact, the last time he saw Alec's eyes shuttered like that was but days before, the day of the last Cabinet Meeting before the confrontation against Valentine. When he publicly snubbed his beloved and stood behind the Seelie Queen, letting her speak for the whole of the Downworld… He believed he already knew all that his actions that day had cost him, the trust of his people, not just warlocks, but even some in the other factions who never agreed with his decision, his position as High Warlock, even Isabelle's trust. He thought he and Alec were alright regarding that, but were they? Did they ever even talk about any of it? No they didn't. His beloved apologized, like it was all his fault. And Magnus let him, because it was easier. He never apologized for his own actions, for his snubbing, his lies… clearly it's past due.
"Magnus…" Alec greets him, and while his lips smile, his eyes are guarded.
The sight of it. Magnus hates it, but more than that, it pains him. How can they have gotten to this point? How could Magnus be so blind not to see it…?
"Alexander…" The warlock makes sure to press as much feeling: love, commitment, devotion, into the name as he possibly can. "Are you busy?"
"I…" Alec blinks, clearly at a loss regarding whatever's going on.
Magnus says nothing else. Giving the shadowhunter the time he needs to gather his wits.
"No, I'm free." Alec nods as he finishes settling the papers on his desk and stands, walking around his desk towards Magnus. "At least until some other world-ending crisis comes our way. They seem to happen every other week lately!" He forces a chuckle past his lips. "You have any plans?"
Magnus stares at him for several seconds, as if searching for something. Then he proceeds to write a quick fire-message and sending it, he doesn't even stop to wait for a response, he already knows what it's gonna be. Instead he uses one hand to conjure a portal, right behind his boyfriend, before using the other to push him through, stepping right behind him.
"Wha…?" Alec half-trips out of the portal and straight into a room he's never seen before, quickly realizing that Magnus's touch was the only reason he made it there, considering he's no idea where the hell he even is… "What's the meaning of this? Magnus! What's this place?"
"This is my apartment in Mykonos." Magnus answers calmly. "We needed some privacy and my flat… isn't exactly available to us right now. I already sent a fire-message to your siblings, they'll handle the Institute for the rest of the day so we can have some time to ourselves."
"Time for what?" Alec asks, somewhat defensively.
"Talk." Magnus replies stoically. "It seems we're long overdue for one of those."
Alec freezes, and Magnus can tell a part of him is on the edge of going into 'fight or flight' mode. A part of him wants to feel offended, that his boyfriend would actually be considering running away. The other just feels sad, that he's let the situation get to that point, where his beloved nephilim is actually afraid of having a talk with him.
Eventually Alec stops looking around and relaxes some. Except he doesn't look at ease, no, instead he looks almost… resigned. Which is somehow even worse.
"Lets make one thing very clear first of all." Magnus decides he needs to deal with that straight on. "I'm not leaving you. Not now, not never. And I hope like hell that if I ever do, if I've already done something so terrible that you'd consider leaving me you'd at least give me a chance to apologize for it, to promise I'll do better if you just give me another chance… Alexander…"
He's not quite sure when his tone goes from forceful to hesitant to almost begging… yet he cannot regret it. He's already seen where holding back will take him, and he cannot lose Alexander, he just can't…
"I'll never leave you." Alec answers, voice slightly damp but no less strong. "I told you before, as long as you're here, as long as you want me here, I'm not going anywhere. I am a man of my word."
"Yes, you are." Magnus nods, taking a deep breath before asking the very important question. "Will you tell me about the deal you made with my father?"
Alec exhales, he looks a tad uncomfortable, yet doesn't even try to deny it.
"Alexander… sayang, please tell me you didn't sacrifice yourself in some way for me…" Magnus cannot help his nervousness. "I… please… it's not worth it…"
"Magnus!" Alec cuts him off abruptly. "How can you even say that? You're worth everything to me! I'd give my very life for you…"
"No!" Magnus cries out in horror at the mere idea. "Never! Please no! Don't you see Alexander? Without you, there would be no life worth living, not for me."
"You'd have what truly matters."
"What truly…" Magnus thought he knew what horror was, thought nothing else could be worse, and yet…
"Magnus, it's okay," Alec assures him softly, and Magnus cannot believe that his nephilim is actually trying to comfort him, after everything! "I always knew I couldn't be enough. It's alright. I love you. That's never gonna change."
"Listen to me very carefully Alexander Gideon Lightwood," Magnus has to practically swallow back bile but he pushes through. "I love you. Completely. Irreversibly. Nothing in this world, in existence, will ever be more important to me than you. Not any possible past lovers, not any friends, not my magic, nothing. Do you hear me?"
"Magnus…"
"No. I need you to listen to me Alexander, and I need you to see that I'm telling the truth. You're all that truly matters to me. The world could end today and as long as I have you I'll still be happy. Believe me, please."
"I… I want to. I…"
"Have I destroyed your trust in me my love? Is that it?"
"No! I! I trust you Magnus, always."
"I… I know I said stuff I shouldn't have. I swear I'm going to quit drinking…"
"It's not about your drinking. The drinking might have pushed you into saying things you wouldn't otherwise have. But that doesn't make what you said any less true. You said that without your magic you could never be happy. And I know you have it back now but that doesn't change the truth… the fact that I would have never been enough to make you happy. That you told me, straight out, that nothing I did would help you. I tried to be here for you, and you wouldn't let me." He takes several deep breath, trying to calm himself, he's feeling so much in that moment he's practically shaking. "So yes, I went to Asmodeus. I made a deal with him. To give you back your magic and your immortality. The price doesn't matter. You need not worry about it. It's nothing I wouldn't give. Because, in the end, this is something I could do for you. Even if it wasn't about me directly. I could, in some small way, contribute to you finding your happiness again."
"I'll give it back." Magnus blurts out. "All of it. My magic. My immortality. I'll go to my father and tell him he can have them back and he can give you back whatever it is you sacrificed. If only so you'll believe me that nothing is ever, or will ever be more important to me than you."
"No!" Alec cries out, horrified. "Magnus…"
"Nothing Alexander." The warlock insists. "Is that what you need? Will you believe that I'm being honest then? I will do it…"
"You cannot undo this deal…"
"Oh, you haven't seen me if you think there's anything I cannot…"
"The Angels won't allow it!"
Magnus freezes at that.
"What do Angels have to do with anything?" He asks, honestly confused. "Your deal was with Asmodeus, wasn't it?"
"It was," Alec exhales, tiredly, he should have known he wouldn't be able to get away with keeping something like that a secret. "But it doesn't just involve him."
"Alexander… what did my father demand of you?" Magnus is suddenly deeply afraid, because he knows demons, what's more, he knows his father, whatever he asked of Alec, especially something involving the Angels, cannot have been good.
"He…" The nephilim swallows when he has trouble speaking. "Well at first he wanted me to break up with you, actually. 'Break his heart to save his life', I think is how he put it."
"What?!" Magnus sputters. "But you… you didn't…"
"No, I didn't." Alec ponders something before asking, in a seeming non-sequitur. "Magnus, how much do you know about nephilim and love?"
Magnus could write a book on the things he knows about shadowhunters, most of them not exactly kind. But love? He cannot think of anything specific. It's clear Alec didn't expect anything else, as he just nods before elaborating:
"It is said that nephilim only love once, and fiercely." Alec explains. "And I know what most would think. If so, how is there divorce? And cheating? And… so much more. Well, the simple answer is that one doesn't need to love the person they're marrying. Arranged marriages are pretty common among nephilim. It's rare for nephilim to get the chance to come to love someone. Yet, that's also why, when that happens, nothing will ever separate them. Love matches, they're called. They're not common, but they do happen." He sighs. "When a nephilim falls in love, truly, nothing will ever be able to change their mind. Once their mind's made up… that's it. A nephilim in love with do anything for their beloved. Anything at all."
"Oh Alexander…" Magnus begins, but his love isn't done, not yet.
"I forsook Heaven." Alec announces. "I'm now bound to this existence, like any other immortal. So you see, even if Asmodeus were willing to take your magic and immortality away again, which he won't, it wouldn't change anything. Heaven won't take me back. Not when I've chosen to forsake it once. This is a choice that cannot be unmade."
Tears fall down Magnus's face. He's left speechless. Because truly, what can he possibly say the man who's given up one of the most important things to his people, the reward they all have a right to after a life of battle and hardship, their eternal rest in heaven… and all for him? For a poor excuse of a demon-blooded…
"I love you Magnus, now and forever." Alec states with absolute serenity.
For perhaps the first time ever Magnus truly understands what that means. It'd seem that despite Alexander being so inexperienced when it came to relationships, he knew love in a way that even Magnus himself never had.
"I love you too," Magnus says, doing his best to put all his feeling in every single word. "More than anything in this world. More than the air I breathe… more than magic… You're… everything to me Alexander. Everything."
Magnus can see the exact moment when the words fully sink into Alec's mind, and not just that, but when he embraces them, believes them. He can see it in the way that the shadows leave his beloved's hazel eyes, slowly at first, then all at once. His eyes light up in a way he hasn't seen for so long, perhaps not ever. And then…
Alec cradles Magnus's face in between his hands, before bending just enough to kiss him, softly, tenderly, perhaps the most chaste kiss they've ever shared. Though that doesn't last long, the moment Alec begins to pull back Magnus's hand are on his hips and he's pulling his beloved back in, devouring his mouth in a hungry kiss with single-minded intensity.
Alec doesn't know the apartment, but he doesn't need to, he trusts Magnus, and the warlock leads his boyfriend to the bedroom, where he takes his time to divest his beloved of his clothing, piece by piece, before taking him apart, almost painfully slow, in such a way that when they both finally go over the edge the pleasure takes them so high they almost black out entirely. And everything's just… perfect.
Time passes, though neither of them can possibly know how long, exactly. The sun is shining outside, and it was dark when they first arrived to Mykonos, but that doesn't tell either of them much. And truth be told, neither of them can bring themselves to care that much. In that moment nothing is more important than the other person laying on that bed with them. Nothing is more important than their love.
"I'm sorry…" Magnus begins, making sure they're face to face, even as they're cuddled into each other, he refuses to let go for this.
"Magnus…" Alec starts to interrupt.
"No," The warlock cuts him off in turn. "Let me, let me speak darling, please. Listen to me. I am sorry, so very sorry, you'll never know how much." He takes a deep breath. "I love you, so much it… it doesn't just scare me, it downright terrifies me. More than I have words to admit. I've had… bad experiences before, that's no secret. I've experienced loss, grief, abandonment, betrayal, and I could always pull through. It might not have always been easy… at times it was even incredibly difficult. But I moved on, because I had to. That's how I always saw things. I was immortal and so I had to move on, always, It's not like I had a choice." He places a single finger on his nephilim's lips to keep him from interrupting. "And then I met you. I knew from the very beginning that you were unlike anyone else I'd ever known before. I knew, from the moment I allowed myself to love you, fully and truly, that it had never been a choice at all. I was always going to fall in love with you. How could I do anything else? But more than that, I know now that whoever there might have been before, they don't hold a candle to you, and they never will. I might have moved on from them. But I'll never move on from you. You're it for me Alexander. I love you, today, tomorrow, and to the end of time."
"Today, tomorrow, and to the end of time." Alec agrees, placing a soft kiss on his warlock's finger. "I'm not leaving you Magnus. Not ever. I give you my word…"
And that truly is as good as an unbreakable vow… the word of an angel…
So, what do you think? Did you like it? Hate it? Please tell me! Kudos/Likes/Bookmarks and Comments/Reviews are everything to me!
As always, full-sized cover/poster can be found in DA, where I go by Princess-Lalaith.
Also as always, carte-blanche to whoever might want to make a remix, sequel, sidefic, translation, fanart, translation, podfic, etc, of this or any of my other works. Just let me know about it and don't forget to give me whatever credit I might be due please!
There are more SH fics coming! A one-shot called "The Gift of Men" which I believe I've mentioned before, and I'm currently writing what I imagine will be a relatively-short multi-chaptered fic, current tentative title is "Hands and Hearts" it's an Arranged Marriage fic, pre-canon, and that's all I'm saying on the topic for the time being. I have other ideas, but haven't yet decided what I'll be working on next. We'll see.
Thanks a lot for reading and see you around!
