It is the middle of the night and Lev is sitting at the dining room table alone in the dark, with only a small amount of light to keep him company, eating a piece of chocolate cake that his amazing and talented sister Alisa had made specially for him, Alisa has always really liked baking ever since she was just a little girl, and she's quite good at it as well, so from a young age she would always make little snacks for her little brother and their parent's to enjoy.

When she first started baking their mother, who is also an incredible baker, would always help her out to make sure that nothing went wrong, but Alisa quickly got the hang of it and in no time she was creating literal masterpieces, so it came as no surprise to Lev when she had decided to surprised him with a giant chocolate cake she had made just for him to enjoy.

You see, Lev has been in a very bad mood lately and Alisa saw just how bad her little brother had been feeling recently so she had decided to bake a cake for him in hopes that it would cheer him up a little, which was something she would do quite often ever since she learned how to bake, food has always been something that easily cheered him up ever since he was little, so it was no surprise that Alisa would end up using food as a way to try and comfort her precious little brother.

And although Lev is always very grateful that his sister would take the time to prepare elaborate meals and snacks for him to eat when he isn't feeling all too well, he honestly wished that he had the heart to tell her to stop, because the result of all the food that she's been making for him had ended up having quite a negative effect on his increasing waistline.

When Alisa had given the chocolate cake to him they had both eaten a small piece of it together, though Lev's piece was bigger then Alisa's, and after they were done eating they had decided to put the cake into the fridge so that they could eat some more of it later, but in the end that plan had been completely thrown out the window, because now it's the middle of the night and Lev had eaten almost all that had been left of the cake all on his own.

And the worst part of it was that he hadn't eaten it out of hunger, no he has eaten it because of an entirely different reason.

Lev had been having a lot of trouble trying to fall asleep, and although that wasn't anything new for him, tonight it had been especially hard for him to fall asleep, his mind just kept wandering to dark places he wished it didn't go, so in the end he decided to stop trying and instead go downstairs and eat a piece of the cake in hopes that it would end up making him feel better.

He told himself that he was just going to eat a small piece, but every time he finishes eating one piece he kept saying he was going to eat just one more, but in the end he never listened to what he told himself and now he had ended up having almost eaten the whole thing, and it wasn't like the cake was small either, it had been quite a large cake.

Lev let out a loud sigh before he put the last bite of the big chocolate cake into his mouth and swallowed it, he had eaten a ginormous cake all by himself in the middle of the night and yet Lev still felt so incredibly empty, even though his stomach felt like it was about to explode he couldn't help but want to eat even more despite the fact that he knows that he really shouldn't.

Why is it that no matter how much he eats he still feels so empty? Why can't the feelings of pain and emptiness he's been feeling just go away?

Before the summer had started all Lev had to do to get rid of the horrible feelings that are always haunting him is eat a bit of his favorite food and all of those feelings would quickly go away, but now that the summer is about to come to an end those feelings just wouldn't go away no matter how much he ate, even if he stuffed himself full till he couldn't move those feelings would still always end up coming back.

Lev slowly stood up from where he had been sitting down at the dining room table and walked towards the kitchen to place his plate and fork into the dishwasher, rubbing his hurting belly to comfort it as he was doing so, despite the fact that he already stuffed himself full of chocolate cake and his stomach was hurting a lot, Lev still wanted to eat more, he needed to eat more.

He quickly opened the kitchen cupboards and started looking for something else that he could stuff himself with, and despite there being no food that he had been craving at the moment Lev didn't care, all he cared about was stuffing himself until he felt like he was going to vomit in a attempt to get rid of the horrible feelings that he's feeling, so in the end he had decided to grab the big red jar filled with sugar cookies and started eating them while he was leaning on the kitchen counter.

He knew that Alisa had made them, so Lev wasn't entirely sure if he was even allowed to eat them, but right now he couldn't get himself to care, he just needed something to make himself feel better, even if just a little.

'How did all of this even start?' Lev thought to himself as he was eating the cookies.

Oh right, it had all started because Lev had ended up developing a crush on his upperclassmen and fellow member of his high-schools volleyball club, Yaku, but Lev knows that Yaku doesn't feel the same way as he does, and that Yaku would never feel that way about Lev, after all Yaku only has eyes for Alisa, the better one of the two of them, honestly Lev couldn't blame him, Alisa is amazing, sweet and beautiful in every way, while Lev knows that Yaku usually finds him a nuisance to be around.

When Yaku had told Lev about his crush on the younger boy's sister, Lev's heart had been completely shattered as he was hit with the realization that he could never be with Yaku, after that his heart just couldn't stop aching every time he was around Yaku, but despite the sadness he felt Lev had still tried to be as supportive as he could be of Yaku's crush on his sister.

All throughout the summer Lev did his best with helping Yaku to get to know Alisa and talk to her, he had even tried to set them up on several dates, so it came to no surprise when the two of them started getting really close to each other, but it did almost surprised him just how well they got along with each other, and although Lev knew that he should be happy for the two of them it just ended up making the empty feeling inside him grow stronger and stronger.

It was hurting Lev a lot knowing that the one that he loves and his sister were getting so close to each other, Yaku clearly loves Alisa a lot, Lev wouldn't have helped him out if he didn't, Yaku gave her gifts, compliments and he stared at her with loving eyes, but when he was with Lev all he did was throw insults at him, and although Lev knows Yaku doesn't mean any of them, it was still hurting him a lot seeing the difference between how Yaku treats his sister compared to how he's always treating Lev.

It made him so unbearably sad and there wasn't anything that Lev wanted more than having the sadness go away.

So as a way of trying to make all of his negative emotions go away Lev started eating all of the snacks that Alisa would occasionally make for them all by himself, sometimes when there really wasn't anything else to eat and he desperately needed it he would even eat the snacks when they weren't made for him, while only being able to feel shame and guilt with every bite that he took.

And the feelings of shame and guilt only got worse when he started asking her to bake even more snacks for him, he felt so much shame every time he had to ask her to make more food for him because there wasn't anything else left because he had ended up eating it all, and he felt so much guilt every time he asks her to take time out of her already busy day to make food for him, though luckily for him Alisa never seems all too upset by it, but that doesn't mean Lev doesn't still feel guilty about it.

So in short Lev always had something to stuff himself with when he was feeling down, and during the summer break he only started eating more and more, he had completely stopped eating food because he was hungry and only did it to make himself feel just a little better, and it ended up having terrible side effects.

At first Lev didn't notice the increase in his weight, he hardly even noticed that his clothes were getting tighter to begin with, that was until one day he couldn't fit into his favorite pair of jeans anymore, he hadn't worn the jeans in a while so at first he thought he had just outgrown them, after all he had a habit of growing fast, but soon after all of his clothes started getting tighter and tighter, even the ones that had still been a little big on him.

At that point Lev couldn't deny his weight any longer, and to say he had been upset by it was an understatement, he had been absolutely distraught when he realized just how much weight he had gained.

When he first noticed that he had started gaining weight Lev didn't think much of it, it was just a little bit of fat, he would work it all of in no time while he's practicing, at least that's what he had thought, but now he had almost tripled in weight, it pains Lev every time he feels the massive amount of fat on his body.

And that isn't even the worst part of it, not only does most of his clothes not fit him anymore, but every time he was playing volleyball or doing any kind of physical activities, he would end up getting out of breath in mere seconds, every time he was running after the ball he would have to stop for several minutes just to catch his breath, and jumping had suddenly become a lot harder for him to do, he can't even jump as high as he used to anymore.

But it's not like he actually ended up playing as much volleyball as he thought he would during the summer, all he ended up doing was lay in his bed, eat an outrageous amount of food and feel sorry for himself.

Lev couldn't help but let out a sad laugh "Y'know, it's actually kind of funny, at the end of the school year Kuro told us not to slack off during the summer, but just look at me now, all I've been doing is slacking off." He whispered to himself as he looked down at his large bloated belly with sad eyes.

"What is the team even going to think when they see me like this?" Lev could already imagine the disgusted looks on his teammates faces when they see just how much of a fatass he has become in just a short amount of time, It made him dread having to go back to school after summer break has ended, because then he has no choice but to confront his worst nightmare.

Lev grabbed a big part of his belly fat with one hand and squeezed it tightly while he continued stuffing the cookies with his other hand. "I really let myself go way too much." He whispered as he could feel tears forming in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away before they could fall.

Lev put another cookie into his mouth, he really did let himself go, he gained so much weight and he's still gaining with every bite of food that he shoves into his mouth, he knows that he's getting way too fat and yet he just can't get himself to stop eating, and even though he knows he really should, he just keeps eating every piece of food in the house, and he just keeps asking Alisa to make more for him, it's honestly quite pathetic.

Lev had always felt inferior to Alisa, and not just because she looks way better than he ever will, but because she has always been more likeable than him, while Lev has always been a loud and obnoxious person even at a young age, Alisa has always been calm and easy to talk to, which resulted in people liking her way more than they would ever like her little brother, that's probably one of the reasons Yaku ended up falling for her instead of Lev.

Speaking of Alisa, why hasn't she said anything about it yet? She must be worried about her little brother because of his rapidly increasing weight, he understood why she kept baking for him but he doesn't understand why she hasn't talked to him about it yet, he thinks that it might be because she doesn't want to accidentally hurt his feelings, but Lev honestly doesn't cares, he's honesty happy she hasn't pointed it out to him yet, it would be so embarrassing.

But there had been one person that had ended up making a comment about it, and it was none other than the person Lev had fallen in love with.

It was around the fourth week of summer break, it was also around the time when Lev's new eating habits were becoming worse and worse by the day and his weight gain started becoming quite obvious, anyone that laid eyes on him could clearly see that Lev had been eating way more then he should, especially those who knew him before his weight gain started getting so out of hand.

Yaku had decided to visit him and Alisa out of the blue one day, well not really the both of them he had only come to see Alisa, but Lev had been there too.

Yaku had brought a small red box with a white ribbon on it with him, which had obviously been a gift for Alisa, Lev doubts that Yaku ever give him a gift like that, especially know that he's gotten so fat and undesirable.

When Yaku was giving the box to Alisa his cheeks had been bright red the whole time, he looked so cute Lev just couldn't tear his eyes away from him, even if the sight in front of him was making his heart crack.

Alisa carefully opened the small box and saw what's inside of it her face instantly lit up, inside the box were small homemade heart shaped milk chocolates, and milk chocolate just so happened to be both Lev's and Alisa's favorite type of chocolate.

"Aww, Yaku made chocolate for Alisa, how romantic!" Lev said in his usual perky tone of voice as he looked down at the heart shaped chocolate, it broke his heart just having to look at them. "Can I have one?" He asked his older sister, his voice sounding just a tad bit desperate.

"Sure!" Alisa said cheerfully as she grabbed one of the chocolates out of the box with her slender fingers and gave it to her little brother and also put one into her own mouth.

As soon as Lev had put the chocolate in his mouth his eyes immediately lit up, the chocolate tasted absolutely amazing, it was obviously of very high quality, which wasn't all that surprising seeing how Yaku would never give Alisa anything other than the best of the best.

The entire time Lev had been eating the chocolate it almost felt like Yaku had given them to him instead of Alisa, he didn't want that feeling to go away, he desperately needed to feel it. "They taste so good! Can I have another one?" He asked his sister immediately after he finished eating the one she had given to him just a few seconds ago.

Alisa let out a small and endearing laugh. "No, if you eat anymore you won't have any room left for dinner." She smiled sweetly at him as she said that, yet for some reason he couldn't help but think that wasn't the real reason she wouldn't give him anymore, as he thought that Lev couldn't help but look down at his round belly for a few seconds, his clothes were way too tight, and you could clearly see he had gained weight.

He felt horrible just looking at himself. It made him want to eat.

"I always have room for dinner!" He said as he tried to sound as cheerful as possible, hoping that what he said would be enough to convince his sister to give him another one of the chocolates, not realizing that what he just said made him sound like a fat, gluttonous pig.

He immediately froze up as his mind went into a state of panic after he realized what he had just said, he didn't know what to do, he didn't want them to think of him as some sort of pig that would be ready to devour anything and everything at any time, a pig that was never full no matter how much he ate, even if it was nothing but the truth.

Lev didn't know what to say after he had said that, he was panicking too much and he could hardly think straight as he tried to think up what to say as to not make it sound like he is a fat disgusting, gluttonous pig, but before Lev could even get a word out Yaku had decided to start talking.

"I can see that." Yaku laughed a little after he said that as he looked at Lev's round belly. Had Yaku really just said that to him? Lev could feel a massive wave of sadness wash over him the moment he had heard Yaku say those painful words.

Ever since Lev had started gaining weight no one had pointed it out to him, not even his own sister, but now Yaku had randomly shown up one day and decided to suddenly say something about it, he had even laughed about it, it made Lev want to curl up into a ball and just cry.

"Why don't you join us for dinner today?" Alisa asked with a bright smile on her face. "I'm making lasagna today, I am sure you'll love it."

Lev really didn't want Yaku to eat dinner with them, not because he didn't like hanging out with Yaku or anything like that, Lev treasures every seconds he gets to spend around Yaku, it's just that he doesn't want to eat when the person he has a crush on is around, he doesn't want Yaku to see him shoving food in his mouth like he hasn't eaten in days, Yaku would surely be disgusted by him if he hadn't been already.

But unfortunately for Lev, Yaku did end up having dinner with him and his sister, honestly he should've known that his upperclassmen would never refuse any of Alisa's offer.

During their dinner Lev had tried his hardest not to overeat like a pig while Yaku was talking with his sister, but the urge to eat every last bite of the lasagna that Alisa had made was becoming stronger by the second, Lev just couldn't stand watching Yaku continuously flirt with Alisa and not being able to make himself feel any better about the situation, so sadly he did eventually end up giving in.

While Lev was stuffing his face full of food Yaku would occasionally stop looking at Alisa to glance over at Lev with a unreadable expression on his face, which Lev assumed had been disgust, but Alisa had been the complete opposite, she didn't look over at him at all, not even once, you see Lev has always been a incredibly messy eater, so over the years she had gotten quite used to her brother eating like that, so she just continued to calmly eat her own serving without paying any attention to Lev.

Immediately after Lev had eaten the entire serving of lasagna that had been on his plate, he reached out to put some more onto his plate with the speed of light, and as soon as he did, he immediately started eating again, it's a good thing Alisa had made so much lasagna or else there certainly wouldn't be enough for the three of them, but unfortunately for Lev that meant he gets to eat as much food as he wanted.

"Maybe you should slow down a little." Lev could hear Yaku say to him.

Lev wanted to tell Yaku that he can't, that he isn't strong enough to resist the urge to stuff himself until he can't move, that no matter how hard he tries he just can't stop eating, he wants to tell Yaki about everything, but he can't, Yaku would just think that he's pathetic and disgusting.

With a lot of effort Lev was able to stop eating for a moment and look over at Yaku with the biggest fake smile he was able to put on. "I can't help it, Alisa's cooking is just so good!" He said in the most convincing excited tone he could put on at that moment.

Alisa immediately looked over at them having heard the compliment her younger brother had just given her. "I'm glad you like it." She said with the most beautiful smile on her face that captivated the small male that was sitting next to her.

Alisa is such a beautiful woman, everything about her is wonderful, she's not at all like her younger brother, Alisa is a tall and slender woman with a very nice body and a beautiful face, everyone who has ever laid eyes on her thinks she's absolutely gorgeous.

But Lev is the complete opposite of his sister, Lev is fat and unattractive most people that look at him think he's ugly, despite being siblings they don't look like each other at all, at least not anymore, it made him sad just thinking about how much more beautiful his sister is compared to him, and that feeling of sadness just kept getting worse every time he remembered just how much they used to look like each other.

Lev looked down at his belly with sad eyes, he just wanted it all to go away, he just wanted to tear all of the fat straight of off his body, he wanted the numbers on the scale to start decreasing instead of constantly increasing, he just wanted to look like his old self again, not like the disgusting blob of fat that he has become.

Lev quickly looked back up at Alisa as he tried to sound as happy as he possibly could despite the negative thoughts running through his mind. "I could never dislike anything you make!" After he said that he immediately went back to devouring the rest of his food with immense speed, it was honestly a surprise that he hasn't choked on his food yet.

When Lev was done eating his second serving of lasagna Yaku and Alisa had just finished eating their first, there had still been a bit of lasagna left which Lev really wanted to eat, but he reluctantly decided against it, he didn't want to eat anymore food in front of Yaku, he didn't want the older boy staring at him in disgust any longer.

Lev had waited for what felt like hours for Yaku and Alisa to finally finish eating the rest of their lasagna, he just couldn't stand looking at them peacefully talking to each other like he wasn't even there, he could feel a pang of sadness in his heart every time he saw Yaku's smile grow bigger the longer he was talking with Alisa, and it was the same with her, every time she looked into his eyes her smile grew bigger, they truly were in love.

Lev knows he should be happy for them, he knows he should be happy that the two people he cares for most are so happy together, but even though he desperately tries to be, he just can't get himself to be happy about it.

Lev loves Yaku, he cares more about him than he ever thought he would end up doing, but he also loves Alisa a lot and he just wants the both of them to be happy, but Lev himself also wants to be happy too, he wants to talk to Yaku just like Alisa does, he wants to make Yaku smile by just being around him, and he also wants to receive gifts from Yaku, but more than anything he wants Yaku to love him like he loves Alisa, but he knows that would never happen.

Lev knows he never had a chance with Yaku ever since Yaku had seen his sister for the first time, he could see in Yaku's eyes that it had been love at first sight, and at that moment Lev's whole world shattered as he realized that he and Yaku would never be together.

But that didn't mean Lev didn't still try his hardest to make Yaku fall for him while he tried to spend as much time with him as possible, because even if he knew that there was hardly even a chance of it ever happening Lev could never get himself to stop trying.

But now that he had gained so much weight Lev had ended up completely giving up on trying to make Yaku fall in love with him, it was clear he would only ever love Alisa, and with how fat and ugly Lev had become there is no way Yaku would ever even want to think about dating him, because who would ever want to date such a unattractive and undesirable fat pig?

After what felt like an eternity Yaku and Alisa had finally finished eating their food and Alisa started bringing all of the plates pans and silverware to the kitchen, Yaku had offered to help her clean up, but Alisa had insisted that he didn't have to help, saying that he was their guest and that he should just let her handle it while she placed the dishes in the dishwasher.

After she was done putting all of the dishes into the dishwasher and had finished cleaning the table, Alisa had tried to get Yaku to eat dessert with them as well, which he luckily refuse.

Yaku had said something along the lines of having to help his mother with chores so he couldn't stay any longer then he already had, but that didn't stop Alisa from trying to persuade him to stay just a little bit longer, but in the end not even Alisa could stop Yaku from leaving to help his mother.

But before he left Yaku had decided to say one last thing to Lev.

"You know if you're going to keep eating like that we'll have to start using you as the ball when practice starts again." Yaku said jokingly to him as he playfully poked at Lev's belly causing it to jiggle, Lev didn't know what to say, this was the second time Yaku had pointed it out to him,though he couldn't blame him for doing so, after all Lev was always making fun of the smaller males height.

Lev just let out a small awkward sounding laugh, he didn't know what else to do or say, but luckily for him he didn't have to say anything. "It was nice having you over for dinner today, I hope you'll come to visit us again soon!" Alisa said happily to a brightly blushing Yaku.

"Don't worry, I'll come to visit again very soon." He said as he walked through the door and waved Lev and Alisa goodbye, and Lev and Alisa did the same until he was completely out of their sight, and for the rest of the day Lev couldn't stop thinking about the things that Yaku had said to him.

That night Lev had ended up stuffing himself so much he passed out.

And no matter how hard he tried to, Lev has yet to forget even a single detail about what had transpired on that horrible day, after that day Lev had tried his absolute hardest to eat less and try to lose some weight, even if just a little, but in the end his efforts ended in failure as he couldn't resist the urge to stuff himself with every piece of food he could get his fat hands on, which had unfortunately resulted in him gaining even more weight.

Yaku had visited them two weeks ago, in the time between then and now Lev must have gotten even heavier, so when he has to go back to school and Yaku sees him again he will probably be very shocked to see just how quickly Lev had ended up gaining even more weight since the last time Yaku had seen him, and Yaku will most likely end up making fun of him for it, but not that Lev could blame him for doing so.

Lev put another sugar cookie into his mouth and ate it with no effort despite the fact that he had already eaten a lot, he was about to grab another cookie from the box but when he did he saw that there weren't any more of them left, he had been so deep in thought that he had ended up eating them all without even realizing he did, and yet he still wanted to eat more, the more he thought about Yaku and Alisa the more it made Lev want to eat.

But he had eaten so much today already, he ate a ginormous chocolate cake, an entire cookie jar filled with sugar cookies, for breakfast he had seven big fluffy pancakes which Alisa had baked for him, for lunch he had four cheese sandwiches and for dinner his sister had ordered the both of them fast food because she came home late and didn't have time to cook anything, she had ordered four cheeseburgers, which he ate three off, two hamburgers which they both had one off and a ginormous pizza which he ate almost entirely by himself.

It doesn't help either that he had started eating that amount almost everyday since the summer had begun.

Lev quietly put the cookie jar back in the cabinet where he had found it and slowly tried to walk over towards the big couch that was standing in the living room, but the moment he took even one step forward he suddenly felt an immense amount of pain around his waist.

Lev looked down to see what the cause of the sudden pain was, but when he looked down all he could see was his big bloated belly covering most of his vision, and unsurprisingly a big part of it was poking out from under his shirt, honestly he should have know that the shirt wasn't going to fit him for very long, most of his clothes only fit for a little while before he has to replace them because he had already outgrown them, Lev had gone up several sizes since the summer had begun.

He tried to get his belly out of the way to try and see what was wrong, but it was no use, his belly was just way too big, he tried to walk over to the couch, slowly to make sure that he didn't end up accidentally hurting himself, but that plan didn't end up working because no matter what he did it still ended up hurting with even the slightest bit of movement.

When Lev had finally reached the couch he let out a big sigh of relief as he let himself fall down onto it and it let out a loud creaking sound, and soon as Lev was seated comfortably on the couch all of the pain he had been feeling suddenly vanished as he could feel his belly spill out over his lap, Lev didn't even have to look down to see what had happened, he instantly knew that he had ended up popping a button.

'So that's why it was hurting so much.' Lev thought to himself as he could feel his face turn a shade of bright red, his pants had been so tight that it caused his waistband to start digging painfully into his waist.

To say Lev's embarrassed was an understatement, it wasn't like Lev hadn't popped a button before but that didn't make it any less embarrassing, he's just relieved that this time there had been no one around to see it happen, the last time he had popped open a button was when he and his friends went to an all you can eat buffet.

This was around the time that he just started gaining weight, he had been pretty upset that day because he had failed a test that he had studied really hard for, and to top it all of he had spend the entirety of practise around Yaku, which usually wasn't a bad thing if it wasn't for Yaku constantly talking about Alisa, so naturally he had ended up eating so much food that it had been too much for his pants to handle.

And despite there being no one around to see what had just happened Lev still tried to button his pants back up as fast as he possibly could, which was quite difficult because his massive belly kept getting in the way, so he quickly realized that trying to button them up when he's sitting down wouldn't work so he quickly stood up from where he was sitting in hopes that would help him button up his pants, and tried again.

But it was no use, no matter how hard and how much he tried, Lev still couldn't get them to button back up again.

Lev let out a loud sigh of defeat and sat back down on the couch which creaked under his weight, 'This is what I get for letting myself go,' He thought to himself as he grabbed a big chunk of his belly fat. 'If I didn't eat so much none of this would be happening, I wouldn't be having this kind of trouble.' And maybe, just maybe Yaku would start to actually like him.

Lev was now on the verge of tears, why couldn't he just control himself every time he felt like eating? Why couldn't he just stop himself from gaining weight like a disgusting overweight pig!? Because if he could control himself then maybe he wouldn't be feeling so miserable.

Lev wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to just let out all of the emotions that have been bottling up inside of him, but he couldn't, because he didn't want to risk accidentally waking up his sister, he didn't want to be more of a burden to her then he already is, she had already done so much for him so the least he could do was allow her to sleep peacefully without any worry.

He stood up from where he had been sitting and slowly walked towards the hall where the staircase that leads to the upstairs were located as he tried to navigate his way through the dark abyss, which wasn't that much of a challenge since he knows the layout of his house like the back of his head, which isn't surprising seeing that he has lived there for almost his entire life.

He had almost reached the stairs that would always end up leaving him panting and out of breath, he was about to climb them to go to his room but as soon as he walked past the full body mirror that's always hanging on one of the walls in the hallway, he immediately stopped walking.

Ever since Lev had first started noticing the weight he had been gaining, he desperately avoided looking into mirrors as much as possible at any cost, he didn't want to see how he looked, he didn't want to see just how much of a ugly pig he had become, and although avoiding all the mirrors was quite hard since his house is filled to the brink with mirrors, he still did quite a good job avoiding them for most part.

But for some reason he couldn't help but want to look at himself right now.

Lev knows he shouldn't, he knows it will only end up making him feel even worse about himself and his appearance, but today he just can't help himself from wanting to look at his disgusting body.

He quickly yet hesitantly turned on the lights in the hallways, the sudden burst of light made his eyes hurt for a few seconds but as soon as his eyes had adjusted to the bright light he immediately looked at himself in the mirror, and as soon as he did he felt like shattering the mirror as he could feel hot tears starting to fall from his green eyes.

He looked absolutely horrible, his hair was an uncombed mess, he had dark circles under his sad eyes which used to be filled with nothing but happiness, he had a massive double chin which only gets bigger when he looks down, and he looked ginormous, he looked even bigger than he thought he looked, Lev knew that he had gained a lot of weight but he didn't think that it had ended up being that much.

The only word that Lev could think of at that moment to describe his appearance is disgusting, absolutely disgusting.

He looked absolutely disgusting, like a fat slob who wasn't good at anything but eating, who couldn't do anything but shove food down his throat and never stop gaining weight, Lev had been right, the moment he saw himself in the mirror he couldn't stop thinking terrible things about himself.

The longer he looked at himself in the mirror the more horrible thoughts made their way into his head, which only made Lev cry even more, no matter how hard he tried to get them to stop falling.

He just couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't take feeling all of the painful feelings constantly, he couldn't take feeling and looking like a disgusting pig and he couldn't take not being able to stop himself from becoming even more disgusting.

He quickly ran up the stairs, not caring about how much noise he was making nor about how out of breath it was making him, all he cared about was making it to his room as fast as possible, which wasn't actually fast at all, and as soon as he reached his room he immediately fell onto his bed, which just like the couch creaked under his massive amount of weight.

Without even stopping to catch his breath Lev immediately buried himself tightly in his blankets as he cried his eyes out into his soft and now slightly wet pillow, he was completely out of breath and it was hard to breath, he wasn't even entirely sure if it's because of his crying or because he had ran towards his room, but he couldn't get himself to care.

"I'm so fat and ugly." Lev whispered softly to himself through his tears as he hiccuped into his pillow. 'Why? Why am I doing this to myself? Why can't I just stop?' He thought as he just started to cry louder.

The more he thought about how ugly he is, the worse his crying became, the only thing he could think about besides how ugly he is, is his sister and how he hopes that she doesn't end up hearing him crying in his room all alone, he doesn't want to make her worried about him, then again she's probably already worried about him because of his fastly increasing weight.

The more Lev cried the more tired it ended up making him, he wanted to sleep, he wanted to temporarily forget about everything that's been happening, but he couldn't, because every time he tried to sleep his thoughts would end up keeping him up all night long, Lev just couldn't stop thinking about Yaku and the rest of his team and what they would think when they see him again.

Every time he thought about it it's enough to make him completely break down.

Lev tried to find the most comfortable position to try and fall asleep in, but every time he moved even just a little his bed would creak loudly, in the beginning he had blamed it on the bed being made out of wood and being old, but now he clearly knew it was because of his weight, and he hated it, the thought of being so heavy that he made furniture make such a sound filled him with sadness, every time it creaked even a bit it reminded him of how fat he is.

He tried to ignore the horrible thoughts as best as he could but no matter how much he turned and no matter how hard he tried Lev just couldn't fall asleep, and he also just couldn't get his tears to stop falling, Lev just knows that tomorrow, and all the days that come after that are going to end up being long and painful.