Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all the characters, trademarks etc. belong to Rumiko Takahashi and to their other rightful owners. To sum it up: I don't own Ranma

"Spoken"

-Thought-

Birthday Panic

The birthday

Akane huffed at the boy who was walking on the fence, Ranma had been insufferably happy the whole week with no apparent reason… or one that he felt like sharing anyway. She wanted to maul the boy because her own day had been definitely bad with Kuno hounding him, proclaiming his love and swearing to free her from the vile clutches of her enslaver. Not to mention the tacky gifts the self proclaimed Samurai legend had given her as proofs of his love and all that. Akane shuddered, what kind of an insane psychopath would give a statue of himself to someone so they could 'lovingly embrace the image of his manly bosom' or some such.

The current object of her ire was blissfully unaware what was going through the mind of his fiancée and was actually just short of humming out loud. The fathers hadn't pestered him after he he'd told them that he'd gotten a 'little something' for Akane, from which the duo drew a conclusion that he'd bought the rings… Ranma didn't bother to correct them. He had been busy reading a training manual for dogs and had done a few internet searches to see if there were any neat martial arts moves that could be taught to animals, an idea he'd gotten from reading manga about Ninjas that had a clan who specialized into using dogs in combat.

Things were really looking up for him, even if just once. It had been a stroke of luck that he'd seen Akane adoring the puppies and certainly getting her a dog was a good idea. For one it would, when fully grown and properly trained, keep cats off the premises and hopefully curb Shampoo's habit of sneaking into his bath in cat form. And housebreaking the pup would hopefully even out Akane's temper ever so slightly. Not to mention that she would certainly take the dog into bed with her driving 'P-chan' into insane jealousy and hopefully get him tossed out from the room. Ranma snickered a little as he imagined Ryoga's reaction. -"Ranma! This is all your fault, prepare to die!" Hah… this time it really is my fault. Maybe he'll get so mad that he'll blow his own cover by screaming something like "You got me tossed out from Akane's bed!" or something.-

He nearly lost his balance when Akane hit the fence with her schoolbag before growling. "Just what are you so damn happy about? Have a new fiancée somewhere or what?" The boy just jumped down from the fence and patted Akane's cheek before saying "There, there... you will find soon enough." and hopping back up to the fence leaving Akane effectively stunned. Whistling tunelessly Ranma took a few steps, jumped back to the ground with a back flip and asked. "You coming, or are you going to stand there like an idiot?" That shook Akane from her shock and with a yell she began to chase her fiancé… the chase didn't end until they arrived at the Tendo house, at which point the dark haired girl had already forgotten why she was chasing Ranma in the first place.

-----

The next morning Ranma noticed something odd, he hadn't been ousted from bed by his father. Reason for this became apparent as he made his way downstairs to find that a stout pole had been hammered into the yard and a forlorn looking panda had been chained to the pole. The pigtailed boy burst out laughing at the sight, completely ignoring the waving signs that said 'Help!' and 'Ingrate son!'. Akane, who came to inspect the cause for such bellowing laughter, couldn't help but join in the laughing… much to Genma's dismay.

During breakfast Akane was getting somewhat jittery, no one mentioned her birthday but it was obvious to everyone that she really wanted Ranma to wish her happy birthday… well obvious to everyone other than the said boy who was busy stuffing his face and throwing bamboo stalks at his father who was growled angrily as he saw the 'ingrate son' feasting while he had only bamboo to chew. Ranma, finally, noticed that something was wrong with Akane and looked up from his rice bowl making the young girl ask out. "Ranma… do you know what day today is?"

The black haired boy blinked and said "Sunday?" before again focusing on his rice, mostly to hide his smile from seeing the stunned look on Akane's face. After a few mouthfuls of rice he added. "Lessee it's the 21st, there is a hockey tournament of sorts going aaand… umm it's a nice day?" Nabiki smirked at that, she smelled yen to be made by selling information about the day to Ranma… or maybe not as the said boy added. "And happy birthday by the way… though I still don't get what the big deal is."

Akane beamed and Nabiki, who felt cheated because out of her yen, decided to tease them slightly. She tapped her chin and thoughtfully said. "Soo… Ranma-kun… I take it you got your fiancée something really nice for a present." She almost fell down face first when Ranma didn't blush, stutter denials or launch into his 'uncute tomboy' speech. Instead the boy just smiled and said "Maybe…" before continuing to stuff his face.

-----

Several hours later Ranma-chan was roof hopping with a small bundle in his hands and a huge bag of puppy food, along with other necessary things like chewtoys, water bowls and all that stuffed into the large backpack he was carrying. He was in a good mood since the pup seemed to be enjoying the high route he had taken… There were other things too, like say the fact that Ryoga was not likely to find his way back since 'P-chan' had gotten lost only yesterday when he'd heard that Akane's birthday was coming up. Ranma snickered silently as he talked to the bundle in his arms. "You grow up and I'll teach you to hunt pigs…" A small "Woof" came from the bundle almost as if the dog had understood him.

When Kasumi called for lunch, which would also double as Akane's birthday meal, Ranma was putting finishing touches on his purchase. The puppy had initially objected against the gift wrapping but had, after some chiding from Ranma, accepted the inevitable and gotten a red ribbon tied around its waist. Looking at his handiwork the boy then said "Stay." before slipping into the Umi-sen-ken and going about to see if Akane was already downstairs. He came back momentarily and just in time to stop the pup from destroying the ribbon. With a snicker he picked the thing up and said "Well little guy, it's time you get to meet your owner."

They certainly made an entrance… first Ranma entered the room and turned at the door and said "Come on…" only to say that again after taking few steps into the room and making everyone wonder who he was talking to. When the puppy ambled into view Akane wasn't the only one to squeal "Kawaii". Ranma just played with his pigtail for a moment before nudging the dog towards Akane and saying "Go on you… you know you are just itching for a good petting.". He then stopped playing with his hair and said somewhat lamely. "Err happy birthday and such…"

There was a moment of stunned silence after which Ranma was subjected to a hundred and one questions regarding the puppy and whatnot. These questions were overshadowed by Soun who began to yell "Aaaah Ranma-kun… where are the rings… the rings!" Any answer was drowned in another wail. "Waaaah… my baby girl didn't get an engagement ring from her fiancé… the plan didn't work… WAAAAH!" With that he grabbed a nearby sake bottle and retreated to lament the failure of another plan and loss of the yen involved… soon enough he was sobbing drunkenly with a chained panda that seemed to be drinking sake as well.

Back inside, Ranma was trying to avoid the subject of rings and such without much success. Finally he almost growled "Those two heard Kasumi tell me about Akane's birthday so they promised to 'help' me pick a good present… And surprise, surprise they set me up with this jewellery store and everything. Luckily I knew the owner so she didn't flip out or anything when I told her I wasn't going to buy Akane any ring just yet."

Ranma went on about how he'd stopped a mugging of the owner's grandson until he noticed that both his mother and Kasumi were smiling… beaming actually, and Nabiki had a sly look on her face. He blinked as his voice faltered and Nabiki took the opportunity to jibe him. "Soo… Ranma-kun…" The boy began to grow nervous at that, whenever Nabiki used the 'kun' suffix it meant that she was up to something. He nearly swallowed his tongue when his prospective sister-in-law continued. "So you are going to get Akane a ring later then hmmm?"

His bewildered "Wha… What?" were answered with Nabiki's cool "Well Ranma-kun you said, and I quote 'I told her I wasn't going to buy Akane any ring just yet'". The pigtailed boy quickly whipped his head around towards Akane, as if expecting to be brutally mutilated. He wasn't, as the girl in question was currently sporting an unhealthy shade of crimson and was finding the puppy's furry head very interesting.

Any denials from his part were shot down when Nabiki pulled a recorder from her pocket and showed it to the boy who then sat down in a huff and tried one more time with a lame "I'm not getting married…" which caused a slight frown on his mother's face. Seeing this, the boy quickly added a quiet. "We're… uh I'm too young anyway."

Luckily Kasumi came to the rescue, before the teasing would force either of the teenagers to lash out at the other, as she chirped her agreement to what Ranma had said about them being too young and then started to serve the feast. It didn't take long for the awkwardness to pass, Ranma for one wasn't known to be shy when there was food to be had and Akane was distracted soon enough by the puppy that had taken residence in her lap.

As the meal progressed Nabiki suddenly asked. "So what's his name?" To which the boy only shrugged and turned to look at Akane expectantly. She blushed slightly at the sudden scrutiny of everyone in the table while trying to muster her thoughts… suddenly se brightened and said. "D-chan!" Everyone sweat dropped, with the notable exception of Ranma who only snickered and then quickly explained when Akane's facial features darkened.

"Well… it's kind of fitting I suppose. He really has a name already, for the official registry, competitions and all that. Anyway his full and official name is David Douillet… you know since he is of a French breed and from the fourth patch of puppies from his mother so the guy said it should be a name that starts with D and err… that Douillet guy is a Frenchman who won the heavyweight Olympic gold in Judo twice." All the Tendo sisters rolled their eyes at this… how typical Ranma, always about the martial arts.

The next thing that came up was when Kasumi asked. "Oh my… what does D-chan eat? Should I prepare something special?" Ranma just smacked his forehead before looking at D-chan apologetically before saying. "Jeez sorry buddy… You must be pretty steamed from watching us all eat and all that. Let me just go grab your chow from upstairs ok?" With that he dashed upstairs and returned momentarily with the backpack that held all the stuff he'd gotten for the puppy.

Soon enough D-chan was happily munching away at his puppy food while the others were discussing training the puppy and whatever else, with Nabiki being curious about competitions and such and Akane giddy at the prospect of having company on her morning runs. What happened was only natural as Ranma was just saying "So the first thing we need to do is housebreak him…" only to have a rag handed to him as Kasumi silently pointed at the small puddle that had formed between the animal's legs. Ranma frowned and then handed the rag to Akane who tossed it back as the two began to argue who should clean after the puppy.

The three other women present just exchanged glances as they listened to the almost playful argument, so unlike their usual ones that ended with Ranma being pounded, Akane in tears or both. Nabiki couldn't resist poking a little more fun and slyly commented "Oh the joys of parenthood…" before snickering audibly as Akane went beet red and Ranma wordlessly began to clean up the mess while grumbling something about 'money grubbing mercenaries' under his breath.

Still, there were no fathers yelling about the union of the houses as one of them was currently chained into the backyard with the other already deep into his second bottle of sake and too busy scheming with the drunken panda. As such neither of the teenagers felt the need to start a fight to deny everything as there was no threat of instant wedding looming over them.

Soon after Ranma had cleaned up the leakage from the floor he was more than surprised when Kasumi slammed a large cake that said 'Happy Birthday Akane & Ranma' to the table. He glanced around the table accusingly until his eyes caught Akane who just smiled sheepishly and said "Surprise!" before nodding towards her eldest sister and Nodoka as if to indicate that it was their idea. Ranma tensed, expecting a horde of cats to come tearing out of nowhere and unconsciously crept closer to the newly purchased cat repelling unit, and as such also closer to Akane.

Three older females present snickered slightly at him but let it slide because of the occasion, although Nabiki was tempted to take pictures. Soon enough Ranma began to relax as no cats were to be seen and actually managed to enjoy the cake… not to mention the gifts afterwards.

As for Akane… she got, in addition to D-chan, a book labelled 'Cooking in 10 E-Z steps' from Nabiki. A finely crafted bokken and a book labelled 'Advanced Kenjutsu' from Nodoka, the book also had a short message that said 'To help you keep Ranma in line'. Akane giggled slightly at the message and flashed Nodoka a happy smile while showing the message to her sisters who also giggled and cast a few mischievous glances at the, now wary, boy. Other than that she got a new dress from Kasumi and, much to her ire, a set of maternity clothes from her father.

Ranma on the other hand received a book from his mother, this one labelled as 'How to teach martial arts efficiently' and had a hand written suggestion on the first page that he use test out the book on a single subject… the implication was clear even to Ranma. He also got a new set of clothes from Kasumi, incidentally they matched the dress Akane had gotten… another clear implication that made Ranma think rather unkind things about certain busybodies.

There was also a thick envelope from Nabiki, who smirked while handling it and promised not to sell anyone the recording she'd gotten earlier… she also added that the gift was really for both of them and that if they needed any further help they would have to pay for it. This made both Akane and Ranma rather curious as to the contents of the envelope which turned to be a business plan for the dojo with class schedules, advertising and bookkeeping all neatly listed… even better, the plan had been made specifically for them as all the classes were either in the morning, evening or on weekends.

The boy snickered as he saw the advertisements, Nabiki had really outdone herself with the photoeditor, as the adds featured both of his forms and Akane all doing various martial art exercises. He then smirked as he noticed something else too. With a smile he handed the papers to Akane while asking. "So you got an A+ from that huh? Must mean that it'll work… thanks Nabiki." The notion was chorused by Akane who quickly browsed through the plan before giving her own gift, another envelope, to Ranma who eagerly opened it.

He peered into the envelope, then at Akane and finally cast a sidelong glance at Kasumi and his mother before saying. "I'm going to scream if you whip out flags and fans and start to yell about joining the houses." Kasumi had the dignity to blush while Nodoka simply tried to look innocent as Ranma picked out another envelope from his pocket before handing it to Akane while saying. "Guess what's in there… A gift coupon for a certain clothing shop since I didn't know your size." Akane too cast a disbelieving glance at her eldest sister while Nabiki grinned like madman at the blushing Kasumi.

-----

It was around midnight and Ranma was rather nervous as he snuck into his fiancée's bedroom. He wasn't there to do anything perverted but explanation regarding that would probably fall on deaf ears should he be caught. He was there, in fact, to make sure D-chan was still alive and well as Akane tended to be rather 'active' during her sleep. Surprisingly she was sleeping peacefully with the puppy curled up in a ball on the pillow next to her, which was both good and bad. Good since it was unlikely that she would squish the poor animal in her sleep if it was on the pillow and bad as D-chan had noticed Ranma and had began wagging its tail, effectively whipping Akane's face with it and as a result waking the girl.

Ranma made a small 'Urk' sound when he noted that Akane was waking up, a sound that put her instincts on alert and in a flash she had brought her brand new bokken to bear. Ranma was backing away from the now alert girl while stuttering something incomprehensible as Akane all but growled. "Ranmaaaaa… you have less than five seconds to explain why you are in my bedroom in the middle of the night."

Ranma continued to stutter something about not being a hentai until he was saved by D-chan who let out a small "Woof" that helped the boy to regain his wits. He pointed at the dog and said. "I ah… came to… see if the dog was awake so it won't wet your bed or anything!" So engrossed was he on patting himself on the back for making up such a believable excuse that he nearly missed Akane handing him the pup and ushering him, at the bokken point, out of the door and to the yard where the dog quickly scampered around to find a suitable spot to relieve itself.

Akane watched as the dog went around the yard sniffing about and then poked her fiancé with the bokken and growled. "Now then… the real reason you were sneaking around in my room. I thought your mother had laid the manliness issue to rest so you wouldn't have to cling to me when she's visiting or anything."

The boy, while eyeing the wooden weapon nervously, chuckled slightly. "Eh… it's not that… honestly and I wasn't there to do anything perverted either!" The last part was supposed to come out defiantly but it sounded more like a plea as Ranma tried to distance himself from the blunt object that could at anytime crush into his skull. "Seriously I really came to check on D-chan because… well… remember that time when Happosai poked your sleep points and you spent the night on the roof? You totally trashed him in your sleep so I figured I'd check on the dog to see if it was still all right."

The girl narrowed her eyes, obviously debating whether to believe him or pound him flat with the bokken. Then her eyes wandered over to the puppy that was obviously enjoying itself on the yard causing her to relent. With a huff she shouldered her weapon and said "Fine baka… I'll believe you just this once because it might have been a good idea to bring the dog out… consider it another birthday present. But if I ever catch you sneaking in my room again I won't be as… lenient" The boy gulped at this as she continued. "Anyway it might be good idea to bring D-chan out once every night until he's housebroken and since you so enjoy lurking about in the dark you might as well wake us up every night after midnight for a quick… outing. And if I catch you even thinking about anything remotely perverted…" The rest of the threat faded into nothingness as she hefted the bokken slightly implying that results would be painful causing Ranma to grimace and curse his own softheartedness that had made him check if the damn mutt was still alive.

A/N:

David Douillet won the Olympic heavyweight gold medals in Judo at the Olympic games of 1996 and 2000