I lied!
I have to admit; I missed Miss Katey and writing about this Katlyn person isn't making me feel any better.
So, to fill up this empty spot that resides within my heart, I'm going to write about the rest of her High School years.
After Francois died and before she was married.
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I was released from that stupid purgatory after six more weeks, and turns out Brad was wrong about the kids at school being afraid of me.
In fact, they seemed more in awe of the fact that I had broken one of the Ten Commandments and committed one of the seven sins, wrath. I hadn't even thought of that until the first day back, and I knew exactly where I was going after school let out; church.
Being a devout Catholic like my family was, we went to confession as soon as we sinned. The rule for our family was, when you sin, you don't have to confess to your parents, but you had to confess to Father Brian or Father Daniel, whoever was there in the booth.
"You need to go where now?" Clair asked as she started up her Nova, whose tires had since been replaced by her mom and dad, instead of stealing Zach's sisters.
"The church; I have to go confess." I said, buckling myself.
"Why?"
"Because I broke the Ten Commandments: I murdered." I said, digging through my purse for my rosary beads.
"Oh my God, Katey. It was self preservation! We saw you!" She said, pulling out.
"Yeah, but I still killed him."
"I really don't think God's going to mind much. Psychopath Franc would have killed you had you not done that cool James Bond bit with the fake-out thing."
"Yes He will! I should have asked for one of the Father's to come to the hospital so I could tell him… oh I'm so dumb…"
"Katey…chill out. It's going to be fine! Father won't mind." She said, not using the pastor's name. She wasn't Catholic, but Methodist, so her church service was much more relaxed than mine, and addressed her pastor by first name; something that had shocked me the first time I had gone.
"I'll wait in the pews for you." She said, walking inside the building with me, not dipping her hand in the holy water and crossing herself as I did.
Even though she had attended mass with me plenty of times before, just as I did with her, my church still amazed her by the strictness of the dress code Sunday mornings and the one room with all the pews instead of a ton of smaller rooms with comfortable folding chairs and card tables with worn paper back bibles.
"Alright. But, wait, you should go back outside and call my mom; she might get worried if I'm not home soon." I said. She nodded and went back outside, and I waited in the line in front of the confessions booth.
The line of four people went by slowly, but eventually it was my turn.
"Hello Father." I said, as I sat down inside, closing the door behind me.
"Hello, Katey; is there something you would like to tell me today?" Father Daniel asked. I had always liked him best; he seemed so much like Santa Claus, minus the white hair and belly, that I couldn't resist always thinking of him as a second father
"Yes, Father. As you might have heard, I've broken one of the Ten Commandments…"
"Ah yes… I had heard about that. My daughter, unless Mr. Brock Freeman on Fox news left something out, I believe the Lord will forgive you." He said lightly.
I bowed my head.
"Father, that's the thing. There's more to it than what my friends covered for me. Yes, Father, they lied about what truly happened, so that I wouldn't be deemed a mad woman."
He stayed silent, waiting for me to continue. I bit my lip, debating on whether I should tell Father Daniel. After five seconds the words seemed to be trying to force their way out of my mouth, so I let them flow out, and I revealed the truth of what happened, telling my entire story about the coma.
By the end of it tears started at the corners of my eyes, blurring my vision until one fell.
Father Daniel was still silent, and I asked in a small voice "Father, is what happened to me sin? Because if it was, I would have done what I could to have prevented anything from happening… but I didn't know and…"
He cut me off saying softly "My daughter, what happened to you was traumatic, and it is by God's grace that you survived it all. You bore more than a fully grown man could bear, and I am sure than God will forgive you."
I hadn't realized it, but I had been holding my breath, waiting for his ruling. I let it out gratefully, and crossed myself.
"God bless you, child." He said through the screen, and I crossed myself.
"Amen." I said, and opened the door to the candle lit church.
Clair was waiting in one of the pews, kneeling on the bar that was lowered, and was staring up at the big crucifix that was hung from the ceiling over the alter.
I kneeled beside her and whispered "I was forgiven."
She didn't look over at me, but simply stared straight up at Jesus with her hands folded. She might have been in prayer, but even the Methodist's bow their heads when speaking with God, so I knew something had to have been amiss.
"Clair, are you alright?" I asked softly, and she finally turned her face to me, her eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to fall and smear her mascara.
"Do you…do you think that I can talk to your priest?" she asked, her voice cracking.
I hadn't ever heard Clair ask to confess before, and it shocked me. She went to church, but mostly because her parents forced her to, and she hadn't ever really taken religion seriously before; something that I had learned to accept.
"Of course you can… but… why? I thought you had said that if you needed to be forgiven by God you didn't have to ask someone who wasn't God."
"Don't ask…I just…want to…talk to him, okay?" she sniffed, and I nodded, pointing out the booth.
She stood up and walked swiftly past me, opening to the door to the booth, now that there was no more line.
I watched her go in, and then dropped to my knees, grabbing my rosary beads that I had put back in my purse.
I stared up at the giant cross, instead of bowing my head, and wondered what on earth Clair had to confess about.
Had she actually done a sin? Or was she worried about something? It had to have been big; otherwise she wouldn't have even considered going to confess to my priest.
I stayed there for a little bit before I remembered to make the sign of the cross and start in with the Apostle's Creed.
"I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord,
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead;
He ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; from thence He shall come to judge…" I was stopped by Clair coming and sitting in the pew behind me, looking as though nothing had happened. I stopped in the middle of my prayer and sat back next to her.
"Are you alright now?" I asked, and she did a half nod-shrug. I waited for an actual response, but after a few moments of waiting I got nothing more.
"Do you want to recite the rosary? That's what you're supposed to do after confession…"
"Um…is that supposed to help you be forgiven?" she asked tentatively.
"Of course it is! Now here, kneel next to me and hold onto the rosary beads, seeing as you don't have any." I said, kneeing back on the pew. She followed suit and kneeled beside me, grasping my jet beads which had previously belonged to my grandmother.
"Now you stay silent, and I'll recite aloud for you." I said, and began the Apostle's Creed, then 'Our Father', then got no further than the beginning of the second Hail Mary before the doors to the church opened.
I paused for a second, but kept going.
"Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus…"
"Katey, Clair…" said a familiar voice, but I held up a finger, stopping them.
"Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Amen." I finished before looking back up.
My stomach jittered when I saw who it was.
"Hey, Ethan." I said, smiling. "You need to come pray, too?" I patted the pew next to me.
"Nah, I came to tell you that your mom wants you back home." He said, sitting down anyway.
"Mom? But she knows I'm here…" I said, sitting back next to him, my stomach still going the Cha-Cha Slide.
He hadn't said anything else about that day in the hospital, and so neither had I, even though the next day Clair lagged behind and had questioned me mercilessly about why Ethan had come out looking so embarrassed.
I didn't know why I didn't want to tell anyone, but it might have had something to do with the fact that I wasn't sure if I had imagined it; seeing as at the time I was delirious with pain meds.
"Well, she said she needed you home…" He said, and I shrugged, standing up.
"I'll give you a ride home, Katey." Clair offered, standing up next to me.
"'Kay. See you tomorrow, Ethan." I said.
The ride home was silent, and the only words we exchanged were 'byes' and 'see you tomorrow.'
It wasn't that unusual for us not to speak, and I figured that the reason for her silence was because she was reflecting on her reason for going to confession, but when after she dropped me off and turned around, heading in the opposite direction to her house, I got curious.
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Well, first chapter back and already there's something going on.
Or is there?
Dun Dun Dun…
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