Prologue
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You know, there was a time when I never would have questioned humanity. A time when I thought we had every right to do as we pleased, consequences be damned. When my biggest worry outside of my job was whether or not I could find a good lay and some beer.
That damn Count D changed all of that. To him, I was more than some cop on his case, and I hated him for that. I hated his dresses, his sweet tooth, his stupid animals (especially that damn goat) – but most of all, I hated the fact that he was right. That damn, cocky smile of his – he was completely justified to wear it. He knew things we didn't, because he wasn't human anymore – he never was human.
But he showed me his proof – he proved that humans really do need a good kick in the ass. A couple of kicks, really. We aren't that great – though I don't think we're quite as horrible as D may have once thought we were. I really do think we may have changed his mind, at least a little. I think you really grew on him, Chris. I think I did, too. I know he grew on me.
Christ. I haven't gone on about that bastard in a while. He was a grade-A jerk most of the time, you know? But he could still grow on you. He had the strangest charm. Innate charisma, I think that's what people called it. The description fits him, too. Big, pretty words. It's something he'd say to annoy me. But he was still right in the end. Humanity is killing the Earth.
You know, Chris, I'm trying to talk to you, but are you even listening? Can you hear me? Shit. I was shot just a while ago, wasn't I? In the throat? Somewhere near there, I guess. And I don't have one of D's miracle plants to save me. Shit. I'd really rather not die. D will probably laugh at me. He's still watching, you know? From that stupid boat in the sky. With that damn goat. It'll probably laugh at me, too.
Shit, that's right. You can't hear me. C'mon now, kid. You can't cry. You're a big shot FBI agent now, right? You can't cry over some dumb cop. You can't go back to New York in tears. Look, I'm smiling. I think. You gotta smile, too. Look on the bright side of life or something. Cheer up. You never know how short life might be, especially in our line of work. Can't afford to spend that much time being sad.
You're going to make me cry, Chris. D will laugh at me more. Know it off, kid. Please?
Dammit, who's hitting the dimmer? Christ, I just wanted to talk to my brother one last time. Was that too much to ask? Why did I spend that last while talking about D, anyway? Talk about a waste of time. How did he lodge himself so deeply in my mind? My heart? Stupid bastard.
Hey, sorry kid, but I'm just too tired now to even think. You're a grown man, Chris. You don't need me. You can do this without me. Hell, maybe D will let me watch you from that boat of his. I bet he misses you. I know I'll miss you. This really sucks. Dying was not on the top of my "to-do" lists this morning, and here I am, bleeding all over some hospital bed. In front of you, no less. You must think I'm some kind of dork, huh? Dying over this scratch.
Well, kid, I really don't think I can keep my eyes open. You look like mom, did you know that? Sweet and innocent and sincere. A rare human – I bet that's why D liked you. I don't want to go yet, but I don't think I have a choice anymore. So, I guess I should stop delaying it. I guess this is . . .
. . . goodbye.
