Disclaimer: Not mine.
Why Soprano?
It was a typical day at the Caribbean Sea- the sun was high in the sky, the ever-changing sea currently reflected the deepest blue, etcetera. The waters were calm and the Black Pearl made its way to find the key to Davy Jones's heart calmly and methodically.
Calm and methodical was what Will Turner tried to convince himself to be as he swabbed the deck- but his countenance betrayed him, and only served to show to the world his extreme worry for Elizabeth Swan (she should be Elizabeth Turner by now, Will thought bitterly) and his constantly increasing annoyance for Jack Sparrow.
The latter was currently walking over to Will, not a care in the world, with a bottle of rum in hand. Admittedly, his expression was vigilant, always on the outlook for certain supernatural horrors, but what can a man do?
"Ah, Will, how goes the swabbing of the deck?" Jack asked. His face was relaxed, but his eyes were a different story- they spoke volumes of paranoia.
"Very inspiring, thank you, Jack," Will said scathingly.
"Good, good… go on then, my dear soprano," Jack said and turned to walk away.
"Now hold on just a minute!" Will almost yelled. "You make me go on some ridiculous quest for a key while Elizabeth's life is in danger, you make me swab the deck- and just what is it with that conviction of yours that I am a eunuch?"
Jack turned, a puzzled look on his face. "Now, boy, it's not just any key… and besides, someone has to swab that deck."
Will threw his arms up in the air exasperatedly. "Jack Sparrow, you are unbelievable!"
"I like to think so," Jack retorted, unfazed, absently taking note of the crew gathering around Will and himself. "And it's Captain Jack Sparrow-"
"Yes, yes, I know- you still didn't tell me, Captain, why do you think-"
"That you are castrated?" Jack said bluntly.
Will winced.
"Yes. That."
"Fine then," Jack sighed, "I bet you have been waiting a while to uncover this mysterious mystery which has been confounding most confoundedly, alluring most alluringly, and… such."
"I'm listening."
"The truth is…"
"Yes?" Will asked.
He really was curious to find out.
"…No particular reason. You just are," Jack shrugged and made as if to walk off.
"Come on! That's not- ARGH!"
Will fell to the deck in agony, clutching the violated area.
Jack blew on his knuckles and casually went over to Gibbs. After a moment of hesitation, he confided in the amused and slightly bewildered man:
"Nope. Definitely not a eunuch."
"Aye, but I gather that you are going to keep on calling him that, Cap'n?" Gibbs asked.
Jack shrugged, tilted his head to one side in exaggerated mock-thought, and said, "But of course!"
He took one more glance at Will and swigged the rest of his rum victoriously.
