Chapter Eighteen

Brief note - Wrote this chapter and then realised Severus's birthday is in January. I've decided to ignore that and go with creative license.

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Severus stood in the doorway, his black eyes searching her face for any sign that he was unwelcome.

"Hello Hermione."

Hermione crossed the room in an instant, and wrapped her arms around Severus, barely noticing as Tom left the hallway and headed back downstairs.

"I don't believe it. It's so good to see you."

Severus was thin in her arms, but he hugged her back fiercely, and she breathed in his familiar scent, his hair tickling her face.

At last Hermione drew back to look at him.

"What's happened?"

Severus dropped his bag beside the bed with a thump.

"How do you know something happened?"

"You wouldn't be here if it hadn't. We were supposed to meet next week to get robes for the Selwyn party."

Severus shrugged. "You're being marked in two days. I thought you might need the company."

"That's thoughtful of you."

There was little point asking Severus the real reason he'd arrived at her door. No doubt he would in due course. So instead Hermione suggested that they freshen up and go out for dinner. Severus hesitated, but gave in when Hermione mentioned that she hadn't eaten yet.

Sitting opposite him in the small restaurant halfway down Diagon Alley, Hermione marvelled at the changes the summer had wrought. The extra few inches of height suited Severus, but his cheeks were hollower too, and now he only picked at his food.

"You're not hungry."

"This is great, honestly…"

"What is it?"

Severus pushed his hair back and shook his head. "It's been hard money-wise this summer. I'm not used to this much food."

The honesty startled Hermione. The Severus she had known would have died before admitting that.

"We'll have to start building you up again then", she promised, waving over the waiter with the bill.

When they got back to the Leaky Cauldron, Tom leaned suspiciously across the bar as Hermione led Severus in the direction of the stairs.

"He stayin'?"

"Yes," Hermione said agreeably.

"That's an extra three sickles per night."

Severus stopped immediately, but Hermione nodded.

"Of course."

"Hermione," Severus hissed as they climbed the stairs. "I don't have that -"

"Shh."

When back in her room, she shut the door firmly and layered several enchantments over it.

"Of course you're seventeen already," Severus said, twirling his wand longingly.

"You aren't?"

"Not for another week."

That surprised Hermione; they rarely mentioned birthdays, and she hadn't known.

"My birthday is in September," she said truthfully.

"Hermione."

Severus was standing in the centre of the room. He had made no effort to remove his outer robes or shoes and looked awkward.

"Yes?"

"I can't stay here. I can't pay that kind of money."

"I'm covering it. It's fine."

Hermione began to pull the blankets off her bed, folding them neatly on the floor.

"But how are you affording it?

"I'm working."

"Working?"

"That's what I said."

Severus could hardly contain his astonishment, and Hermione wasn't sure whether she was more amused or offended.

"But you're a Black."

"So?"

"Blacks don't work."

"An extremely impractical decision on their part. I can't say it's done Regulus or Sirius any favours."

"But what are you doing?"

Hermione sighed. "I've not been washing pots downstairs for goodness sake. I'm helping translate some cursed documents for a bookshop in Knockturn Alley. I've also done some consultancy work for Gringotts."

"You've been consulted by Gringotts? What on earth would they have to consult you about?"

He wasn't offensive, merely incredulous.

"The future of the economy."

"Excuse me?"

"It's really boring, truly," Hermione said, stripping off the bedsheets until the mattress was bare.

She enjoyed working with the goblins. They were pragmatic creatures; never asked questions as long as the results remained good.

Severus settled for shaking his head, before finally sitting down in the little wooden chair in the corner of his room.

"What are you doing?"

Hermione raised her wand.

"Gemini."

The air shimmered, and then an instant later there were two single beds, crammed tightly together in the small space.

Hermione observed her handiwork with satisfaction, and was about to do the same with the blankets when there was a knock on the door. Severus stood immediately, and Hermione kept her wand in her hand as she opened it.

"Oh! Hello Tom, is everything alright?"

Tom peered into the room and caught sight of the two beds. He frowned, and shook his head.

"Can't do that Miss Black. Transfiguring any furniture is against the rules."

"But Severus needs somewhere to sleep," Hermione protested. "It's late!"

"Then you'll have to upgrade to a bigger room."

"How much would that be?"

Tom scratched his head. "At the moment we don't have any spare."

"So why did you bother mentioning it? Severus said irritably. "No, never mind, I'll find somewhere else to stay."

Hermione raised her hand, cutting off both men from speaking. "That's fine Tom. We'll stay here, and leave the furniture alone. That will be all thank you."

With a quick flick of her wand the bed was a single once more, and Tom nodded reluctantly.

"Very good Miss Black."

"I need to go," Severus said, when Tom had left again.

"You're staying here with me. We can take turns sleeping on the floor or something."

Severus let out a breath. "Fine."

Without another word he helped Hermione to remake the bed, and when that was finished he sat down beside her, not close enough to touch but close enough that she could feel his presence.

It was late at night, but the Leaky Cauldron was never silent. Downstairs they could hear the murmur of conversation, and the occasional shout and jangle of coins. From the street beyond the window voices drifted up; late night summer revellers heading home.

Hermione opened her bedside draw and pulled out a bottle and two glasses.

"Firewhiskey?"

Severus nodded appreciatively, and Hermione poured out the amber liquor. The glug of the bottle sounded loud in the room, as she handed Severus his glass and poured her own.

"Cheers, Sev."

They clinked glasses, and drank. Hermione sighed as the alcohol burned her throat, and leaned back more comfortably.

"It's warm in here," Severus said, stretching out his legs.

"Where do you live, again?"

"Cokeworth, near Sheffield. Even in the summer it's a lot colder up in the north."

He took another sip of firewhiskey, and some of the tension began to slowly ease from his shoulders.

"I'm from London, so this feels a bit like home to me," Hermione said.

"Don't you hate coming back here?"

Hermione thought about it. "No, I don't."

"Even though it reminds you of your family?"

At the word 'family', Hermione tightened her grip on the glass.

"That can be hard."

Severus, she thought, had no idea how hard.

Severus drained his glass, and then set it down on the windowsill. The bags under his eyes were more pronounced when the lamplight caught him in profile. For almost two minutes they sat without speaking, lulled by a strain of music caught on the air. Then Hermione turned to Severus.

"What happened Sev?"

"My mother told me to leave," he said, looking down. "My father was getting violent. The older I get the more he does it."

"He hurts you?"

"It's no big deal. Nothing that won't fade, but this summer was the worst so far. My mother told me to go, and come back when I could use magic. But I don't want to go back Hermione."

Severus was pale. Hermione reached out and gently touched his arm, and he shuddered.

"Show me."

"No. I can't."

"Severus."

At the sound of his name, Severus looked up and met her eyes. In them Hermione saw shame, and pain, but no trace of anger.

"It's alright. You don't have to."

"I can't fight back," Severus burst out suddenly. "If I fight back it makes him angrier, and then he takes it out on my mother. I'm a man, I should be able to stop him, but I'm too afraid of what he'll do to her when I'm gone."

Hermione laced her fingers through his. His hand was warm, and his grip tightened around hers as he took several deep breaths. His eyes were bright with unshed tears, and she pretended not to see.

"What he does, it's wrong, you know."

"I know."

They sat in silence for several moments, and then Hermione spoke again.

"I just want to heal you, just like we always do. That's all."

Severus didn't speak for almost a minute, and she thought he wasn't going to respond, until finally he untangled their fingers and nodded. Slowly he unbuttoned his robes, and shrugged them off onto the bed. Beneath he was wearing a faded black t-shirt and jeans and he hesitated before pulling the shirt awkwardly over his head. Then he turned, and Hermione schooled her expression to neutral.

"Okay, let's start at the top. This will be easier if you lie down"

Severus nodded, turning his face away as he lay down. The bruises were mostly to his ribs, but here and there was blotch where a stray punch had caught his sternum, and one on his collarbone. They were dark, and mottled. They'd been made with some force.

Hermione opened her bag and pulled out the bruise cream they used during training. She unscrewed the cap, and dipped her fingers in. Then she leaned forward and began to spread it over the bruises as gently as she possibly could. Severus hissed between his teeth, and she stopped.

"Sorry, I'll be gentler."

Hermione gathered up more cream in her fingers, and then moved down to his ribs. Severus was trembling with the effort not to pull away. It was warm in the room, but his skin goose-pimpled, and under the lamplight he was deathly pale.

When the last bruise was covered, Hermione screwed the lid back on the pot and went to wash her hands. She came back to find Severus sitting up, leaned against the wall, still shirtless to let the cream soak in and do its work. He wouldn't look at her.

"Hey," she said softly, coming to sit beside him. "It's okay."

Severus nodded tightly, and stared out of the window.

After a moment Hermione stood, and began to remove her robes, fumbling with the fiddly buttons. Severus said nothing as she draped them over the back of the chair, but spoke when she reached for her top.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing you something."

Hermione pulled her shirt over her head, grateful she was wearing a plain black bra, and waited. When people saw her shirtless it wasn't her breasts that their eyes were drawn to. It was the purple scar that stretched from shoulder to hip, neatly bisecting her torso.

Severus stared, his mouth open.

"Who did that?"

"A Death Eater."

"No."

It wasn't denial, but horror.

"Yes. And you've seen me fight. I should have stopped him, but I was younger then and I couldn't."

"But -"

Severus struggled off the bed. He reached out a hand and used two fingers to gently touch the scar, where it began on her shoulder. The air seemed to press in around them, and Hermione's skin prickled.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore."

They were standing very close, and both realised it at the same moment. It was as though static crackled between them, so electric that Hermione stepped backwards, and Severus dropped his hand.

"I've never seen it before."

"I glamour it if I'm wearing something where it could be seen."

Hermione picked up her shirt and pulled it back on, sitting down heavily on the bed. It tilted a moment later as Severus joined her.

Hermione spoke again. "I just want you to know that I know what it's like to feel weak. To feel helpless, to feel ashamed, to feel like you should have done better. But you save your mother by going through this Severus, and that's the bravest thing I've ever seen."

Severus spoke not another word, but brushed at his eyes self consciously. Then he turned to her.

"Are you sure you want to take the dark mark?"

The words were so unexpected that Hermione stilled. Severus looked at her, and she felt naked; exposed beneath his gaze.

"You don't want to take it," he said flatly.

"I -"

"Hermione, please. I can tell."

There wasn't much she could say.

"Why are you doing this? You've got so many secrets Hermione, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever unravel even half of them."

Hermione pressed her lips together, a lump in her throat. She wanted to let the tears fall, to lean against him and cry like she'd done before, but she couldn't. There was too much at stake.

"I'm doing this to make a better world Sev. And that's the only truth I can tell you, but isn't that the only one that really matters?"

Something that looked like understanding bloomed across Severus's face, but Hermione looked away before she saw too much.

"We should get some sleep. I'll take the first night on the floor while your bruises are still healing."

Severus protested, but Hermione was steadfast, and spread her robe over the floorboards; casting a cushioning charm that made it quite as comfortable as her bed. She undressed in the bathroom, and laid down in the dark, pulling a blanket over herself. She could just make out the dark shape of Severus in the bed, outlined by the moonlight streaming through the window.

"Hermione?" Severus said, his voice low, but reaching through the darkness.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"I didn't do anything."

"You're my best friend, and everyday I don't know what I'd do without you."

Hermione didn't reply, but stretched out a hand towards him in the dark. Halfway there she collided with his fingers, and realised that he was reaching too. Their fingers entwined, palm to palm, and for a moment they held hands tightly. Then they let go, and Hermione snuggled into her makeshift bed.

"I don't know what I'd do without you either Sev."

"I want you to know that I trust you," Severus said, so softly she almost didn't hear him.

"I trust you too."

"No, I don't mean it like that. I want you to know that I trust you. Whatever your secrets, no matter all the things you're hiding. I'm with you all the way Hermione, wherever that way is. Whatever that way is."

Hermione half sat up, her heart pounding.

"Sev, you can't -"

Say that? Mean that? She didn't know. Before she could finish the sentence, Severus sat up in bed, his silhouette leaning towards her. Then a finger pressed against her lips, silencing her.

"Don't say it. You don't need to say anything. I just wanted you to know. I'll follow you anywhere Hermione."

The gentle pressure of his finger against her lips burnt like a brand, and Hermione's breath caught as understanding washed over her, dizzying her with its breathless speed and force. How had she missed this?

"Sev -"

"Sh. Tomorrow is our last day before you get marked, so get some sleep."

Hermione lay with her face pressed into the fine threads of her cloak, which felt coarse after his touch. Her heartbeat slowed after several minutes, but she lay awake for a long time listening, until she heard Severus begin to breathe slowly and deeply, and knew that he was asleep.

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Thanks for reading,

Cas