Chapter Nineteen

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The following morning, Hermione and Severus breakfasted in the Leaky Cauldron, and then took to the streets of Diagon Alley. They spent a pleasant and carefree morning wandering up and down the twisted, winding roads.

"Have you ever been in here before?" Hermione asked, pointing out an antique bookshops hidden down a side street.

Severus turned to look. "No, I don't think so," he said.

The shop was tall and narrow, and the dusty windows displayed several large spell books open on pages of diagrams. As they pushed open the door a bell tinkled somewhere above their heads.

Inside was a maze of high bookshelves and stacks of books in every direction, with scattered nooks and crannies containing comfortable looking chairs where the reader could sit, absorbed in a text for hours in peace. Hermione sneezed as the dust tickled her nose, and squeezed past a few teetering piles that looked to be on the verge of toppling. She looked around for Severus but he was already pulling a stepladder towards a shelf to reach something above his head.

Have you found something already?" Hermione asked him.

"I can't believe I've never been in here before," Severus said, pulling a book from the shelves and inspecting the back cover.

Hermione looked around, a warm feeling settling in the pit of her stomach as she turned to the back of the shop. This shop had an interesting selection of books on time travelling that she perused when she could, and she wandered towards that section now.

Professor Dumbledore had failed to return the Time Turner, and its absence was beginning to niggle at Hermione. There might be times ahead when she could need it dearly, and not having it close to hand made her uncomfortable. But she didn't want to use it until she understood how she had ended up here, in case she was accidentally thrown into yet another time and place she didn't expect. The idea of leaving this time now was impossible to contemplate.

Hermione ran her hand along the shelves, seeing the grooves in the dust marking the places where she had taken books out on previous visits. It looked as though nobody except her ever found their way into this corner of the shop, and she took her time scanning the various titles. Finally she settled on a scarlet leather-bound book with Quantum Mechanics written in gold lettering on the spine.

When she first found out she was a witch, one of the most astonishing things for Hermione had been discovering how many of the influential figures in science and physics throughout the centuries had been magicals. Newton, Galileo, Copernicus, Pasteur, and so many more. It wasn't that she was surprised that magic had probably played a part in their discoveries; she was surprised by how little influence their discoveries had on magical society. Perhaps the laws of gravity weren't so important to wizards when you could levitate.

There was a scuffle, and Hermione looked up sharply, but it was only Severus coming around the corner, juggling a stack of books.

"What are you reading?" Severus asked. Hermione showed him.

"I was just thinking how odd it is that witches and wizards made so many important discoveries in science but that they've had more of an effect on the Muggle world," she said.

Severus placed his stack of books on a low table in a nearby corner with two wing-backed chairs, and took Hermione's book. He flicked through a few pages and handed it back.

"Huh. I see what you mean," he said. "But then we don't really need things like penicillin when we've had potions for hundreds of years that did the same job."

"It's interesting though, because it's changed Muggle society forever," Hermione said, sitting down in one of the chairs and opening the book to the opening page. Severus sat down opposite her, sending up a cloud of dust from the velvet fabric, and nodded. She could see his mind was already half embedded in his potions texts, and so she left him to it.

They read quietly for half an hour, until Hermione came across something that caught her eye and made her pause.

Quantum Entanglement is a physical phenomenon which occurs when two particles are interact in such a way that the state of each particle cannot be described independently of the state of the other, even when they are separated by a large distance.

The explanation continued, but Hermione stared at the words for a moment, reminded inexplicably of her own situation. Every move she made, every plan she carried out was linked to what she knew was going to happen. She couldn't act independently of those memories, only in response to them. She thought also of Severus - what effect had her appearance had on his life, his future, his self?

"What is it?" Severus asked, looking up from his book, his dark brows drawing together as he felt her gaze land on him.

Hermione realised she had been staring at him.

"Sorry, nothing. Just got lost in a bit of magi-physics."

It seemed strange to Hermione that her body should have been transported through time with all of the atoms intact and landing in the right order in her body, while somewhere out there in the world her parents were living their lives, unaware that in a few years they would have a baby daughter, biologically identical in every way to Hermione Black

"You love that stuff," Severus said, shaking his head in a gesture that could have been described as fond if anybody except him had done it.

"It's fascinating. It's all about how the world works, and how it fits together."

"It's enough for me to know that it does work. As long as there's soil to grow plants, fire to heat cauldrons and animals to put in them, I'm happy," Severus said.

Hermione smiled. "Maybe. But it's fascinating nonetheless."

Severus flicked back a couple of pages.

"That reminds me. Look what they've written here - it's about how they brewed potions before they could use pewter cauldrons, look."

Hermione took the book passed to her, and scanned the page. She discovered that she disagreed with what the author had suggested, and told Severus that. This resulted in quite a lively debate, which eventually grew in volume so much so that they were eventually chased out by the ancient shopkeeper, who bore a more than passing resemblance to Madam Pince, and emerged onto the street bursting into laughter.

"I never got to finish my chapter," Hermione said, nudging Severus's shoulder.

"It's hardly my fault you escalated that situation," Severus said, although his eyes were sparkling.

"My fault! You were the one who..."

Bantering backwards and forth they made their way back down the street, and visited a few more shops.

But by midday a heavy feeling had settled into the pit of Hermione's stomach. Time was passing, and she had to complete an errand she couldn't put off any longer. She needed a very specific item for the preparations she would need to make before the Marking. There was a scar on her left arm that Lord Voldemort could not be allowed to see, and it needed removing. As they neared the turning to Knockturn Alley, Hermione turned to Severus and asked:

"Do you mind if we visit the apothecary?"

"Sure," Severus said. "But it's back that way."

"No, I meant the one down here."

At that, Severus raised an eyebrow, but followed Hermione down the alley without further comment.

In the dimly lit Knockturn Alley apothecary, Hermione left Severus browsing the shelves and headed for the high counter, from behind which a portly man in rich green robes sneered at her.

"Can I help you, Miss…?"

"Black," Hermione said curtly. "That would be Miss Hermione Black."

The sneer fell from his face as if it had been wiped off, and he swallowed. He eyed Hermione with wariness, as she reached in her bag for a piece of parchment. This was why she had chosen this shop; the man paid a tariff to the Death Eaters in return for their exclusive custom and protection.

"What can I help you with today Miss Black?"

"Someone quite important needs one of these," she told him, and handed over a piece of parchment.

The man gulped. Hermione didn't tell him that she was the important person in question; if he believed it was for the Lord Voldemort, so much the better. As he hurried away with the parchment clutched in his fat fist, Severus came up behind her and placed a jar of newts eyes on the counter.

"What was that about?"

"Just a restricted ingredient," she said.

Severus didn't ask any more questions, but paid for his items and pretended to be inspecting his receipt when the shopkeeper returned, and handed Hermione a brown package that wriggled in an unpleasant way, as though something was trying to squirm out.

"It should be all secure in there Miss Black," the man said, wiping his hands on his robes.

It was necessary for the Marking, but Hermione still shuddered inwardly as she made sure the package was securely sealed, and tucked it into her bag.

"Thank you, that was everything. Coming, Sev?"

Severus nodded, and followed her out of the door. The daylight seemed dimmer, and the shadows longer as they made their way up through Knockturn Alley.

"What are you going to do with the flesh-eater?" Severus asked, when the apothecary was far behind them.

Hermione stumbled, but Severus caught her arm quickly.

"Steady."

"You knew what it was," Hermione said, trying to keep her voice calm. He could always be obliviated later, she thought, trying to ignore how the thought made her stomach churn.

Severus gave a slight shrug, as if to say of course.

"You really are the consummate potions maker," Hermione said weakly.

"I just recognised it because I like to read widely. You don't get many things from an apothecary that move like that."

"Mm."

Hermione's heart was racing. How could he be so observant? Had she made a mistake bringing him with her today? Severus seemed so steady and safe, and because of that she hadn't been as careful around him as she should be. But he had promised that he would trust her, no matter what. Could she trust him?

"So..don't want to talk about it yet?" Severus asked. His eyes were fixed on the cobblestones, but she could hear the edge in his voice.

"Not now. For all you know I could be planning to beat your potions record."

Hermione's attempt at humour was very poor, but Severus picked up on the message, and let the subject go.

"You're going to be beating my marks soon," he said.

Relieved and pleased that Severus seemed willing to let the matter go, Hermione spoke without thinking.

"Lily was only a few points off in the final exams. We'll have to watch out for that."

There was a sudden silence, and Severus's face turned sour. Hermione's stomach lurched. They'd never spoken about Lily.

"Sorry Sev - I didn't mean -"

They turned out of Knockturn Alley and into the main thoroughfare of Diagon Alley, and the noise level rose as people hurried past them. Severus didn't speak, and Hermione was berating herself for her careless slip of the tongue, when he stopped outside Florean Fortescue's, so suddenly that she was taken by surprise.

"Watch out!"

A witch almost crashed into them, her arms laden with bags of shopping.

"Sorry," Severus called after her. He turned to Hermione. "Do you want an ice-cream?"

"Do I what?" Hermione said, sure she must have heard him wrong.

Severus spoke slowly. "Ice-cream. Cold, melty sweet thing. Do you want one?"

"I...why not?"

Bemused by the sudden change in his demeanour, Hermione followed Severus into the bright, warm little ice-cream parlour, where Florean served them with none of his usual warmth, but only distrustful glances.

As they sat at a little table outside with cones of the never-melting ice-creams that Fortescue's was famous for, Hermione was struck with the surrealism of the whole thing. Florean Fortescue, who had always been so kind, had stared at her as if she was something to be feared. And more surreal still, what would Ron and Harry have said if they could see her sitting here having ice-cream with a teenage Snape?

Severus took a bite of his vanilla cone and sighed.

"I'm sorry about before. I forgot that you couldn't have known."

"Known what?"

To conceal her expression, Hermione took a bite of her chocolate and raspberry ice-cream.

"Just about Lily. She and I used to be close, and it's still not an easy subject."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Hermione said awkwardly. How could she tell him that she already knew it all? That she'd seen memories in a pensieve: all of the sweet, private moments of his childhood with Lily, and the very public shaming that ended it all.

"We met when we were children, you see."

Severus stared at the people walking past them without seeing them; his eyes unfocused, seeing something else.

"Oh really?" Hermione tried to sound surprised

"Yes," he said. "We were best friends, actually."

Slowly and painfully, Severus told Hermione the story of his childhood friend, with an honesty that surprised her, and concluded with a brief description of the day with the Marauder's.

"But it was my fault it ended," he said at last.

"No," Hermione said, shaking her head. "She should have forgiven you! It's ridiculous to end an entire friendship based on one word."

Severus smiled painfully. "It wasn't just that. We were a couple - oh very briefly, it had ended before then - and I'd been pretty horrible. I'm glad you didn't know me then, because I'm not proud of it."

Hermione couldn't hide her surprise. "You were a couple?"

"Fourth year - we were hardly more than children," Severus said, shaking his head. "I was getting more caught up with Avery and Mulciber, practicing dark magic, bullying the other muggle-borns. When I saw Lily she could always tell. It got too much for her, but she said we could stay friends. But by the time I called her a mudblood it had been over for a long time, I just couldn't accept it."

Although Severus kept his tone light Hermione knew him well enough to tell there was buried pain masked.

"You still miss her," she said.

Severus looked down at the table, and then he met Hermione's eyes, and smiled. "Yes, I do. But it's different now. Lily was the first person that ever cared about me, and the first person that ever looked out for me in my life, and I didn't think anybody else ever would. Until some crazy witch showed up on the road to Hogsmeade last October, and took down the Marauders."

Hermione's cheeks grew warm.

"Anyone could have done that."

"Yes," Severus agreed. "But they didn't, not even my friends. And now you've taught me to fight, I know it'll never happen again."

"It sounds like you don't need me anymore," Hermione teased.

Severus grinned. "Oh I'm sure I can find some use for you."

Hermione crunched the last of her ice-cream cone, and aimed a kick at Severus under the table, which he skilfully dodged.

"Nice try Black. What about you? Any heartbroken ex-boyfriends hanging around in your past?"

Hermione's expression slipped briefly, and Severus caught it.

"Sorry, I hope I didn't hit a sore spot," he said.

An image of a tall, freckled red-haired boy swam behind Hermione's eyes, and she didn't immediately shake it off. It stung to call his face to her mind, but Ron deserved to be remembered sometimes, not always shoved down and away to the back of her mind. Sometimes she was guilty of pretending that they had never existed, because it hurt too much to remember.

"There was one," she said quietly. "He was a good person, but he died."

"Oh shit Hermione, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it's fine. I don't really want to talk about it."

Severus held her gaze for a moment as though to assess whether she really meant that, and then nodded. He wiped his mouth on a napkin and stood up, scraping his chair back from the table.

"Let's keep going. There's at least two bookshops we haven't visited yet," he said, offering her his arm.

Hermione stood, straightening her robes, and smiled at him. She took his arm, pretending nonchalance.

"That sounds perfect."

The rest of the day passed in the pleasure of good books and conversation, and enjoyment of each others company. Rarely had Hermione enjoyed herself this much. Severus was clever and witty, and his unexpected dry humour made her laugh.

The day would have been perfect, if it hadn't been for the heavy weight of the squirming flesh-eater in Hermione's bag, and the ever-lengthening shadow cast by the upcoming Marking. The following night she would have to present herself before Lord Voldemort and all of his Death Eaters, to be branded like cattle.

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Thanks for reading!

Cas