Edmund was seething.

He had been the proud older brother of Peter for a mere three hours and already he was wishing that the White Witch had killed him when she had the chance.

"Ooh! What's that?"

"That's a vase."

"What do you keep in it?"

"Flowers."

"Is that where your goldfish lives?"

"No."

"Can you get me a goldfish?"

"No."

"Why not? I'm the High King. I can have anything I want."

"Well you can't have a fish."

"Why not?"

"Because you, being the twitchy little child that you are, would probably kill it before it had a chance to live." Edmund said meanly.

"I would not. I once had a pet worm and it stayed alive for two whole hours." Peter said defiantly.

"Wow! Congratulations to you!"

"Hey! You've got something in your hair."

"It doesn't matter."

"Oh no. It's just there. Let me get it!" Peter started jumping.

"No! Leave it!"

"Almost got it..."

"Stop jumping at me you insufferable little - ARGH! SUSAN!" Edmund wailed as Peter yanked out a clump of Edmund's dark hair.

"Oops." Peter said.

"What is going on?" Susan cried and she and Lucy came running into the room.

"I'll tell you! This little nightmare just ripped out all of my hair!"

"Edmund, you're exaggerating." Susan said calmly.

"No! Look! I have a bald spot!"

"Oh, you do not. He just got a couple of strands." Susan and Lucy turned to leave.

"Fine. But I'm blaming you when all of my hair falls out because you're making me watch over this little DEMON!" Edmund yelled after his sisters.

"I want to go outside. Take me outside." Peter told Edmund. Edmund's nerves were so far gone, he decided to just go along with it.

"Good idea! Maybe the fresh air will sober you."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No! Not a bit!" Edmund replied sarcastically.

"Good." Peter said happily. Edmund decided to take Peter to the stables. Maybe talking horses would scare him so much that he wouldn't talk anymore. Edmund was just beginning to think that maybe he could put up with Peter when the child started humming...loudly.

"10...9...8..." Edmund counted slowly through gritted teeth. "7...6...Do you HAVE to hum?" He cried.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I'm High K - "

"You know what? No you're not. Wanna know why? Because you are no longer the older brother. I'm your older brother so that makes me High King. Got it?" Peter stared at him.

"I don't have an older brother." Peter told him.

"Well you do now!"

"I do not."

"Do too. Know why? Because I'm your brother and at the moment...I'm older than you!"

"You're not my brother. My brother is bald and has no teeth."

"Well, thanks to you, I may not be too far away from the bald thing." Edmund snapped.

"You're cranky. I still think you need a nap."

"You know, I don't need a midget such as yourself telling me when I need a nap."

"You'd feel better if you took a nap."

"Why don't you go take a nap, pipsqueak?"

"I'm not tired."

"Trust me, you'd be doing everyone a favor." Edmund muttered as the two brothers entered the Royal Stables. Peter's blue eyes filled with awe and wonder at the glorious horses.

"Horses..." He seemed hypnotized.

"Yes. Horses. Generally what one finds in a stable." Edmund told him.

"I wanna touch the horses!" Peter yelled excitedly and broke into a run, making a beeline for Edmund's horse Phillip. Edmund stood, dumbfounded for a moment, before dashing after his brother.

"NO! STOP!"

"Touch touch touch touch touch touch touch touch..." Peter chanted as he ran.

"Oh, I hate this kid...I hate this kid!" Edmund moaned mostly to himself.

"Horsie!" Peter reached out to touch Phillip, but Edmund grabbed him around the waste and lifted him off the ground.

"Gotcha!" Edmund cried triumphantly. His victory lasted for about four seconds. Peter started squirming violently in Edmund's arms.

"Put me down!" He demanded.

"Two words for you. No. Way."

"What is that?" Phillip asked, eyeing Peter as though he were an unsightly insect.

"This would be Peter." Edmund said in a falsely chipper voice.

"Peter? As in - "

"Oh yeah. The one and only. Isn't this just wonderful?"

"What happ - "

"Argh!" Edmund cried out as Peter kicked Edmund viciously in the back of the leg. "THAT'S IT!" He cried. He set Peter down, grabbed his hand, and dragged him out of the stables.

"Where are we going?"

"Hey Peter, do you know what a mercy killing is?" Edmund asked.

"No."

"Well, you're going to find out if you don't SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Peter looked like he had something to say, but for fortunately took Edmund's words to heart and kept quiet. Edmund led the young King into the forest. "TYPRIS!" Edmund hollered. Birds scattered at the sound of his voice. He looked around. Finally, the gnome appeared.

"Good day, Your Majesty." Typris greeted him happily.

"Hey Typ. I wanna talk to you about something." Edmund said in a conversational tone.

"Yes, Your Majesty." Typris' pointy ears perked up.

"You know my brother Peter, about 5'11...seventeen years old..." Edmund started casually.

"Indeed Sir."

"You wanna explain to me why he's a BLOODY TODDLER!" Edmund screamed in the gnome's face.

"Hey." Peter pouted in protest.

"Well, You-Your Majesty...after you came to me yesterday...I thought maybe I would be...doing you a favor." Typris, obviously intimidated by Edmund's outburst, stammered.

"You thought turning my older brother into a six-year-old terror was doing me a favor!" Edmund cried.

"Well...I didn't really know how young the potion would make him...it was an experiment." Typris said softly.

"Oh, you did not just say that." Edmund said angrily. Typris nodded meekly. "Then tell me, please, for the love of Aslan that you have some sort of antidote."

"Well...I have a few things I could try..."

"Typris...by what stretch of the imagination did you think this was a good idea?"

"Well, you seemed so upset. I wanted to help you."

"I came to you because I needed to vent! You know to disregard anything I say when I'm venting!"

"Relax, Your Majesty. Even if there is no real antidote, the Potion will wear off by next New Moon."

"Next New Moon...Typris! New Moon was last Tuesday! And it's Friday! We have another twenty-five days! I refuse to put up with this -" He pointed at Peter who was sitting next to a tree and appeared to have just swallowed something and was now licking his fingers. "What did you just eat?" He asked sternly. Peter looked at him with big blue eyes, but didn't respond. "Peter Arthur James Pevensie you answer me right now. What did you eat?" Edmund demanded.

"How do you know my name?" Peter looked shocked.

"It doesn't matter. What did you eat?" Edmund asked. A mischievous grin appeared on the six-year-old's face.

"A birdie."

"A what!"

"Birdie." Peter looked quite pleased with himself.

"No. No no no, you did not eat a bird."

"Did too!"

"No, you didn't."

"I did!"

"So where are the feathers, then?"

"I ate them too."

"Where's all the blood?"

"I swallowed him whole."

"This is lovely. I'm not only finding out that my older brother was a right little prat when he was younger, but a chronic liar as well." Edmund told Typris before grabbing Peter by the shoulders. "What did you eat?" He asked slowly and seriously.

Peter returned his serious gaze before spitting out the word. "Birdie!" Peter then began to giggle as Edmund cried out in frustration.

"Do you see what you've done to me!" Edmund cried out to Typris, who was trying to conceal his laughter. "Not you too!"

"He's a cute child, Your Majesty."

"No he's not cute! He's a little demon that likes to torment me, which everyone else seems to find terribly entertaining!"

"You get aggravated too easily, Sire."

"Okay then. You try spending more than five minutes alone with him. See how you like it." Edmund told him.

"Tweet...tweet...tweet..." Both Edmund and Typris looked curiously at Peter who was flapping his arms and making bird noises. "Raw!" Peter cried when he noticed they were watching.

"Stop it." Edmund told him.

"I can't. The birdie is in my brain." He cried dramatically, clutching his brain and falling over. Edmund looked at Typris and saw that the gnome seemed to be having seconds thoughts about the young Peter being cute.

"Behold your creation. And unless you want that running the Kingdom for a month, I suggest you get to work on finding that antidote." Edmund said, clapping Typris on the back. "You have a pleasant day." Edmund turned to walk away and realized he was missing something. He walked over to Peter, who was still rolling around on the ground clutching his head, and kicked him in the side.

"Ow." Peter said, rubbing his side.

"We're leaving. Time for lunch. Let's go."

"Lunch! Yay! I'm starving!"

"Oh really? I'd have thought after eating that bird you'd be full."

"Birds are hollow inside. Everyone knows that."

"Oh really?"

"Yep. Eating birds is dumb. They don't fill you up at all."

"So why did you eat one?"

"I was hungry."

"But it didn't satisfy your hunger."

"But it tasted good!" Edmund looked at his brother.

"You are the strangest child in the world." He said.

"You've never eaten a bird?"

"As weird as it may sound, the only birds I've ever eaten have been cooked."

"Yuck. Who's idea was it to cook a bird?" Peter asked.

"Clearly not yours."

"Good day, Your Highness!" Tumnus waved cheerfully as Edmund and Peter exited the forest.

"What is THAT!" Peter gasped, his eyes bugging out of his head.

"Don't be rude." Edmund told Peter. Wow...that was a first...me telling Peter not to be rude. "This is Mr. Tumnus."

"He's a goat!" Peter cried.

"No I'm not. I'm a Faun. And who are you?" Tumnus asked, walking over to the two Kings.

"Tumnus...this is Peter."

"Peter?" Tumnus asked. "Peter who?"

"How many Peters do you know?" Edmund asked, absolutely sick to death of silly questions.

"Certainly not King Peter the Magnificent!"

"Magnificent?" Peter's jaw dropped.

"Haha...Ix-nay on the agnificent-may." Edmund said through gritted teeth.

"I beg your pardon?" Tumnus looked genuinely confused.

"Don't call him magnificent!" Edmund hissed. It was too late.

"I am King Peter...the Magnificent!" Peter cried gloriously, holding his hands in the air. Edmund glared at the Faun.

"I hate you."

Hey guys! How goes it? Thank you so much to those of you who reviewed. It really means a lot to me that you enjoyed the story. Sorry that it's taken me so long to update. It's been a busy couple of months and with college starting next month it's probably just going to get busier! I promise though, I'm not going to give up my writing. It may take me forever to update, but I'm not giving up till it's done. Also, sorry that this chapter is shorter and may not be as great as the first two. I was totally and utterly satisfied with my first two chapters and although I like this one and had fun writing it, I don't think it's quite as good as the first two. I'll leave that up to y'all to decide, however. I'll try and update as soon as possible. I have quite a few other stories going, however, and whether I work on one or not completely depends on what mood I'm in. I hope you all have a great rest of the summer!

Love, Peace, and Pirates Midnight Paradise

PS - In case anyone out there is wondering...No, Peter didn't actually eat a bird.