"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"PETER! STOP! YOU'RE GOING TO - "
CRASH!
"What are you doing!" Susan appeared, eyeing the suit of armor that was now lying in a million pieces on the floor.
"Oh please let me kill him! Please, please, please." Edmund begged Susan.
"Edmund, calm down. What happened?"
"Hopefully, he sustained a massive head injury and won't be able to talk anymore." Edmund growled.
"What really happened?"
"He sneezed and the suit of armor came tumbling down. What do you think!" Edmund cried. "He ran right into it! He's like a little monkey! Only worse! We've got to get rid of him."
"We are not getting rid of him, Edmund. Typris told you that this will only last twenty five days at the longest."
"That's about twenty four and a half days longer than I'm willing to put up with this."
"Oh Edmund, he's not hurting anybody."
"He called Tumnus a goat." Edmund pointed out.
"Stop it. You know what I mean."
"That's easy for you to say! You haven't been babysitting him all day! But if you'd like to give it a try, I'd be more than happy to let you."
"Well, actually, that's why I came in to talk to you."
"You're relieving me? Oh Su, thank you! I love you!" Edmund grabbed his older sister by the waste and squeezed her.
"Actually, I came to tell you that Lucy and I are traveling into Arden tonight to take Peter's place at a counsel." Edmund's face dropped.
"What?"
"Well, I can't let you take his place. You're too young. And I also can't leave you alone with Peter and Lucy. And I certainly can't take Peter to counsel. Aslan knows what sort of trouble he'd get into. So you and Peter will stay here for a few days while Lucy and I are away."
"Su! No! You can't leave me here with...him." Edmund dropped to his knees and looked desperately at his sister.
"Sorry Ed. This is the only way. Besides, he seems to have bonded with you." As she spoke, Peter ran over and hugged Edmund around the neck. Annoying as it was, Edmund almost considered the action to be endearing.
"Lucky me." Edmund muttered.
"Susan? Are you ready?" Lucy asked. "The carriages are ready."
"Yes, coming Lucy." Susan told her. She turned back to her brothers. "Don't worry. If he gets too out of hand, Tumnus will be around."
"Tumnus will only encourage him." Edmund told her matter-of-factly.
"And you can always get a servant to help you out."
"Susan I -"
"Well, time for me to be going." Edmund couldn't help but notice that Susan had a bit of an eager smile on her face. "Good luck, Ed. Peter, behave yourself."
"Okie dokie." Peter gave a toothy grin.
"Su...come on Su...You're not really leaving - " But Susan left the room without looking back. Edmund ran to the window and sure enough, saw his sisters' luggage being loaded into a carriage. Edmund watched hopelessly as the carriages disappeared into the woods.
"Let's play hide and seek!" Peter said happily. "You're it!"
"No!" Edmund cried. He remembered what had happened the last time he and his siblings had decided to play hide and seek. Not that he regretted finding the passageway to Narnia, but he would rather not have Peter fall through some sort of magical door and then have to explain to Susan, Lucy, not to mention the entire Kingdom why High King Peter had mysteriously vanished. It was too late. Peter had taken off at a dash. "I hate my life." Edmund muttered.
Edmund wandered through the halls calling Peter's name for what seemed to be ages. After a while though, Edmund figured he should just sit back and enjoy the silence. He decided to head to the kitchen for a snack when trumpets sounded. Trumpets like that usually only meant one thing. Visitors. Visitors that so graciously decided to show up without sending word in advance. Visitors that, more than likely, were here hoping to meet with the High King.
"Why?" Edmund moaned. "Why now?" He trudged to the entranceway, where servants had already shown the guests inside. "Bugger." Edmund blurted rather loudly. His company looked rather stunned at his rude outburst. Edmund chuckled nervously. "Hello. Lovely day."
"Announcing, the mighty King Dellon and his lovely daughter, Princess Eliana." How convenient. Another father and daughter, seeking Peter's hand in marriage. "His Royal Highness, King Edmund, the Just." The servant introduced Edmund.
"Greetings, Your Majesty." King Dellon bowed courteously to Edmund.
"Er...yeah...Greetings." Edmund bowed. He had no clue what he was doing. Peter was the social sibling, not him! Peter knew how to welcome guests and be a gentleman. All Edmund knew how to do was bow and look presentable.
"My daughter, Eliana."
"Pleased to meet you." Eliana held out her hand for Edmund to kiss.
"Great to meet you too." Edmund took her hand and shook it clumsily. Why am I being punished? He thought desperately.
"We are honored to be guests of the High and Mighty King Peter the Magnificent." King Dellon said proudly.
"Oh yeah, he's a great guy." Edmund gave an uneasy grin.
"No doubt the greatest Monarch in the land."
"Yep, and I'll tell him you came by. Thanks." Edmund said in an attempt to make his company leave.
"Your Highness." The Princess spoke. Edmund looked at her. She was very pretty, and slightly taller than him. "We were hoping to see His Majesty, King Peter."
"Er...I really don't think you want to see him." Edmund said. Curse my inability to communicate with strangers!
"On the contrary. I desire nothing more in the world." She told him.
"No, you really don't want to see him."
"Yes, I do." Now the Princess appeared to be frustrated by Edmund's shenanigans.
"We have ventured far to offer him my daughter's hand in marriage." The King said.
"Oh really?" Edmund feigned shock, though his voice was unintentionally filled with sarcasm. He could see anger flash in the King's eyes. "I mean...I'm sure he will be flattered."
"Indeed. May we see him?"
"Well...you could...but he - he's not feeling well! Yeah, that's it! He's feeling bloody awful." Both father and daughter gasped as the word "bloody" escaped Edmund's lips. Edmund bit his tongue. Surely "bloody" was not a term that a respected and dignified King should be using. "I mean he's sick." Edmund finished pathetically. Neither guest appeared to believe him. Why can't I lie! Why? Why? Why?
"You're Majesty, I understand that you are a Great King of Cair Paravel, but I do not appreciate your childish antics." Edmund almost laughed out loud. He thought he was childish? "Now please. We are here to see King Peter." Edmund sighed.
"I understand that, Your Majesty. But I simply cannot allow you that privilege."
"And why not?"
"YOU NEVER FOUND ME! I WIN!" Edmund squeezed his eyes shut and silently prayed that Peter would magically disappear.
"Not now." Edmund turned and hissed at Peter.
"Hey! Who are they?" Peter eyed his company excitedly and ran over to meet them. King Dellon and his daughter, like everyone else, seemed to think young Peter was quite adorable.
"Well, hello there." The King greeted. "I am King Dellon, and this is my daughter, Princess Eliana."
"Oooooh! A Princess!" Peter's eyes went wide. The princess giggled.
"And who are you?" She asked.
No no no no no no no no no. Edmund mouthed silently, but Peter ignored him.
"I am King Peter...the Magnificent!" Peter declared, trying to make his high voice as deep and menacing as he could. Edmund braced himself for shouting. Instead, both King and Princess gazed down at the young boy before bursting into hysterical laughter.
"Your little brother is so cute!" The Princess said. "He must really admire King Peter."
"He is King Peter." Edmund muttered darkly.
"Nonsense! King Peter is High King of Narnia! No child of this age could acquire a title such as that!" The King laughed.
"Besides, King Peter is renown throughout the land to be a true gentleman, strong, handsome, chivalrous..." The Princess sighed, a dreamy look in her eyes. Edmund rolled his eyes.
"You haven't seen him in the morning." He remarked before he could stop himself.
"I beg your pardon?" The Princess asked.
"Nothing." Edmund said quickly.
"What are you doing in my castle?" Peter asked.
"PETER!" Edmund cried, clamping a hand over Peter's face. He looked, utterly horrified, up at the King. "I do apologize. He's rather - URGH!" Peter licked Edmund's hand, something that Edmund himself had done to Peter on countless occasions. Peter giggled. "Here, you want him? He'll be back to his old self in twenty five days and then you can marry him and dress him up and do whatever you want with him. Take him!" Edmund shoved Peter and the Princess, who caught him. She looked startled.
"Eww! I don't wanna marry you." Peter announced. Edmund, feeling every muscle in his body tensing up, hid his face in his hands.
"I am soooooooo sorry." He managed through his humiliation. The Princess' mouth hung open in shock and her father looked ready to behead someone.
"I am tired of your tricks and impudence. We demand to see King Peter. This instance." King Dellon told Edmund.
"Listen Your Majesty, I know it's hard to believe, but this is King Peter. I told you he wasn't himself today and well...I think you can see that." Edmund told the King.
"I refuse to believe it! My daughter and I did not travel all this way to seek the hand of a five year old!"
"I'm six." Peter pouted. "And a half." He added.
"Shut up! You're not helping!" Edmund told him.
"So, you're asking us to believe that this is King Peter?" The Princess asked.
"Yes." Edmund said.
"Well, whoever started the rumor that his hand was worth seeking seems to be gravely mistaken."
"He's not usually like this! He's usually tall and nice and...cutesy and whatever you girls like about him." Edmund said disgustedly.
"Hey you...I'm going to go swimming." Peter looked up at Edmund.
"I have a name. And no, you're not."
"Yes I am."
"Peter, we have guests."
"They're boring."
"Ha ha! Kids!" Edmund once again looked apologetically at their guests. "You sure you don't want him? He's cute and cuddly and I bet he'll even play fetch with you!"
"That's alright." The Princess eyed Peter, who was tugging at the collar of his shirt which they had borrowed from a friendly dwarf that lived on the other side of the lake.
"Oh come on...he needs a good home. I'm afraid he's not getting the nurturing he deserves here."
"I think it's time we be on our way." The King told the young Monarch. "Thank you for your time."
"Wait...wait a minute...you really can take him." Edmund said as the King and his daughter turned to exit. "Alright! Thanks for stopping by!" He waved as the carriages departed. "Oh, I wanna die." Edmund muttered, collapsing onto a step outside the castle.
"I want to swimming." Peter announced.
"We're not going swimming."
"Why not? I want to."
"I don't want to. I want to crawl in a hole and die."
"Why?"
"Because that was the most embarrassing experience of my life and now word is going to spread throughout the land that Cair Paravel is home to a couple of nutters."
"Nutters." Peter smiled. "Nutters nutters nutters nutters..."
"Is that absolutely necessary?" Edmund was growing weary of Peter's ceaseless chatter.
"Nutters nutters nutters nutters..." Peter giggled in Edmund's face, letting Edmund know that Peter was going on only to annoy him. Edmund took a deep breath and looked out that the lake. He remembered Susan telling him that reacting to Peter would just egg him on, and that if he just stopped responding, Peter would eventually stop whatever he was doing to annoy Edmund.
Susan didn't know anything.
"Nutters nutters nutters nutters nutters..." Edmund rubbed his forehead and tried to find comfort in the sunset. However, the idea of approaching night only brought on a new fear.
"Hey Peter, you're not afraid of the dark are you?" Edmund asked suddenly. He was pleased to see that the child was caught off guard.
"No." He replied.
"Good." Edmund said. He could only imagine how horrible it would be to have Peter spend the night in his room because he was scared...
Hey everyone! Wow...I'm really proud of myself for updating so soon! I want to send big hugs out to all my wonderful readers and reviewers (is that a word?) because it was you all who really made me want to write more today. I would make this chapter longer, but I have a family thing I need to get to. Thank you all SO much for your reviews! You have no idea how much they mean to me! I hope you all liked this chapter! More to come!
Love, Peace, and Pirates - Midnight Paradise
