Chapter Twenty-Nine

\\/

The floor had begun to shake again.

Hermione kicked at the flagstones irritably as they walked up to breakfast. None of them had cracked yet but it was surely going to happen soon.

"I can't sleep through all this shaking," Arabel complained. "We're in the dungeons for Merlin's sake."

"Sounds like there's some kind of mountain troll in the base of the castle trying to break out," Rabastan said.

Hermione snorted. "Not quite," she said. "Slughorn just says they're building the duelling cavern."

"Don't see why they didn't just use ours," Regulus said wryly.

Now that there were six in their group, the duelling cavern that Hermione had created for two people was beginning to get cramped. They were practising on an almost nightly basis.

"Well, I just don't know why they're building it underground."

"It's because of the spellfire, and because they're afraid of others. They don't want anyone able to get in. They don't want to have it out in the open air where there's any risk to the fighters."

Hermione nodded. "Makes sense. If you consider that a good enough reason to dig up Hogwarts."

\\/

The international students were present at breakfast, but they remained at their own table and there was no further opportunity to study them. But in news that the school found much more exciting, the date of the first round of the Duelling Tournament had been posted overnight.

"Ten days," Rabastan announced, dropping onto the bench. "First round in ten days."

"That's not long to get the measure of the internationals," Hermione observed.

"Scared, Black?" somebody behind them said. Hermione drew her wand as she turned, and James Potter looked slightly more uncomfortable with a wand jabbing his side.

"In your dreams Potter," she said and turned dismissively.

"So," she said to her friends, meeting their eyes one by one. "We're going to need to do this as a team. Alecto and Arabel - your job is to scout the International teams... Spy on their training practices, learn their names, get as close as you can."

Arabel seemed to want to pretend their fight the night before had never happened. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"You can count on us."

"Good," Hermione said. "Regulus - I need you on the European teams. Call up their family history, use your contacts, get their duelling records."

"You've got it," Regulus said.

"Rabastan and Severus," Hermione said. "Just train every moment you have. And keep an eye on Bellatrix."

\\/

Hermione was leaving the Great Hall when a third year Slytherin girl came puffing up, her face shiny. Hermione raised an eyebrow at her and immediately she swallowed, and stopped short.

"Oh, uh, begging your pardon Black. I just have...erm...this for you."

The third-year thrust a scroll at Hermione. She took it and the girl bobbed an awkward half-curtsy and fled.

Hermione broke the seal on the scroll and opened it, scanning the contents.

"You got one too," Severus said, materialising at her shoulder.

"Report to the Hospital Wing for physical examination after breakfast," Hermione read out loud.

"Better go and see what Pomfrey wants," Severus said.

\\/

"- and you need to remember that when you feint right, you have to bring your arm into an upstroke in time to make a left shot," Hermione said to Severus as they hurried into the hospital wing.

Severus didn't say anything but nodded tightly. Amos Diggory stood by a partitioned section of curtains at the end of the hospital wing, and he waved at Hermione and Severus as they approached.

"Pomfrey's just finishing up with Black, and then it's me."

Hermione and Severus sat down on the nearest bed. Amos seemed at ease for somebody who was about to go into such a huge competition, Hermione thought. She asked him about it, and Amos smiled.

"I don't want to be a professional duellist," he said. "I'm going straight into the ministry this year. All I want from this competition is a chance to meet with foreign wizards and make contacts, and I don't need to win to do that."

"But surely you want to win," Hermione countered.

Amos grinned. "Well yes, I would rather like to win too."

The curtains around the bed parted and Sirius Black emerged in a rather dishevelled state.

"Off with you!" Madam Pomfrey could be heard saying from the inside. "And none of your cheek again mister Black. A manual examination is not required!"

Sirius grinned ruefully at Amos, and then caught sight of Hermione and Severus, at whom he scowled.

"Do a thorough job on the next one's Poppy," he called. "I'd hate for anyone to claim earlier injury when I beat them fair and square."

"We're on the Hogwarts team, Black," Severus sneered. "The same side. Do try to keep up."

"I'll never be on your side Snivellous," Sirius began, and then let out a howl of pain. He clutched at his buttocks.

"Don't ever use that word again Sirius," Hermione warned, and Sirius left the hospital wing with a backwards glare that promised painful recrimination. Only when he was gone did Hermione allow herself to smile.

"What's so funny?" Severus said coolly.

"That spell induces swelling as well. He'll be extra curvy for the first round of the tournament next week."

Severus just frowned. "I'm glad this is funny to you," he said.

Hermione opened her mouth and then closed it again. She understood pride better now.

\\/

Madam Pomfrey was efficient and kindly as she performed a brisk diagnostic spell on Hermione and then waved her wand towards a sheet of parchment where results began to appear. While they were both waiting for the full report, the Medi-Witch weighed and measured Hermione.

"You've put on a fair bit of weight since I last checked you over when you arrived last year," Madam Pomfrey said approvingly. Hermione nodded. Considering she been a starved prisoner-of-war when she arrived, this was no surprise.

Madam Pomfrey continued waving her wand, and a faint crease appeared between her eyebrows. "Your blood pressure is rather high though. There's a number of reasons that could be, but probably stress in your case. Have you been sleeping badly?"

"Actually the opposite," Hermione said. "I've been exhausted recently. But there's been so much going on, between this tournament and thinking about NEWTS."

And a Death Eater for a DADA professor, and a homicidal Dark Lord wanting to make me his second in command, she added in her head.

Madam Pomfrey didn't look entirely satisfied with this answer, but just at that moment, the piece of parchment which had filled up with results gave a quick chime to show it was ready. Madam Pomfrey picked it up and scanned the contents, and then let out a little noise of surprise.

"What is it?" Hermione demanded.

Madam Pomfrey shook her head.

"Let me just run this again. These results don't look at all right. The spell seems to think you're twenty-two years old."

Hermione swallowed. It hadn't occurred to her that her age could show up on a diagnostic spell.

"Maybe it's malfunctioning," she suggested. Her hand slid to her wand.

"One moment please Miss Black," Madam Pomfrey said distractedly. And then she cast another diagnostic charm - a more thorough one that Hermione recognised as one she had often used in the field.

The results appeared on the second piece of parchment and Madam Pomfrey read through quickly. The crease between her eyebrows deepened and she clucked her tongue.

"What is it?" Hermione asked innocently. She got ready to cast the confundus charm.

Madam Pomfrey hesitated for barely a second.

"Miss Black, according to this charm you are twenty-two years of age, and in addition the charm has suggested that...that you...that you are pregnant."

The world stopped. The silence held for an endless second. Everything seemed to slow down around Hermione, as though time had stretched itself. She could hear the thumps of her heartbeat and the rushing of blood in her ears.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Madam Pomfrey shook her head helplessly and gestured to the parchment.

"It must be malfunctioning, although I've never known this particular charm to be wrong before."

Hermione's mouth hung open. She was frozen in place, and could only mutely shake her head. Madam Pomfrey frowned.

"I'm sorry about this Miss Black, I'll just pop into my office and get a diagnostic potion instead. I don't understand why this one hasn't worked."

Hermione mastered herself only through the force of long, hard-won habit. She suppressed the thoughts that were screaming in fear and panic, compressed and pushed them down. She slowed her breathing and followed her training. Focus only on the immediate situation at hand.

Madam Pomfrey stood and made the mistake of turning her back to Hermione. That was long enough.

"Obliviate," Hermione said. The spell hit Madam Pomfrey in the back and she stumbled, then came to a stop. She turned around and smiled at Hermione.

"Are you ready for your physical assessment Miss Black?"

"But you just did it," Hermione said, holding up a piece of parchment innocently. She cast a silent confundus charm for good measure, and Madam Pomfrey nodded at last.

"Oh...yes of course," she said, looking confused. "I suppose you'd better send in Mr Snape."

Hermione nodded and pushed her way through the dividing curtains. Severus looked up and smiled when he saw her, their earlier agreement forgotten.

"Everything okay?"

Hermione couldn't answer.

Unable to wait for Severus to finish his assessment Hermione hurried back to the Slytherin dormitories as fast as she could. She refused to allow the terror that was churning in her stomach to make itself known enough that she could feel it. Once she let herself give in to panic, she would never be able to pull herself together.

Hermione pushed through the students in the common room impatiently. Mutters of irritation died away when the students saw who had bumped them, and they moved out of her way hastily, like the parting of the sea.

Hermione climbed the stairs to the dormitory and banged open the door. There was nobody else there, and Hermione shut it behind her and locked it swiftly, before warding it so that nobody would be able to get inside, witch, wizard or otherwise. Then she dropped her bag and hurried over to her bed.

Hermione was about to pull a stack of letter-writing paper from her bedside drawer when she noticed something strange. There was an envelope on her pillow.

Hermione narrowed her eyes. She looked around again, but the room was empty. The envelope looked innocuous, and on the front in shimmering emerald-green ink was her name in calligraphic swirls. Hermione Druella Black.

It was Lord Voldemort's handwriting. Could he have found out already? Had he somehow seen what had happened in the Hospital Wing?

"Fuck," Hermione muttered, casting several charms on the envelope to check it wasn't likely to immediately kill her. When it tested negative for acurses or jinxes Hermione tore open the envelope. A single sheet of paper floated out and drifted gently to rest on top of her bed covers.

Hermione picked up the piece of paper and read the note, written in the same swirling calligraphy as the name on the front.

Dear Miss Black,

I regret that we have not had more opportunity to correspond this year. However I have found your regular reports on the situation within Hogwarts most useful, and I commend your thoroughness.

Certain decisions about your future have been paramount in recent months. I have considered the matter and have chosen the second Lestrange son for your future spouse. You will wed in July, and assume your role by my side thereafter.

I believe you are already acquainted with Rabastan Lestrange, and I trust you will find him suitable.

LV.

The paper burst into flames but Hermione's fingers wouldn't unclench from around them, even when the flames scorched right into her hands. Her knuckles were white, and her head was foggy. All of the fear she had suppressed was rising, and Hermione couldn't fight it anymore.

Hermione dropped the paper and slid to the floor, and buried her head in her knees as a tidal wave of fear crashed into her.

\\/

It took all five of Hermione's friends several hours to break down the wards she had placed on the door. Severus was successful only because he had seen Hermione cast the same wards so many time that he was familiar with how they worked

Hermione lifted her head as her wards dissolved and the door crashed open. All of her friends rushed in and they pulled up short at the sight of her. Hermione was a mess. Her hair was frizzy and stuck to her face from the tears she had cried for hours, and her eyes were so swollen it was hard to see out. There were deep gouges in her palms where she had dug her nails in and clawed fruitlessly.

"Get out," Hermione rasped when her friends stopped, brought up sharply by the sight of her.

"Hermione, what's happened?" Rabastan asked. "Did someone hurt you?"

"Was it Bellatrix? I'll fucking kill her," Regulus said, pushing past Rabastan.

"I said get out!" Hermione shouted.

Everybody fell silent. Arabel and Alecto hovered at the back, and Arabel seemed to have forgotten her anger from the night before as she put her hand over her mouth.

"Hermione what's wrong?" she said.

"Just leave," Hermione said, struggling to her feet and pulling out her wand. "Leave!"

Hermione flicked her wand towards her friends and a force of wind began to push them towards the door and out. Only Severus fought it, standing his ground and gritting his teeth. His eyes were dark and furious and he locked them on hers.

"Hermione," he said, muscles in his neck standing out as he strained against the force. "Why did you obliviate Madam Pomfrey."

Abruptly Hermione let the spell end. Her friends stumbled and staggered at the sudden end of the spell, and Alecto tripped over Regulus.

"Everybody out except Severus," Hermione said in a low voice. But when nobody moved at first she screamed. "I SAID EVERYBODY GET OUT."

Hermione didn't know what her friends saw when they looked at her, but whatever it was worked. They scrambled away from the door, and she could hear their footsteps retreating down the corridor until only Severus was left standing in the doorway. Hermione gestured angrily at him.

"You'd better come in."

"What's going on?" Severus asked warily. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him, casting privacy and silencing charms before Hermione could even ask him to. "Did Pomfrey figure out the truth?"

"You could say that," Hermione laughed bitterly.

Severus didn't smile. "Stop it, Hermione, you're scaring me. I don't understand."

Hermione swallowed and nodded. She tried to find the words but they caught in her throat. She opened her mouth but nothing happened, and finally, she shook her head. Severus walked towards her and made deliberate eye contact.

"Can I?" he said.

Hermione wanted to say no, but she could say nothing at all. So she nodded, and let her occlumency walls fall. Severus leaned forward, looked deeply into her eyes and very gently slipped into her mind.

Madam Pomfrey looks confused.

"Let me just run this again. These results don't look at all right. The spell seems to think you're twenty-two years old."

"Maybe it's malfunctioning," Hermione suggests.

"One moment please Miss Black,"

Madam Pomfrey casts a second spell. Writing appears on a piece of parchment and she reads it.

"What is it?" Hermione asks.

Madam Pomfrey hesitates.

"Miss Black, according to this charm you are twenty-two years of age, and in addition the charm has suggested that...that you...that you are pregnant."

Severus wrenched out of Hermione's mind so violently that she cried out with the pain and clapped her hands to the side of her head. For a moment she thought she was going to vomit, but the urge passed.

"I'm sorry," she said, dropping to the bed.

"I'm so sorry Severus. I'm so sorry." Choking sobs were rising in Hermione's throat. Severus was staring at her, his face whiter than she had ever seen it.

"I'm going to fix it, I'll deal with it, we'll never have to think of it again I promise."

Severus still said nothing and Hermione babbled on.

"I should have done something, I should have realised, it was your first time. I didn't know. I'll fix it. I'm so sorry."

Severus stared at Hermione as though he could barely take in her face. Then something dawned in his expression.

"What do you mean you'll fix it?" he asked hoarsely.

"I'll get rid of it. I'll get the potion today. We don't have to think about it ever again. Just please don't leave," Hermione said, her voice cracking. He looked so far away from her, standing above with his features severe and cold.

"You'll get rid of it…" Severus said slowly.

He stopped and began to speak, and then paused. "Fuck! What the hell Hermione? You can't just throw something like this at me and then say you're going to fix it!"

Severus's face twisted, and he turned suddenly and smashed his fist into the wall.

"Fuck!"

"Severus!" Hermione cried.

"How could you do this?" Severus bellowed, his face twisting. "How could this happen?"

"I'm sorry, oh God I'm so sorry," Hermione said, shaking. "I'll deal with it. I just had to tell you though, I can't lie to you, Severus. It doesn't have to be a big deal, it'll be over soon."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Severus shouted. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"What?" Hermione said blankly.

Severus was breathing heavily and bleeding from the knuckles, but he turned to stare at her.

"You think this is all your mess to fix and your choice to make? What about my choice Hermione! Do I even get a say in this? What if I wanted to think about it some more before just getting rid of the thing?"

"There's no other choice!" Hermione shouted, scrambling to her feet and standing on eye level with him. "There is no other option. This is a fucking mess but the only way to deal with it is to make it go the fuck away. It needs to go, right now!"

"I can't deal with this," Severus said suddenly. And without another word he turned and walked out of the room.

\\/

For two days Severus and Hermione orbited in a strange not-speaking dance, avoiding each other and yet drawn into each others presence. Class times and mealtimes she would catch him looking at her, his face tight with worry.

Their friends knew something was badly wrong but Hermione and Severus said not a word to anybody. Nobody could know this secret.

Meanwhile, Hermione made plans, her heart aching as she did so. She found a place in Diagon Alley that would take care of things for her - for a hefty sum of gold - and she made a booking. It was a general witches clinic, not one that only performed this specific service, for which she was grateful. Nobody would know why she was there.

The night before the appointment Hermione left dinner early and headed upstairs. She suffered nausea all week, but whether this was a genuine symptom or just her fears made manifest she couldn't tell.

She was in her dormitory packing a small bag for the morning when the knock on her door came. Hermione opened it and found Severus standing there. His face was drawn and ill and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Hermione, Severus said, stepping into the room and closing the door, "Are you still going to do it?"

Hermione didn't bother to pretend that she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Yes," she said. "Tomorrow."

Severus raked his hands through his hair, He looked ghastly, as though he hadn't slept for the past two days, and he chewed incessantly on his lip.

"Don't do it," he burst out.

"Don't say it," Hermione said flatly.

"Don't do it," Severus said again. He looked a little desperate.

"I have to," Hermione said, walking over to her bag and buckling it up. "Don't make this harder than it is Severus. You know I have to."

The part of Hermione that wanted to cry was brutally shoved down, pushed out of sight. But Severus himself appeared on the verge of tears to Hermione.

"It's not like I want this either," he croaked. "I never want - would never have wanted - but it's ours, Hermione. Ours. Mine too. What if I wanted to keep it?"

Hermione laughed painfully. "Don't be melodramatic Severus. There's no possible way on earth that we could keep it. Or have you forgotten the fucking war that we're in the middle of?"

"Of course I haven't forgotten," Severus snapped, suddenly furious. "But maybe I don't want to see one more pointless fucking death for the sake of this war, least of all my child."

Hermione scowled. "As if you would have ever wanted a child anyway," she said angrily.

Severus grabbed Hermione by the shoulders and for a terrifying moment she thought he was going to shake her

"Don't you dare presume what I would or wouldn't have wanted," he said coldly. "The other me, the one from your world, you didn't know him! He was your teacher, not your friend - you were not privy to all his secrets. And I'm not him. And you sure as hell don't know what I want,"

"So what are you saying?" asked Hermione slowly, and with some surprise. "You actually want to keep it?"

Severus exhaled and rubbed his eyes. His face was full of raw emotion.

"Yes," he said simply, without expanding further. "Yes."

Hermione nodded and stepped forward. She made deliberate eye contact as he had done during their last fight.

"Can I?" she asked. And before Severs could answer, Hermione pushed her way into his mind.

Inside was an assault of dizzying images, painful and frightening. Memories of Severus's parents. His father beating his mother, raging drunk, roaming the house at night leaving Severus to hide in the furthest corner under the bed where nobody could find him.

But there were tender memories too, of Severus and his mother. Being taken out into the garden at night and taught about all the plants, although always glancing over their shoulders for his father. Being read to, snuggled in the roughly made bed at night with his mother. Playing together.

The memories echoed with pain and grief and beneath it all a roaring inferno of violent emotion, which all boiled into a single sentence.

Mine deserves better than this.

Hermione withdrew from the memory and at Severus's thunderous face, though that he was about to rage at her for invading his mind. But he controlled himself.

Tears crept down Hermione's cheeks as she regarded Severus, struck with how intense her emotion was for him. This person, this man-boy, had become the single most important thing in her world.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said quietly. Now she had seen the depth of his pain, and how he wished it was different. "I'm so sorry."

"Please don't do it," Severus said in a choking voice. "At least not yet. Let's talk about it. Why isn't there another option?"

Hermione shook her head.

"This is war, and war always demands things from us that we don't want to give," she said quietly. "I have to. I'm so sorry Severus."

And then without another glance backwards Hermione stood and picked up her bag and left the room.

\\/

Thanks for reading,

Cas