Chapter Thirty-Seven
\\/
They gathered two nights later in Professor Dumbledore's office, a space which now seemed too small for such a crowd. Hermione's friend's; three-quarters of the Marauders; and Lily. A strange collection of people squeezed in among the golden instruments and portraits.
"Why isn't Peter here?" James asked at once. "Why did we have to lie to him?"
"More pertinently - why are they here?" Severus said, eying James and Sirius with loathing.
"Boys," said Arabel and Lily together, and then looked at each other, startled.
Remus pushed past his friends and took a seat in the corner, giving Hermione a tired smile.
"I'm sure the explanations are coming," he said with an effort at cheerfulness.
Severus put a possessive arm around Hermione's waist, and she sighed at him. Lily gazed at them with an inscrutable expression, while James and Sirius had begun to argue with the others. As the noise rose, a small cough came from behind the ornate wooden desk.
Hermione had noticed before that Professor Dumbledore had the talent of fading into the background when he wanted to. The effect now was funny. James and Sirius stopped arguing at once and hastily rearranged their expressions.
"Professor Dumbledore sir," James said. "We didn't see you there."
"Indeed," Professor Dumbledore said. "It is really remarkable how shortsighted one can be in certain circumstances."
"Er yes. Professor, what's all this about? Why are they here?" James gestured to the Slytherins. "And why isn't Peter?"
Professor Dumbledore smiled. "All in due time Mr Potter. Would you care for some tea?"
James paused. "I don't -"
Dumbledore waved his hand briskly and at once a small china tea set appeared, complete with a dozen precariously balanced teacups and a steaming teapot.
"Ah," said Professor Dumbledore. "They always forget the tea cosy."
James opened his mouth, looked at the teapot, and closed it again. In no time at all they perched on chairs crowded into every corner of the tiny office, sipping hot tea and eyeing each other with varying degrees of hostility. James and Severus were shooting each other murderous glares, while Remus was polishing his glasses with the tired movements of someone who would really rather be in bed.
"So now that we are all nicely watered," said Dumbledore, beaming around as though they were all the best of friends. "I imagine you are wondering why you are here."
"I'll say," agreed Sirius, scowling at Regulus. "Interesting company you keep, Professor."
Regulus began to retort, but Professor Dumbledore spoke over him.
"Indeed Mr Black, I do. Now that will be quite enough of that." Although his expression did not change, a note of steel entered his voice. Sirius looked at the floor, and an expectant silence fell across the room.
"Please do not underestimate what I am about to say," Professor Dumbledore continued. "Because the time has come for us to lay aside our grudges and petty rivalries. Every single person in this castle is in grave danger, and disunity is our worst enemy. Your feelings for each other must be laid aside if we are to face the force that is threatening us. If you do not, make no mistake, we will be finished."
It wasn't that he had raised his voice, Hermione thought, but that he projected such power that it simply shut everybody up. Professor Dumbledore neither rose from his seat nor shouted, and yet James and Sirius and even Severus sank bank back into their chairs.
"Good," said Professor Dumbledore. "And now, leaving all that behind us, we will move on."
Nobody dared to speak. The atmosphere was electric. Professor Dumbledore looked at each of them before he spoke.
"You are all on the cusp of adulthood. I have been anticipating inviting some of you here for a number of years. Yet there are others in this room I would never have called upon, and only chance has brought you here."
Hermione's friends were too well-trained to show their emotions, but they were easy to guess and Rabastan's knuckles were white. James and Sirius smiled gleefully at each other, and Dumbledore ignored them.
"However you came here does not matter. Only what I am about to tell you matters. So tell me, have any of you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix?"
Hermione looked around the room but saw only confusion, and Professor Dumbledore nodded.
"The Order of the Phoenix is a secret society. We are a group of witches and wizards dedicated to working together to bring down Lord Voldemort."
"Holy shit," Sirius breathed, looking as though his birthday had come early.
"Indeed Mr Black, an apt response. The Order has only existed for a few years but I daresay you would recognise some of the members. We have people in the Aurors, in the Ministry, and soon we will have someone at the highest level of Lord Voldemort's own inner circle."
Every eye in the room turned to Hermione and she stared stonily at the wall. But James and Sirius could not be distracted for long, and they leaned towards Dumbledore, their faces alight with eagerness.
"You want us to join Professor?" James said.
"We're good," Sirius said quickly. "You've seen us in the duelling tournament. And we're smart -"
Dumbledore raised a hand. "You do not need to convince me of your many talents. I did not bring you here to test you but to give you some information about the choice before you, the weight of which should not be underestimated."
Hermione glanced at her friends, who wore reserved expressions. Rabastan opened his mouth, but it was Arabel who spoke first, cutting through the excitement that was bubbling in the room.
"So you're running an anti-Voldemort group?"
"Yes Miss Selwyn, I am," Professor Dumbledore said.
"With you, Professor, and people from the Ministry and the Aurors?"
"And a whole host of other occupations."
Arabe frowned. "Then why do you need us? Why haven't you defeated him yet? What do you possibly expect us to do to help?"
"Hey -" Sirius said, but Dumbledore interrupted.
"An excellent question. We have a number of members in influential positions and certain advantages like those that Miss Black has brought us. And yet Voldemort is still undefeated. Why?"
The room quietened.
"He's got too many followers," Sirius said. "We've - Reggie and I - we've had them at our house. The Malfoys, Lestranges and Nott's are just the tip of the iceberg."
"He's cruel," Alecto said, her voice barely louder than a whisper. "He does things that you - and your people - wouldn't do."
She flushed red as everybody looked at her.
"He's clever," said Rabastan. "He has plans and plots, ideas inside ideas, he outwits everybody."
"Yeah and he's a fucking monster," Sirius muttered. "No need to get all mushy about him."
"You are all correct," said Professor Dumbledore. "And yet this is only a small part of the truth. Because Lord Voldemort is protected by powerful magic of the darkest kind - and it is this which has kept him undefeated."
"What kind of powers?" Remus asked, speaking up at last.
Professor Dumbledore shook his head.
"I cannot tell you yet. The information is too dangerous. All I can say is that we need your help. And once you have joined the Order of the Phoenix and taken the oath of secrecy I will be able to tell you a great deal more."
A babble of noise broke out in the room, everyone fighting to raise their voice above the general din. The portraits on the walls were shouting too, some of them shaking their heads in disapproval.
"Enough," roared Dumbledore, and silence fell instantly. "Nobody is required to join. You may leave this office now, drink a forgetfulness draught and resume your ordinary life none the wiser. You will not be judged for doing so."
Nobody moved, although Rabastan glanced at the door.
"Or," continued Dumbledore, "You can take the oath, and begin the work that may be the greatest work of your lives - indeed the greatest work done in all wizarding history. Removing evil from the world."
"I'm in," Sirius said.
"So am I," said Regulus.
Sirius's head whipped around, and an array of emotions played themselves out on his face: surprise, irritation, disbelief.
"I don't believe you," he said.
"I daresay I've done more damage to the Dark Lord this year than you," Regulus said.
Sirius looked around to see if anyone disagreed with this but found Dumbledore examining the teapot, and Hermione's friends nodding.
"What can you have possibly -"
"Well to start with, he was the first person ever to cast a spell to remove the Dark Mark from a living human," Hermione said.
"He's been spying on your parents to get information on what their Death Eater friends are doing," Arabel added. and Sirius looked stunned.
"Well I'm in," said James. "When do we start?"
Lily smacked James on the arm. "Obviously I'm in too."
"Me too," said Remus.
Alecto and Rabastan nodded, and Arabel hesitated for half a second before giving her agreement.
"Good," said Professor Dumbeldore, smiling as though they had lived up to all of his expectations. "The Order of the Phoenix will be meeting on New Year's Day to discuss plans for the upcoming year. We will send out invitations giving the details of the safe house the meeting will be held at. If you expect to have any problems attending the meeting please owl me."
Nobody spoke, as though they were all struck by the gravity of what they had just agreed to, and then James said:
"I still don't understand why Peter isn't here."
Hermione let out an involuntary growl, but Dumbledore's pleasant expression didn't slip.
"Another thing we can discuss on New Year's Day. Now off to bed with you all."
\\/
December passed, and the holidays drew closer. Hermione waited anxiously to hear what the Order of the Phoenix members found when they went searching for the Horcruxes, but no message arrived and the days turned into weeks. Something else began to demand her attention.
"I swear Stella Malfoy owls me every fucking day," Hermione complained to Severus, one afternoon in the owlery. In a temper she tugged too hard on the string she was using to tie her letter onto a school owl and it hooted sharply at her.
"She isn't talking about a formal dance after the ceremony anymore is she?"
"Worse. Now she wants to take me to get a dress fitted 'in the traditional fashion'. What does that even mean?"
Severus shrugged, plucking a feather from her hair. Hermione sighed and carried the owl over to the window. She tossed it up into the air and it caught an updraft instantly, soaring high above their heads.
"I know we wanted to get married because of the baby, but…I don't know."
"What's wrong?" Severus said. "Are you having second thoughts?"
"Not about you. It's just…I was raised to take marriage seriously, and I hate that it's getting turned into some time of death eater ceremony," Hermione said. She kept her voice low. Even when they were alone it didn't feel safe to say these things out loud.
"Are you having doubts about going through with it?"
Severus turned away but his voice was strained. Hermione reached out to touch his arm.
"Sev! No of course not. I couldn't even if I wanted to."
"Does it matter?" Severus said. "This marriage means that we get to be together forever. It's for the rest of our lives. Does it matter how the actual ceremony happens?"
"I think it does," Hermione said, leaning her head against his shoulder. "He's taken so much already. Is this what you want to tell the baby about? Another death eater ceremony?"
Severus rubbed at his forearm and paused for a long second, staring out across the forest. His brow was furrowed and he looked deep in thought.
"I've had an idea," he said at last. "Who says there only has to be one ceremony? Why don't we do it alone? Before whatever disaster Voldemort and Stella Malfoy come up with, let's do it for real first."
Hermione stared at him.
"Really?"
"Why not?"
It was crazy, but it made a kind of sense. Could they do that?
"Do you mean it?" Hermione said.
"Sure, why not? We've got a few days when the winter holiday starts. We could go somewhere wild where they can't find us. Scotland's full of places like that."
"But if we do - no repeating of vows, I don't want anything like the marking ceremony," Hermione said.
"We don't need anything like that. We can write our own - keep it simple."
"And no blood magic."
"No magic at all, if you like."
Severus understood. He always had.
"No magic," Hermione said with relief and watched the owl disappear out of sight over the forbidden forest.
\\/
The Christmas holidays arrived at last. On the final morning, Hermione and her friends sat by the common room fire and watched the other students dragging trunks past them.
"Are you sure you want it to be outside?" Arabel asked Hermione. "We could stay at my place, do some shopping for a dress in Diagon Alley tomorrow…"
"No," Hermione said, with certainty. "This is perfect. No dresses. Out in the middle of nowhere."
"There's going to be enough dresses at the other one," Rabastan said, stretching his feet towards the fire. "No offence Severus, but I'm glad she's marrying you and not me."
Regulus snorted as Hermione leaned across and smacked Rabastan. He rubbed his head.
"Just saying what you're thinking," he said. "What did Lady Malfoy say in her letter again?"
Hermione scowled and pulled out the folded piece of parchment. Rabastan snatched it gleefully.
"Please be advised that your carriage will be drawn by Abraxan horses," he read. "And that your veil may not be raised throughout the ride to the marquee."
"Alright," Hermione conceded as Regulus and Arabel sniggered. "It's going to be monstrous. But that's why we're doing tomorrow instead."
"I've always wanted to try planning a wedding," Arabel said. "I'm rather looking forward to it."
"Exciting as this is, we'd better get the train," Regulus said, checking his watch. They all stood up, and stretched. Only Hermione and Severus were staying at Hogwarts overnight.
"We'll see you tomorrow," Hermione said. "I'll send you the coordinates in the evening. Remember -"
"Don't be followed," Arabel said. "We know. We'll be there."
\\/
It was a wild and lonely outcrop in the Scottish highlands, overlooking a small frozen loch. No walkers ventured here in the winter, and the only life in the landscape was heather and tall spiky trees. Hermione had camped on this exact spot with Harry and Ron during the hunt for the Horcruxes, and even then the strange, wild beauty of the place had drawn her in. The isolation, the craggy mountains rising around them, and the loch below.
"The public one is going to be a lot bigger than this," Hermione said, staring across the frozen water.
Severus smiled at her. "This one couldn't really get much smaller."
Hermione wandered towards the edge of the rocky outcrop, and Severus caught hold of the back of her robes.
"Don't you go falling now."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
Hermione kissed him, and he caught a handful of her hair. She had worn her hair loose, and her robes plain. There would be time on the solstice for dresses and diamond and makeup that shimmered, but she didn't come to Severus like that. It wasn't who she was, and now she knew it never would be.
When she pulled back, his face looked as though the night had shed a cloak, letting the stars blaze freely. He stared at her as a man lost for words, as though she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"I'm so..." Severus said and trailed off. He took her hand and pressed a kiss to it. "I never thought that this would happen to me. Hermione, I'm not good with words, but this -"
His eyes filled unexpectedly with tears, and Hermione took both his hands in hers. They were dry and warm and familiar, the safest thing she could imagine. She stood on tiptoes to kiss him, his mouth, his cheeks, the nose she had once mended, so very long ago it seemed now.
"Don't you go falling apart on me now," Hermione said. "We're about to have company."
The outcrop was devoid of any movement or sound except the clicking of insects and the rustle of the heather in the slight breeze. Severus noticed her anxiety.
"They'll be here."
"What if he -"
"They're smart. They know how to shake off trackers. Come on."
Hermione knew it was true and pressed her lips together. Her friends were all clever and fast, two-faced and savvy. She had nothing to worry about.
A moment later cracks echoed around the clearing, and four figures appeared. Hermione scanned their minds quickly, sensing that they were who they appeared to be. It was them.
Arabel was the first to break ranks; she hurried towards Hermione and tsked at her robes. Hermione brushed her off, too nervous and excited for her fussing.
"This is amazing," Alecto said, staring at the loch. "I can't believe we've been at Hogwarts for seven years and they've never taken us to places like this."
"We need to be quick or we'll be missed. Are you ready?" Regulus asked.
"We are," Severus said, answering for them both. Alecto and Arabel quietened down, and Hermione led all six of them towards the edge where there was a tree. Hermione liked it because it was twisted and gnarled but gripping the ground regardless, she paused beside it.
"Here," she said.
The chattering died away, and the four friends gathered around Hermione and Severus. Rabastan cast globes of light into the air and they hovered overhead, lighting the group with a warm radiance. Arabel stepped forward with Hermione's blue notebook in her hands. She cleared her throat.
"Go for it," she said.
Hermione met Severus's eyes. They were scorching, alight. Nothing could have prepared her for this, but she had never felt so certain of anything in all her life.
"I come to you, Severus Tobias Snape. Where you go, I will go. Where you lodge, I will lodge. Where you die, I shall die - there I will be buried. May magic do thus as so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you."
Alecto sniffled, a tear already tracking down her face. Severus gazed at Hermione with a joy so fierce it took her breath. His eyes never left hers as he repeated the words of the vow.
"I come to you, Hermione Jean Granger."
At the sound of her real name, spoken out loud for the first time in longer than she could remember, Hermione caught her breath.
"Where you go, I will go. Where you lodge, I will lodge. Where you die, I shall die - there I will be buried. May magic do thus as so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you."
Severus's voice caught on the last word, and he took a deep shuddering breath before the final line.
"This I vow. Now and forever, until death do us part, this I vow, Hermione."
The unscripted words broke through a barrier in Hermione that she hadn't known existed, and she tried to speak, but the lump in her throat prevented it. Arabel turned to them both, beaming.
"Give me your hands."
Hermione and Severus extended their hands together, fingers interlocked. Arabel took a simple length of plain white string and looped it three times around their wrists before knotting it. There were no more words, no fanfare, no ritual or announcement.
Hermione turned to Severus and kissed him passionately, as though they were alone in the clearing. She, always so private, couldn't contain herself. She felt alive with happiness - the kind of happiness she had never dared to imagine she might feel again. Severus crushed her to him and he - even more private - cared nothing for what their friends saw.
It was a long time before Hermione heard the applause. She and Severus weren't the only ones in tears; all four of their friends had glistening eyes as they clapped.
"Congratulations," Rabastan said, squeezing Severus on the shoulder and kissing Hermione on the cheek.
"That was beautiful," Alecto said, as Arabel unknotted the string. It was, after all, only a symbol.
\\/
I was very disappointed to discover that all the writing I thought I had completed over Christmas turned out to be unedited. So. Many. Adverbs.
Thanks for all the fic recs, and for letting me know where you're at and how your lockdown is going. It helps us feel a bit less alone out here! And yes, it is a boat, and yes it is quite small. Home sweet home.
Thanks for reading,
Cas
PS - Wedding vows come from the book of Ruth.
