Chapter Forty-Six

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Sirius pushed the door open, and Hermione stared, a smile breaking across her face. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but it wasn't this. This must be the reason James was the best in the year at transfiguration.

A transformation had occurred in the empty classroom on the third floor. The cold, dusty room had turned into something closely resembling a pub. Gone were the desks and chairs, replaced by high stools and tall tables. In place of a teacher's desk, there was a bar with rows of bottles and beer taps. James was pulling a pint with casual expertise as Sirius shut the door.

"Hermione!" Lily exclaimed. She was sitting on a barstool, face torn between amusement and disapproval. "Help me stop this lot from getting expelled - they need to change the room back before McGonagall finds it!"

Remus was leaning against the counter. He took the pint glass from James, shrugging and grinning when he caught Hermione's eye.

"Nonsense, Lily," Sirius said, tossing a handful of galleons onto the counter. "I'll have a pint of your finest, bartender. And for the lady?"

Hermione snorted. Lily was scowling with disapproval. "I'll have a firewhiskey on the rocks," she said, sliding onto the stool next to Lily. "And she'll have one too."

"Coming right up," James said, as Lily spluttered.

Hermione took her glass and raised it to Lily. "Cheers?"

Lily chewed the inside of her cheek as though trying not to laugh. She clinked her glass with Hermione. "Cheers."

Hermione picked up her glass, passing her hand over it with a quick wandless alcohol-removal spell. She took a deep swallow of firewhiskey, the burn coursing down her throat. The spell was a brilliant invention. It was impossible to taste any difference in the drink, though all the alcohol had vanished. Lily began to cough, eyes streaming.

"Hasn't she had firewhisky before?" Hermione said to James.

"Nope. Lucky it's a special occasion."

"It is a special occasion," Sirius said, hopping up beside them. "It's the last first night back at Hogwarts we'll ever have."

Silence fell. Hermione drained the rest of her firewhiskey, figuring that since it was alcohol-free she needn't hold back. Last first night back. Forever, this time.

"I'm gonna miss this place," Sirius said, rapping his knuckles on the wall. "Even the classes."

"I'll miss it," Lily said. "But I'm excited too. To start - you know - living. Get a job and everything."

Lily looked down. Unspoken words hung in the air. None of them would be free to pursue a regular life until Voldemort was gone. Hermione shifted in her chair. We'll get him soon, she wanted to tell them. This will all be over by the end of the duelling competition, one way or another. By the time the school year ends, you'll be free.

Or dead.

"What are you going to do?" Hermione asked Lily.

"I'm interviewing for a traineeship at St Mungo's next month," Lily shrugged. "But it doesn't seem to matter much. The Order of the Phoenix comes first."

"Not true," James said. "Your career is important, Lils."

"Not if we aren't around for it," Lily said quietly.

Everyone became busy with their drinks, avoiding each other's eyes. Hermione half-regretted coming. She was sure that telling Lily about her death, and Harry was what had made her so fatalistic. It had been a mistake to show her.

"You miserable fucks," Sirius said, slamming his drink down on the counter. "Come on, I'm not having it. Last night back at Hogwarts! Let's get pissed and prank the Slytherins."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "I think not. I'd prefer it if you didn't get us all disfigured on the first night back."

"Oh c'mon, we've got to have some fun," Sirius said.

"We're having fun," James said, spreading his hands. "Having a drink with friends, enjoying the last night back."

"Where's Peter?" Hermione asked. It hadn't escaped her notice that he hadn't been around much recently.

James glanced toward the door, face regretful. And guilty. "He didn't take it so well when he wasn't chosen for the Order. He's been hanging out with Slytherins instead lately."

"We traded for you," Sirius said, half-smiling, but it faded when James and Remus looked away.

Hermione sighed inwardly. Perhaps she should have killed Peter off when she arrived. The Marauders could have grieved, moved on, and never been any the wiser. But somehow that thought didn't sit any more easily with her.

"Look this is depressing," Sirius said. A strange, manic glint had appeared in his eye.

"If we can't prank anyone, I want tradition."

James groaned, and Remus shook his head. Lily and Hermione exchanged confused glances.

"What's the tradition?" Lily asked.

"We're not going there," James said.

"We are," Sirius insisted.

"We're adults Sirius, not thirteen-year-olds."

"You were sixteen last year."

James rolled his eyes, and Sirius grinned. He turned to Hermione and Lily. "How would you ladies like to join us for an evening of wizards' truth or dare."

"James is right, we're not twelve," Remus said, but his lips twitched.

"Tradition," Sirius said, holding his glass out to James.

"You did this every year?" Lily said.

"Well James couldn't manage a whole bar until the fifth year," Sirius said. "But we'd bring up butterbeer. And truth or dare, yeah."

Hermione leaned back in her chair, watching them banter with each other. It had been so long since she had been around friends who joked like this. Her Slytherin friends had been loyal and good company, but they lacked the lightheartedness. It was like being back with Harry and Ron.

"What do you say, Hermione?" Sirius said.

"Sorry, what?" Hermione said, caught off guard.

"You going to stay and play?"

"Um," Hermione hesitated, glancing towards the door. It had been nice to have a quick drink, but it was getting late, and her research was waiting.

Sirius scowled, and Remus laughed. James put another drink in front of Hermione.

"Don't leave me with this lot," Lily said, taking another hesitant sip of her drink. "God knows what kind of truth or dare they've thought up."

"Alright," Hermione said for the second time that evening. "I'll stay."

Wizards truth or dare, it turned out, was close to the muggle version, with a few magical modifications. Sirius brought out a clinking box of vials which he passed around. Hermione uncorked hers and sniffed at the blue liquid inside.

"Non-Mentioras," she said. "Really? Is that necessary?"

"Gotta keep it real," Sirius said, opening his vial and downing it in one gulp. Hermione eyed him. The manic glint was back, and something felt off. But James and Remus followed suit without hesitation.

"Do you always use this?" Lily asked uncertainly. "I mean, can't you just use a truth spell?"

"This is better," Sirius said. "A truth spell compels you to speak. This just makes sure whatever you say is true, but it doesn't force the words out."

Under normal circumstances, nothing could have induced Hermione to take a strange potion brewed by god-knew-who. Mad-Eye Moody would have been appalled. But something close to recklessness had overtaken Hermione, and she found herself tipping the liquid into her mouth. What the hell. Did it matter now?

"Go Hermione," Sirius crowed. Lily rolled her eyes and drank hers too.

Sirius levitated a table into the centre of the room, and they dragged their chairs around. James poured fresh drinks and passed them around, and Sirius drained a half-empty bottle of mead and placed it in the centre of the table.

"How do you play?" Hermione asked.

For answer, Sirius spun the bottle on the table and waved his wand over it. A flash of silver and the bottle spun in a blur and came to point at James.

Sirius grinned triumphantly. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

Sirius rubbed his hands together. "Right. Go to McGonagall's room now, while everyone's at dinner, and bring back a pair of her knickers."

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed, hand over her mouth. "That's disgusting!"

Remus was, Hermione noticed, trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. James grimaced.

"Come on mate, that's a bit fourth year."

"You didn't go through with it in fourth year," Sirius pointed out.

"Yeah, and I paid," James said, shuddering.

"You wanna forfeit again?" Sirius said, cocking an eyebrow. James paled so fast that Hermione tilted her head.

"What's the forfeit?"

"Can't tell," James and Sirius said in unison.

"What?"

"We can't tell you," James repeated.

"That's completely -"

"The rules," Sirius said.

"Make it her socks instead," James pleaded, but Sirius shook his head.

"Nah. I've been wanting a pair of her knickers since I was thirteen, and this is the year the dream comes true."

James grimaced but stood. "The worst part is under the potion I know you're not lying."

"James!" Lily gasped. "You're not actually going to -"

"Marauder's honour," James said to her, shrugging. He pulled out a tiny broom from his pocket, tapping it with his wand. In seconds it grew to full size. Tossing a salute to Sirius, James opened the window and leapt, falling out of sight in seconds.

Lily folded her arms and glared at Sirius, but he wasn't looking at her. He seemed preoccupied with Remus, who stared pointedly at the wall.

James returned five minutes later, swooping in and tossing a small bundle at Sirius. It unfolded in midair like a flag, and Sirius snatched it and held it up with delight.

"Oh Merlin, look at this."

The large, sensible pair of underwear was sturdy, designed to keep its wearer comfortable and warm. And patterned in green tartan.

Sirius raised it to his nose and breathed in deeply. Lily grimaced, a queasy expression on her face, but James shook his head.

"Sorry to disappoint, but they're fresh from her drawer."

"How did you get in?" Lily asked, but Sirius shook his head.

"We can never tell. Come on James, your turn to spin."

James sighed, but hopped up to his stool beside Lily and tapped the bottle. It spun, flashing until it landed on Remus.

"Truth or dare, Remus my man?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever….you know. When you were...transformed?"

"Have I ever...what?"

Sirius tossed a peanut into the air and caught it between his teeth with an audible crunch. "James is too shy to say it. Waxed your wand. Made the bald wizard cry. Charmed the serpent. Spanked the -"

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed.

Remus stared at Sirius with open disgust, and Lily opened her mouth again, but Hermione snorted with laughter, grabbing the table to stop herself slipping off the stool. They all began to laugh. Even Lily cracked a smile.

"No," Remus said, eventually, as Hermione wiped tears from her eyes. "I have never self-pleasured as a werewolf. Absolutely, categorically, not."

It set the tone for the evening. The questions and dares varied from crude to ridiculous. Hermione roared with laughter with them, buoyed up by giddy weightlessness, and the firewhiskey that James kept sloshing into her glass.

The wonderful thing about the alcohol-removal spell was that the effects still hit, though no alcohol entered your body. Much better than the muggle versions, which left you stone-cold sober. Hermione was getting rip-roaringly drunk, and she liked it.

When the bottle finally spun to land on her, however, she picked dare. She still had some sense, after all.

"My turn," Sirius slurred, slamming a fist down on the table. "Hermione, I dare you to...I dare you to…"

"She can get into Slytherin," James suggested. "Get her to trash the common room."

"No," Lily said, trying to slap James on the arm but missing by several inches. "That's not fair."

"Life's not fair Lils," Remus said, slumping against the table. "Gotta just get on with it."

"Even when he's drunk Moony's depressing," Sirius groaned.

"Get her to fly naked around the quidditch pitch or something," Remus yawned. "It's a classic."

"Bo-oring," Sirius dragged out the word. "Nah I've got a better one. It's our last year. Let's piss off someone bigger than McGonagall."

Hermione sloshed more firewhiskey into her glass. "Hm? Who're we pissing off?"

"Who else?" Sirius said, a glint appearing in his eyes. "Let's annoy Voldie."

Hermione snorted, but he raised a hand to stop her. "It's my dare, and I'm choosing it. You can cast the Dark Mark, right?"

Wrinkling her nose, Hermione nodded. "Yeah."

"Good. Go up to the astronomy tower and cast it. But add something that'll...I dunno. Piss him off."

"Piss him off?" Hermione said incredulously.

"No," Lily said, eyes wide. "Don't do it."

"Mate, no," James said, sitting up abruptly.

"What's the forfeit if I don't?" Hermione demanded.

"Can't tell," James, Sirius and Remus all said in unison.

"Excuse me?"

"It's the rules," Sirius said. "You don't find out the forfeit until you've already forfeited."

"That's - "

"The rules."

"They're shit rules," Hermione said and slammed back the rest of her drink. She got to her feet. "Come on then, let's go."

"Wait, really?" Sirius squeaked, and then covered his mouth.

"Why not?" Hermione said, giddy with the firewhiskey and the recklessness flowing through her. "He's already going to try and kill me next week, what more can he do? Fuck him."

"Yeah," Sirius cheered, banging his glass against the table. "Fuck him!"

"Yeah, fuck him," James said half-heartedly.

"I don't think -" Lily began, but Hermione ignored her, stuffing a few bottles into her pockets and heading for the door. She stumbled and had to grab a table. Somehow she'd ended up more drunk than she realised.

Sirius slung an arm around her shoulders. "Come on you, let's go."

Hermione tried to shrug off his arm, but he laughed and removed it himself. "Don't sweat darling, I told you you're not my type."

"What is your type?" Hermione slurred, stumbling through the doorway.

"Tall blonde and handsome," Sirius said carelessly, taking a swig from the bottle and belching loudly.

Hermione squinted at him, but her head was spinning, and she couldn't put his words in any sensible order.

"Whatever."

"Sirius, this is a really bad idea," Remus said, putting a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "Forget the forfeit, she could get into real trouble for this."

"Yeah I dunno about this," James said.

"Shut up James," Hermione said, pushing his chest. He looked so much like Harry at that moment, slightly annoyed and uncertain, that it made her angry as well as reckless.

"Fuck him, and fuck you if you're not coming," she said and turned for the stairs. Sirius followed, bottles clinking, and after a moment's hesitation so did the others.

It was bitingly cold on top of the astronomy tower. In the bright and cloudless night, the stars above them were so clear that the swirling milky way was visible. The cold air sobered Hermione slightly, and she shivered.

"S'a long way down," Sirius mumbled, and Hermione joined him peering over the edge. It was, indeed, a long way down.

How long would it take to hit the ground from here?

"Too fucking long," Sirius said, and Hermione realised she'd spoken out loud.

"Are you going to get on with it?" Remus burst out, rubbing his arms. His face was dark.

Hermione steadied herself against the stone wall. Could she still cast the spell with her head this foggy? Lily was biting her lip, and James shuffled anxiously.

"What're you going to do?" he asked.

Hermione hesitated, tilting her head to the sky. The constellations danced up above, beautiful but threatening. What could she do? Tempting as it was, she couldn't bring herself to cast the first thing that came to mind - which was the skull sucking a cock. That idea might get her Avada-ed before the final duel.

It couldn't be suicidal. So what else? Something rebellious. Something that was the biggest fuck you to the Dark Lord that he would never understand. Hermione smirked, an idea taking shape. She traced the wand movements, unsure her abilities would hold with so much alcohol sloshing around her system. But the moves came.

Hermione pointed her wand to the sky. "Morsmordre!"

Electricity crackled through her. A green light shot into the sky like a comet, unfolding like fireworks bursting into shimmering life. The familiar skull appeared first, grinning down at them. And then -

"Huh," Sirius said, squinting up at the sky. "I don't get it."

"Neither will he," Hermione said, crossing her arms with satisfaction. "But I do."

She turned on her heel and left the tower. Behind her, high in the sky, the skull still glowed. But it dimmed in the dazzling light of an enormous lightning bolt. The bolt struck the skull on the forehead, splitting it in two in a shower of sparks.

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Thanks for reading,

Cas